FabSwingers.com forum: Unread Messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

do people really receive 100s and 100s of messages? always frustrates me when my messages unread and i make effort to read mine. but I hear sometimes that's they receive so many that they just delete. defeats the object of being on here doesn't it lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. We answer all of ours. And that's normally a few a week.

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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Yes, they do and most of the ones I get are from people who haven't read my 'looking for' let alone read my profile, and I ignore most of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats the result of men out numbering women and couples by 100s per the % s

we get loads then count in my singles account theres no chance im answering all for every 100 messages we /i get i doubt there will be a good writen one and then someone ill be sexually attracted to as well ...add on when you say no thanks you get the oh why not / begging / abusive replys so there no point in answering apart from that odd one that takes your fancy and even then they go tits up quick when you realise it aint going to work ... so yeah guys have it tought very tought

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"do people really receive 100s and 100s of messages? always frustrates me when my messages unread and i make effort to read mine. but I hear sometimes that's they receive so many that they just delete. defeats the object of being on here doesn't it lol."

Yes really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get loads but if it's clear they haven't read profile I'll delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't get loads but if it's clear they haven't read profile I'll delete"

agree this is thee main problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only time I got masses was at the time of joining, these days it’s much slower which is much easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just mass deleted. My inbox at one stage went over 800. It's just not possibly to reply to everyone.

I'd rather be the hunter than be the prey.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

I can’t be dealing with people messaging rubbish one word messages. What’s the point!

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By *ed velvet thornWoman
over a year ago

over the rainbow

I'm currently stuck on 433 unread as soon as I'm online it goes up quicker than I can read and reply

Sorry to anyone who's messaged and it's still unread

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It varies but it's only an issue if both parties are truly missing out. Is this the likely case? No.

Realistic expectations are essential. Invest as much of as little as you feel is right for you and who you are messaging.

If they don't respond, move on

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent

We haven’t been on here long and we get a LOT of messages! Most are from people we aren’t interested in connecting with, I’ve struggled the last two days to respond to people and keep track of who is who at times! And so many of the messages are completely pointless, if you don’t have a profile photo or any real details on your profile then we won’t respond, if you send a dick pic immediately or don’t say hello or if you message as if it is a different for woman’s account and not a couples one then we won’t respond. It’s definitely difficult to reply to every single message when you get them constantly!

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, I get hundred of messages. I have hundreds unread.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I don't get loads and use several filters to reduce mail and I still delete most of mine, because people just don't read my profile.

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By *ambam1234400Woman
over a year ago

coventry

I get loads just keeping up sometimes would wish people would read profiles though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get hundreds. I get enough that it's too much of my time to invest replying to people who

a) clearly haven't read the profile

b) make no effort ("nice tits" "how's you").

That's 99% of the messages I get. Life is too short to be polite to strangers after a fuck.

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

We get hundreds and even worst if update status. As everyone says so many just don't read profile or just chancing their luck. Worst thing we have is so many guys who say straight on profile but become bi when say that's what looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a very manageable inbox

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

People are free to react to mail however they wish. I delete every message that I send so I have no idea if it's been deleted or opened... Fire and forget, that way it's always a nice surprise for me should I ever get a reply.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

If we are having a busy day message wise, we have been known to leave the ones we've not chatted to before, then it's demographic, then distance. But if we've time take a look at those not chatted to and return something short if not interested in them.

This place can be brutal at times but sometimes needs must.

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By *urious_couple_ukCouple
over a year ago

South Cambs

We get a lots of messages each day. I tend to ignore the ones who don't match what we're looking for, clearly haven't read the profile or just use a one liner "how's it going" type of thing! Just makes it easier if I'm scrolling through loads of messages.

Sorry if that seems harsh but there had to be some sorry of elimination process

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a very manageable inbox "

Maybe just me but that sounds naughty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the best way to get replies folks?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Yes we do receive 100s and more so on my singles profile. Used to answer all messages, which is still possible on this profile but now having to be selective on the singles one and it can be 2 or 3 weeks until I can answer.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

"What's the best way to get replies folks?"

Read profiles and send a decent message but only to people whose profile is a match. Still no guarantee though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the best way to get replies folks?

Read profiles and send a decent message but only to people whose profile is a match. Still no guarantee though."

Thanks, your not wrong there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont send many messages myself as normally after reading the profile (yep the profile guys) i find most the time i dont fit the bill so dont send a message. Is it that there are alot of horny chancers out there

However i never get any messages but thats the nature of the beast i suppose

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By *eterandJaneadventuresCouple
over a year ago

Sutton

As a couple not seeking single guys via fabs, we do receive quite a few messages from single guys. Some are polite, with a nice sentence or two, others simply say ‘pics’ or do you want some fun, the later two will simply get a delete, as will those with no public photos. Yes it’s not nice for all single guys, it’s just unfortunate, a nice profile with nice general pictures will help.

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple
over a year ago

Chippenham

[Removed by poster at 01/01/22 10:16:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, I get hundred of messages. I have hundreds unread."

Not surprised you get hundreds tbh. Stunning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try very hard to answer messages where the "Sender" has read our profile and made a decent effort.

Sadly this is rare and most messages are merely deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve deleted my whole inbox today. New year, new start. It feels great! I was never going to get to the bottom of it!

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"I’ve deleted my whole inbox today. New year, new start. It feels great! I was never going to get to the bottom of it! "

And so many NY hopes & dreams disappearing into the matrix of lost souls...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve deleted my whole inbox today. New year, new start. It feels great! I was never going to get to the bottom of it!

And so many NY hopes & dreams disappearing into the matrix of lost souls...

Hahaha

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By *ilf and old fartCouple
over a year ago

Between Ely and Mildenhall

We get lots of messages from guys who have obviously not read our profile but just message after looking at our photos. Before we read their message we look at their profile and if it says 'straight' in then we just delete it unread.

The same goes for guys who live 200 miles away, that's a long journey just for a shag.

So in answer to your question, it's mainly due to single guys not reading profiles and couples getting fed up with receiving these messages from guys that don't fit their criteria or are not local(ish) that get deleted

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By *onorary-UnicornCouple
over a year ago

hackbridge

Only been on here a few weeks and yes, we have had thousands of messages in that time! 98% of them are from guys who clearly haven’t taken the time to read our profile and are the complete opposite of what we have said that we are looking for. So yes, those usually get deleted with no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over Xmas I've had so many messages and most have been one word or clearly haven't read my profile. No point in replying if that's the case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 546 messages unread and I use filters.

Just added up my first page of replies I’ve made. Some only get one message. Some are pushing 200. Total replies on one page is 1044.

I really need to get out more.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Yes they do.

Also OP I believe there are only 75 messages viewable at a time. So if your message is not on the first page it can easily get missed.

Don't take it personally. Unless you are sending rubbish messages

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Yes some do and receive same amount cock pictures and silly messages like wuupt

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

You actually get replies? I'd say you're ahead of the curve if so!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Yes some do and receive same amount cock pictures and silly messages like wuupt "

Or "SC dickhead"

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I dont send many messages myself as normally after reading the profile (yep the profile guys) i find most the time i dont fit the bill so dont send a message. Is it that there are alot of horny chancers out there

However i never get any messages but thats the nature of the beast i suppose

100% correct in every respect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/01/22 19:39:52]

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns

"What's the best way to get replies folks?"

Try looking like Chris Hemsworth, sending beautifully-crafted messages that suggest you’re some sort of Cassanova/Shakespeare hybrid, be within a few miles of the person you’re messaging, have a full and open profile and try not to open with a cock picture unless it’s openly specified that you should do exactly that.

Some of these things are simpler to achieve than others.

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By *onorary-UnicornCouple
over a year ago

hackbridge

"What's the best way to get replies folks?

Some of these things are simpler to achieve than others."

This guy gets it! Also I’d add to actual read their profile first. Quite often you’ll find that they have mentioned quite specifically what they are looking for, if you are not it, why waste everyone’s time messaging? If you only have cock photos, you are not likely to get a reply. Infact we don’t reply unless we can see your face and body too (I get not everyone wants to post those on their profiles but at least include them in your opening message). Talking of opening messages, make it clear that you have read their profile and think that you can offer what they are looking for (only if you actually have read their profile and genuinely can offer what they are looking for) and then talk about what you are looking for.

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By *HoneyWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

In my first week of joining, I had I would say around 300 messages. I turned on my message filter for men because i get too many. Even now! I have learnt to become very selective, if your profile doesnt interest me in anyway and its clear you've not read my profile, then it's an instant delete. Sometimes, I don't bother reading messages if the person has fuck all in their bio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get loads and it's time consuming to read every single one. I ask on my profile for people to be meet verified and attach a face pic. If there is no attachment or no green tick I'll delete without reading.

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By *dy-ukTV/TS
over a year ago

Alcester

Iike the fact you can read the first few lines, without 'reading it', enough to get the gist and 'delete ubread' if it's single men trying, always get deleted.

Females never message me, couples or guys that are genuinely just telling me something or helpful, I'll reply.

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By *readsOfValhallaCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

There is nothing we could say that hasn't already been said...we have literally on a good night say primetime Fri/Sat if we post a meet say, we can receive upto around 200/300 messages in a night granted thats the far end of the spectrum...to reply to everyone would just be insane we value our life too much. To answer your question though OP yes, yes they do, we average I'd say 40/50 messages a day at least, and If we're more active on the site yes that can double.

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By *onic2Man
over a year ago

Bromley

I remember when I got my friend Alana to sign up she had 500 messages by the end of the day....

Someone thought it'd be a good idea if you could specifically search for people that have been on the site for less than 5 days.

Unfortunately probably puts a lot of people off having that feature as it just spams them into submission

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People send you messages via here

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

We don't get that many now and would have no problems time wise replying to every message.

However we believe a profile is the first message of sorts, if someone contacts us not having bothered to read our message why should we read and respond to theirs.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Yes, we've got 54 at the mo which is quite low. We will then have a night to go through them all if we can but time and inclination can sometimes be hard to muster. However if the first line that we can see piques our interest we'll reply either way x so be constructive and intriguing x

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

I guess I average about 100-150 a day depending on how much I've been mooching on the forum.

I don't have any filters as I sometimes get messages about forum topics (often BDSM related) that the message sender feels is too personal to ask in the forum etc...

99.9% of my messages get deleted without reply because they clearly haven't read my profile

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

We sometimes spend and afternoon with both of us on phones, on our profile, going through all the messages and deleting or hotlist g people might like to meet.

Gets rid of all the mail but she gets turned on by all the attention so usually ends up with a quick picked meet or some fun eteeen ourselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I leave unread if I want the Mr to read it too, that could be days, weeks depending on life situations.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Nope I don't receive many messages at all.I keep my filters really tight because I don't want a load of messages I don't see the point .

The odd time I will leave messages unread for a bit usually if I can tell what it says and it doesn't interest me or if the profile doesn't appeal especially if I'm busy. I do either reply or delete within a day or so tho.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I have tight filters so no I don’t have hundreds of emails .

Women always complain about the quality or amount of emails they receive when that can easily be fixed by using filters but then again they wouldn’t be able to brag about getting hundred of emails a day if they did .

Before I get jumped all over for my comments this statement does not apply to all women

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

If they are short I think you can read them without opening them up so maybe they are read.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes sometimes there's just too many to answer, though we try our best but something will happen and the next thing you just got loads, also we are not always on the message page we may be in chat rooms or on the forums instead. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some do. Women especially. I'm on 99 unread I need to get to right now. But most of these won't have read my profile, or will be instashags.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"What's the best way to get replies folks?"

Timing also helps, if people are actually online at the time you send messages it can help, although obviously the message still needs to be half decent. Otherwise you just need to be somewhat psychic. What some people consider a polite opener will be deathly dull to someone ela. Some people like compliments in an opener, others do not. And having a visible face pic or at very least attaching one will help in a lot of cases but it stings a bit when you do and you get an instant delete or block. All part of the fun, though

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I don't often get lots but when setting up my account I had over 300 in 24hrs

I don't see how it's pointless being on the site just because you don't read a message, maybe they prefer to search themselves or maybe like me at the moment I'm only here for the forums, I'm not meeting at the moment so have no interest in chatting on messages

Also as soon as you reply that person will forever be able to message you no matter what filters you have on unless you block them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also think it depends on your location... population in Scotland is less so i dont get many messages... or i am a scary munter

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By *issChief 200Woman
over a year ago

South West

High message filters help! Cuts out most of the blank profiles with no photo verification/meet/cam verification & no public pics!

Can't be doing with blank profiles that message saying "Hey"!!!!!

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

"I also think it depends on your location... population in Scotland is less so i dont get many messages... or i am a scary munter"

Yep scary, so scary wouldn't want to play xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have tight filters so no I don’t have hundreds of emails .

Before I get jumped all over for my comments this statement does not apply to all women

I have very tight filters but I do allow messages from guys because I like the forum chats and games. And I post photos/videos. But I enjoy both so much that I accept that the downside is the extra messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely send messages. I don't often check the sent box until few days after. If deleted or unread for a really long time I take it as they are uninterested I delete the sent message and move on.

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