FabSwingers.com forum: socials or just dive in?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

after a discussion with another couple I wondered how many people on here insist on a social meet before deciding to go further?? there has been instances where we have had messages from people that appeared quite shocked we didn't jump into bed straight away.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I've done both. It really does depend on the guy I meet.

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By *ance66Man
over a year ago

tewkesbury

From apersonal point of view i prefer to meet socially first to make sure both parties get on anything after is a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its best to arrange a social meet initially but not rule out it going further ...that way its simpler to walk away from it whereas if you have agreed to get up to some fun then meet and its a no-no it can create an awkward situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think its best to arrange a social meet initially but not rule out it going further ...that way its simpler to walk away from it whereas if you have agreed to get up to some fun then meet and its a no-no it can create an awkward situation."

see we hate the pre planning. after all if its going to be fun then spontaneous is the best way! it was more we prefer to ask that the first meet will remain clothes on that some people have had a problem with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remind them when you meet them that there's no guarantees in swinging.#

Reputations are then intact if you do decide not to play, and if you stress socially, then turn it into a play meet, then your meet gets an unexpected and very pleasant bonus - which can be a nice thing to do for someone.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just remind them when you meet them that there's no guarantees in swinging.#

Wolf

that's good advice! thanks. never thought of it from that angle!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"after a discussion with another couple I wondered how many people on here insist on a social meet before deciding to go further?? there has been instances where we have had messages from people that appeared quite shocked we didn't jump into bed straight away. "

the way i look at socials is this...

"great oppotunity to try before you buy!"

some people just want to get down to it... some like to chat and get to know people a bit.... nothing wrong with either!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I like to meet at mine - I feel secure in my own surroundings. But the understanding is that we will chat over a drink and then decide.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like to meet at mine - I feel secure in my own surroundings. But the understanding is that we will chat over a drink and then decide."

we do as well. we have met in public and felt outside our comfort zone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From apersonal point of view i prefer to meet socially first to make sure both parties get on anything after is a bonus"

I prefer to fuck first then, if we get along, go for a drink with them

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"From apersonal point of view i prefer to meet socially first to make sure both parties get on anything after is a bonus

I prefer to fuck first then, if we get along, go for a drink with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just remind them when you meet them that there's no guarantees in swinging.#

That's what I meant lol

Wolf

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I like to meet at mine - I feel secure in my own surroundings. But the understanding is that we will chat over a drink and then decide.

we do as well. we have met in public and felt outside our comfort zone. "

And it can save the embarrassment of being stood up in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We feel that the pre planning and a drink \ social first detracts from the main point of why we do this !

As someone else so eloquently put it - fuck first and if we like them afterwards then socialise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like to meet a couple first tbh, and when I was on here before I ad twice as many meets from socials as sex as could never get time at night for cpls meets. I like the flirtatious side with women, and the laddy humour and banter of me and the husband.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"We feel that the pre planning and a drink \ social first detracts from the main point of why we do this !

As someone else so eloquently put it - fuck first and if we like them afterwards then socialise

but as a single female who has had dodgy experiences (fake pics, lying about age/size/appearance, bad hygiene, no social skills, stalking) I prefer not to be in a locked space with someone I have never met before...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We feel that the pre planning and a drink \ social first detracts from the main point of why we do this !

As someone else so eloquently put it - fuck first and if we like them afterwards then socialise

That is a very good point. Even as a rather bulky man I find it a bit dodgy to meet people straight off the bat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We prefer a social meet first however this has often turned into play if all get on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the key here is flexibility, adaptability and keeping an open mind and your options open!

No two meets tend to be the same and everyone has their preferences. So it's generally working out mutual comfort zones and taking it from there!

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I have done social meets, that were always intended to be that and have never gone further.

I have done socials that have turned to play and i have done meets that were never intended to be anything else other than 'jump straight in' but then we had chatted about that scenario for a few weeks on here.

I suppose we are all different, some people i would be happy to 'go for it' from the start, other people enjoy the chat first.

I suppose my ramblings lead me to one conclusion :-

Do what you are all comfortable with !

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It may be social, but it's not a date.

I'm perfectly capable of getting dates when I want them. I don't use swinging sites to get dates.

A coffee meet is for the two (or more) of us to assess each other and decide if we are comfortable and relaxed and most importantly if we have lust!

I have been known to leave an untouched cup of coffee and slope off to the nearest hotel!

This is the same reason that I don't accom and prefer a first play meet to be in a hotel or a club. There is only so much you can gauge about someone over a coffee and it is possible to like someone at first meet then discover that their sexual style doesn't suit or that their personality changes during sex...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It may be social, but it's not a date.

I'm perfectly capable of getting dates when I want them. I don't use swinging sites to get dates.

A coffee meet is for the two (or more) of us to assess each other and decide if we are comfortable and relaxed and most importantly if we have lust!

I have been known to leave an untouched cup of coffee and slope off to the nearest hotel!

Oh absolutely, and there is always the possibility that a man is simply a good bullshitter and will change as soon as he steps into your flat/house. Safety first

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"We feel that the pre planning and a drink \ social first detracts from the main point of why we do this !

As someone else so eloquently put it - fuck first and if we like them afterwards then socialise

I don't do clubs or hotels, and I share my home with my daughters. There is no way am i inviting strange men into my home without giving them a once over, seeing how they react to me, yes, and their social skills, hygiene too.

I've also found out over a lunch actually that although the person is nice, polite and sociable and I would play with them, something they've said has put me right off. One man had a company that exported goods to Nigeria. He told me he and his business partner had a prostitue as a housekeeper - she could use the house for business when they weren't there but when they were in the country they shared her.

Another just had no social skills whatsoever, and went directly to the bar and bought himself a drink, telling me it wasn't a date...I left him to his drink.

For weeks he kept contacting me for a meet - yeah...right.

I also think for men meeting me they need to be sure I'm not a nut - I don't play "nice" - they need to be sure when I say cbt it doesn't involved me nailing their gonads to the floor and robbing them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a case of different strokes for different folks - although they really should make that clear in their profile if they play on first meet.

We always leave the metaphorical door open on that one and 'go with the flow' on the night. It's always on the basis that if the other couple OR US only wants to make it social, then that's fine (we had to with one meet as Perky became ill early in the evening and couldn't play - which was a pity cos the fem was smokin' !!!

), but if all are comfortable, then we play.

If YOU only feel comfortable meeting socially first then going home and thinking about, then arranging a play meet, then stick to your guns - they're YOUR boundaries and anyone not respecting them is not worth the time and effort...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not something I insist on, it just varies from person to person with me sometimes a social is easier because I'm short of time and its just something we've agreed on which is fine as it gives me something to look forward to the second time I meet them or sometimes I'll just get straight to playing with someone....really does depend on the person for me and I usually find I have much more fun in a sexual and social way with the guys I meet socially first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like a social first, photos can be very miss leading!

if there is no sexual attraction or laughter its just not gonna be a turn on for me (littlebit), so yeah like someone else said try before u buy.

If everyone clicks then why not play after your social lol.... bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet at a club after swapping photos, on the understanding that if the chemistry is right, then we'll go for it that evening.

That way no one has to swap if they don't want to, (the ladies always get to decide!!) but in our experience they always have

Life is too short for endless meets!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have a social 1st, to see if we get on, then let the women decide as we found that if the femmes get on then all is ok.

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By *reybearMan
over a year ago

medway

We also always tell the prospective person(s) that we don't play and then see how we get on before maybe jumping in, but then we have met a lot of single guys at their houses which makes it really easy to switch from coffee mode to rumpy pumpy mode

. Also easier to talk without suddenly realising that the pub/cafe has gone very quiet and all eyes are on you.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From apersonal point of view i prefer to meet socially first to make sure both parties get on anything after is a bonus

I prefer to fuck first then, if we get along, go for a drink with them

One drink just so we know we have the right guy (the one we've arranged to meet) otherwise it could be awkward for some random stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I perfer not to do just a social meet, they never seem to go anywhere, ive never met anyone where ive agreed to meet them just for a social and we have met up again

ive done it a few times where its been just for a drink and when you leave they ask if i want to meet again but never seem to get round to it, its always put off in favour of them meeting someone new, so id sooner them just say straight way they have no interest

So when i meet now its always on the basis we meet for a drink and chat first but play on the same night if we get on, that way im not waiting around like a twat for them to get back to me when they have no intentions of

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We prefer socials first, most lead to follow-up get togethers but occasionally we (or they) don't take things further. On several occasions we've all been keen and have gone straight back to our (or the others) places and played.

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