FabSwingers.com forum: Cocktails before a club?

By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

I believe there are lots of amazing Single Women (and Couples too) who might (understandably) find visiting a club on their own rather daunting. Having been the Host and Master at clubs and events for years, I’ve built a large experience in introducing Couples and Single Ladies to the scene safely, excitingly and in an unpressured, comfortable manner. Do you think most newbies would like to meet for drinks somewhere ‘vanilla’ before going to a club, so there’s both a thrilling build of anticipation, plus the chance to ask questions too? And do you think there’s anything else that might be attractive to or needed by Newbies on their first foray into this arena?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Sounds an interesting idea - commercial or just for fun ?

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

Well, I was thinking of doing it because I adore introducing new people to the scene. But your thought of doing that commercially is intriguing and exciting. Do you think Women and Couples would actually pay be a introduction service?

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

As someone who has run an event pre-drinks for the kink scene, no. In my experience the early part of the evening is socialising and asking questions time, and most events have that built in.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

Great feedback Selkie. That’s exciting you’ve run events. I especially adore the ‘preamble’, as it were, the chance to form a connection, check the chemistry and see if you spark with someone…all really vital.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

I think it’s a great idea!! We’ve only been to one club, once! Worst part is going in & not knowing what to expect! Our experience of the club itself was terrible but that’s just us, it might have been different at a different venue.

Social meet & neutral venue beforehand would certainly break the ice.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Wouldn’t pay though, I’d call that money for old rope !! Few words saying where & when - can manage the rest without being directed

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

Fantastic T & J! Appreciate your positivity and great comment. Agreed, for people new to it all, it can be really tricky and nerve-wracking to enter a club or event, and there’s nothing like making them comfortable, plus reassure them of the importance of consensuality and hygiene. Please add me as a Friend on here (I can’t add you) and look me up if you’re in London.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

It’s ok, just thought I’d add my two pence worth. We wouldn’t be travelling to London for a club.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I've done small group socials and then taken those interested on to a club. It worked well as they were all new together, but recognised each other during the evening. I would never dream of asking for any money.

I also talk about not having too much alcohol for Dutch courage.. things don't work and d*unk people cannot give consent..

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

Yes excellent plan about drinking Lizzie. Agreed, everyone needs to be compos mentis at all times.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I just go on my own snd socialise at the club

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I took Mrs Misfit for a couple of ales and a scotch egg before our first big club visit (wasn't my first time at that club). Don't know if it made any difference as I had to almost push her through the club entrance. Either way it was a great excuse for a good ale and some bar food. And just to note as soon as she in the club she was like a duck to water.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

I think you’re a rare gem to be able to go on your own MsBlue. A lot of people might not be as bold, especially on their first outing.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

You’re clearly a genius Mr Misfit. A couple of Ales and a Scotch egg before a sex club. Priceless. Dinner of sex champions maybe?! Glad the Mrs loved the club and sending you both all my best.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

We’ve started having drinks before heading to CJs in Glasgow. It’s a great way for newbies to meet new people and go up in a group. We often have 20-30 people. We also have a group chat which is great fun.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

Brilliant Fiona! Loving your work. The Glasgow Newbies are fortunate to have you as their guide.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"Great feedback Selkie. That’s exciting you’ve run events. I especially adore the ‘preamble’, as it were, the chance to form a connection, check the chemistry and see if you spark with someone…all really vital."

Yes, but that is what clubs are for?

I’m wondering if there’s a culture difference between northern clubs and southern ones here, because for me, a swingers club is a chance to meet people and socialise with them, not just play with them. It would be easier to make clubs more welcoming than run extra events, surely?

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

We socialise once in the club. Yes they can be nerve-wracking when new, but most soon find their feet. It helps that P is an absolute social butterfly

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

think it’s a great idea!! We’ve only been to one club, once! Worst part is going in & not knowing what to expect! Our experience of the club itself was terrible but that’s just us, it might have been different at a different venue.

Social meet & neutral venue beforehand would certainly break the ice.

Wouldn’t pay though, I’d call that money for old rope !! Few words saying where & when - can manage the rest without being directed

How can something be a good idea and money for old rope

If people are offering up their time to provide a service that will help eliviate nerves, make you feel more comfortable, gone to the time to find a venue (that may charge or have a minimum spend to reserve an area), advertise the event they deserve to be compensated

I agree that I wouldn't want to pay to much as you still have the club entrance fee to consider but you can't think something is a great idea then expect it for free, something minimal like £10pp would seem fair as it will hopefully cover the hosts time and any costs

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't consider £10 to sit in a pub as minimal especially as there will be drinks and the club entrance fee too

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"I don't consider £10 to sit in a pub as minimal especially as there will be drinks and the club entrance fee too"

A lot of people won't, same as a lot of people won't feel the need to attend a pre club meet

But I value the time it takes for someone to arrange & advertise an event (& like I said on a Friday/Saturday night some places charge to reserve an area) so wouldn't expect them to do it for free or be out of pocket, so if I was nervous about attending a club alone I'd be happy to pay a small charge for a service like the original poster was suggesting

Maybe £10 was to high a suggestion it was a value I'd be happy to pay, realistically they'll only probably be a few people interested it's not like they guy would be making £100s out if it, it's just a thank you for his efforts

I've seen socials advertised where they charge for tickets as there's expenses involved, an area, nibbles etc

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

OP, I notice you are only offering this to single women and couples. We get a lot of single men who want to be introduced to the club scene and often we are offered payment so if you are looking at this as a commercial venture maybe that's your route.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"OP, I notice you are only offering this to single women and couples. We get a lot of single men who want to be introduced to the club scene and often we are offered payment so if you are looking at this as a commercial venture maybe that's your route. "

A good suggestion

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Well, I was thinking of doing it because I adore introducing new people to the scene. But your thought of doing that commercially is intriguing and exciting. Do you think Women and Couples would actually pay be a introduction service? "

Why would anyone pay for this?

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 05/03/22 15:40:53]

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@Selkie - I'm not sure about the culture difference, but I do believe that for some newbies, the thought of even stepping into a club for the first time can be exceptionally daunting. Therefore, meeting on 'vanilla ground' might be a way to ease some people in beforehand, plus it's way easier to go somewhere with other people who know the drill...

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@ Sweet & Spice. P sounds a delight. An amazing incentive to bring a butterfly net maybe?!

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@BoobyHotwife - yes good thoughts and most helpful. Agreed that an extra big cost may be off putting. Maybe clubs and events should offer a 'vanilla preamble' before a club night, as an extra option for a small nominal fee, or no extra cost.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@Flik and Paul - wow that's amazing information about Single Men. Yes, maybe that's a commercial vein. We could instruct them about consent, hygiene and dressing well at the same time too

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

"Brilliant Fiona! Loving your work. The Glasgow Newbies are fortunate to have you as their guide."

I can’t take all the credit. Noshrinkingviolet started it, I’m her assistant lol.

I do a regular Fab social at a pub quiz as well and have done so for years now. It’s great for people on business wanting something different and again for newbies. We verify them and give them some insights and top tips about Fab and our local club.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@SallySlinky Agreed

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@_alcon43 Oh that's great Fiona. You deserve an OBE for services to kink...

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@MsBlue If people believed that there was value in a guided introduction to the scene, then they'd pay for it. I'm certain that there are many women / couples / men who might want to attend a club or party, but are too nervous to do so on their own.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Our pre drinks social and quiz is free. Only time we see charges for socials is when they’ve booked a venue, supplying food, etc. People are more likely to turn up if they’ve paid for it and there’s an outlay.

We hope to bust the myths about clubs and parties and make it less daunting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a great idea, and you’re very good at introducing people to the scene

Could it be done inside the club? A separate room maybe?

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@_alcon43 Yes brilliant to demystify the whole secne and make people comfortable.

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@Hippychick Love your comment! You might make me blush and that's my role to do to you - ha ha! I've carried out many intros inside clubs and parties, I still wonder if even the act of turning up to the front entrance of a party / club / event in this space is massively daunting for many...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"@Hippychick Love your comment! You might make me blush and that's my role to do to you - ha ha! I've carried out many intros inside clubs and parties, I still wonder if even the act of turning up to the front entrance of a party / club / event in this space is massively daunting for many..."

It is daunting, but you’re very good at what you do

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Thing about asking here is mostly it’s the wrong people. I climbed and camped mt. Sinai recently with my daughter , at the top we met people who had paid to do it. , obviously we had better kit, beds and meals as we bought it all direct on the mountain. But some people just like to pay someone to help them adventure more easily, I’d say there’s elastic demand you just gotta do something really good , make it a full end to end experience

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By *lphaMaleEngland OP Man
over a year ago

London

@Hippychick - Thanks HC! Looking forward to seeing you again greatly...

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

"@ Sweet & Spice. P sounds a delight. An amazing incentive to bring a butterfly net maybe?!"

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By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

I can't help thinking that it's a bad idea for lone single women to be getting d*unk before going to a club.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I can't help thinking that it's a bad idea for lone single women to be getting d*unk before going to a club."

I thought the point was to socialise. That doesn't necessitate getting pissed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah a drink and a chat is always good fun

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"@Selkie - I'm not sure about the culture difference, but I do believe that for some newbies, the thought of even stepping into a club for the first time can be exceptionally daunting. Therefore, meeting on 'vanilla ground' might be a way to ease some people in beforehand, plus it's way easier to go somewhere with other people who know the drill..."

Absolutely it’s daunting. I’m a shy introvert in person, dating another introvert, I get it. BUT. You need courage to swing. To speak up when there is a problem. To tell people what you do and don’t want. If that’s too difficult, maybe best hold off on swinging while you work on your confidence.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

It’s not daunting, just ask yourself what would happen if I did

And what would happen if you didn’t

Then choose which answer you prefer.

Remember it’s only kinky the first time.

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