FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Dominant Males Wanted

Jump to newest
 

By *ophie199 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

After plenty of playing between us (and when we’ve been lucky the odd extra guy) in this field, we are now on the hunt for a somewhat experienced dom male, to use Soph including ropes, blindfolding, slapping, all within agreed boundaries of course, but we we’re wanting to push these boundaries. Hopefully this might pique some interest, reply in forum or DM…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ominant 71Man
over a year ago

the North East

Hi to you both

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophie199 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Bump!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God are there this few dom men on here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I’m Dion check out my verifications I’m a dom male AND who knows what he is doing xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky


"Hi I’m Dion check out my verifications I’m a dom male AND who knows what he is doing xxx "
not to be critical but there's nothing in your verifications to show or even suggested you are a dom in the context that the OP are looking for.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erandSir2020Couple
over a year ago

Telford

There are genuine Dom's out there. We are a D/s couple. Try fet too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Odd dynamic, different people have different expectations.

There are a number of different values and beliefs in play around power exchanges.

Explore the potential with what will become more than a future friend.

Don’t compromise your values and beliefs and make sure boundaries are set and only shift with mutual consent.

Oh, don’t forget to have absolutely stunning fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *veryonelovesdaveMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

I'm a respectful Dom male. Just need to find that genuine couple. Shame your so far up north

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are more of is than you think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyfilthymindMan
over a year ago

Heathrow / Berks

I am a dominant and I am looking for masochists/ degradees. Exploring or experienced welcome

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford


"After plenty of playing between us (and when we’ve been lucky the odd extra guy) in this field, we are now on the hunt for a somewhat experienced dom male, to use Soph including ropes, blindfolding, slapping, all within agreed boundaries of course, but we we’re wanting to push these boundaries. Hopefully this might pique some interest, reply in forum or DM…"

Best advice I could give here is to join a certain fetish site and look for local munches and kink events and get a feel for the people in the lifestyle. But mostly do your research (verifications, social meets etc) into potential play partners as there are plenty of chances around. Also just because someone is a dom it doesn't necessarily mean they are the right dom for you.

Mr Hayes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Shame you’re so far away OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of it is understanding the gift of submission and I agree you need to look around at different Dom's to see what your preference is.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many guys on here don’t know the difference between being a dominant and just being dominant!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oss and BootsCouple
over a year ago

grantham, lincolnshire


"After plenty of playing between us (and when we’ve been lucky the odd extra guy) in this field, we are now on the hunt for a somewhat experienced dom male, to use Soph including ropes, blindfolding, slapping, all within agreed boundaries of course, but we we’re wanting to push these boundaries. Hopefully this might pique some interest, reply in forum or DM…"

Watching this with interest!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many guys on here don’t know the difference between being a dominant and just being dominant! "

So very true. Goes for the kink sites too. The 25yo masters make me giggle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many guys on here don’t know the difference between being a dominant and just being dominant!

So very true. Goes for the kink sites too. The 25yo masters make me giggle. "

I just can’t take them seriously! I can tell in about two messages who’s a dom and who’s a fake!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many guys on here don’t know the difference between being a dominant and just being dominant!

So very true. Goes for the kink sites too. The 25yo masters make me giggle.

I just can’t take them seriously! I can tell in about two messages who’s a dom and who’s a fake! "

I bet they don't take kindly to being called fakes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many guys on here don’t know the difference between being a dominant and just being dominant!

So very true. Goes for the kink sites too. The 25yo masters make me giggle.

I just can’t take them seriously! I can tell in about two messages who’s a dom and who’s a fake!

I bet they don't take kindly to being called fakes "

I’m slightly more tactful usually

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many guys on here don’t know the difference between being a dominant and just being dominant!

So very true. Goes for the kink sites too. The 25yo masters make me giggle.

I just can’t take them seriously! I can tell in about two messages who’s a dom and who’s a fake!

I bet they don't take kindly to being called fakes

I’m slightly more tactful usually "

Oh. Well erm yes. Course. Me too!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"There are genuine Dom's out there. We are a D/s couple. Try fet too "

Second this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

A few thought on my part.

It seems to me that this is a topping situation and not a D/S situation. Therefore a suitably skilled person is required and not necessarily a dominant.

It is an often repeated statement that domination does not necessarily mean being skilled in the sensory arts.

I would not suggest the other site as you will have the same problem in assessing anyone who applies. You have a far larger pool of people, but a larger amount of people who will be wrong. Whereas, assessing anyone on Fab you can use the verification system and reach out to anyone put forward as a reference.

In terms of the criticism of "wannabe Dom's", the same applies to "wannabe subs" that see dominantion as a vending machine of delights, rather than a relationship of mutual respect.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

If only you were closer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omoxfordMan
over a year ago

leeds

Hi You two

I m in Leeds I don't have much experience in domination but I d give it a go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few thought on my part.

It seems to me that this is a topping situation and not a D/S situation. Therefore a suitably skilled person is required and not necessarily a dominant.

It is an often repeated statement that domination does not necessarily mean being skilled in the sensory arts.

I would not suggest the other site as you will have the same problem in assessing anyone who applies. You have a far larger pool of people, but a larger amount of people who will be wrong. Whereas, assessing anyone on Fab you can use the verification system and reach out to anyone put forward as a reference.

In terms of the criticism of "wannabe Dom's", the same applies to "wannabe subs" that see dominantion as a vending machine of delights, rather than a relationship of mutual respect."

I agree with you about subs. I've done a bit of mentoring (not that I am an expert) and that attitude is equally as pervasive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"God are there this few dom men on here "

FL is likely to be a better option than here for Doms.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few thought on my part.

It seems to me that this is a topping situation and not a D/S situation. Therefore a suitably skilled person is required and not necessarily a dominant.

It is an often repeated statement that domination does not necessarily mean being skilled in the sensory arts.

I would not suggest the other site as you will have the same problem in assessing anyone who applies. You have a far larger pool of people, but a larger amount of people who will be wrong. Whereas, assessing anyone on Fab you can use the verification system and reach out to anyone put forward as a reference.

In terms of the criticism of "wannabe Dom's", the same applies to "wannabe subs" that see dominantion as a vending machine of delights, rather than a relationship of mutual respect.

I agree with you about subs. I've done a bit of mentoring (not that I am an expert) and that attitude is equally as pervasive. "

A good collection of points, I think the confidence to recognise where / who is exploring or having high communication about all sorts helps so much more than just saying ‘I am XYZ’ etc, particularly for a specific kink / scene / fantasy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"A few thought on my part.

It seems to me that this is a topping situation and not a D/S situation. Therefore a suitably skilled person is required and not necessarily a dominant.

It is an often repeated statement that domination does not necessarily mean being skilled in the sensory arts.

I would not suggest the other site as you will have the same problem in assessing anyone who applies. You have a far larger pool of people, but a larger amount of people who will be wrong. Whereas, assessing anyone on Fab you can use the verification system and reach out to anyone put forward as a reference.

In terms of the criticism of "wannabe Dom's", the same applies to "wannabe subs" that see dominantion as a vending machine of delights, rather than a relationship of mutual respect.

I agree with you about subs. I've done a bit of mentoring (not that I am an expert) and that attitude is equally as pervasive.

A good collection of points, I think the confidence to recognise where / who is exploring or having high communication about all sorts helps so much more than just saying ‘I am XYZ’ etc, particularly for a specific kink / scene / fantasy. "

I agree.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"A few thought on my part.

It seems to me that this is a topping situation and not a D/S situation. Therefore a suitably skilled person is required and not necessarily a dominant.

It is an often repeated statement that domination does not necessarily mean being skilled in the sensory arts.

I would not suggest the other site as you will have the same problem in assessing anyone who applies. You have a far larger pool of people, but a larger amount of people who will be wrong. Whereas, assessing anyone on Fab you can use the verification system and reach out to anyone put forward as a reference.

In terms of the criticism of "wannabe Dom's", the same applies to "wannabe subs" that see dominantion as a vending machine of delights, rather than a relationship of mutual respect.

I agree with you about subs. I've done a bit of mentoring (not that I am an expert) and that attitude is equally as pervasive. "

It is similar to the attitude of some male subs that watch porn and think all Dommes are about pegging, or sexual play.

The growing concept in rope at the moment is "active bottoming" this means the rope bottom/model/ bunny educate themselves about rope skills to know whether the rope top is doing the right thing. It is not about becoming a rigger (although some rope bottoms are brilliant riggers) but it is educating themselves about what they want from a rope experience.This also involves understanding their bodies and how they process feelings and sensation when in rope So the play becomes a shared experience.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssexgalWoman
over a year ago

Essex

My partner is a Dom and I have two male Dom friends.The other fetish page as some suggest would be of use on this and has pages within for this.

I’m lucky mine is a roper and a bdsm Dom but I’m sure you will find similar near you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *terobs6869Man
over a year ago

Llandudno

I can only echo what others have already said about Fet. That's more of a social network than a hook up site, although it is possible to meet people on there, especially if you go to a munch.

The key is to understand that there are so many levels to D/S play - what do you actually want? Impact play? What kind? Rope play? Again, what kind? Do you want to be humiliated or degraded? Do you want to be a sl*ve, owned by a Master? Do you want a power exchange? Or do you just want your ass spanked?

Only you can answer those questions and probably only by trying a few things out and testing your boundaries.

If you have a local club which has BDSM or fetish nights, that could be another way to do some research. You don't have to play, you can just watch and talk to some of the real Doms there.

But remember, above all else, it's about you and what you want. You give your consent to a Dom on the unspoken understanding that he will facilitate you in meeting your needs. He is an enabler, it's not about him, and you can withdraw your consent at any time. That's why the Sub has the real power in the relationship.

PM me if you want to chat more. I'm too far away to help you personally but I'm happy to offer guidance.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hantelle-La-SlutTV/TS
over a year ago

South Birmingham


"I can only echo what others have already said about Fet. That's more of a social network than a hook up site, although it is possible to meet people on there, especially if you go to a munch.

The key is to understand that there are so many levels to D/S play - what do you actually want? Impact play? What kind? Rope play? Again, what kind? Do you want to be humiliated or degraded? Do you want to be a sl*ve, owned by a Master? Do you want a power exchange? Or do you just want your ass spanked?

Only you can answer those questions and probably only by trying a few things out and testing your boundaries.

If you have a local club which has BDSM or fetish nights, that could be another way to do some research. You don't have to play, you can just watch and talk to some of the real Doms there.

But remember, above all else, it's about you and what you want. You give your consent to a Dom on the unspoken understanding that he will facilitate you in meeting your needs. He is an enabler, it's not about him, and you can withdraw your consent at any time. That's why the Sub has the real power in the relationship.

PM me if you want to chat more. I'm too far away to help you personally but I'm happy to offer guidance.

"

Couldn't put it better myself

The sub is and always be in charge as they allow the dom to do what they want to them. A very good Dom will push the boundaries to its limits without ever going over them (those limits might change over time).

It is very hard a find and it is also a lot about trust so not something you acheive on a first meet. it needs time to mature.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm. I'm going against the grain here. I don't think the sub holds all the power. It's a two way relationship. We negotiate what my limits are, but the dominant also specifies what he's comfortable with. Either can stop play.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Last_TitanMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Hmm. I'm going against the grain here. I don't think the sub holds all the power. It's a two way relationship. We negotiate what my limits are, but the dominant also specifies what he's comfortable with. Either can stop play. "

Agree with this entirely - hence the underlying notion of power *exchange*.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Hmm. I'm going against the grain here. I don't think the sub holds all the power. It's a two way relationship. We negotiate what my limits are, but the dominant also specifies what he's comfortable with. Either can stop play. "

Totally agree, if as a sub I have all the power if something goes wrong is it all my fault? No it is not. It should be a mutual agreement between two consenting adults.

Plus Tops/Dom's need aftercare and can suffer drops as much as a sub. Submissive doesn't mean door mat neither does it mean do what I want with no thought or care for their Dom.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"Hmm. I'm going against the grain here. I don't think the sub holds all the power. It's a two way relationship. We negotiate what my limits are, but the dominant also specifies what he's comfortable with. Either can stop play. "

I agree with much of sterob's comments but I agree with you on this point.

People confuse the right to control what happens to one's body with control of the relationship. D/S is about power exchange it is an agreed and consensual power exchange which both the Dom and Sub get what they need out of the power exchange.

So I do what I do because it pleases me, and if I have negotiated correctly and chosen the right submissive/bottom it will please them. I don't do it to please the sub, that is service topping or being topped from the bottom.

I do think the "sub is in control" principle is meant to as a positive statement from the historic treatment of submissives. However modern thinking accepts that most submissives need a relationship with a dominant/top to be able to express their submission. Being in control of the relationship is not (what I would suggest) submission is about, whereas control of their own body and what is allowed to be done to them is part of submissive's control.

As you point out, as dominant I can end the relationship, scene or transaction at any point as well. So it should be a relationship of mutual benefit.

I would add that is my view and people are entitled to their own views.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ouble_The_DelightCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We are a Dom/sub couple who are 24/7 D/s, it's a shame that we are outside your age range as S is a very experienced dominant, we love playing with D/s couples and single submissive females. We wish you well in your search.

k

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top