FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Advice please

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi fabbers so this is the situation I'm in a relationship on here we each have separate profiles but NOT a couples one.

we're looking for a regular female fwb but more for him than me as I'm often away with work would you suggest a couples account and is this something that a woman would be interested in or more a club meet situation?

Please don't be horrible or give "put downs" in comments genuine advice needed thanks guys .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hiya op

If it's more for your partner,than yourself i don't understand how even having a couple's account make much difference.but it is something that you could try...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

If you intend to be meeting a woman as a couple at any point you should make the approach from a couple’s profile, it’s more honest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes we would definitely intend on meeting as a couple as even if I'm not involved sexually/physically I would still like to have rapport with the woman that would be meeting my bf I should have stated that in my post thanks guys

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyeroticaCouple
over a year ago

Ampthill

If meeting as a couple do so through a couples account. In the bio be very clear about what you’re looking for and the dynamics involved.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

From a unicorn’s point of view, the questions I want to know the answers to;

Has he met other people solo since you’ve been together?

Is this a new situation for you?

Do you get jealous?

Why do you want to meet her?

Do you expect monogamy from her?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even with a couples profile you’re going to find it difficult tbh. I think a lot of women would be suspicious of a couples account where it’s mainly the male half meeting.

Maybe your partner could include your profile name on his and say that you can be contacted to verify you are happy for him to meet alone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Even with a couples profile you’re going to find it difficult tbh. I think a lot of women would be suspicious of a couples account where it’s mainly the male half meeting.

Maybe your partner could include your profile name on his and say that you can be contacted to verify you are happy for him to meet alone "

Ah this is a good idea we both just wanted to be open and honest about the situation thank you for your advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Even with a couples profile you’re going to find it difficult tbh. I think a lot of women would be suspicious of a couples account where it’s mainly the male half meeting.

Maybe your partner could include your profile name on his and say that you can be contacted to verify you are happy for him to meet alone "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"From a unicorn’s point of view, the questions I want to know the answers to;

Has he met other people solo since you’ve been together?

Is this a new situation for you?

Do you get jealous?

Why do you want to meet her?

Do you expect monogamy from her?

"

Yes he's met people solo only one for sex before fab the rest were a coffee with a follow up meet after no sex but other stuff.

It's not new exactly but would be if she was a regular

No I don't get jealous part of the reason I would want to meet is so they knew it was a genuine situation and also to get some rapport so I wasnt totally oblivious to what was going on as for the monogamy on her part we wouldn't want someone that was seeing multiple partners (obvious reasons) but also wanted the same situation no strings a genuine fwb it sounds insane I know but we know to an extent it works we would just rather it be with one person than multiple women.

I'm happy to answer any questions the monogamy one is giving me something to think about thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"From a unicorn’s point of view, the questions I want to know the answers to;

Has he met other people solo since you’ve been together?

Is this a new situation for you?

Do you get jealous?

Why do you want to meet her?

Do you expect monogamy from her?

Yes he's met people solo only one for sex before fab the rest were a coffee with a follow up meet after no sex but other stuff.

It's not new exactly but would be if she was a regular

No I don't get jealous part of the reason I would want to meet is so they knew it was a genuine situation and also to get some rapport so I wasnt totally oblivious to what was going on as for the monogamy on her part we wouldn't want someone that was seeing multiple partners (obvious reasons) but also wanted the same situation no strings a genuine fwb it sounds insane I know but we know to an extent it works we would just rather it be with one person than multiple women.

I'm happy to answer any questions the monogamy one is giving me something to think about thank you "

The monogamy bit kinda jumps out.

Meet through a swingers site or in a swingers club and then ask them not to be a swinger?

I think you'll find that situation hard enough to find as it is but then asking a swinger to be exclusive is unfair to them isn't it?

Certainly something to think about.

Good luck x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"From a unicorn’s point of view, the questions I want to know the answers to;

Has he met other people solo since you’ve been together?

Is this a new situation for you?

Do you get jealous?

Why do you want to meet her?

Do you expect monogamy from her?

Yes he's met people solo only one for sex before fab the rest were a coffee with a follow up meet after no sex but other stuff.

It's not new exactly but would be if she was a regular

No I don't get jealous part of the reason I would want to meet is so they knew it was a genuine situation and also to get some rapport so I wasnt totally oblivious to what was going on as for the monogamy on her part we wouldn't want someone that was seeing multiple partners (obvious reasons) but also wanted the same situation no strings a genuine fwb it sounds insane I know but we know to an extent it works we would just rather it be with one person than multiple women.

I'm happy to answer any questions the monogamy one is giving me something to think about thank you

The monogamy bit kinda jumps out.

Meet through a swingers site or in a swingers club and then ask them not to be a swinger?

I think you'll find that situation hard enough to find as it is but then asking a swinger to be exclusive is unfair to them isn't it?

Certainly something to think about.

Good luck x"

Thank you and yes it definitely is something that we'd need to discuss together and with the right person it would be on a situation basis I guess. Maybe I'm expected too much but at least if nothing else there's been some positive advice so thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

It a difficult situation when a man also has a regular partner (as if it's not enough when alone). I would suggest keep the singles profiles and make a couples profile. Let him (and yourself if your still open to solo efforts) explain the dynamic on his profile and to reference your couples profile in order for people to check out his story and you as a couple. Hopefully they will see he is genuine and you are both happy and secure together and with this arrangement.

Unfortunately being part of a couple but playing as a single man is still difficult even when women know the arrangement is genuine and his partner is 100% OK with it. Because a lot of women are funny about another woman's man or feeling a guy is not theirs when he is with her in that time and space. I think this is often not conscious thing or something they'd openly say but something that does exist especially with single women. However not all doom and gloom because for some women faithful secure attached guys are perfect and hopefully offer the prospect of less complications. Often I think this appeals to likewise faithful attached females playing alone. Because you are both coming from the same place, without complications and both understanding the dynamic.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you so much for this advice I was starting to give up lol the advice has been great from everyone! I feel on most sites here included that totally honesty can be thrown back in your face we will be doing a couples account( Great another profile that will be 2 pages long!) and keep our own too, if it works great but if not, at least we've tried and we'll carry on with the clubs where if nothing else at least we can get verified as a couple and meet some lovely people along the way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

As a woman, I would want to know he has your permission to play alone and isn't cheating.

Depends what dynamic you want too... Like the cuckqueen/cake scenario.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray


"Yes we would definitely intend on meeting as a couple as even if I'm not involved sexually/physically I would still like to have rapport with the woman that would be meeting my bf I should have stated that in my post thanks guys"

I actually think you might struggle with this one purely because there are so many single men posing a couples profile..then when a meet is arranged they say that the female can't make it but I'm here now...its a difficult one for you OP. I think your opening msg would have explain what the situation straight away amd offer a video call as proof.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Have a couples account and reference your solo accounts and vice versa.

When meeting a couple or fem where both of you are involved, use your couples account.

When meeting a fem on your own, use your singles account.

This way you or him won't come across as disingenuous, plenty of couples play as singles here and have individual profiles.

Approaching someone as a couple and then saying only male will play is a bit annoying and a way of working around filters.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't"

You can never rule it out as all human life is here, but the chances of finding someone who wants that and also meets all the other usual mutual requirements seem very low.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You may have more success on some of the more traditional dating sites as what you have described sounds more like a poly dynamic (or at least ENM) which may be at odds with some peoples interest in swinging.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't

You can never rule it out as all human life is here, but the chances of finding someone who wants that and also meets all the other usual mutual requirements seem very low."

If you search around there's hundreds meeting but not posting on the forums. From my experience it's not uncommon for people to be monogamous if you are honest about what you here for.

I've had a long term fwb who played with others, and I'd say three or four fwb who were monogamous whilst knowing I were seeing others. They didn't want a relationship but seeing someone regular or who they got on with was what they wanted most.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't"

There is at least one dating site that is designed for couples to find a third (and vice versa). This sounds more like polygamy (multiple partners, in an exclusive relationship) than swinging, but they might find someone who is looking for something similar.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't

You can never rule it out as all human life is here, but the chances of finding someone who wants that and also meets all the other usual mutual requirements seem very low.

If you search around there's hundreds meeting but not posting on the forums. From my experience it's not uncommon for people to be monogamous if you are honest about what you here for.

I've had a long term fwb who played with others, and I'd say three or four fwb who were monogamous whilst knowing I were seeing others. They didn't want a relationship but seeing someone regular or who they got on with was what they wanted most."

Even if there are ‘hundreds’, as previously stated once you factor in the other mutual requirements such as geography, availability, attraction and trust, the realistic number to meet who seek this particular arrangement will be tiny.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Personally I steer clear of this type of situation. When I meet couples I expect both to be actively involved, if its just the male half playing then it's far less complicated to meet a single man. The only exception to this is where I've known, and played with, the couple for some time then I have occasionally met the male half alone but that has always been pre-arranged with the female half.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't

You can never rule it out as all human life is here, but the chances of finding someone who wants that and also meets all the other usual mutual requirements seem very low.

If you search around there's hundreds meeting but not posting on the forums. From my experience it's not uncommon for people to be monogamous if you are honest about what you here for.

I've had a long term fwb who played with others, and I'd say three or four fwb who were monogamous whilst knowing I were seeing others. They didn't want a relationship but seeing someone regular or who they got on with was what they wanted most.

Even if there are ‘hundreds’, as previously stated once you factor in the other mutual requirements such as geography, availability, attraction and trust, the realistic number to meet who seek this particular arrangement will be tiny."

I don't disagree the OP's request does sound a bit a fantasy, if not poly than fwb. It's odd too that they don't want a woman that has played the field but are happy for the man to. I may have been coming at it from a singles angle..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I believe that was covered. But thanks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes we would definitely intend on meeting as a couple as even if I'm not involved sexually/physically I would still like to have rapport with the woman that would be meeting my bf I should have stated that in my post thanks guys

I actually think you might struggle with this one purely because there are so many single men posing a couples profile..then when a meet is arranged they say that the female can't make it but I'm here now...its a difficult one for you OP. I think your opening msg would have explain what the situation straight away amd offer a video call as proof."

Thank you advice noted

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have a couples account and reference your solo accounts and vice versa.

When meeting a couple or fem where both of you are involved, use your couples account.

When meeting a fem on your own, use your singles account.

This way you or him won't come across as disingenuous, plenty of couples play as singles here and have individual profiles.

Approaching someone as a couple and then saying only male will play is a bit annoying and a way of working around filters."

This is really helpful thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't see the single woman agreeing to be monogamous, especially when the man isn't

You can never rule it out as all human life is here, but the chances of finding someone who wants that and also meets all the other usual mutual requirements seem very low.

If you search around there's hundreds meeting but not posting on the forums. From my experience it's not uncommon for people to be monogamous if you are honest about what you here for.

I've had a long term fwb who played with others, and I'd say three or four fwb who were monogamous whilst knowing I were seeing others. They didn't want a relationship but seeing someone regular or who they got on with was what they wanted most."

Thank you for this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The women he's played with before have known about me but didn't want to know about me (which is fair enough) I am happy with this as long as they are, I just thought a more upfront and open profile from my perspective would make it more appealing knowing that I was giving permission but if the women prefer to "know Not to know " then I guess I'll leave it, but the advice on the couples profile we'll try, there has been been some great advice and of course the judgement from some as always is to be expected but at least its been informative have a fab weekend guys

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

What is it that makes you a couple ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top