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"I'm going to assume that you've done all the talking stuff, have ruled out all other possible issues and you know definitely peri-menopause that's the problem. Have you been to a gp? Sometimes you need to shop around to find someone who's knowledgeable in women's health. Good luck" We've just started Relate as the lack of intimacy is causing us to drift apart but she won't see a doctor about possible menopause issues. x | |||
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"I'm going to assume that you've done all the talking stuff, have ruled out all other possible issues and you know definitely peri-menopause that's the problem. Have you been to a gp? Sometimes you need to shop around to find someone who's knowledgeable in women's health. Good luck We've just started Relate as the lack of intimacy is causing us to drift apart but she won't see a doctor about possible menopause issues. x" In my opinion you're doing the right thing. Good luck to you both I hope you find a good resolution  | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? " No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us Could be some depression along with the menopause? Hopefully Relate will help her understand her feelings more. Good luck. X" | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X" Hrt can deff help. I recommend the Balance app. Lots of info on there | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X Hrt can deff help. I recommend the Balance app. Lots of info on there" Thanks, I’ll have a look and suggest it x | |||
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"Following this with interest, can totally relate to it. My wife never has been overly forthcoming sexually but it was ok up to about 10/15 years ago, and since then it’s petered out to zero. Have only had sex, (not made love) three times in last 5 years, zero since last April. She won’t get intimate in any way, no touching or fondling, hardly ever kiss even. In every other way we get on fantastic, but it’s like we’re just good friends, nothing more. She saw doctor at the beginning of it all and he prescribed some hrt or something but it made her poorly so not done anything since. I try to talk but she doesn’t see it as a problem. I lie in bed in tears some nights as I just want to do something, anything, not necessarily make love but at least touch each other. So, if I can find out of here something that could work I’d be a very happy bunny. " Almost exactly the same as us in every way except my wife was sexually so adventurous previously so it’s even more of a change now. I know what you mean about sex not making love as well. That’s exactly what we’ve done the three times we have done something the last three years. | |||
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"she's entitled too huh , not her fault menopause or change of mind. Be understanding , leave her be, respect her feelings and how she feels is my advice. i actually think the majority of women are only on here to please there husbands, single they'd choose a dating site." God no, it’s far better on here than dating sites  | |||
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"Hrt doesn’t just help libido, it is important for brain/heart and bone health. " Ahhh i see x | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously " My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. " Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua. | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua." We do occasionally hold hands yes, if on a walk, or sitting on the sofa maybe. Nothing in bed, is that because she thinks it might lead to something, I don’t know. I understand that the menopause is very difficult for some ladies, can lead to depression and anxiety, so I’m not decrying it in any way. But my wife isn’t depressed or anxious. Away from our intimacy we are happier than ever, which makes it all the more upsetting for me. | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua." I think she may but it never happens as we’ve built an invisible barrier that seems to stop us doing even something as simple as holding hands | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua. We do occasionally hold hands yes, if on a walk, or sitting on the sofa maybe. Nothing in bed, is that because she thinks it might lead to something, I don’t know. I understand that the menopause is very difficult for some ladies, can lead to depression and anxiety, so I’m not decrying it in any way. But my wife isn’t depressed or anxious. Away from our intimacy we are happier than ever, which makes it all the more upsetting for me. " I can see how difficult that must be. It's only a suggestion as I don't know you or her but would you feel able to say to her that you'd like to just hold her in bed, nothing more just that important sensation of being close to a loved one? | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua. I think she may but it never happens as we’ve built an invisible barrier that seems to stop us doing even something as simple as holding hands " Sorry to hear that. | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X" Perhaps you could try talking to someone to help you accept the change...that would be supportive | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua. We do occasionally hold hands yes, if on a walk, or sitting on the sofa maybe. Nothing in bed, is that because she thinks it might lead to something, I don’t know. I understand that the menopause is very difficult for some ladies, can lead to depression and anxiety, so I’m not decrying it in any way. But my wife isn’t depressed or anxious. Away from our intimacy we are happier than ever, which makes it all the more upsetting for me. I can see how difficult that must be. It's only a suggestion as I don't know you or her but would you feel able to say to her that you'd like to just hold her in bed, nothing more just that important sensation of being close to a loved one?" Well I have tried before but it’s always very short lived, as soon as she knows that I’m aroused it tends to put her off. However, maybe it could be worth a try again. Thank you | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua. We do occasionally hold hands yes, if on a walk, or sitting on the sofa maybe. Nothing in bed, is that because she thinks it might lead to something, I don’t know. I understand that the menopause is very difficult for some ladies, can lead to depression and anxiety, so I’m not decrying it in any way. But my wife isn’t depressed or anxious. Away from our intimacy we are happier than ever, which makes it all the more upsetting for me. I can see how difficult that must be. It's only a suggestion as I don't know you or her but would you feel able to say to her that you'd like to just hold her in bed, nothing more just that important sensation of being close to a loved one? Well I have tried before but it’s always very short lived, as soon as she knows that I’m aroused it tends to put her off. However, maybe it could be worth a try again. Thank you " How about if you make it clear that you won't act on your arousal? You just want to enjoy feeling close to her. | |||
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"Do you think she takes you seriously My wife doesn’t, she doesn’t see it as an issue. Why do we need to do anything like that. As I’ve said, it’s not just the actual penetrative sex, it’s all forms of intimacy, even stroking her boobs. I truly cannot remember the last time we kissed. I don’t think unless you’re in a similar situation you can grasp how upsetting and depressing it is. Does she enjoy non sexual touching? By that I mean a cuddle or hand holding that she knows won't lead to anything sexua. We do occasionally hold hands yes, if on a walk, or sitting on the sofa maybe. Nothing in bed, is that because she thinks it might lead to something, I don’t know. I understand that the menopause is very difficult for some ladies, can lead to depression and anxiety, so I’m not decrying it in any way. But my wife isn’t depressed or anxious. Away from our intimacy we are happier than ever, which makes it all the more upsetting for me. I can see how difficult that must be. It's only a suggestion as I don't know you or her but would you feel able to say to her that you'd like to just hold her in bed, nothing more just that important sensation of being close to a loved one? Well I have tried before but it’s always very short lived, as soon as she knows that I’m aroused it tends to put her off. However, maybe it could be worth a try again. Thank you How about if you make it clear that you won't act on your arousal? You just want to enjoy feeling close to her." Oh I have done, frequently, but it falls on deaf ears. I can’t help getting aroused though. | |||
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"Hi guys, My wife has lost all interest in sex after 20 plus years of amazing sex and swinging, I wondered if anyone else had the same experience and how they overcame it? Over the years she has been insatiable and i've loved every second of her enjoying other men and acting out our fantasies together. These days we don't even make love ourselves and have only had sex three times in the last three years. Love to have your advice guys x " Very similar to us in many Ways, although I don’t think it’s menopause, it started when we got pregnant, went through some tough times but over the last 6/7 years sex between us has dwindled down to once or twice a year if I’m lucky! We have talked about it at length but she is just not interested anymore? I would give anything to be that swinging couple we once were again, miss it so much. | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X" Arguing about what? Maybe she feels worthless and just a piece of sex meat. | |||
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"Hi guys, My wife has lost all interest in sex after 20 plus years of amazing sex and swinging, I wondered if anyone else had the same experience and how they overcame it? Over the years she has been insatiable and i've loved every second of her enjoying other men and acting out our fantasies together. These days we don't even make love ourselves and have only had sex three times in the last three years. Love to have your advice guys x Very similar to us in many Ways, although I don’t think it’s menopause, it started when we got pregnant, went through some tough times but over the last 6/7 years sex between us has dwindled down to once or twice a year if I’m lucky! We have talked about it at length but she is just not interested anymore? I would give anything to be that swinging couple we once were again, miss it so much." Is she aware that you still have a profile with her pics on it? | |||
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" i actually think the majority of women are only on here to please there husbands, single they'd choose a dating site." What on earth do you base that on out of interest?
Viv | |||
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"maybe its not sexual at all ? maybe its just something else " Ten years ago I would have thought so, times were hard financially, but we got through that and are better off than have ever been. We’re very happy, apart from this part of our lives, which is really getting me down. | |||
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"Hi guys, My wife has lost all interest in sex after 20 plus years of amazing sex and swinging, I wondered if anyone else had the same experience and how they overcame it? Over the years she has been insatiable and i've loved every second of her enjoying other men and acting out our fantasies together. These days we don't even make love ourselves and have only had sex three times in the last three years. Love to have your advice guys x " 1 word empathy | |||
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"Hi guys, My wife has lost all interest in sex after 20 plus years of amazing sex and swinging, I wondered if anyone else had the same experience and how they overcame it? Over the years she has been insatiable and i've loved every second of her enjoying other men and acting out our fantasies together. These days we don't even make love ourselves and have only had sex three times in the last three years. Love to have your advice guys x Very similar to us in many Ways, although I don’t think it’s menopause, it started when we got pregnant, went through some tough times but over the last 6/7 years sex between us has dwindled down to once or twice a year if I’m lucky! We have talked about it at length but she is just not interested anymore? I would give anything to be that swinging couple we once were again, miss it so much. Is she aware that you still have a profile with her pics on it? "She is indeed as we have nothing to hide. I also hope that reading some stories may get her thinking about it a little as well. | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X Arguing about what? Maybe she feels worthless and just a piece of sex meat. " She always took the lead when it came to meets and who we met. As you'll see from the verifications it was mainly single men we met. If she felt like that surely she wouldnt have been meeting guys? | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X Arguing about what? Maybe she feels worthless and just a piece of sex meat. She always took the lead when it came to meets and who we met. As you'll see from the verifications it was mainly single men we met. If she felt like that surely she wouldnt have been meeting guys? " I mean her current feelings. Perhaps you were more attentive when she was fucking around. Now you're trying to get her to fuck around again. Maybe she doesn't want to. | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X" Why should she change the situation? Why is her worth to you based solely on having sex with you? | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X Arguing about what? Maybe she feels worthless and just a piece of sex meat. She always took the lead when it came to meets and who we met. As you'll see from the verifications it was mainly single men we met. If she felt like that surely she wouldnt have been meeting guys? " Feekings change. Just because she used to be like that doesn't mean she can't change her attitude towards it. | |||
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"It could be. Is she on any hrt? No she’s not been to see the Dr despite us talking (and arguing) about it. Just seems to to be drifting along and not looking to change the situation. I’m hoping to get back the way things were between us X Arguing about what? Maybe she feels worthless and just a piece of sex meat. She always took the lead when it came to meets and who we met. As you'll see from the verifications it was mainly single men we met. If she felt like that surely she wouldnt have been meeting guys? I mean her current feelings. Perhaps you were more attentive when she was fucking around. Now you're trying to get her to fuck around again. Maybe she doesn't want to. " Not trying to get her to swing at all these days. | |||
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"Ok. So. Menopause is fucking grim. Weird body hair, weight gain, headaches, sweat, hot flushes, dry vagina, almost constant heavy periods. It’s really hard to feel sexy. It’s about a million times worse than just after childbirth, if you have kids you’ll remember how bad that was. I’m incredibly lucky. I have a new partner who makes me feel like the sexiest woman in the world, and his affection and attentiveness is helping a lot. In particular, it helps that we’ve never stopped cuddling, and never tied it to sex. I do wonder if in the past you might have taken her for granted a little bit? Relate are great at picking up on this and working through it if so. And the past is never coming back. Sorry. Build something new and better. If you could show her this, that would be great? Please go and see your GP - a lot of my friends have the same vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and we all felt a lot better once we started supplementing. There are a lot of options to help you feel better" This is brilliant feedback and advice, thank you x | |||
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