FabSwingers.com forum: A thread for "unicorns"

By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

Hello fellow bisexual single women. Does anyone else hate the term unicorn? Makes me feel like I should have a dildo sticking out my forehead. And the amount of couples who want me to come in and play a role, be a sexy minx, don't care about what I want or enjoy, and definitely don't want me involved with any form of care or cuddle afterwards. I am TIRED of it!

Any positive stories to keep my faith strong? I love meeting good couples but they're so hard to find

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By *aughtyandNicecplCouple
over a year ago

south wales

We are pretty new to Fab so not got a lot of experience and are still learning a lot but have never liked the term Unicorn. It always makes it sound like we’re looking for somebody to just ‘serve our needs’ and that’s not the case at all.

We’re a very much in love and passionate couple and we just want a single lady that can join in and share that passion in every way with us. We have sent some messages but don’t get much luck as we totally get that all the single ladies on here must get bombarded and we don’t really stand out as any different to anybody else.

We had one experience before joining Fab where a single lady joined us and it was amazing, really passionate and felt like we just added another person to us a couple so don’t lose faith that there are good experiences to be had.

We are just going to try and meet ladies at clubs now and try and let things happen more naturally as we find it’s so much better to judge people face to face than via a message. Xx

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By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

That is so heartening to hear, my fav is when I get to share in a couples connection and us being together enhances it for everyone.

I very much do prefer meeting people at clubs, you're right it feels much more organic!

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By *exandthesuburbans83Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

Sorry to hear the fact that people haven't treated you properly or even equal.

Part of the fun for us is the social before and then the chats after.

We have a friend we have played with a couple of times and each time we have finished the sex side, we have sat in bed chatting, cuddles and having laugh and have gone for coffee or a drink before. I guess it depends on the couple and their approach but quite a few seem transactional (which isn't wrong if that's what you are into, but isn't us as we like the social side too). For us, it builds up the anticipation and intimacy.

Hope you have better fortunes. Wonder if its even worth asking up front or suggesting that you like that element of it.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Forehead dildo

That’s my next picture idea sorted.

Initially, yes. I did have a phase of feeling like a performing seal. So I went Fab straight and just had straight MFF for years which remedied the issue somewhat.

My bi side could no longer hide though and I found that by expressing my needs clearly, the couple got an understanding of how to treat me with the same respect and care I aim to give them. It’s not an issue anymore. I’m not a unicorn, I’m a narwhal.

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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We've never been a fan of the 'unicorn' concept either, particularly not the notion that they are just there as a sex toy for the couple. We like to get everyone involved on an equal level - be that socialising, during play or hanging out, cuddling up and chatting afterwards. For us it's absolutely vital that all three (or four, or more) have an awesome time and experience together - even more so than the actual act itself.

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By *agertha73Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

It's not for us. We like getting to know people. If things go further, then they do. If not, that's fine too. Serendipity and all that.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

We’re here for fun, not for pray, shows or trophies.

Think our verifications confirm this, that and the ladies who are more than happy to join with us again and again.

Suspect having a very bi wife helps.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I hate it too

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Sorry op that you've been made to feel like this x noone should feel used or wanted purely for a fix/toy x if there is even an air of that then block block block x

We are always looking for a lovely lady to join us but its soo hard due to the sheer volume of messages single ladies get. We go to clubs but single ladies are few and far between when we go lol x

We would love to be able to share ourselves and our passion with someone and certainly don't expect them to put on a show for hubby at all! That would make us quite uncomfortable x

Tbf we would probably make the whole meet about her and what she wanted as we like to please and to do that together would be awesome x

we've had plenty of fmfm but the elusive mff is still on the fuckit list lol x

It will happen one day and will hopefully be magical when we find the right woman x x

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

"Hello fellow bisexual single women. Does anyone else hate the term unicorn? Makes me feel like I should have a dildo sticking out my forehead. And the amount of couples who want me to come in and play a role, be a sexy minx, don't care about what I want or enjoy, and definitely don't want me involved with any form of care or cuddle afterwards. I am TIRED of it!

Any positive stories to keep my faith strong? I love meeting good couples but they're so hard to find

Did just note tho you have the term unicorn in your bio? X

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By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

Did just note tho you have the term unicorn in your bio? X "

Yeah, I hate it though. I use it because it's "swingers lingo" but maybe I should be me and just bin it off!

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Did just note tho you have the term unicorn in your bio? X

Yeah, I hate it though. I use it because it's "swingers lingo" but maybe I should be me and just bin it off!"

Absolutely!!! Don't change who you are to accommodate ANYONE! Do you and screw anyone who disagrees x or not

x sorry couldn't resist x x x x

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Mrs j lived with a girl and has had previous girlfriends

So we feel that we are well in tune with what a single bi lady can bring and what we can offer , unicorn doesn't do if for us , but we understand its popularity

We look to make sure everyone is involved and definitely dont like the idea of 2 ladies putting in a show

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By *pectressWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

Any positive stories to keep my faith strong? I love meeting good couples but they're so hard to find

It’s genuinely the reason I don’t look to or plan to meet couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been on and off here for 10 years and have often found myself feeling just like you! You certainly learn to toughen up and be more selective about the people you meet.

I agree it is incredibly hard to find those people that don’t see you as disposable and sadly the more “mainstream” swinging becomes the worse it seems to get! Thankfully I have recently found an incredible couple that I love, they are inclusive, trusting, accommodating, generous and more importantly my friends. They are as much concerned about my well being away from play as my partner is!

So they are out there you just have to be patient and don’t ever compromise yourself for others

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

This has also been the attitude I have picked up so I haven't indulged yet. Couples it's not all about you and your rules!

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By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

Well its heartening to see 1) I'm not alone in this feeling, and 2) so many couples recognise its horseshit! I'm glad we single women have space to talk about this stuff through fab

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

We have met a lot of single ladies (mostly in clubs) and always found just treating them like people not pray, (for the want of a better word) has helped us make some very good friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went fab straight for a while and am kinda rethinking admitting my bi side atm.

Couples are coming across as entitled, as if all it takes is a picture of ‘her’ and ‘hi’ and I’ll be their fuck toy.

Having read a couple say the definition of a unicorn is a woman couples can use on another thread, I decided I’m not one of those.

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By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

"I went fab straight for a while and am kinda rethinking admitting my bi side atm.

Couples are coming across as entitled, as if all it takes is a picture of ‘her’ and ‘hi’ and I’ll be their fuck toy.

Having read a couple say the definition of a unicorn is a woman couples can use on another thread, I decided I’m not one of those.

A woman they can use?! Fuck off!!! If they want a specific service, then swinging is not the place to be. Sex work is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went fab straight for a while and am kinda rethinking admitting my bi side atm.

Couples are coming across as entitled, as if all it takes is a picture of ‘her’ and ‘hi’ and I’ll be their fuck toy.

Having read a couple say the definition of a unicorn is a woman couples can use on another thread, I decided I’m not one of those.

A woman they can use?! Fuck off!!! If they want a specific service, then swinging is not the place to be. Sex work is. "

They were pulled up for it. They then suggested that was how the term ‘unicorn’ is viewed in bdsm.

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By *angbangFantasyWoman
over a year ago

London

Don't specifically seek couples and mostly ignore messages from them as have had bad experiences with couples in the past.

Have had nice unexpected experiences with couples at clubs or parties.

Less pressure and no expectations, feels more natural.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

new to this and like seeing positivty on this site as there is too much negativity. yes we know the unicorn lingo but to me it should make no diference as adding somone in, should be for eveyones pleasure and no one should feel left out.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

We were once known as a gem couple and like the unicorn thinking it dropping out favour so chill you be fine..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate unicorn..... because us single ladies are actually real and about in the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We were once known as a gem couple and like the unicorn thinking it dropping out favour so chill you be fine.."

What’s a gem couple? Or was? That’s one I’ve not heard before.

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By *adgets.and.GizmosCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

For us the social part is really important and that we are also good friends so go for drinks and food together. But we also ensure we are all equally involved and no one is left out. As a long term married couple, we like to get to know someone first beforehand.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We’re not fans of the term ‘unicorn’ either, for a variety of reasons, the main one bring it’s dehumanising. It also doesn’t make much sense, as finding bi women who want to play with a couple is not really uncommon on Fab at all.

That said, there are plenty of women on Fab who love the term. Like anything on here, there are as many people who will embrace something as run a mile from it…it’s all just preference.

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By *r OreoMan
over a year ago

Croydon

When I used to be part of a couple who would only meet girls as my partner was very bi, it was always a social thing first - dinner, drinks and a laugh so everyone could relax and chill, and then let the evening unfold as it would.

It was about bringing someone in to add to what we had for a period of time and that we all enjoyed the time together.

Worked really well!

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By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We haven't met any single ladies of here, but have enjoyed the company of someone we know. Was just how we wanted things to go, all three having a good time and going with the flow, not a scripted feeling and everyone involved for everyone's pleasure.

When we get chance to meet another bi female we would want the same experience really. None of this your here for us or we're here for you, it's for all of us to enjoy. Ideally chill out afterwards and chat/snuggle (non romantic of course) stay the night ect, but if they wanted to gallop into the night (unicorn reference) then that's ok aswell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never described myself as a unicorn. The threesome dynamic is a weird one. So many pitfalls. On the positive side, Ive met some lovely couples on fab, some have become firm friends. The sex is great but being friends is also really nice.

It can feel a little bit like them (the couple) vs you. You just have to be forthright about what you want, and hopefully all three people manage a happy compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind it. I'd quite like to be a mythical creature.

Yes I get the messages about male would like to watch me play. Never chatted, never met. Totally disrespectful.

I find nice couples in clubs.

It is hard finding them here and I won't dwell on less fortunate situations

I find couple play better in clubs.

I have got on with one couple on here and we've two further dates planned and it was the fem I chatted to initially. It's hard to get past male chatting she never comes on here

There will always be people that don't match and I daresay my better times are 50/50 but it's worth digging for the better times X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've yet to play with a couple as a single female but am charring to a couple (of couples) and now I'm worrying I need to look for certain things.

What would you have liked someone to tell you when you were new to this side of the lifestyle? Not new to it all just the "unicorn" side x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*chatting not charring

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By *essicagrace OP Woman
over a year ago

birmingham

Honestly on reading this thread and seeing the nicer couple profiles I'm feeling muuuuuch better and even have a couple date set up for tomorrow!

I reckon my first piece of advice is don't fucking watch mff porn, it gives you nothing but the wrong idea. And work out what you want from a meet. I know that being able to hang out after and talk and have a drink and a cuddle is really important. I don't accept being a pump and dump to men, why would I take it from a couple? But also, ask about the couples dynamic. Work out what their boundaries are. And boundaries are ok. But you need to know them to see if your needs and boundaries are compatible or not.

I guess the issue I have is couples approaching me only asking if I'll do what they want. Why not ask what someone else is looking for hey?

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