FabSwingers.com forum: How do you get verified if nobody chats with you??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sending lots of messages to people but not even one person has replied. Now I'm thinking maybe people are reluctant to engage because I'm not verified, which begs the question how am I supposed to get people to verify me if nobody will chat with me? I'm wondering if anybody else has experienced this and how they managed to get around it? I've also got lots of videos I'd like to post but you can't post videos unless you've got a green verification tick??? Grrrr it's so frustrating someone please help!!!

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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago

West Mids

"Ok so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sending lots of messages to people but not even one person has replied. Now I'm thinking maybe people are reluctant to engage because I'm not verified, which begs the question how am I supposed to get people to verify me if nobody will chat with me? I'm wondering if anybody else has experienced this and how they managed to get around it? I've also got lots of videos I'd like to post but you can't post videos unless you've got a green verification tick??? Grrrr it's so frustrating someone please help!!!"

The competition is very very stiff.

Maybe your profile hasn't appealed to anyone.

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Best to go to clubs ..

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By *heekyflickWoman
over a year ago

LINCOLN

Chat rooms and get cam verified...local socials and clubs etc...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Said your sending lots of messages, are you sending boring generic ones to everyone? People get 100s of mails per day and honestly they get boring all the hello how are you kind of messages, i start to loose the will to live

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.

You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use the search facility on the forums, to find out what's happening in your area....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.

Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common

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By *ina VonteeseTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

"If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.

You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue."
spot on!

Visit a venue socialise and go with no expectations. Normally takes a few visits to become familiar and build some credibility.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Unf that life on here. Go to a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.

Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common

I wouldnt say treated like dirt am never nasty to any man unlike some who cant take rejection well, i understand its hard being male on here but wouldnt say men are treated like dirt

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Jesus wept lol, The usaul suspects ! Experts on swinging pmsl

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Jesus wept lol, The usaul suspects ! Experts on swinging pmsl"

And you are pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message only those where YOU match their requirements and be specific and make absolute sure you have read their profile first

Do also remember , this is a competition to get noticed , us men far outnumber the ladies

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Going to a club is your best bet.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

OP: have you tried searching for local verified guys? Nothing wrong with a verification that says you went for a beer - we don't take seriously verifications that blather on about performance, but do like to see that someone has proven they are who they say they are, and will venture out of the house and away from the webcam.

Also - local socials.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus wept lol, The usaul suspects ! Experts on swinging pmsl"

Well we've been and we've conquered so yes experts ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jesus wept lol, The usaul suspects ! Experts on swinging pmsl"

Why the need for such a sarcastic reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs and socials go to one of those

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hi op

You've mentioned that you send loads of messages and get no response,but are these with those whom you may have something in similar interests and whilst you are a site supporter maybe additional pictures.the bio is important as much as the approach in a message that may lead anywhere keep it none sexual as sex of any kind is a bonus so find a connection arrange a social with no ties engage in the forums as it's a great way to connect with others...

Good luck pal

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Go to socials, clubs, or even the cam rooms and ask somebody to verify you.

Make sure that messages you send are individual and appropriate to who you're sending them to.

Make sure your profile is well written, with good pictures, grammar and punctuation so it is easy-to-read.

The people who do check you out will be more likely interested and want to know about you

Also being verified is really not the holy grail, to some people it matters, to thers, it doesn't.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

OP, looks like you've been here for quite a long time (cue: one of the pics is 2018) and still has not managed to grasp what this site is about. Why don't you delete this profile and start over? Get some fresh, appealing photos, work on your bio, have a think what you actually want from this site and go from there

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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago

West Mids

"Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.

Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common

There is a large number of single guys who get treated exactly the way they deserve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vast majority of men are treated like dirt on here.

Don't doubt yourself too much as your experience is common

Cause they let themselves be treated that way !

Your still right

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By *orsetCouple777Couple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Perhaps you could look at improving your profile. I appreciate it's a subjective matter, but if you are getting zero replies then I would consider this option.

Personally I don't need to hear guys say they are good looking or well endowed. The pictures should show this for themselves.

Women have plenty of choice on here. Good luck

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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago

West Mids

"Perhaps you could look at improving your profile. I appreciate it's a subjective matter, but if you are getting zero replies then I would consider this option.

Personally I don't need to hear guys say they are good looking or well endowed. The pictures should show this for themselves.

Women have plenty of choice on here. Good luck"

We agree.

Most guys who describe themselves as good looking are normally quite the opposite.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Why not sign up for an organised social? You'll meet plenty of people in one night, get verified, make potential contacts for the future and might even get lucky on the night.

One nights effort has got to be better than being on the site for three years and being ignored?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.

You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue."

Absolutely agree with this if you are looking for verifications but once you start going to socials and clubs you won't need them anyway as you'll be at the very least be a social swinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps you could look at improving your profile. I appreciate it's a subjective matter, but if you are getting zero replies then I would consider this option.

Personally I don't need to hear guys say they are good looking or well endowed. The pictures should show this for themselves.

Women have plenty of choice on here. Good luck

We agree.

Most guys who describe themselves as good looking are normally quite the opposite."

I think I’m good looking bloke

Your right doesn’t mean I am but I genuinely believe it and that’s a good thing not cocky just self assured no matter how many rejections you get on here or in real life where it matters

I still think it

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Said your sending lots of messages, are you sending boring generic ones to everyone? People get 100s of mails per day and honestly they get boring all the hello how are you kind of messages, i start to loose the will to live

This is absolutely true. You can spot a generic cut and paste job a mile off. Response? Block

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I agree with the poster who suggested deleting your profile and starting afresh. People receiving your messages will wonder why you haven't been verified in over three years.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

Best to go to a club and get personally verified , we don’t meet up or bother with anyone who hasn’t been verified by actual meets , as there are so so many time wasters on here who can talk the talk but not walk the walk as so to speak , you will find that people who attend clubs or socials will have more luck and fun on the swinging scene

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By *he FAB Social - MCRCouple (FF)
over a year ago

manchester

"Why not sign up for an organised social? You'll meet plenty of people in one night, get verified, make potential contacts for the future and might even get lucky on the night.

One nights effort has got to be better than being on the site for three years and being ignored?"

This. A million percent

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Although I’m not a long standing fab member, I would recommend a slightly more unassuming bio perhaps? Also, some better photos, I’m not put off by the fact you smoke, just that in your pics, you look like a smoker which does put me off! I’m trying to be diplomatic! Your profile doesn’t match the photos x

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

OP the vast majority of posts have provided your answers.

I will summarise:

Have a good profile - be descriptive in text and images. Look at other successful profiles for hints and tips.

Networking online - get involved with forums, chat rooms. Be seen. People will get to know you and your personality

Networking offline - get involved in phyiscal events, organised socials, clubs. Be seen. Be active. People will get to know you.

Swinging is all about being part of the community and being trusted within that community.

The more active you are, the bigger the network, the more you are seen, the more people will want to see you.

You can try messaging until you are blue in the face. If you are not active in the scene. You will always fall short.

Best regards Amelia.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Meet socially, including at clubs

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

Your best bet is to visit clubs or social events near you. Best of luck though

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By *anndelCouple
over a year ago

farnborough hants

Having just read your profile it does seem to be telling the world that you are good looking, well endowed etc etc. From our point of view as a couple it just makes us think your quite up yourself and that immediately puts us off.

As a couple we sometimes get 150+ messages a day, we do try and reply to everyone as manners cost nothing and, we always read someone’s profile. If the profile is full of the “big I am” it’s an immediate turn off for us, especially as experience has shown there is often a pushy guy on the end of said profile.

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By *_yeahPartiesCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Chat rooms and get cam verified...local socials and clubs etc..."

Although not all socials accept unverified profiles

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Ditto the advice given above, go to a club or group social to get verified

Look at the messages your sending, are they generic or personalised, check your profile, woukd it grab your attention, is there anything you can add, takeaway that would make it stand out more

Sadly men outnumber women & couples something like 100 to 1 on here so it's never gonna be easy on here for a single guy

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

I'll only verify someone who I've chatted with in the bi directing chat room. And I must have seen them on cam and have some rapport with.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Are your messages actually worth replying to? We had one that said "Hey you" and nothing else. His photo gallery was of his cock and his profile text was two lines basically saying he wanted a shag.

This is the most common type of message we get and it's an instant delete. It's just not worth replying to.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

OP: "im 45 but look act and feel more like seventeen"....we certainly don't want to chat to or meet a seventeen year old.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a swingers club and meet actual swingers and don't rely just on the internet.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"OP: "im 45 but look act and feel more like seventeen"....we certainly don't want to chat to or meet a seventeen year old.

(Bry)"

This^^

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Truth be told I've pretty much stopped sending messages, even though I try to get them right. Harsh as it sounds as a single guy you're pretty much wasting your time fella.

As others have said going to organised socials and clubs where its not 'clicky' will do you a power of good, as long as you treat people the way you would in an average wine bar. Be friendly, smile, never pushy and be YOU.

A fella I know did a good post on this a few days ago and he's your typical tall, dark and handsome type of chap, but also a really nice guy - and the women all love him. I on the other hand am a short, bald guy and don't get the kind of attention guys crave on here - BUT as I do go to socials and do go to clubs I have a circle of friends who it's a pleasure to be around - AND I've been lucky enough to have fun on a regular basis with some of them.

Moral of the story is get out and get seen in person. If it works for me it'll work for the vast majority of men. I'm no Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but I know from the responses I get that I am successful compared to many.

.......and stay classy - no matter what! The women on here deserve it, as do their partners if it's a couple you're talking to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.......and stay classy - no matter what! The women on here deserve it, as do their partners if it's a couple you're talking to. "

What great advice! There’s no magic answer but clearly your approach works.

Other guys…. take note!

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

.......and stay classy - no matter what! The women on here deserve it, as do their partners if it's a couple you're talking to.

What great advice! There’s no magic answer but clearly your approach works.

Other guys…. take note!

Ty!

xxxx

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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago

Buckley North Wales

We have to echo the other comments the best way to get verified is go to clubs and socials.

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"Best to go to clubs .."

Yes agree easier to engage with people and yes its difficult if people don't want to chat they won't

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By *al kalMan
over a year ago

london

"If you want to take swinging seriously, go to clubs.

You can find out about the scene and make friends at the venue.spot on!

Visit a venue socialise and go with no expectations. Normally takes a few visits to become familiar and build some credibility. "

This is golden advice…

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

You can't be verified by just chatting to someone via msgs...however you are just one of a very very long line of men who are having this same problem..try a club to start with

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"I agree with the poster who suggested deleting your profile and starting afresh. People receiving your messages will wonder why you haven't been verified in over three years. "

Defianlty this^^ if we look at a profile and it says they joined even a year ago and still have no verifications then we pass them by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m glad I’m not the only guy on here with the same issue,

I’m new to this and I’m making it up as I go along, which is very amateurish!

I think us guys wish we were Mel Gibson and know what women want lol!

My profile is lame and there’s more to me than just my cock and I too will need to look at getting out there to some of the meetings to make new experiences with beautiful people happen.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"I’m glad I’m not the only guy on here with the same issue,

I’m new to this and I’m making it up as I go along, which is very amateurish!

I think us guys wish we were Mel Gibson and know what women want lol!

My profile is lame and there’s more to me than just my cock and I too will need to look at getting out there to some of the meetings to make new experiences with beautiful people happen. "

If you know there's more to tou than just your cock, maybe make all the cock pics private.

Winston

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