FabSwingers.com forum: Bored at a club

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's happened a couple of times now. We get to a club and the vibe isn't quite right - not enough play or dancing. No one really catches our eye and we end up playing on our own until people talking loudly about random stuff in the play area put us off.

Last night was a bit of a disappointment and we ended up leaving after two hours. We're starting to think this whole thing isn't really for us. Either that or we need to try some different clubs, or do party invites only.

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some clubs can be shit. They are simply low rent dives - Some clubs are great. Even the great ones are not always up to the vibe as it depends on the evening/event and pot luck of who attends.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Yes, it's very off putting people talking randon shit at volume. One women the other night annonced she wasn't doing Bj's as she had a sore throat. Along with " have you got a condom", Several times over. Killed the vibe, so we moved room.

It's not the club it's the people in the club that make it.

If like us you have a travel, hotels ect it can put a downer on it. However we like you enjoy it even if it just ends up with 'just us'. Maybe take a back seat for a while. Mix it up with a doggin, 1on1, hotel meet ect.

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By *lfasoCouple
over a year ago

South East

We always go to clubs with the expectation that we won’t meet a playmate but if we do it’s a bonus. We still have a great time, dressed to impress and flirt with anyone and everyone.

We really fancy each other by the end of the evening

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

It definitely is about the people and what kind of night you go. Plus all clubs are very different as someone else mentioned.

We like the club environment and are happy if the vibe isn't right and it's just us.

Good luck on your journey OP x

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

I hate it when people are talking in the play rooms. But we're also guilty of it. It's easy to get carried away when chatting

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Had you been before

Everywhere can have an off night in the sane way they can have a occasional fantastic night

Easter can be a funny time to visit clubs as many may not attend as they are visiting families etc

Don't let one bad night at a particular venue out you off

But I also know what you mean by trying different venues and never quite feeling it, we then take time away from clubs and tend to do meets at home for a few months but we always get drawn back into clubs

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

In a open play area in a club and a lady outside started banging on about eastenders and Coronation street, a running commentary.

Sadly, I could feel the effect it had on Paul, so it was up and back to the bar.

Maybe soaps turn her own.

Maybe don't talk dirty, tell me what happened in Corrie.

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

"It's happened a couple of times now. We get to a club and the vibe isn't quite right - not enough play or dancing. No one really catches our eye and we end up playing on our own until people talking loudly about random stuff in the play area put us off.

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "

Seems a lot of clubs are clique in our experience, Bones loves a dance but not many dancers about sadly

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By *woforfun 1000Couple
over a year ago

surrey

We have found clubs had a much sexier vibe pre covid and play has def reduced as people seem to be being more careful.

We find events are usually pretty busy and fun nights like greedy girl nights and places like va for fierce femmes the dance floor is heaving and lots of play in the open areas! I’ve heard penthouse playrooms is great for dancing and lots of play but we are yet to be able to make a visit hoping so in the future!

I agree it’s so much better when lots of play is happening and less likely to get chatter outside the playrooms nothing worse than playing and hearing people talk loudly about their lives outside the room does put a dampener on it esp as their are lounges to sit and chat in!

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I've never had a boring club night but then I go with no expectations. If the most I do is chat to someone then that's still a good night. I tend to mostly go to clubs with Jacuzzis and have often just spent most of my time in and out of them x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nah, we never go with any expectations. Doing otherwise is 100% the way to ruin a good night!

But, for example, last night we were playing with each other, and there were two couples leaning on some play equipment a metre from us, casually talking about the trapped nerves in their backs.... and that wasn't even the worst of it lol.

Penthouse is on our list as it looks quite classy. VA for a bi night too at some point. But I think a break is in order for us to figure out if we can get what we want without the use of clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some clubs can be shit. They are simply low rent dives - Some clubs are great. Even the great ones are not always up to the vibe as it depends on the evening/event and pot luck of who attends. "

Nothing worse than people chatting about shite while other people are fucking. Why can't they go back out to the bar area.

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

I always find it strange when people feel the need to talk at the top of their voices when sitting next to each other! Just sod of elsewhere and let us get on with playing.

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By *inTonic2018Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We went to a club in Barcelona a few years back. Everyone was speaking Spanish, so if they were talking about soaps, made no difference to us! We had a blast.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I nicknamed myself ‘Cinderella’ because I rarely made it past midnight in a swinger club

It’s much easier to be ignored/excluded as a single guy, no matter how ‘friendly and welcoming’ a club purports itself to be, and you can tell within the first 30-40 minutes how a night is going to go.

If you can have a sauna and dip in a hottub, then fair enough, but I can play pool in my local. Best to cut and run and catch last orders somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s worth trying a different club and maybe looking out for an event they are usually pretty good and well organised

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By *ebootCouple
over a year ago

Telford

"We always go to clubs with the expectation that we won’t meet a playmate but if we do it’s a bonus. We still have a great time, dressed to impress and flirt with anyone and everyone.

We really fancy each other by the end of the evening

This

We always go with no expectations.

I’m fact, having no expectations on the whole scene is a good ethos to have.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "

Oh no what a shame !

What club did you go to ?

Did you go with friends or just yourselves ?

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum

I been to a fare few and yes different clubs or different nights do have different vibes but I've never been bored or hand a bad night so far (touchwood) It is what you make of it really. But if it's not doing it for you maybe it's time to take a break and try something else.

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "
We know exactly what you mean.Start the evening full of anticipation only to end up disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh no what a shame !

What club did you go to ?

Did you go with friends or just yourselves ? "

Probably best not to name it as lots of people have a great time there, it just wasn't for us this time.

Funnily enough we often go with some good friends, but they couldn't make it. We're quite shy on approaching people so that may have played a part.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Oh no what a shame !

What club did you go to ?

Did you go with friends or just yourselves ?

Probably best not to name it as lots of people have a great time there, it just wasn't for us this time.

Funnily enough we often go with some good friends, but they couldn't make it. We're quite shy on approaching people so that may have played a part."

It's good to talk

and talking doesn't necessarily have to lead to anything.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Oh no what a shame !

What club did you go to ?

Did you go with friends or just yourselves ?

Probably best not to name it as lots of people have a great time there, it just wasn't for us this time.

Funnily enough we often go with some good friends, but they couldn't make it. We're quite shy on approaching people so that may have played a part."

Having been to many many club nights over the years I am going to say that vectoring to a club on your own (couple) can be a completely different experience than with a few friends

Have had some very disappointing club nights too

I know you don’t want to say what club you was at but I was at a club last night and the atmosphere was amazing , full of sexy people too

Don’t lose heart with going to clubs just try to pick a theme or night that you might find suits better for you

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

We've only really enjoyed a club when going with freinds as we find it's hit or miss with other attendees.

Whilst we dont dislike clubs they are not really us either. A small party would be better for us but easier said than done these days. Just how it is i guess. Clubs are not for everyone but you can make them work on the right occasions.

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By *ohnOvManchesterMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I think it’s because it comes a social thing for the regulars. We’ve found the same sometimes when I’ve been with my +1 as we only really went to play, it was less about getting to know people and more about getting them naked haha. We’d agreed getting to know people wasn’t really the objective for us. Fair enough for the people who like the social side though, not knocking it for them.

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By *rafficvanMan
over a year ago

Middletown

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "

Shame you look amazing also nice to see a women with little hair too

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By *rafficvanMan
over a year ago

Middletown

"Some clubs can be shit. They are simply low rent dives - Some clubs are great. Even the great ones are not always up to the vibe as it depends on the evening/event and pot luck of who attends. "
lovely arse

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Oh no what a shame !

What club did you go to ?

Did you go with friends or just yourselves ?

Probably best not to name it as lots of people have a great time there, it just wasn't for us this time.

Funnily enough we often go with some good friends, but they couldn't make it. We're quite shy on approaching people so that may have played a part."

It’s a slightly different perspective from me, as I’ve mostly visited clubs as a single guy, but I agree it’s easier to go to these places with friends. When I’ve been with a female friend, I find the atmosphere inside much more welcoming and friendly towards me.

Why be worried about naming the club you had a disappointing night in? It’s not like the place will fold the day after lol! You’re more likely to receive advice from others about particular nights and events which might suit you better.

I visited Club Play in Blackpool in December, for my first time, and it was a huge disappointment for me. All the reviews left by others stating what a friendly and welcoming club it is, all the supposedly great times people have there, and yet I left the place after a couple of hours, bored, like yourselves. Would I go there again? Probably, the place itself is nice enough, it was just the wrong night for me. I’ll go with a female friend though next time

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "

Firstly, come and join us at one of our parties..

But, we too have had experiences like that. On NYE, we were just starting to play and a loud couple came and announced that they were going to ‘sit here and see if we can join in’ they then tried engaging each of us in conversation. We were in full play at the time, one of the things they said was actually quite insulting to Becky which meant she didn’t feel like playing anymore that night.

Some people just have no boundaries or etiquette.

Sometimes though, the night just doesn’t have a buzz.

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

Sorry guys and gals. I can't be everywhere and anywhere all the time. You'll have to be patient

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By *elnkazCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

Yep. Get it quite a lot but also look at clubs as a great social and when we do get the vibe then we certainly make up for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "

Over the years, we've found that slowly but surely, couples in clubs tend to play among themselves with little interaction with others.

If you can find a small hotel that's in the swing scene with a play room, they tend to be different because it has more of an invited party feel to it

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

“Talking about random stuff in the play areas”. I can relate to that. A complete passion killer if you are playing in that area.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Yes, it's very off putting people talking randon shit at volume. One women the other night annonced she wasn't doing Bj's as she had a sore throat. Along with " have you got a condom", Several times over. Killed the vibe, so we moved room.

It's not the club it's the people in the club that make it.

I was playing with my friend in an open room once and had to listen to two couples, in the doorway, talking about their chickens!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Only once have we not had a great time at a club.

It was the first time, we were learning through a first experience and got back what we brought to the club, nothing.

Now, we bring energy to the fun of going to a club and have great times.

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By *iggstimpyCouple
over a year ago

South East

This could have been written by us! We’ve done a number of club nights and often end up playing alone and have felt those playing around us weren’t after the same sort of sensual organic experience we were. They just seemed to want to fuck their mates they already knew and chat about the price of petrol

)

We’ve pretty much decided to leave clubs as a fun night out with zero expectations beyond playing together and look to meeting a cool couple for anything more outside that world.

Oh, and love your profile wording

))) and sent you a message

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We always go to a club with no expectations that way if something does happen it is a bonus. It is the people that make a club and its atmosphere not the other way round. We have had some brilliant nights in clubs without having ever left the bar/social area.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Reason I stopped going to clubs. As a single guy being ignored no matter how friendly I try to be got too much. Particularly at the prices they charge to get in.

Greedy girl nights are OK as people are looking for guys, but clubs are exploiting these by increasing the price for men.

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By *exyusMan
over a year ago

halifax

Yes amazing how many people spend most night in hot tub and play pool then quick half hour play then leave!

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple
over a year ago

here & there

It’s the people that make the club, not the club itself.

We’ve had good nights & bad nights almost everywhere we’ve been.

It’s a night out, if it’s awesome then bonus!

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

"It’s the people that make the club, not the club itself.

We’ve had good nights & bad nights almost everywhere we’ve been.

It’s a night out, if it’s awesome then bonus! "

Same for us, been to some nights and thought it would be rubbish and it turned out to be amazing.

The whole talking loudly about random stuff in the play areas is just bad manners. We don’t mind a bit of laughing and joking though

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We've had anticlimactic nights, more than boring ones. Either we've gotten all excited for a heaving club and it's been dead or we've got there and just not felt in the mood so much.

People talking loudly is such an atmosphere killer! We were having a very sensual time with another couple once in a couples room. It was all dark and moody - really atmospheric. Then two 50something guys wearing towels belly up to the doorway, watch us playing and have a loud chat about the latest sales figures. One of them then reaches into the room and flips the light on so they can see better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably why I haven't been to an event this year. No engagement, nothing really going on. Sometimes going in with zero expectations can lead to disappointment because you have wasted your time and money.

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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

I wouldn’t mind a club that has a rave vibe to it; that way I’m able to enjoy music, dance a bit and enjoy the night even if I’m nowhere near the play rooms.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

OP you know enough about the scene and you know that variety is the spice of life. The other posters have given you as much advice I as I would.

Personally I think it is bad etiquette if individuals and couple are blabbing shite in a play area. That's why there is a social area. Play is for play!!! Simples.

Only thing I'd add is that you make your own entertainment. Fuck the others!!

I've been to events where the mood is dire... didn't stop myself and partners opening up and doing our thing... might have even helped the party along a bit

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Brilliant sex when we got home, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Anyways, no real point of this post, just having a moan. "

It all depends on the people there and your own mood in my experience , rather than the club. I’ve been as a couple many times and felt just like you, but been back to the same club and had a great time too.

Sometimes you’re just in a mood where you’ll talk to anyone , other times no one looks attractive or it feels clicky. Going to a club where you don’t know anyone around the bar can be hit and miss even if the atmosphere is great you might just not connect with anyone and end up wandering around bored.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

" Then two 50something guys wearing towels ..."

How offputting that people over 50 are allowed into clubs

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By *rattyPrincessWoman
over a year ago

hemel hempstead

I think it depends on who u go with and what you want to happen. I’ve been socially with a female friend and we just catch up, party, drink and chat. Always a great night regardless of club.

Been with a play partner and as long as we get a chance to play together nothing else matters as we still enjoy ourselves. We can chat to others, play in the dungeon alone, even just snuggles in a playroom together.

I use it as an escape from reality where I can just leave all my worries behind and enjoy some one to one time or some social chats with people who are open minded. I’ve made so many friends along the way.

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Some clubs can be shit. They are simply low rent dives - Some clubs are great. Even the great ones are not always up to the vibe as it depends on the evening/event and pot luck of who attends. "

I think we’ve been to all the shit ones. The wanking dead following us around. Not sure we’ll bother again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It varies I guess with who is in it does help when you are a regular and you get to know many people

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By *artan811Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in scotland

"We always go to clubs with the expectation that we won’t meet a playmate but if we do it’s a bonus. We still have a great time, dressed to impress and flirt with anyone and everyone.

We really fancy each other by the end of the evening

That sounds like great advice

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