FabSwingers.com forum: Hard work, low reward

By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

I thought I'd put this question to the girls on the site, what makes you pay attention to some messages over others? I can understand that I'm not to everyone's interest (though I'd prefer to be told) but when I match peoples requirements to the letter and still get ignored I feel like there must be something definable that I'm unwittingly doing wrong.

Every message I send is unique and polite and I'm always honest since there's little point lying to someone your hoping to meet. Is there some unwritten rule I'm not aware of or am I just that unlucky?

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By *wanzMan
over a year ago

Swansea

no - you are just playing the single man handicap ... many of us are cursed with it - there is no cure - you just gotta keep on running ...

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

This site is populated by I _think_ around 75% single males.

To be a couple or female who allows single guys to message you or meets them means your inbox will be filled on a daily basis with tonns of messages, most of which havent even bothered to read your profile or look at what you're after.

After a while of this you get fed up and for most people flat out don't have the time to respond to every single message or get quite apathetic towards single guys in general.

Plus you're young and if there is one section of the site that struggles the most its under 25 single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like Miss BlackCherry said ^^ it's all about supply and demand and there is a massive surplus of young males (some of whom become pests by sheer numbers). Perseverance and a thick skin is what is needed until you get verifications which will hopefully lead to more meets in the future.

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

I get that I'm vying for attention in a sea of other guys doing the same but this is kind of where I get to be a little big headed and out perform the average man. I've got the size and stamina alot of girls are complaining they don't see enough of. I understand it'd be annoying to get tons of messages daily but if you don't look through the rocks you don't find the diamonds (that probably sounded very cocky) and if you don't try then whats the point of getting messages from single guys at all.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I don't know what "girls" are purely after size and stamina to us and well Mrs C attraction and being able to hold a conversation are more important than Mr Ed turning up and banging away at her for 3 hours.

Also, and its just our opinion here we dont think a session needs to last hours to be good we arent looking for 6 hour marathon shags.

In essence what im saying is even though you think you are head and shoulders above many on the site your appeal is less than you might think as we all arent after porn stars banging away for 3 hours ;p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been said before and I'm sure that it will be said again......try clubs and socials and that way you will build up a network of 'friends'

Then if you contact someone you may end up with mutual friends in common which will give you a distinct advantage

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

Regretted that post as soon as I sent it off, too easy to misinterpret. I'm well aware that talking and foreplay are just as important and though I've never been found lacking in those either I wasn't sure which to lead with, obvious mistake when I look back. I'm not usually big headed but its something I've got talent in and I don't see why I shouldn't be proud of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Regretted that post as soon as I sent it off, too easy to misinterpret. I'm well aware that talking and foreplay are just as important and though I've never been found lacking in those either I wasn't sure which to lead with, obvious mistake when I look back. I'm not usually big headed but its something I've got talent in and I don't see why I shouldn't be proud of it. "

writing messages is just one piece of the big jigsaw..... and if that is all you are relying on then you are mission on a lot of different oppotunities out there....

as the person above me said..... Clubs... Socials.... they do present different oppotunities out there! and do give you other ways of extending the social networks......

i'll give you an example.... local social... loads of men said "i'll come!!"..... but when they worked out that social wasn't a codeword for orgy, and that social meant social and talking and getting to know people in social surroundings..... result... not many went! put them on one hand....

so all those guys who did have stood out... and then get the chance to know people and stand out even further....

its as much about showing people that you are different to others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok. You state you prefer women your own age but you range goes to 45 and your veri is from a couple bordering 60.

People generally read things into pork file content and if the words don't match the reality it can get a little confusing and mean they move on to a profile a little more to their taste.

Mentioning size will rarely impress! Those looking for size will normally be able to tell from pics and will always be doubtful about specific measurements quoted. And a number can work against you as it appears that this is your best asset - rather than your personality.

There's plenty of folk out there looking for guys your age - many younger couples cap their 'wants' at 35 - which caused me a few problems the day I turned 36! I could have 'adjusted' my age - but did I ?

No - I chose to continue on as always and not dwell on those that although I still felt I matched, I could no longer message - and focus on the positives!

If there's something stopping someone's messages getting a reply - it's often not the message - but the portrayal of that person in their profile! A serious 'fugly' could send the most appealing message in the world - but would it actually get a reply? Likewise, some that are just turned on by body image will reply to crass and one liner messages just because the sender is attractive to them!

The joy of Fab? Everyone's different!!

Good luck!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think its a mistake a lot of guys make so you aren't alone. I can only speak for myself but I really don't think of penetration as the main event which is how you refer to it and is a bit of a give away as to your attitude and as someone else has said the thought of a guy turning up and just getting through the foreplay bit until he can saw away at me for ages puts me right off. Women want to be pleased of course, but maybe not always in the way that men think they do. You would be better in my opinion to state in your profile that you have those talents that you mention but that you really want to use everything you have to please the women that you meet as part of the whole experience.

I get what you're trying to say in your profile though and wish you good luck

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

There's a pretty obvious difference between what I prefer and what I'm ok with. I'm not shallow and I don't block people off because of age, I just obviously would rather meet people my age. It does seem everything I could possibly say can and will be turned back on me. I'm proud of my size and I don't see why I shouldn't put my positive points out there so people who are interested in it know, lets face it people need to mention every positive they can just to stand out from the crowd.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There's a pretty obvious difference between what I prefer and what I'm ok with. I'm not shallow and I don't block people off because of age, I just obviously would rather meet people my age. It does seem everything I could possibly say can and will be turned back on me. I'm proud of my size and I don't see why I shouldn't put my positive points out there so people who are interested in it know, lets face it people need to mention every positive they can just to stand out from the crowd. "

People are trying to give you advice which is what you asked for, your prerogative of course if you take it or not. There is no reason not to be proud of your size but we are trying to make you aware that not everyone is interested in size

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

I get what you're trying to say in your profile though and wish you good luck

That isn't what I said, I didn't say anything about skipping foreplay or just ignoring everything else in favor of constant repetitive sex. I'm a pleaser in bed so I work hard to ensure who I'm with is happy and I'm pretty sure I mentioned that in my profile. It is looking like there's nothing I can say that won't be taken in completely the wrong way and used against me.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I get that I'm vying for attention in a sea of other guys doing the same but this is kind of where I get to be a little big headed and out perform the average man. I've got the size and stamina alot of girls are complaining they don't see enough of. I understand it'd be annoying to get tons of messages daily but if you don't look through the rocks you don't find the diamonds (that probably sounded very cocky) and if you don't try then whats the point of getting messages from single guys at all. "

okay.... if that is the way you feel about yourself... quick question

where does that lot (stamina and big cock) help you in a social situation???

the answer is that it doesn't.....

you are looking at the end situation which you may or may not get to..... but for a lot of people there may be a lot of hurdles people pass before they even get to that stage of saying "lets play"!

socials.. definately!!

clubs.... a bit less, but normally you still have to talk to people as opposed to being a mute.....

you sound as if it all about the end product and less about the journey......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I get what you're trying to say in your profile though and wish you good luck

Maybe this is giving you an idea of how your profile comes across. However if you choose not to take comments in the spirit they are meant that is your prerogative as I say.

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

Again I'm not against social, I don't get why you think being proud of my size makes it my only asset. I get that people can and will misinterpret what I say but I am here for advice on what to do with it not for people just to point out whats wrong with it. I appreciate the help but its proving more frustrating than helpful for me.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Again I'm not against social, I don't get why you think being proud of my size makes it my only asset. I get that people can and will misinterpret what I say but I am here for advice on what to do with it not for people just to point out whats wrong with it. I appreciate the help but its proving more frustrating than helpful for me."

probably because it is the only thing you actually talk about in both this thread.... and your profile......

so let me try and put it straight....

for "some" people.... swinging is more than just cock and stamina!!!!!

thats what people are trying to tell you... and it looks as if it is going in one ear... and out the other.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps try a different approach?

Just checked your profile again and you must be the one single guy on site that quotes his size to the inch yet doesn't back it up with a pic. Whilst endless cock shots never go down well, you show your face - so one of your pride and joy may work for you - and assure those interested in size that you're genuine in your claims!

If your profile is not working for you - adapt and evolve - but ensure you stay honest and true to yourself and personality!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Right, this profile review is intended as helpful, and in no way as a criticism against you personally:

Your first line is that you prefer women your own age. Thats fine and dandy, but will put off any women over your age, as they know from the first line they are not what you are looking for.

The first line in your second paragraph is about the length of yoru cock. There are women out there who love a big 'un (like me!) but not too big it feels like our tonsils are being pushed out. We also don't need to know you can go for ages, as (as someone stated above) that can be boring and painful. Women want men who are good all-rounders - fingers, tongue AND cock, not just cock. And don't forget the biggest sexual organ of all. Your brain! Mention hands and tongue before you mention the cock. We like to be titillated.

Now this is a personal thing and probably doesn't apply to other women, but I would hate to have to discuss with a guy before we met what I enjoy the most. Sex is and should always be spontaneous. What works for one woman might turn me right off.

Your profile isn't bad, but there is something about it which is just 'off'. I think it is the fact you talk about yourself in it, with nothing much about what you are looking for, and what you would enjoy yourself. Do you want a 12 person gangbang? Rampant sex on a park bench? or a slow screw on the four-poster? It's a profile which doesn't seem to say much. Maybe have a look at mine? Although I am a girl so you might find it a bit 'frilly'

Apart from that, you have good pics and if I was nearer I'd be round.

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

Its a little rich to talk about me not paying attention when I've pointed out repeatedly that your misinterpreting everything I say. I talk about it because people have repeatedly brought it up after I mentioned it and I'm well aware that there's more to stamina which again I've said so many times its getting stupid.

As for the size I haven't quoted anything to the inch hence the word approximately and I'm not about to put pictures of it on the net, that's just not something I'm going to do. There's no point in lying about the size since any girl I met would find out I was lying.

Thanks Wyrd for a good approach to helping me out, I'm having a go at rewriting but written media has never been my best. If your ever in the area feel free to stop by and talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its a little rich to talk about me not paying attention when I've pointed out repeatedly that your misinterpreting everything I say. I talk about it because people have repeatedly brought it up after I mentioned it and I'm well aware that there's more to stamina which again I've said so many times its getting stupid.

Thanks Wyrd for a good approach to helping me out, I'm having a go at rewriting but written media has never been my best. If your ever in the area feel free to stop by and talk

I think you're misunderstanding the words 'misinterpret' - which is what you think those contributing are doing - and 'interpret' - which is what they are in fact doing, and what all do when reading a profile!

As others have said - it's your choice as to whether you take on feedback - but telling people they are wrong in their thoughts on a profile won't make the feedback change!

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I don't put everything I am looking for in my profile. So while you may think you completely match what I am looking for, and on paper you may be right, there is that one thing you don't match, hence why you don't get an answer. It isn't on my profile because I can't describe it, I just 'know' it!!! *The use of you is universal, and is not directed at anyone.*

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

What about hiding your face AND THEN putting a pic of your 'man glory', up??

If you're as big as you claim to be, the 'size queens' amongst the girls, WILL be interested in seeing it. You can then send a face pic over, when you get chatting.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"What about hiding your face AND THEN putting a pic of your 'man glory', up??

If you're as big as you claim to be, the 'size queens' amongst the girls, WILL be interested in seeing it. You can then send a face pic over, when you get chatting."

I like cock pics, some people don't. The problem with asking for advice in a forum is there will be conflicting opinions all the way, which just ends up in pissing people off.

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By *aulus1969ukMan
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

"I think you're misunderstanding the words 'misinterpret' - which is what you think those contributing are doing - and 'interpret' - which is what they are in fact doing, and what all do when reading a profile!

As others have said - it's your choice as to whether you take on feedback - but telling people they are wrong in their thoughts on a profile won't make the feedback change! "

Agreed, you are asking for opinions and feedback and you have been given it. No one on this forum will have a go at you for the sake of it, if they did they would get a proper slap on the wrist from admin most likely. It is advice and opinion. None of us are experts (probably offended some people now), we all started somewhere.

One important thing to try get across is you, your personality. Yes it's not easy in a written profile but have a think about it. Took me a while to get a profile I was ok with but I am still a tweeker. lol

The site here should not be hard work, it is here for fun. You have already met one couple who say they would love another meeting. All good there.

It will come good for you i'm sure.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

[Removed by poster at 27/10/12 12:02:13]

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"What about hiding your face AND THEN putting a pic of your 'man glory', up??

If you're as big as you claim to be, the 'size queens' amongst the girls, WILL be interested in seeing it. You can then send a face pic over, when you get chatting.

I like cock pics, some people don't. The problem with asking for advice in a forum is there will be conflicting opinions all the way, which just ends up in pissing people off."

Obviously.

But, can't see why my post would piss people off, excactly...??

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Obviously.

But, can't see why my message would piss people off, exactly...??

Not your message silly!

I've seen people post on here asking for profile advice and the first person will say 'you have a cock pic. Take it off cos people don't like them' and the second person will say 'not enough cock pics. Add more!' Multiply that by several people, add the fact that people will also disagree about other facets of the original posters profile, and by the end the poor sod will be wondering why they asked.

A profile should be what the person is happy with, not what other people are happy with. And it can be hard to take criticism however nicely its put. If the OP doesn't want to put a cock pic on then thats his decision. Its a shame cos I'd love to see it, but thats the way it is.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"Obviously.

But, can't see why my message would piss people off, exactly...??

Not your message silly!

I was close to putting you over my knee then, young lady...

I agree, it's like opening a can of worms, asking for advice on here.

I know it's 50/50 as to whether ladies like to see cock pics on here, but If I had a 10 incher, I know I'd be showing it in all it's glory, whatever anyone thought of it

But, it's the gentleman's prerogative, at the end of the day.

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

Updated, hopefully its an improvement.

As for the cock pic issue I'm just not keen, I'm proud of it but I don't hang out the window waving my achievements at random passers by. I admit its a subject I've gone back and forth on so I may put it in my private pictures but that feels like it defeats the purpose a little.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I was close to putting you over my knee then, young lady...

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I don't hang out the window waving my achievements at random passers by."

Now that I'd like to see!

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

"I don't hang out the window waving my achievements at random passers by.

Now that I'd like to see!"

There's plenty to hang but I only wave that in faces in private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile states that you don't need to grow up to do mature things. IMO, getting defensive when told how you profile reads to us and blaming us for "misinterpreting" it tells me all I need to know.

Your profile is your advertisement here. It's up to you to make sure it says what you need in a way others understand. Nobody is going to read it and if they don't like it, think "maybe I've misunderstood what he meant, I'll message him and ask". They'll move on.

Nobody is here to "use" anything "against you", were just telling you how you come across to us.

Your stated preference for women your age would put me off because I don't want anyone "making do" with me. Also your profile does come across as though having a big cock and being a talented lover are all you think you have going for you. I prefer intelligence, a sense of humour and a degree of self-assurance.

Your defensiveness here indicates you may be lacking in the latter.

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

If I'm honest anyone who uses the term 'tells me all I need to know' is someone I'm not interested in. Acting like you can understand someone that easily is going to backfire hard and I don't have time for it. I get defensive when people literary accuse me of things I haven't said for example 'making do'. I don't try to be specific about things like age since there are exceptions to every rule and I don't want to push people away without intending to. I admit my self assurance can take a blow especially when criticism gets out of hand and I never said or tried to implement that sex is all I've got since its far from it. I love to laugh and though a little encouragement helps I can stand up for myself but I wasn't sure if I was padding my profile a little too much (evidently not).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Telling us here what you mean won't help if it isn't how your profile reads.

For example, saying you prefer your own age group sounds like you are saying you'd be "making do" with anyone else. It may not be what you mean, but that's what it sounds like. I'm not the only person to say this.

There may be more to you than a big cock and being a gifted lover but if you don't make that clear, nobody will know.

We don't know what you mean, we only see what you say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm honest anyone who uses the term 'tells me all I need to know' is someone I'm not interested in. Acting like you can understand someone that easily is going to backfire hard and I don't have time for it."

The people taking the time to comment here are doing so because you asked for help.

I couldn't care less whether you'd be interested in me (if my profile weren't currently hidden - because I was getting too much interest - you'd see you're out of my specified age range) and your worldly wise assessment that my approach will "backfire badly" is way off the mark. Which of us is it that's asking for help here? Oh yes, not me.

Nobody is "accusing" you of anything. They're telling you how what you have written sounds to them. If they are misunderstanding, it's because you haven't been clear. I've yet to encounter anyone here who is telepathic.

Your attitude here is one of the reasons my specified age range starts at older than you are. That's, unfortunately, tarring all young men here with the same brush but it saves me a lot of petulant grief.

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

And I think I'm gonna leave it at that since the concepts of helpful or constructive seem to have been assassinated. Thanks to those of you who were helpful and understood that asking for help meant I wanted help not a list of failings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And I think I'm gonna leave it at that since the concepts of helpful or constructive seem to have been assassinated. Thanks to those of you who were helpful and understood that asking for help meant I wanted help not a list of failings."

"I feel like there must be something definable that I'm unwittingly doing wrong."

A quote from your original post!

There hav been many pointers as to individuals views as to what you're doing wrong - to which all they've had in response is that that are 'misinterpreting' what your original profile content contained. It's now changed, and in fact improved - but if you choose to ask for advice and feedback - you have to accept all that is written as everyone will have a different opinion.

No-one has been sarcastic or gotten personal - which is rare on these kinds of thread. Take on board what you will and ignore what you choose. The people that generally offer feedback are those that have been around a while, learnt, experienced and helped others. Doesn't make any of then right or wrong - but I'd always prefer to take feedback from those seeming to enjoy their 'Fab' life and get involved in the community rather than dismiss opinions because it wasn't what I was hoping to hear!

Good luck and hopefully things will improve for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh FFS!

We're not going to write your profile for you. You've been told the ways in which you are not presenting yourself well. It's up to you to change them to better reflect who YOU are and what YOU have to offer. We can't do that because we don't know you.

"This doesn't sound good and could be better" and "this sounds to me like..." ARE constructive criticisms. Nobody said "you're shit" or "you're ugly" or "your profile is pants" which would be unhelpful criticism.

You've been told exactly what doesn't sound good, what is off-putting and what else we'd want to see.

Now pick your toys up before someone trips over them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I also suspect that you were expecting a very different reaction to the one you got. A wise person would look at this and learn you never know you could end up being even more talented. Good luck

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I also suspect that you were expecting a very different reaction to the one you got. A wise person would look at this and learn you never know you could end up being even more talented. Good luck

To give the OP credit he did change his profile, and it reads a lot better, so I think he has learned soemthing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I also suspect that you were expecting a very different reaction to the one you got. A wise person would look at this and learn you never know you could end up being even more talented. Good luck

To give the OP credit he did change his profile, and it reads a lot better, so I think he has learned soemthing. "

Yep!

But has he sent you that cock pic yet???

Come on - spill!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I also suspect that you were expecting a very different reaction to the one you got. A wise person would look at this and learn you never know you could end up being even more talented. Good luck

To give the OP credit he did change his profile, and it reads a lot better, so I think he has learned soemthing. "

True

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

I've learned and as I said some of you have been alot of help. Others simply haven't. I don't know what I was expecting to get when I began this but it helped and that's enough.

And if Wyrd wants that pic she has to earn it, no freebies.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Well that's good. Be nice to see you in the forums and I love your tattoo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And if Wyrd wants that pic she has to earn it, no freebies."

Hahahahaha! Oh you are priceless!!

Come on Wyrd, you know you're desperate to see another cock photo! Best work hard to earn that privilege!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Presumably 'hard work' is sending messages and the 'reward' is a shag. So what would be reasonable?(and who should dish out the wages?)

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

"Well that's good. Be nice to see you in the forums and I love your tattoo

"
I'll have a go at hanging around more, and thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It never fails to amaze me when people that are struggling to get meets start a thread like this and then take exception to the feedback given... Seriously you aren't getting meets, these people are - maybe, just maybe their advice is worth taking on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well,I think the OP now has an ok profile - been interesting seeing this thread pan out...good luck young man and, as others have said, get to a few socials - be careful though cos some of us old biatches might send you running for the hills!

Mrs GT

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I thought I'd put this question to the girls on the site, what makes you pay attention to some messages over others? I can understand that I'm not to everyone's interest (though I'd prefer to be told) but when I match peoples requirements to the letter and still get ignored I feel like there must be something definable that I'm unwittingly doing wrong.

I can't speak for all. Personally, anyone that meets my criteria gets a response. My "no thanks" always includes something to leave the sender with some dignity.

Those I ignore obviously haven't read my profile: I know that by reading their profile first. Some are real howlers: white women only, no one over a size 8, submissive...yep, me to a t!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I think you're missing theh point if you think we're just looking for size and stamina, and maybe that is more of a clue why you're being ignored.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't know what "girls" are purely after size and stamina to us and well Mrs C attraction and being able to hold a conversation are more important than Mr Ed turning up and banging away at her for 3 hours.

Also, and its just our opinion here we dont think a session needs to last hours to be good we arent looking for 6 hour marathon shags.

Much better put than mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has been interesting. Hard to get even a polite no from women and cpls so a few tips,thanks

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"And if Wyrd wants that pic she has to earn it, no freebies.

Hahahahaha! Oh you are priceless!!

Come on Wyrd, you know you're desperate to see another cock photo! Best work hard to earn that privilege!

Eh, I'll take what I can get.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

For me it really depends on what mood I am in when I am online and what we are looking for at moment....

But the first thing I check out before even reading the message is the profile, if I don't like that then I am not going to be interested in the message, regardless of how polite or unique it is.

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By *exki11enWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

" but when I match peoples requirements to the letter and still get ignored I feel like there must be something definable that I'm unwittingly doing wrong.

So you match requirements to the letter? (the ones in print anyway) Are you not considering for one second that people might not find you attractive?

There are several boxes that need ticking, requirements and attraction. Just cos you tick the first box, doesn't guarantee you a shag (as you're finding out)

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By *amnationsedge OP Man
over a year ago

Ashborne

" but when I match peoples requirements to the letter and still get ignored I feel like there must be something definable that I'm unwittingly doing wrong.

So you match requirements to the letter? (the ones in print anyway) Are you not considering for one second that people might not find you attractive?

There are several boxes that need ticking, requirements and attraction. Just cos you tick the first box, doesn't guarantee you a shag (as you're finding out) "

I don't believe anything guarantees a shag and if people don't find me attractive I can deal with that but would prefer to be told what their problem is. If you have actual advice or useful information then I'd prefer it over accusing me of idiocy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's alright ticking boxes off a list but attraction remains paramount.

You can tock every box in the book but the other person simply might not find you physically attractive.

Some will therefore ignore you, some will politely decline your advances and some might message you back and see how things progress.

After all, all we have is a series of 2D pictures and a profile that (hopefully) is attractive to those we seek.

We all have our own way of using this site and the various options it offers us.

As long as we use it to the best of our own ability, then how other people choose to use it should be a matter of concern for them, not us.

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