FabSwingers.com forum: Must be doing something wrong

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All I get is deleted messages! I know there are loads of single men and it's hard out there. Maybe I am just too fat and ugly?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe that negative attitude just washes through into your messaging style ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that's a negative right there. You might have said, "you could be right, how can I improve it?".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try a bit of humor and leave out the sex stuff in a first message and always read someones profile all the way through before messaging too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I never mention sex stuff to start with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Positivity and confidence go a long way.

There will be guys better looking than both you (and I) on here, but dwelling on their plus points and your shortfalls merely draws attention away from you.

People are here for fun and frolics and whilst you may be offered re-assurances in the Forums, if you are mailing directly for meets, people want to know they are gonna have fun not spend 2/3 hours counselling or re-assuring you.

Where's the fun in that ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well that's a negative right there. You might have said, "you could be right, how can I improve it?"."

I don't believe he is right so why would I ask him how to improve it?

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I will say to you what I have said in previous similar posts, from guys wondering where they are going wrong???

There are hundreds of single guys out there; you admit it in your Profile but that is a mistake - it comes across so negatively and will be off-putting to some people, so ditch it!

You have to "sell yourself!"; there's no better or nicer way to say it! You do list what you are seeking, fair enough, but it is just a series of one/two lines for each, BUT ... you begin each one with the letter "I" . Another classic error, which puts people off - alter the text set-up to avoid this.

Lastly, it comes down to being patient; you have only been on here for 3 months and sad to say, it takes time. Be more positive and less negative.

Good Luck!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

ok so you have no interest in what guys have said. maybe youll take some advice from one of the very people you are trying to get a meet with.

firstly the guys are SPOT ON about your negative attitude . you may not intend it to come across that way but your opening post here does come across as negative and feeling sorry for yourself . neither traits id want in any meet .

yes there loads of guys on here but guess what plenty get meets !! so ask your self seriously are you showing yourself in the best light ? re vamp your profile to get across your personality and capture peoples attention.use chat rooms and forms to get yourself know,but be awear its for posative reasons not for negative ones .look at clubs and the site socials and go to ones near you . you get out of this what you put in . most importantly if you come on forum and ask advice you will get varied responses ,take from it what you find of use and disregard the rest . dont however ask for advice and then throw it back in peoples faces ...again not a trait id want in a meet or exspect from someone who says they are mature.

have patience and all best on the site

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"All I get is deleted messages! I know there are loads of single men and it's hard out there. Maybe I am just too fat and ugly?!!"

Possibly

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"All I get is deleted messages! I know there are loads of single men and it's hard out there. Maybe I am just too fat and ugly?!!

Possibly

sam ur being naughty again ,bend over ur getting your behind slapped till you learn your lesson hehe x

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

We're wasting our time!

The OP departed 30 minutes ago! He obviously couldn't cope with all the advice we supplied him!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"All I get is deleted messages! I know there are loads of single men and it's hard out there. Maybe I am just too fat and ugly?!!

Possibly

sam ur being naughty again ,bend over ur getting your behind slapped till you learn your lesson hehe x"
tut tut i thought we were innocent untill proven guilty

However the thought of you spanking me does have some appeal x

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"All I get is deleted messages! I know there are loads of single men and it's hard out there. Maybe I am just too fat and ugly?!!

Possibly

sam ur being naughty again ,bend over ur getting your behind slapped till you learn your lesson hehe x tut tut i thought we were innocent untill proven guilty

However the thought of you spanking me does have some appeal x"

no innocent till i get my hands on you ...pmsl x

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"All I get is deleted messages! I know there are loads of single men and it's hard out there. Maybe I am just too fat and ugly?!!

Possibly

sam ur being naughty again ,bend over ur getting your behind slapped till you learn your lesson hehe x tut tut i thought we were innocent untill proven guilty

However the thought of you spanking me does have some appeal x

no innocent till i get my hands on you ...pmsl x"

omg have i pulled ? he he

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just took a look at your profile OP & from a female's point of view, the first chunk of text is very off putting. Everyone knows single men sometimes find it hard to get meets. Strangely enough, it's not always the Adonis like creatures who get to play every weekend - you'd be surprised how many fat & ugly guys get regular fun - because they have a mature & attractive personality, don't whine & whinge AND make the effort to get out and about.

Never mind the fact that asking an opinion on an open forum and disagreeing with any helpful response made..... I'd best not say any more!

Mrs GT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're wasting our time!

The OP departed 30 minutes ago! He obviously couldn't cope with all the advice we supplied him!

Phew! I thought you meant that and I'd wasted my time trying to be helpful!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"We're wasting our time!

The OP departed 30 minutes ago! He obviously couldn't cope with all the advice we supplied him!

Phew! I thought you meant that and I'd wasted my time trying to be helpful!"
i am awaiting the smart answers on his return

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Cant beleive i have wasted 2 precious minutes of my life reading his profile before reading all his reactions here....Nexttttttttttttttttttttt

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"We're wasting our time!

The OP departed 30 minutes ago! He obviously couldn't cope with all the advice we supplied him!

Phew! I thought you meant that and I'd wasted my time trying to be helpful! i am awaiting the smart answers on his return"

Yeah!

He'll probably tell us we're all wrong and he's right!

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Well your status isn't exactly endearing. On FaceBook that may make sense, on here, it just sounds like your a selfish sod that is going to fuck and run.

You acknowledge on your profile that you need to stand out. And then go on to create a bland generic profile that could belong to any one of 100's of single men on here.

If you don't think you are much of a looker, then wow us with your personality. Just don't focus on negatives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree that u profile needs to be looked at, i was bored after the first few lines, makes me wanna say blah blah blah, boring, on to the next one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi all - having read all of the above I'd welcome any suggestions for fine-tuning (or knocking down and completely rebuilding!) my own profile.... and I can promise I'm a lot more open to suggestions than the OP! I'd particularly welcome any reaction from ladies as to how they think I come across, as they're obviously my target audience... please, feel free to critique any and all aspects and suggest anything you like, all contributions gratefully received - thanks! xx john

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By *punkyhelmet5Man
over a year ago

Weston-super-mare

women love humour mate go into chat rooms and make people laugh without being a prick or that will piss them off. Ive made some really great friends in chat rooms and it gets you noticed

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"I am fat, ugly, boring, rude and I have an attitude problem. If you like that I am the man four you."...that must be the best profile the OP could come with...Thanks for reading us and viewing our profiles....But still not saying anything here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Far too negative, I prefer smiley happy people with a positive outlook

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

And he is replying in private with some not really nice messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's a lie and you know it.

Thanks for the advice. I am not cut out for all this swinging lark. Too much hassle.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Very negative vibe from the profile,would really make me delete any messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's a lie and you know it.

Thanks for the advice. I am not cut out for all this swinging lark. Too much hassle. "

Negativity breeds negativity.

Which is why you are perhaps finding it harder than it needs to be.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"That's a lie and you know it.

Thanks for the advice. I am not cut out for all this swinging lark. Too much hassle. "

For me swinging is as much about attitude as sex....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He replyed to me in private as well. Our profile mite not be WOW to u but we hav had meets, had fun an we get messages so put that in ur pipe an smoke it

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

it very much reminds me of toys and prams and stuff being thrown...

what makes a person is how they ask for advice and how they then deal and process the information and react accordingly

there are basically 2 threads of the same sort going on at the mo... and they went in two different direction

you can go off in a sulk... or you can man up and take in the good and the bad and do something about it!!!

if sulk is the option... no one can help you!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it very much reminds me of toys and prams and stuff being thrown...

what makes a person is how they ask for advice and how they then deal and process the information and react accordingly

there are basically 2 threads of the same sort going on at the mo... and they went in two different direction

you can go off in a sulk... or you can man up and take in the good and the bad and do something about it!!!

if sulk is the option... no one can help you!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fuck the lot of you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can lead a horse to water ..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck the lot of you"

Oh dear...

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I dont even know if i should smile or feel sorry for him...HE IS GONE

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By *essesCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

"Fuck the lot of you"

Ahhhh but there lies the problem!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

so the sulk option it was then...... oh well, you can't help everyone....

and onto the next one........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that was only a matter of time. He had a dreadful attitude from the moment he joined.

Kudos to everyone who tried to help him in the face of such resistance and petulance. You're better people than I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh he's gone

I've just cleared my diary and cut my toe nails so I could meet him tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh he's gone

I've just cleared my diary and cut my toe nails so I could meet him tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He replyed to me in private as well. Our profile mite not be WOW to u but we hav had meets, had fun an we get messages so put that in ur pipe an smoke it

Not sure what he said to you, but you're too modest - your profile pics DO look pretty WOW to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck the lot of you"

Thats exactly what everyone else is actually getting

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By *irty RascalMan
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield

It was probably the right thing for him to do in the end and well done to all those who tried to help him from the start. Shame about the one or two who couldn't wait to put him down.

There are a lot of good people on here, men and women who may need some advice on how to improve their profile and how to start out in a swingers world, so it would be better if the smug f*@kers left them alone. Everyone started out somewhere.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

no one was abusive it was all banter, lifes tough out in the real world and if he had replied to the banter with a soh it soon breaks the ice and wins people over.

Ive always been of the opinion if you want something bad enough you dont give up at the first obstacle

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Oh he's gone

I've just cleared my diary and cut my toe nails so I could meet him tonight

"
Can i be rude and get a meet???

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Oh he's gone

I've just cleared my diary and cut my toe nails so I could meet him tonight

Can i be rude and get a meet???

"
only if you start a am i fat and ugly thread

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Oh he's gone

I've just cleared my diary and cut my toe nails so I could meet him tonight

Can i be rude and get a meet???

only if you start a am i fat and ugly thread"
Holly crap...i am doing it right now...

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Damn that was quick .. only just found this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as someone who is more than happy to offer advise to these folk on tarting up their profiles, I must admit that part of me gets a perverse kick out of watching someone do the forum version of a toddler rolling in their own shit all the while screaming because they are filthy!

I'd rather they took the advise and started getting meets though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is though, if you give someone that bad, advice, you are storing up trouble. If someone such as the OP really cannot see why he is an unreasonable prick, would you really want to meet him? If he thinks a bit of help is criticism, then he sounds very arrogant. Some guys on here seem to think that they are going to be meeting people regularly after a couple of days. It's a simple concept that some blokes cannot seem to fathom. You have to come across pretty much as you would in a normal setting. Be honest, in a pub or club who would have been impressed by the OP? He would more than likely have been thrown out for starting a fight!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is though, if you give someone that bad, advice, you are storing up trouble. If someone such as the OP really cannot see why he is an unreasonable prick, would you really want to meet him? If he thinks a bit of help is criticism, then he sounds very arrogant. Some guys on here seem to think that they are going to be meeting people regularly after a couple of days. It's a simple concept that some blokes cannot seem to fathom. You have to come across pretty much as you would in a normal setting. Be honest, in a pub or club who would have been impressed by the OP? He would more than likely have been thrown out for starting a fight!"

From his other posts he came across as having low self esteem and being angry at his lot.

I think he'd decided his lack of success was down to other people being unfairly judgmental and kept posting trying to change the behaviour of others, ( I recall a very bitter "don't judge a book by its cover" thread he started), rather than accepting he was the problem and could do something to change things.

Maybe that is arrogant, wanting to blame others and modify their behaviour (or perceived behaviour). I think he is actually in denial though and very mixed up. I'm not sure arrogant is an accurate descriptor.

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