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Don't know what I want! HELP!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't even know where to start?! But hoping others may have been through the same thing and can offer insight or advice?

Hubby and I have been swinging for 6 years, met the most amazing people and had lots of fun. We've entered back into playing after a Covid break with a more open mind and less barriers and exclusions. I've always considered myself bi but now questioning myself. Love the idea of sex with other men, then coming back to reconnect with hubs. But now I get it, I don't want it. And questioning everything. Feeling "dirty" or like I'm broken and doing something wrong. Currently going through the process of seeking ADHD diagnosis and fully aware I'm constantly just dopamine seeking, but then I get it and feel almost flat, or disappointed in myself. Had a meet tonight after chatting for a few days and feel like I want to cry

Can anyone relate?! Sorry for the late night rambles!

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire


"I don't even know where to start?! But hoping others may have been through the same thing and can offer insight or advice?

Hubby and I have been swinging for 6 years, met the most amazing people and had lots of fun. We've entered back into playing after a Covid break with a more open mind and less barriers and exclusions. I've always considered myself bi but now questioning myself. Love the idea of sex with other men, then coming back to reconnect with hubs. But now I get it, I don't want it. And questioning everything. Feeling "dirty" or like I'm broken and doing something wrong. Currently going through the process of seeking ADHD diagnosis and fully aware I'm constantly just dopamine seeking, but then I get it and feel almost flat, or disappointed in myself. Had a meet tonight after chatting for a few days and feel like I want to cry

Can anyone relate?! Sorry for the late night rambles! "

Hey, sorry to hear how your feeling, maybe just take a break and concentrate on YOU then carry on some other time with Fab...Your mental health and feel good factor is way more important than any sort of meet. Try and find another way of getting that Dopa-mine fix.

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby


"I don't even know where to start?! But hoping others may have been through the same thing and can offer insight or advice?

Hubby and I have been swinging for 6 years, met the most amazing people and had lots of fun. We've entered back into playing after a Covid break with a more open mind and less barriers and exclusions. I've always considered myself bi but now questioning myself. Love the idea of sex with other men, then coming back to reconnect with hubs. But now I get it, I don't want it. And questioning everything. Feeling "dirty" or like I'm broken and doing something wrong. Currently going through the process of seeking ADHD diagnosis and fully aware I'm constantly just dopamine seeking, but then I get it and feel almost flat, or disappointed in myself. Had a meet tonight after chatting for a few days and feel like I want to cry

Can anyone relate?! Sorry for the late night rambles! "

If it hurts when you poke it then stop poking it. Take a step back and let your back brain catch up. You are the captain of your ship but you thoughts and emotions the crew. Listen to them. They might be right or wrong but listen. Shutting them up and they shout louder.

Is the bi side a big part of this?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If it makes you feel bad, stop.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Yeah. I’ve been there, and FOR ME, it’s because I’m not wired for casual sex with strangers. I’m wired for recreational fucking with friends.

Many people with ADHD have some rejection sensitive dysphoria, which means amongst other things, negative experiences hit our brains harder. The process of getting diagnosed can also be really hard emotionally. Be gentle with yourself, please?

What’s been working for me is to step back and focus on socialising and building friendships, so when I’m ready, I have options.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I have very similar feelings to this crop up every so often. I suddenly feel what I'm doing is wrong and that I'm being used for others sexual gratification and stop enjoying it.

I take a break, hide my profile and concentrate on other aspects of my life for a few weeks or months. When I feel more positive about my self esteem and feel empowered, I return to the lifestyle.

If it feels wrong, have a break and then re evaluate what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have very similar feelings to this crop up every so often. I suddenly feel what I'm doing is wrong and that I'm being used for others sexual gratification and stop enjoying it.

I take a break, hide my profile and concentrate on other aspects of my life for a few weeks or months. When I feel more positive about my self esteem and feel empowered, I return to the lifestyle.

If it feels wrong, have a break and then re evaluate what you want. "

Good advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yeah. I’ve been there, and FOR ME, it’s because I’m not wired for casual sex with strangers. I’m wired for recreational fucking with friends.

Many people with ADHD have some rejection sensitive dysphoria, which means amongst other things, negative experiences hit our brains harder. The process of getting diagnosed can also be really hard emotionally. Be gentle with yourself, please?

What’s been working for me is to step back and focus on socialising and building friendships, so when I’m ready, I have options.

"

Thanks doll xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have very similar feelings to this crop up every so often. I suddenly feel what I'm doing is wrong and that I'm being used for others sexual gratification and stop enjoying it.

I take a break, hide my profile and concentrate on other aspects of my life for a few weeks or months. When I feel more positive about my self esteem and feel empowered, I return to the lifestyle.

If it feels wrong, have a break and then re evaluate what you want. "

I think I feel don't "deserve" A break as we've not been back in that long. But your post really resonates and o think it's definitely something I have to consider xxxx thank you for your reply xxxx

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Also, I think a lot of us are struggling to get back to swinging after the pandemic, and there does seem to be a lot of gentlemen acting like entitled idiots. It’s not just you. It’ll settle

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

[Removed by poster at 12/04/22 14:47:55]

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By *Bacchus.Man
over a year ago

Torquay

Maybe the swinging has run its course, you played and had fun, then had a break and it's probably just not a requirement in your life anymore.

People change

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Maybe the swinging has run its course, you played and had fun, then had a break and it's probably just not a requirement in your life anymore.

People change "

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