FabSwingers.com forum: Wife being more dominant

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Here goes

Me and the wife have been talking over the last year about her taking control and making me the sub. Not just sexually but I really love the thought of the women leading the relationship and feeling like she is the queen of the house. Giving her all powers of everything.

Problem: I have constantly found it hard and sometimes don’t realise it’s happening that I decline some of the things she says and I just really wish there was a way of training myself to be better for her. I want to be her “good little boy”

She’s experimented with spanking me with the paddle and having my cock locked in chastity as is currently but just find it hard to let go.

Anyone else like this or have any suggestions?

L xx

By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I think this raises a number of interesting points, and here is my take on them.

Natural Dominants and Natural Submissives:There is an assumption that once a person self identifies in a role, that is it. However, both roles are not easy. Most submissives are not doormats, and most dominants are not all- knowing. Therefore there is normally a dynamic tension. That is why there should be prior discussion and negotiating as to which areas of a relationship power is relinquished. To say that total power is handed over, is similar to subs/ bottoms who say they do anything and anything can be done to them. The reality is that most people have lines that can't be crossed.

Therefore the discussion requires complete honesty, if a person holds back, speed bumps will be hit sooner rather than later.

Dealing with poor behaviour: firstly as NiceCouple allude to,the responsibility for poor behaviour is the dominant. Punishment is one aspect, training is another aspect, but understanding the submissives's reluctance is the most important matter. Followed second by an understanding of the appropriate motivators for that sub/bottom. There is no one size fits all answer. If appropriate punishment and training will help modify behaviour they should be implemented. Encouragement and praise are equally good tools. However, if the reluctance is fundamental then the ambit of the relationship may need to be considered. There can be a big gulf between fantasy and reality.

If you want to work on yourself there books and websites that offer tools such as mindfulness and mantras.

Good luck