FabSwingers.com forum: Single man frustration

By *doitright OP Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its every single man on here

There are way more men that use the site than women so unfortunately there aren't enough women to go around

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

This is the same for every man bar 5%. The numbers just aren’t on your side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

What's your first message to people?

Your photos are very cock heavy. One photo will show the goods not really a need for so many. Maybe an upper body pic.

You can fluff your bio up too. Your likes, what you're looking for. Show your personality.

You need to make yourself stand out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me?

What's your first message to people?

Your photos are very cock heavy. One photo will show the goods not really a need for so many. Maybe an upper body pic.

You can fluff your bio up too. Your likes, what you're looking for. Show your personality.

You need to make yourself stand out. "

Totally agree

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Are you asking questions in your first message? Making it easy for someone to reply?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

You need to understand what generally attracts women instead.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

Men with big baguettes ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best advice is go to clubs and or socials get your face about and meet people.

I have had messages in the past deleted my ladies to then bump into them in clubs and get on like a house on fire.

It's so much easier in person.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Best advice is read the profile. And offer whqt they are looking for, if it fits your interests too. If you read ours it's quite easy. Message us asking to watch us, your get blocked. Don't be tempted, already had 2 this week. Wastes our time reading it then blocking. Or messages like, wanna chat see how we get on? Again, we're only looking when meets qre up. Why chat forever, going off the boil and dairy not lining up.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

Men with big baguettes ?"

Huge, stuffed ones.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

Men with big baguettes ?"

We all luff a loaf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like so many guys, you think it's all about your cock. It really isn't, we want to see different pictures to gauge you as a person not just a cock.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Best advice is read the profile. And offer whqt they are looking for, if it fits your interests too. If you read ours it's quite easy. Message us asking to watch us, your get blocked. Don't be tempted, already had 2 this week. Wastes our time reading it then blocking. Or messages like, wanna chat see how we get on? Again, we're only looking when meets qre up. Why chat forever, going off the boil and dairy not lining up. "

I like to get to know people before I have sex with them but at the same time if I know it’s going well then I like to get a date in the diary early on so the conversation has a point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its every single man on here

There are way more men that use the site than women so unfortunately there aren't enough women to go around "

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

For every single tu on here to get just one meet a year every lady would need to meet 2/3 times a week which lets face it is never going to happen

So you need to really up your profile game, to stand out, think about changing your profile pic, doesn't have to be a face pic but at the moment it just looks like a camera flash & I like a dick pic but 10.. 2s plenty, believe it or not lots of women and couples don't want to see a dickpic so your profile would be an instant block to them especially with so many

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"For every single tu on here to get just one meet a year every lady would need to meet 2/3 times a week which lets face it is never going to happen

The stats are probably worse then that to be honest. That assumes that no one is going to meet the same guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think also you need to stay positive. It’s like an interview application. You need to contact lots to get a reply.

It’s up to us men to make the first move. And do t get disheartened if you don’t get a reply.

You will get there!!

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Same with all single males and as a couple we are fully 100% aware of what a penis looks like ?? and far more interested in what it's attached to as Mrs really does find that bit far more attractive/sexy ??

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

On fab guys you’d get loads of messages. On here you’re just another guy with his cock out.

You have a good body but so do many other guys on the site.

Stand out or merge into the background, currently it’s the latter.

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

You have a good body I think. But I don't get much of your personality. Your likes, dislikes, whether you have a sense of humour or not. Can someone relax in your company to have a fab time. All these things count for me.

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By *omerset tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Weston-super-Mare

Put a dress on and a,wig bit of make up and watch meets come flooding in .....im joking of course but ive had guys message me on fab they only became bi cus they cudnt get any meets with women on fab wtf

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By *onyjoCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Another problem we have found when attempting to meet single men they talk the talk but then when it comes to actually meeting they back out without any explanation. Its not in every case but happends alot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

The very fact you posted a look at poor me thread will cause some to steer clear. Accept you are on a recreational sex site where there are tens of thousands of guys in the mix with you!

It’s a bit of fun...........

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By *lirt and funCouple
over a year ago

ilford

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

You need to understand what generally attracts women instead."

I love to get a message from a fella with a sense of humour. Too many men on here with the serious, Mr Grey mentality. I'm on FAB to have fun and enjoy meeting others. I do feel for chaps on here though. The MF ratio is incredibly high xx

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By *ornyspiceCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

Men with big baguettes ?

Huge, stuffed ones. "

Stuffed with pure Beef lol

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

It's all about the video chat rooms I find. If people can see you actually exist and interact they're far keener to engage via message. Otherwise, get down to one of the better clubs and maybe get involved with any forum threads about the event you are planning on attending in the days/weeks running up to it. Unless you have kick-ass photos on your profile and look like some kind of adonis, simply messaging people semi-randomly and expecting a reply is more or less a waste of time in my experience, and if you're not sending amazing opening messages will probably just get you ignored and or blocked. When I first joined the site my profile wasn't that great and nor were my pictures and I feel like I probably hurt my chances with a lot of potentials by sending boring messages. I'd be tempted to start over but it took me a fair while to get proper verifications from real people and I don't want to end up back at square one again

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By *ess King tvTV/TS
over a year ago

KING'S LYNN

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

And to be fair, this is a site for swinging couples. Single people are on the periphery - single guys especially x

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

Probably most men on here

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

"What's your first message to people?

Your photos are very cock heavy. One photo will show the goods not really a need for so many. Maybe an upper body pic.

You can fluff your bio up too. Your likes, what you're looking for. Show your personality.

You need to make yourself stand out. "

This

Not only do you need to stand out with both your bio, photos and first message, but - as far as couples are concerned- those things should also demonstrate you will respect not only the lady of the couple but also the guy. Because if he isn’t respected or comfortable about who you are, you’ve got no chance. (BTW not saying you’re being disrespectful anywhere, it’s just your profile needs to inspire confidence in you

)

Post an example of your opening message and you’ll get some great feedback

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By *orMatureWomenAndCouplesMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

It really comes down to patience, resilience and conversation

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By *ustSomeDarkieMan
over a year ago

Salford

If you're a man then like all things in life. Unless you're in the top 1% you get dunked on and you have to struggle to get anything you want.

All in all, were bottom of the barrel so get used to it and claw out your own path.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"It really comes down to patience, resilience and conversation "

This, plus add in a little "don't take it too seriously"

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

" is it just me? "

Just you mate.

The other thousands of people posting the same thing are all lying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women will tell you you've got too many pics of your cock but the only picture they have are of their tits and beaver.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone goes on about men struggling on here and I can safely say I dont!!! I make very little effort and have never struggled, I'm quite fussy who I meet and I don't just message everyone hoping to get a shag, I send nice messages that never contain sex in them, and I accomadate if your a grown man you can accomadate might not be all the time if you have kids ECT but at some point you can accomadate.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

You need to understand what generally attracts women instead."

This

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Women will tell you you've got too many pics of your cock but the only picture they have are of their tits and beaver. "

An over generalisation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

You need to understand what generally attracts women instead.

This

What generally attracts women?

I would be interested to know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're a man then like all things in life. Unless you're in the top 1% you get dunked on and you have to struggle to get anything you want.

All in all, were bottom of the barrel so get used to it and claw out your own path."

But other than that everything is ok?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a hot guy like you.am very suprised. Move up North.i would meet ya anytime.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finding a Woman or Couple can be difficult for all, not just single Men.

We are (when seeking) hoping to meet a couple and not managed it yet.

We have though met single Men.

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By *J and CBCouple
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

My wife and i would be interested but you are straight.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

As a man in here. It is hard for all of us but what I have found is persistence and it will happen eventually don’t know when but it will happen.

Try not to get too disheartened and simply don’t be a dickhead

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By *redy81Man
over a year ago

London

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

Mate, we outnumber girls here something like 100 to 1... I have three tips that work for me, I hope they can help.

1. Try clubs, be friendly and social. Works way better. Someone mentioned here and it happened to me too, that I met with a couple in a club, had a great night together and when I arrived home I noticed that I messaged them months before - no answer. Then we met in person and they were very much interested!

2. Try regular dating apps with an honest approach if you are only looking for something casual. Don't say in your profile that you are only for a quick shag, rather write something like "I'll move out of the UK in a couple of months, so don't look for anything long term, but truly believe in the beauty of flirting if it based on respect and honesty". For me it works very well both on Tinder and Happn, brings me way more success than this site.

3. If you still want to try your luck here, target those profiles that don't have any photos. You will face way less competition and from the details (age, body type) you still can have an idea about the person you are talking to. Most of the time when a girl doesn't show a photo on her page is not coz she is ugly, but because she is really worried about her privacy.

Okay, you will bump into some catfishes too, but here comes that what sort of photos do you show on your profile? You will need to send a face pic with your messages otherwise you have no chance. And your profile is full of cock pics. If you are comfortable showing face and cock picks together to random strangers (who can be even your colleagues, IRL friends or catfishes who will download them and use them elsewhere) then it's fine. If not, I think cock pictures don't help that much to be worth showing. Personally, I only show/send photos that I could share on my instagram too, soo even if I send them to a catfish/someone I know, what can go wrong? They have my face photo showing me in a bar, or they have a photo of me in boxer, like if I was on the beach. What wrong can even a catfish do with it? They can fuck off...

Yes, I'm here, as I'm single and I like girls, like sex, nothing is a secret about it, even in my real life. But I'd not feel comfortable making full nudes of myself (possibly) circulating on the web.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus on a tricycle it’s a recreational sex site. 200,000 single guys ( some not so) it’s not in your gift!

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "
Not just you. You have to realise your chances of a meet are a million to one. I've been on fab nearly 14 years and only had 1 meet. The odds are against you. There is a good chance of loads of chats and promising situations, like I have had, but every single one stabs you in the back or let's you down, so accept you may never get a meet, though there's always that slim chance that keeps you on here.

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By *hin_chillinWoman
over a year ago

secret location Cork

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

You need to understand what generally attracts women instead.

Totally agree with this comment, a sense of humour goes a long way. Someone that makes me laugh is instantly more attractive

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By *hin_chillinWoman
over a year ago

secret location Cork

"Women will tell you you've got too many pics of your cock but the only picture they have are of their tits and beaver. "

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

You're definitely not the only one. We recently opened up our filters, most of the messages we receive are shockingly poor, from profiles that are poor. One message and profile piqued our interest out of 100+, so 99+ won't get a reply and are very unlikely to get a reply off others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yawn…..

Pass.

Too many cock pictures as per 90% of single men on here.

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

So coming from another single guy here your profile and pics basically tells me you have a cock and want to do more things maybe being a little more specific about what your looking for and what you have already done/like and have a pic without your cock in it

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Go to an organised social if you want to meet people, and make your profile better ... It's poor .. look at other profiles...and the many threads on what you can do to be improve it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me?

The very fact you posted a look at poor me thread will cause some to steer clear. Accept you are on a recreational sex site where there are tens of thousands of guys in the mix with you!

It’s a bit of fun..........."

Probably less fun if you're not getting to take part in any of the fun which I suspect is the reason behind OPs post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The irony of joining fab cos you’re frustrated.

Then finding it frustrating on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Know the feeling. ‘Have tried improving profile and photos. I get some replies but very little. Even went to a party where a lot of the women who were there, had never answered a message from me, but got on well face to face. I always try to write pleasant messages as well.

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By *imandLiz14Couple
over a year ago

Needham

"Another problem we have found when attempting to meet single men they talk the talk but then when it comes to actually meeting they back out without any explanation. Its not in every case but happends alot."

This is why we only meet at Chameleons Darlaston now,

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Women will tell you you've got too many pics of your cock but the only picture they have are of their tits and beaver. "

Then turn down offers fron those women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you’ve been given some really helpful advice on your thread.

It’s a shame you haven’t bothered to acknowledge any of it

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By *ildrocketCouple
over a year ago

North Warwickshire

"OP you’ve been given some really helpful advice on your thread.

It’s a shame you haven’t bothered to acknowledge any of it

Not like the OP hasn't had time, it was 3 weeks ago he made his original post.

You get out what you put in

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me?

The very fact you posted a look at poor me thread will cause some to steer clear. Accept you are on a recreational sex site where there are tens of thousands of guys in the mix with you!

It’s a bit of fun...........

Probably less fun if you're not getting to take part in any of the fun which I suspect is the reason behind OPs post "

You shouldn't expect anything joining any site from tinder to fab. Manage your expectations. The site doesn't owe you a shag for joining.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 04/01/24 18:03:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"You're definitely not the only one. We recently opened up our filters, most of the messages we receive are shockingly poor, from profiles that are poor. One message and profile piqued our interest out of 100+, so 99+ won't get a reply and are very unlikely to get a reply off others."

Poor in what way?Crudity or inane?

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I bet you get loafs of attention from men.

You need to understand what generally attracts women instead.

This

What generally attracts women?

I would be interested to know!"

An excellent question

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By *revaunanceCouple
46 weeks ago

Exeter

Poor in what way?Crudity or inane?"

Given that they posted that message over a year ago, it's probably safe to assume that they won't remember specifics

But from our experience, the messages are inane and unengaging far more often than not.

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By *ryton 123TV/TS
46 weeks ago

Chatham

Just recently decided to explore my bi side, absolutely loving it.quite a few meets but its trying to sort the genuine men.

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By *ser123500Man
46 weeks ago

PETERBOROUGH

same for me just get unwanted attention from men think the women can see the red flags lol

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By *oiluvfunMan
38 weeks ago

Penrith

"same for me just get unwanted attention from men think the women can see the red flags lol"

You can block men from messaging you if it annoys you? I don’t mind guys messaging me; it proves my mailbox hasn’t frozen…..

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I’m in the same boat no women are replying

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By *rill PhilMan
38 weeks ago

Crediton

I think this is the story for most of us men.

We outnumber the women on here 10 to 1. If you had that many options, you would also be incredibly selective.

Plus, let's face it... as a general rule, we men aren't very good at presenting ourselves in a way that women respond to.

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By *ser123500Man
31 weeks ago

PETERBOROUGH

what’s that then ?

i’m crap on here but if a women gets in my company they are all good i come alive lol

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By *ellafella66Man
31 weeks ago

strange town

I feel you pain brother yes I'm getting the exact same problem! It's like you're going to a gun figth with a knife. Don't stand a fuckin chance. If your face don't fit etc etc good pal we'll Nedd it lol

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By *haveanicevoiceMan
31 weeks ago

Soggy Middle-Earth (Cumbria)

I made my profile and I'm sticking with it, open to suggestions and what not but end of the day it's better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you aren't.

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By *ucka39Man
31 weeks ago

Newcastle

Change your tactics

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By *izzibeth9Couple
31 weeks ago

Loughborough

From OPs decent status it looks like he's still not got much further..

Just wanted to say to all of the guys saying 'what do women generally want' that I'm afraid it isn't as easy as figuring out what one of us likes and the rest follow suit...rather than think of us as 'women' as a collective how about understanding that we are all different? Some of us like a dick pic or two, some of us don't. Some of us prefer a long winded message, some of us don't.

To be honest, personally I am not constantly looking for people to play with. I dip in and out of the scene depending on my vanilla life and how I feel in general so there is every chance that you could send me a message one week which I'm not interested in, but the next week I could be.

My point is, it's not something you can control - just try and be yourselves, show a little bit of personality, don't be super keen on hot and heavy stuff, yes it's a site for hook ups but some people like to get to know someone first, it doesn't mean marriage is on their mind!

The absolute best advice is always go to clubs - the singles guys that I know are successful on here are all guys who are regulars or semi regulars at clubs. That doesn't mean you're always going to get laid at a club, but your chances are much higher than sending massive messages on fab, and you can pick and choose an event that may suit you.

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By *DW1983Man
31 weeks ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

" The absolute best advice is always go to clubs - the singles guys that I know are successful on here are all guys who are regulars or semi regulars at clubs. That doesn't mean you're always going to get laid at a club, but your chances are much higher than sending massive messages on fab, and you can pick and choose an event that may suit you. "

Yep, good advice here. My success rate on here is somewhere round about 0.0%. My success rate at clubs isn't 100%, or anywhere near, but it's a lot higher than zero. Maybe it doesn't help on here or in clubs that I'm pretty picky about who I play with, which probably lowers my chances. Probably 40-50% of my club visits result in some kind of play, though it seems to have been much less recently. Other nights are 'successful' in terms of chatting, playing pool, enjoying the jaccuzzi, and such like.

But you do need to have a strong 'expect nothing' mindset and be prepared to go with the flow. I've had some (thankfully not many) horrendous nights where I've ended up sat by myself all night, not been able to start a decent conversation, gotten nowhere... It could easily become quite depressing if you let it. But those nights are a minority, and generally being there, as a real person, with real personality, is the best way to get anywhere. On here, you're just another profile. It might be a nice one, but it's just a profile.

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By *layfullsamMan
31 weeks ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 17/04/24 18:48:11]

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By *unchalMan
31 weeks ago

Dartford

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

No. Widen your horizons. The men who like men on here have a great time. Once you work out how to avoid the wasters, of course.

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By *unchalMan
31 weeks ago

Dartford

"I’m on here as a genuine single man, but I’m finding it very difficult to get replies from people, does anyone else have this same problem or is it just me? "

You’ve blocked all the good stuff!

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