FabSwingers.com forum: A question for post Menopausal women

By *ncutgem OP Man
over a year ago

Bath ish

A mature lady I know who looks absolutely sensational lacks confidence due to her age and how her body changing. She finds penetration extreamly painful even a finger is very dificult and even dreads cervical tests. Her intimate skin is smooth and lacks wrinkles She has been to the Doc and has tried estrogen cream. I am desperate to help her confidence so advice from you sexy older ladies please and it would be nice if any idiots who seem to feel the need to make nasty or silly comments just think for a moment and refrain just this once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HRT will help with libido, apparently (according to Davina). She just needs to go back to the docs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just re-read your message… does lube not cure the problem? What did the doctor say about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's one of the worst things about menopause, and there are many, many bad things. Intimacy can become painful, the vagina can contract and shorten, issues caused by episiotomy can worsen as the tissue in the area thins and weakens, resulting in cracks, tearing and bleeding during penetration. Oestrogen cream is something that has to be used consistently - probably daily initially then three times a week (as instructed by medical professional). Dilators may be recommended to stretch the vagina gradually. If she has not already done so, I would suggest your friend see a gynaecologist specialising in menopausal issues.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What outcome is she hoping for?

Does she feel sexual desire?

Is she definitely suffering from post menopause or is it something else such as lichen sclerosis (I think that's what it's called). Doctors dish out estrogen cream like sweeties nowadays and it could well be what helps her but if even a finger inserted hurts how on earth does the poor woman get it in? Also how often has she been advised to apply it?

Also I recommend a book

'Me and My Menopausal Vagina' by Jane Lewis it's a fairly scary but also hopeful read in that she'll realise she's not alone and that things could be much worse...MUCH worse.

I think too that if she and her partner agree to stop attempting penetration until she's seen a doctor again and got a further plan of action it might remove some of the worry.

Intimacy, closeness, discussion, understanding,lots of lovely non penetrative sexual activity will all help too. I guess she's feeling very alone and despondent, it can make you feel that you're letting your partner down.

Good luck.

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By *ncutgem OP Man
over a year ago

Bath ish

Thanks for the helpful comments - Yes she has desire for penetration and need to be 'loved' She is well lubricated and has the desire - I am wondering if lichen planus ?may be the issue - It will help to know she is not alone

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By *illanelleWoman
over a year ago

Ryde, Isle of Wight

Surgical menopause at 38. I use replens for internal moisture, oestrogen pessaries for vaginal atrophy and various unguents to moisturise my vulva. I'm on hrt (topical gel) and was also using a topically applied testosterone gel, which I found extremely helpful but had to discontinue due to complications.

If you're friend is practising good intimate hygiene and husbandry and is still experiencing pain/discomfort then she should definitely speak to her GP. Lichen sclerosus can be treated and can lead to serious problems if ignored.

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