FabSwingers.com forum: Nicest possible rejections

By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

Okay I get you…. The only way not to get aggressive replies is to block after you reject

Thanks for the advice xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

Okay I get you…. The only way not to get aggressive replies is to block after you reject

Thanks for the advice xx"

It's the only sure way. Sometimes they'll start another account just to pour vitriol but having new accounts filtered from messaging you stops that.

I think you need to remember that politeness is a good thing but there is no polite way to reject someone that makes it less of a rejection and some can't handle it.

We're fortunate in that most people either don't respond or reply politely

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By *oreThanCurvyWoman
over a year ago

Bucks

I sometimes say that I'm chatting to someone already and it works. But most of the time it's better not to reply.

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By *ovis and GreeneyesCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

Polite no thanks normally works, if they keep on then a bit more abruptly no, then f-&k off already have said no + block

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I just say "thanks, but no, thanks" or similar, and usually block them after. That stops any more messages, and stops us from wasting each other's time.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I have found it doesn't matter how polite you are there will always be people who can't take rejection and get abusive.

This is why site rules say a no reply = a no thank you and why most of the time I just delete and don't reply.

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

[Removed by poster at 27/03/22 10:47:53]

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"[Removed by poster at 27/03/22 10:47:53]"

"I'm sorry darling but I'm looking for something else"...If somebody rejected me like that, it would work fine for me and I'd never pester for owt again. Then again, you might well get plenty of abuse from some even with a rejection like that. So, you will n e v e r please everybody.

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

Okay I get you…. The only way not to get aggressive replies is to block after you reject

Thanks for the advice xx

It's the only sure way. Sometimes they'll start another account just to pour vitriol but having new accounts filtered from messaging you stops that.

I think you need to remember that politeness is a good thing but there is no polite way to reject someone that makes it less of a rejection and some can't handle it.

We're fortunate in that most people either don't respond or reply politely

Thanks a lot for this advice xx

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I sometimes say that I'm chatting to someone already and it works. But most of the time it's better not to reply. "

Yes I have said that too I totally get you xx

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Polite no thanks normally works, if they keep on then a bit more abruptly no, then f-&k off already have said no + block

Lol thanks for that I get that blocking is a valid option xx

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block. "

If you block someone immediately after replying you will never know if you got a polite reply thanking you for a polite reply..

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I just say "thanks, but no, thanks" or similar, and usually block them after. That stops any more messages, and stops us from wasting each other's time."

Yes the blocking seems to be the best advice so far xx

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"[Removed by poster at 27/03/22 10:47:53]

Thanks for that no not everyone is happy with that xx

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I have found it doesn't matter how polite you are there will always be people who can't take rejection and get abusive.

This is why site rules say a no reply = a no thank you and why most of the time I just delete and don't reply. "

Oh I didn’t realise that was the site rules good advice thanks xx

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

If you block someone immediately after replying you will never know if you got a polite reply thanking you for a polite reply.."

I don’t need to know if they are abusive or not I need to stop the abuse I get already thanks for your perspective xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say Thankyou for the pics but unfortunately the attraction isn't there for me this time. Usually get a polite response so I guess that works

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By *arrior PrincessWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think blocking is also a good idea because the same people seem to come back to bother you!

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I say Thankyou for the pics but unfortunately the attraction isn't there for me this time. Usually get a polite response so I guess that works"

Okay cool good idea thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wishing well and "happy fabbing" work's for couples/ladies who message nice or polite though sometimes it's best just to ignore and delete.

We are both social people and find it difficult because although we are happy to interact with everyone on a social level at say a club, party or social we don't consider everyone we wish to interact with sexually.

It can get quite tricky We get a lot of people let's just say older than us who message outside our age range. If they are telling porkies by 10 years on the profile age we would probably add politely we are looking for people inside our age range or about our age.

If they can't be honest we don't feel that it's fair and would put us off more than anything else.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

If you block someone immediately after replying you will never know if you got a polite reply thanking you for a polite reply.."

I can happily live with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block.

If you block someone immediately after replying you will never know if you got a polite reply thanking you for a polite reply.."

Why would you care if someone wants to thank you for your no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don’t reply set their message to unread and block them if they keep sending more.

Some guys will never know when to quit so don’t bother trying to be nice to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be honest say your not my type then block x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Find your polite way, wish them well and block.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If I say no thanks ,then I do block afterwards.I said no ta last week and must have forgotten to block,then he started the well why not messages .

I usually just say thanks but no thanks ,happy swinging.

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By *yes146Man
over a year ago

London

Should have to. Simple no thanks is good enough. Atleast you replied.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

"
. Sorry to hear that you have received aggressive messages from guys that you don’t want to meet.I know that I sent you a message and you replied back saying no thanks I accepted it and possible messaged you back saying good luck with your search. I feel the best way is not to respond to the messages if they continue then just block.Once again best of luck with search.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has sent a particularly nice message where thought has been put into it I will politely decline as I feel they deserve it for being genuine, but 90% of the time people haven't even bothered reading my profile so why do I need to be courteous?

I've put on my profile that an ignored or deleted message is a polite 'no thank you'. I don't have time or interest in being nice to everyone as I don't owe anyone anything.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'd say just block nobody deserves a reply after reading it's just an option saves the hassle but if you do reply just a not interested should be enough and block saying not interested is just as much polite

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Not for me, happy hunting. Don't reply after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion hassle free no comebacks would be a simple block it’s what I do

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By *ed velvet thornWoman
over a year ago

over the rainbow

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

I always say not for me sorry .... Happy fabbing and leave it at that if they get aggressive then I block

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By *tevebackagainMan
over a year ago

near horrabridge

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

"
I think just be honest and nice if people get aggressive then your decision to reject was right I’ve been rejected many times and I was always polite in fact a couple of times I was rejected and was polite back they suddenly became interested it’s a good way of finding nice guys I think

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

As a guy who does solo meets, I'd honestly rather just have a lady block me or just not respond rather than respond no thank you. I don't take it personally and I move on. She doesn't need to explain herself and I'm not gonna message her any further.

But that's me, not the rest of the male population on this site.

So just block and leave it at that. You don't owe people explanation's.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block. "

Exactly this.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Quite happy (well you know what I mean,) to get "sorry, but your not what I/we are after". Being blocked then actually helps ME as well, as them as nobody's time will be wasted in future searches.

But I don't get upset by just a block either as I know I haven't upset them, because I pay attention to a profile. Messaging takes time so I understand why they might not . I know I haven't been rude etc, so it's all good.

I have had a couple of occasions where women have called me disgusting for being bi and wanting to meet. (Why they are shocked that bi blokes might want to meet single women is beyond me)

I blocked them.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

The best way is not to reply, because as soon as you reply they'll forever be able to override your filters, your just asking for trouble

The site FAQs are clear in that no reply means no thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just write "Thank you but no" and if they are not to your liking, block them. No harm done and no abuse received. If they do abuse you then always report them. x

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By *aulaxd2020TV/TS
over a year ago

Dudley

Always reply politely “sorry but not interested “ if they choose to keep messaging i usually reply in an apathetic cba kind of way even if they give me abuse I’ve never blocked anyone, and they usually end up blocking me which is fine because I didn’t want to talk to them anyway

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By *aughtynottsCouple
over a year ago

Outside Nottingham

This shouldn’t even be a thing but it is. A really shit thing about this site is peoples responses to being told no.

I don’t apologise anymore we’ve been here a long time and it gets so mind numbing. I simply say “your not what we are looking for, happy fabbing” to nice messages, if they continue to respond in a non polite way I just block. Also if their first message is anything other than well thought out I block.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I block too. So many chancers do not pay a site supporter fee and think they can message again in a while.

Blocking is not rude or cruel, it is just a way of making the site work better for yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been turned down many a time whether it be a no reply or a polite no thank you, my response to those who do politely decline is a “thank for the response I hope you find what you are looking for” then I forget about it.

I have never understood getting arsey about it all.

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Surely a lack of reply is a simple way of showing lack of interest?

Ok I’m speaking mainly from my experiences on certain dating sites, but if someone doesn’t reply I assume they don’t want to connect, and that’s fine. Maybe I’m just one of the decent guys who gets nowhere in life because I’m not pushy or arrogant. But I’m happy just being me

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I have been turned down many a time whether it be a no reply or a polite no thank you, my response to those who do politely decline is a “thank for the response I hope you find what you are looking for” then I forget about it.

I have never understood getting arsey about it all. "

Not complaining but when I get the response "I hope you find what you are looking for" I cringe.

Who says I am looking for something? Maybe I found it already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never understood getting arsey about it all.

Not complaining but when I get the response "I hope you find what you are looking for" I cringe.

Who says I am looking for something? Maybe I found it already

Touché

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Not for me thanks, usually works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A no thank you and a block is best for me. As i then no longer see any updates in the future and mistakenly message again. Much simpler for everyone. To be offended at a no is either a sign of a big ego,or desperation. Which isn't an attractive quality in any one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A no thank you and a block is best for me. As i then no longer see any updates in the future and mistakenly message again. Much simpler for everyone. To be offended at a no is either a sign of a big ego,or desperation. Which isn't an attractive quality in any one. "

I’m offended at no and have an enormous ego

I wouldn’t take it out at the person on the other end though its just not fair and what does it do to me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the problem is rejection is seen as something bad rather than just a process of life ... its everywhere it happens to all of us across all parts of like

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

Its not how you deliver it its how they recieve it...don't worry to much about it..your well within your rights to say no thankyou and site rules do suggest that if it a message is ignored then to take it as a polite no...don't think to much on it honey xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say "thanks, but no, thanks" or similar, and usually block them after. That stops any more messages, and stops us from wasting each other's time."

This works perfectly. Anything else leaves room for debate.

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By *amLaraCroft OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Thanks everyone for your advice I appreciate your posts xx

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By *orkcoastguyMan
over a year ago

Bridlington.

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

It says more about them that guys should be so insecure as to react in such a way.

One does wonder though that if they react like that at a distance how they react in a real, one-to-one interaction. Maybe that's why they are on their own?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

“Not for me, sorry!” Is all you need to do

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

"How can I reject someone in the most pleasant way possible so I don’t get abusive messages back?

I don’t think ignoring is the best way to reject guys but if I say “I don’t want to meet sorry”and be straight they get all aggressive

How can I make my rejections more pleasant ?

Just block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t tend to reply, but if I do, I just say “not for me thanks”.

Seems to work

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

Sorry that you are getting abusive replies.

When ever Im lucky enough to get a 'No thank you', i always reply thanking them for taking the trouble to let me knowand make a note in the notes section reminding myself that Im not their type.

I really appreciate the rejection as

I know that I'm not under consideration.

If an abusive reply was recieved in my inbox, i would reply with 'It looks like I had a lucky escape' and then block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess some people can't take rejection but at least you have the courtesy to actual reply with a 'thanks but no thanks'. Most ghost or simply ignore/block.

What a shame the OP has to even ask the question......

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

"Don't apologise and don't be ambiguous.

"No thank you, best wishes". Then block. "

This

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By *emptd2Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

What you've said for a rejection is fine. Just block and move on.

Same applies to people who get rejected. That way they don't make the same mistake again.

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By *iceButtSlimMan
over a year ago

somewhere

"One does wonder though that if they react like that at a distance how they react in a real, one-to-one interaction. Maybe that's why they are on their own?"

You'll probably find that many are keyboard warriors who wouldn't say boo to a goose.

It's a shame people have to block after sending a no thanks message, as although you may not be suited for those of us who aren't abusive we then loose being able to appreciate that person's profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy, I’d rather receive a no thank you, than nothing at all.

As usual it’s the minority that spoil it for the majority.

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By *D of funCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

It's a no thanks.. good luck. Block

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By *moothGrooveWoman
over a year ago

Durham

My cut and paste is, "you're profile isn't for me thank you. I hope you find what you're looking for."

If someone is going to be abusive and not take it well, they will be abusive and not take it well regardless of your reply. That's what the block button is for

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