FabSwingers.com forum: Getting over the meeting Nerves

By * and R OP Couple
over a year ago

lincoln

We have been swinging for a number of years clubs, parties and meets. We both love it and have had some great experiences. My wife though always gets nervous before any planned event. I can understand this but I do get fed up of the premeeting argument. We both know that once she gets there she will relax and before the night is out her inner slut will have taken over and we will both of had a good night.

Individual meets have always been the biggest problem as the odd time wasters add to the nerves. Well to get round this I made arrangements for a meeting withjout her knowing. The guy was briefed that he should just chat her up as if it was just a casual meeting in the bar where we were. He knew that there was no guarantee of sex unless she was interested. On the evening we got chatting and yes she fancied him so we wnt back to his and had a great evening. Following on from that I did the same thing with another guy that we have played with before. Again I let him know where we were, he came over as if we just happened to be in the same bar and we went back to his for a play.

So now we can go out with nothing planned for a "sexual" encounter, Rachel doesn't get wound up worrying beforehand and added to that gets a confidence boost from being chatted up.

As it seems to be working out for all parties will keep doing it. Would love to hear from any couples who are up for having a go. Rach is very bi and if chatted up by another woman would definitely go for it. So if you like the look of us and fancy your chances drop me a line and I'll see what I can arrange.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear.

So whenever she knows about it then it causes arguements.

If she's had a drink or two then she's more likely to say yes?

Does it sound like something she really wants to be doing?

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

The meeting by surprise I did wonder about myself, but that seems to work okay. Sounds like the expectations of what happens grow into worries and frustrations if you argue. The more time she has to dwell on things the more it seems a worrying thing and causes you two to have words. I think it might be something that'll settle down eventually. You'll just have to do it in her own time and at her pace. May introducing meets with a little ahead planning gradually leading to things planned well in advance and see how it goes. Going to non-pressure events with ahead planning might be a way too.

Good luck anyway, she's definitely the most important one in this, and it's important for you both to move together, however long the other one has to catch up.

Wolf

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By * and R OP Couple
over a year ago

lincoln

No it's not because of drink, as she doesn't drink much. It works because she is relaxed doesn't feel pressured and knows that we have a relationship where we are secure enough to be able to swing. Like I said on both occasions there was no pressure for her to agree to anything. All decisions on taking things to a sexual level where down to her.

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By * and R OP Couple
over a year ago

lincoln

Thanks Wolf, we have been involved in the scene for long enough to know each other and Rachel is the first to admit that she loves it but just can't get oer the pre nerves. Once we arrive at the club or party she relaxes and gets involved. From that point on all sex and play is at her choice and she is well up for it all.

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