FabSwingers.com forum: why do men waste so many peoples time

By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

why do men in particular use so many stupid excuses as to why they cant meet all of a sudden after chatting and arranging something . beyond a joke now how many times this has happened resulting in loss of money due to traveling ect to the point we now refuse to travel unless we have met before .

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By *he MuffinmanMan
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire

"why do men in particular use so many stupid excuses as to why they cant meet all of a sudden after chatting and arranging something . beyond a joke now how many times this has happened resulting in loss of money due to traveling ect to the point we now refuse to travel unless we have met before ."

It’s not just men I’m afraid. I’ve had similar situations when planning on meeting single women or couples.

Can’t say it’s something that I have ever done.

That said life does sometimes through a spanner in the works no matter how genuine somebody is.

I do feel your frustration though.

It’s guys like you refer to give the genuine ones like myself a bad name.

Try not to tar everybody with the same brush, though

C x

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By *en_Dover79Man
over a year ago

Oswaldtwistle

It’s not just men I’m afraid. I’ve had similar situations when planning on meeting single women or couples.

Can’t say it’s something that I have ever done.

That said life does sometimes through a spanner in the works no matter how genuine somebody is.

I do feel your frustration though.

It’s guys like you refer to give the genuine ones like myself a bad name.

Try not to tar everybody with the same brush, though

C x"

bang on mate

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sadly i think it just takes time to sift through folk, to find the genuine ones who actually want to meet.

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

thats what we are thinking as people cant hide behind a keyboard then , beyond a joke now to the point our faith in the scene is non existant

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

we dont meet often and plan ahead as we are not here to make our way through the entire site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe poorly worded as neither are we just trying to figure out who is genuine and who isn't, via messages is difficult just think/hope it comes with time.

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

"maybe poorly worded as neither are we just trying to figure out who is genuine and who isn't, via messages is difficult just think/hope it comes with time."

we have been here for years and since lockdown started theres more cheaters liars and fakes on here than ever before . no wonder so many genuine folk we know from the scene have left and we are not suprised in the slightest

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By *egvisir71Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I’ve also been ghosted by women and couples after arranging meets etc so it’s not just guys that do this.

Sadly, as said previously, people tend to tar us all with the same brush when I wouldn’t dream of messing people around.

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

As a single guy, it’s sad to see how common it’s getting for people to be let down.

No wonder I’m finding it such a struggle (plus the M:F ratio of course)

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

We get that couples and single females do not also but we are not alone with it being predominately men that waste peoples time .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely happens on both sides, but I'd rather folk were upfront about only wanting to chat rather than pretending they want to meet till they find someone better..

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

It's not just men unfortunately. I've had women and couples do the same.

Funny thing us that they were so keen and made it seem like I was being difficult.

Then they let me down. I wasn't too surprised by it. I've found that most serious people on here do not message you for weeks before arranging a social/meet.

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd

2 years ago a let down was unusual. Now it's every other meet. I was wondering if it was personal to me. Even guys I've met previously make plans then cancel last minute, so I can't say it's the newbies and wannabes to blame.

You're not alone, a lot of people are saying the same.

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By *randMrsNorthernCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Same with couples. We have noticed a decline over the last year or so (since Covid) of couples who seem to be here just to chat and with little intention to meet. Even since the easing of restrictions and “better” patches when the virus isn’t quite as prevalent. Trying to keep the faith but yep - a lot of time wasters.

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

"2 years ago a let down was unusual. Now it's every other meet. I was wondering if it was personal to me. Even guys I've met previously make plans then cancel last minute, so I can't say it's the newbies and wannabes to blame.

You're not alone, a lot of people are saying the same."

Helps to know we are not alone , starting to wonder if it’s us and go down that rabbit hole

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By *itygamesMan
over a year ago

ive figured folk perhaps arrange a meet when feeling horny and or typsy....then on the day of the meet there not feeling it hence make un true excuses cancel or just totally let people down

i personally text a meet when i'm leaving home ,when halfway there and again when close by.

or i book and pay a nice hotel with a bar so at least they know i'll be there...if they dont show i just enjoy my evening in hotel bar or pub crawl

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

If its happening a lot the common denominator is you.. change your selection process, put in checks balances, look out for red flags.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Unfortunately a very large proportion of the men on this site are fantasists… it’s the chase and talking about meeting that gets them going, and as a lot aren’t actually single it means they mess people about for their kicks without ever actually being able to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been ghosted twice now by women after arranging a meet

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

If its happening a lot the common denominator is you.. change your selection process, put in checks balances, look out for red flags.

If we did anymore checks we would need a crb , we are not here to fuck anybody and everybody so are picky plus time isn’t always avalable with work ect so that’s why we get so annoyed when this happens . Sadly it’s happening more often than not now

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd

You're not alone, a lot of people are saying the same.

Helps to know we are not alone , starting to wonder if it’s us and go down that rabbit hole"

I know one woman who met all the time got really fed up with all the let downs. She's left the site and I assume that's why.

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By *hoenix_1Man
over a year ago

richmond

It's unbelievable that's its worse than it was when I was last on fab. At the social I used to run. On average about 70% of single men would not turn up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We’ve been let down twice by guys but never by a couple.

One guy apparently got told by a fwb she was pregnant so had to cancel at one hours notice to be with her. The other guy forgot he was going on holiday and got shitty when we asked how you forget you’re going on holiday two days before you’re leaving.

We no longer meet single guys as it’s not worth the hassle for the reasons above and a number of other reasons. For us couples are more reliable.

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

We just think Fab in general has declined massively over the last couple of years. We are so fed up with here now that we just meet in clubs. In fact even the forums are full of ignorant people. The guys using the forums are on our hotlist of guys not to meet due to the sheer ignorance...not our loss though as clubs still Rock

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"We’ve been let down twice by guys but never by a couple.

We no longer meet single guys as it’s not worth the hassle for the reasons above and a number of other reasons. For us couples are more reliable. "

And this is why I hate the majority of men on here.. the poor attitude of most is literally driving couples away from meeting those of us that are genuine

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

It happens in all groups I suspect, I've certainly had it with a couple, they went completely silent for 4 days then the bloke went crazy saying we'd blocked him (this was on my couples profile) we hadn't, but did within a few minutes if receiving those messages

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Probably because whilst the lad wants the woman he doesnt want the other guy around and bottles it when it is apparent the woman isnt gonna play alone. Shitty but very common. I wouldnt meet a couple because i have no interest in another bloke being there - just my personal preference. Id meet the female half of a cpuple one on one or both at a social leading to time with the woman as a possibility

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By *he force is strongeCouple
over a year ago

somewhere

"It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x"

Yep could not agree more,clubs are fantastic for meeting people even if you don't play you can still have a laugh,and at least everyone at a club is after the same thing

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

"We’ve been let down twice by guys but never by a couple.

We no longer meet single guys as it’s not worth the hassle for the reasons above and a number of other reasons. For us couples are more reliable.

And this is why I hate the majority of men on here.. the poor attitude of most is literally driving couples away from meeting those of us that are genuine "

This^^^^. I certainly wouldn't arrange to meet unless I was 100% certain I could from my end. Maybe it's just better to make friends with single men so you can make a better judge of character. All depends what you are looking for.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x

Yep could not agree more,clubs are fantastic for meeting people even if you don't play you can still have a laugh,and at least everyone at a club is after the same thing "

Completely agree with you on this, unfortunately my nearest is over a 2 hour drive each way… still worth it when I’ve visited though

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

If its happening a lot the common denominator is you.. change your selection process, put in checks balances, look out for red flags.

Complain as you will the chances are the guys you reference won't read it or change.

The common denominator is you your process isn't working,you can change it or chances are you'll get the same result(s).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

Sounds like you need to rethink how you go about things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’ve been let down twice by guys but never by a couple.

We no longer meet single guys as it’s not worth the hassle for the reasons above and a number of other reasons. For us couples are more reliable.

And this is why I hate the majority of men on here.. the poor attitude of most is literally driving couples away from meeting those of us that are genuine "

Don't blame other men for your lack of meeting folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep so many men message all the time Wade through the idiots to refine things down to another that disappears at last minute or comes out with piss poor excises when they appear after lol makes the genuine ones look bad too lol

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By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

"As a single guy, it’s sad to see how common it’s getting for people to be let down.

No wonder I’m finding it such a struggle (plus the M:F ratio of course)"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

A) it’s not just a single man problem.. it’s an all people problem, and sometimes an arse is an arse and it doesn’t matter if they happen to be male, female or part of a couple

B) at some point if the same thing keeps happening then there is one common denominator… and that would be you! … not blaming you but that’s then screams process! How are you picking people? How are you vetting them? Ect ect ect

At some point something needs changing, be that who, where, when…..

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

I've found that every once in a while you get quite a few that are let downs or time wasters... But then get a run of really good people and great meets... it is a bit disheartening but I suppose we have to just deal with it our own way and move on..

Good luck for future meets OP and don't get the let do

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

Let downs so much

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Beats me, maybe people get intimidated at the last moment if they haven't already met the other people involved and developed a rapport? Even men worry about their personal safety sometimes, I'd certainly be a little apprehensive going to a couple's house if we hadn't have met somewhere public beforehand or at very least, interacted on webcam.

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By *otwifeKazWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

Heaven forbid people should have a life and all that entails. If you're informed that they aren't meeting for whatever the excuse/reason then accept it. Believe it or not there are more important things than 'you' (non specific you, not aimed at anyone in particular).

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

We've found that under 35 with no verifications are the ones that don't turn up and just ignore us. Don't have the decency to even message to say they aren't coming, even after confirming the day before.

Over 35 and verified....we don't get any trouble with those.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not bein funny -you’d do well to lose the 7th down pic (razor rash) it’s the kind of image that might well give a guy second thoughts…. ?

just sayin -best wishes-I’d meet you like a flash …!!

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x"

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x"

This is the same for us...always a good day/night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm new to the scene and have been to one club and had one meet with someone I (luckily) already knew. Both times I was super nervous but managed to push past the nerves and have a fantastic time.

So _ased on how I felt, I'm sure some people must just bottle it, even with good intentions. Then there are others that are just lonely/bored/horny and like someone else said, the thrill of it's what they want.

I don't think this is specific to fab, the same happens on other dating apps too. People are people after all.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

What is a let down?

Is few days notice to cancel acceptable compared to few hours or just no show?

Life can get in way.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Things have changed somewhat, so it means that we have to stay 1 step ahead of those who are reducing the potential for positive meets. New strategies, including filtering, advance social interaction and meets.

If we don't change, it's likely to continue to deteriorate for us.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

I think despite easing of restrictions regarding COVID people are still nervous about meeting for sex. Then you get the deliberate timewasters who on the whole give themselves away and you know it's one hand typing lol then there are the ones that ghost you. Some genuinely chicken out but I'd prefer them to say so.

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By * and D DemersCouple
over a year ago

Peterlee

"It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x"

We prefer to meet at clubs too as we can go without expectations, meet new interesting people & just enjoy the evening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've found that under 35 with no verifications are the ones that don't turn up and just ignore us. Don't have the decency to even message to say they aren't coming, even after confirming the day before.

Over 35 and verified....we don't get any trouble with those.

(Bry)"

Most of my interactions have been with couples + women over 35. Either didn't read my profile properly, or just ended up flaking on me. The two meets I have had are both with people under the age of 30.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was talking about this with a friend during the week. I’m wondering, is it a generational thing? Do a lot of younger folk seeing everything as a bit disposable/temporary, and therefore more likely to not consider the feelings of the other party in the situation?

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By *orkshireDrifterMan
over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

"easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

From.my experience and that of close friends swinging as a MF couple, solo guys are in too many cases let their 'categoty' down.

Friends who organise child care, ttavel to a hotel room, get ready both physically and psychologically and......

.....another 'no show'.

Is it any wider that they are wary,many are wary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

It sounds like they have let you know they wouldn't be coming, does it really matter why? Men are as entitled to change their mind as women are surely, it would be worse if they just didn't turn up.

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By *he MuffinmanMan
over a year ago

West Gloucestershire

"Same with couples. We have noticed a decline over the last year or so (since Covid) of couples who seem to be here just to chat and with little intention to meet. Even since the easing of restrictions and “better” patches when the virus isn’t quite as prevalent. Trying to keep the faith but yep - a lot of time wasters. "

I think that are a lot more “wannabes” on here than say a few years ago.

People that get their titillation from just being on a swinging site, post a few pictures and possibly chat.

It takes a massive amount of my time and effort to, first get to chat to someone then get to the stage of arranging a meet. So, if I do get to arrange one then I’m not going to screw all that hard work up by not turning up.

Plus, I genuinely want to meet people.

The Wannabes don’t care because they are getting what they want out of it by just being on here.

I think Fab needs to come up with a better system than the current one to out the “Wannabes”

I think the thing to remember is to not take it personally…. It’s them with the issue not you

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Most of my interactions have been with couples + women over 35. Either didn't read my profile properly, or just ended up flaking on me. The two meets I have had are both with people under the age of 30. "

We've not had much success with couples, and none at all with at all with single women so can't say. But couples are the worst at not bothering to read profiles.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens with couples and women too.

People like the idea of it, enjoy the chase , the flirting etc, but are too scared (for many reasons) to go through with it. They think it’s harmless, never thinking how annoying it is for the other party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

Only 4??

Lucky you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've not had much success with couples, and none at all with at all with single women so can't say. But couples are the worst at not bothering to read profiles.

(Bry)"

Yeah. A vast majority of couples that have messaged me expect me to be bi even though I'm listed as straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than likely married or in a relationship. We've had it chatting then suddenly silent and you know the wife's walked in the room! Probably the same with meeting. They talk the talk, but can't walk the walk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we know of 3 couples who have left fab just in dec 2021 alone these couples have been swinging for years got fed up with the lack of real swingers so now only do clubs as and when they want ... not good to lose couples or women when so many men are joining its just making men out numbered even more ..

just look at how many new men are joining just over xmas its mad i fear the site will eat itself .. i now put all new comers local to me on the block list so to keep the messages down

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

To be fair single men to couples would appear to be the most common meet scenario so is bound to be the most cancelled scenario too you’d imagine.

The big issue with men versus couples is that you are always on alert that they are cheating on their partner. Yes there are cheating FWB couples and yes there are cheating women but the numbers are small compared to men. So if we have a suspicion about a guy and they then cancel at short notice with a “I forgot I was going on holiday” then we assume they are attached and have cancelled due to their wife possibly changing plans.

We’ve never had a couple cancel except for illness and it’s rare. They’re just a bit more reliable.

With single men there’s a big pool of other guys so it’s easy to move onto someone else.

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

It's not just men, been let down a few times by single ladies. It's the main reason I go to clubs on my own now xx

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By *pongebob52Man
over a year ago

torbay

Very true.

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

I go cruising . No arranged meets. If I bump into someone for fun, great. If not no problems. Sometimes I'll hint on here where I'm going then see what happens

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By *orset.JMan
over a year ago

Weymouth

"we know of 3 couples who have left fab just in dec 2021 alone these couples have been swinging for years got fed up with the lack of real swingers so now only do clubs as and when they want ... not good to lose couples or women when so many men are joining its just making men out numbered even more ..

just look at how many new men are joining just over xmas its mad i fear the site will eat itself .. i now put all new comers local to me on the block list so to keep the messages down"

I think it happens on both sides but agree clubs are a much safer bet- no expectations and very relaxed. I have been on and off this site for several years. I have only had a few meets but they all have been last minute. If I have planned time free my preference would be a club although a simple social is also easy to arrange too. I do feel sympathy for you though- we all live busy lives and when you are let down then it’s nots nice. Maybe arranging a social might help to sift out the charlatans?

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"To be fair single men to couples would appear to be the most common meet scenario so is bound to be the most cancelled scenario too you’d imagine.

We’ve never had a couple cancel except for illness and it’s rare. They’re just a bit more reliable.

With single men there’s a big pool of other guys so it’s easy to move onto someone else. "

Well put. As others have said going to a club will increase your chances significantly and at least you haven't wasted your night even if you don't play.

It may also be worthwhile checking peoples veris. Just my 2p worth.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

As many others have said in the thread, for me the only way now is just go along to a club with no expectations.

I chat to everyone and anyone, have a great social night and if there happens to be chemistry with someone, we don't have to think about checking calendars, looking for accommodation or that they won't look exactly like their profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has happened to me many a time previously as a couple and now as a single male.

Is very annoying after you have made the effort to arrange something / travel only to be let down.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

NB: Below suggestion is a joke

Why not double triple book like hotels do lol

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It's not just men.

It has been happening for many years.

One has to try at least to work out how to 'smell' a fake.

And always have a plan B. Even if it's just being home alone

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"NB: Below suggestion is a joke

Why not double triple book like hotels do lol"

Some years ago now a female friend of mine had a 4 guy meet set up.

Only one guy showed. They've been together since and left the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lucky guy

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

"We’ve been let down twice by guys but never by a couple.

We no longer meet single guys as it’s not worth the hassle for the reasons above and a number of other reasons. For us couples are more reliable. "
pretty much exactly the same for us.

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By *hileas-FoggMan
over a year ago

inverurie

Sorry to hear that but it's the same for single guys couples chat and arrange something then ether get cold feet or don't reply/turn up.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I've witnessed the problem from all sides.

There's been a surge of male keyboard warriors during the past 2 years of lockdowns, who are OK at building the chase and "talking the talk" but when it gets to the point when reality kicks in and someone wishes to meet, they lose their bottle and cannot "walk the walk!".

Equally, there are females and couples, though not as large a percentage, who are just as bad in letting others down. I've been let down a few times, often as late as getting to the front door after a 90 minute drive, and being told then, "we have changed our minds! Bye bye!"

All the checking, seeing Verifications, and trusting your own gut feelings won't ever get rid of this long running issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've witnessed the problem from all sides.

All the checking, seeing Verifications, and trusting your own gut feelings won't ever get rid of this long running issue."

Yeah verifications aren't everything, a good chunk of my letdowns have been from well verified people.

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

for those that so far have suggested check verifications and photos and do checks ect ect (all of the above we do anyways) we get where you are coming from but yet again have been let down once again tonight after arranging to meet and sorting things out we get told they are going to a party they have "just" been invited to instead , we get couples and singles do it also but from our experience its men mainly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahahahaha

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

OP all I can say is for some reason you are making poor choices or not qualifying people well enough! Plenty great reliable men on here you just have to get better at finding them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's crap OP. Do you speak to them on the phone or just on fab? Just wondering if that would help?

If not rant away..I think 4 meets in a row is taking the piss!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know some couples that will be talking to multiple people when looking. They’ll be free on a particular night, and tell all these people, and then it’s a case of first come first served and so the excuses come out for the others to keep them sweet for next time that they’re available.

Their justification is that if they concentrated on just one person when arranging a meet and it falls through; then that would be a waste of a night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When theres too much talking on here before the planned 'meet' i get suspicious.

Most meets Ive had are arranged in minutes and 2 or 3 measages. Some people want the full DBS check then bail at the end.

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

"OP all I can say is for some reason you are making poor choices or not qualifying people well enough! Plenty great reliable men on here you just have to get better at finding them "

how else can you qualify people other than chatting on fab then kik and making sure they are who they say they are ect checking veris and the likes . just dont see why people get such a kick out of wasting peoples time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP all I can say is for some reason you are making poor choices or not qualifying people well enough! Plenty great reliable men on here you just have to get better at finding them

A quick phone call normally verifies very quickly. Im not setting off fir a meet without a ogone nunber and house number and ideally a quick 5 sec chat, saying Im on my way....

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

^^^^^^^^ this ^^^^

Plus, I've lately learned to take everything people say with a pinch (or bucket) of salt. If I speak to somebody online and I gauge that they're talking too much about "what would we do and what would you do to me" etc, I've learned to recognise it as a sign of a cyberwanker who is about to blow a load and will never show up as promised. Of course that's only a tiny example out of different types of timewasters.

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

Hi OP. Just a question so I can understand without making assumptions: did all your no-show disappointments have to do with men you were about to meet for a 1st time, for sex, or was it also no-shows for a purely social 1st meet?

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By *exyfuncouple74Couple
over a year ago

Eastbourne

The same has happened to us with single guys on so many occasions. Within an hour of the planned meet it all goes quiet or we get some shitty excuse like "stuck working late in London". FFS. There are so many nice single guys out there, but just as many dreamers. Have only ever had a similar situation happen once with a couple.

Clubs are ok, but it's less intimate and doesn't feel like there's much of a build up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even the genuine guys (some) get the thrill of the chase, then when they get a catch the thrill goes and cancel. I have done it like once.

Goes both ways. Yep plenty of fakes, goes with the territory.

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

Both as we always treat every meet as social to begin to make sure that the attraction and good vibes are there and to get to know the person or persons in question a little better , we are not on here to make our way through the entire site but more to meet select few that we can enjoy our time with

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"Both as we always treat every meet as social to begin to make sure that the attraction and good vibes are there and to get to know the person or persons in question a little better , we are not on here to make our way through the entire site but more to meet select few that we can enjoy our time with "

In that case, the only down-to-earth suggestion I can come up with as help is, if you have a swingers' club near you, arrange to meet a guy there. The more outlandish scenario I can suggest is, for the purposes of a sexy weekend, try speaking to more than 3 blokes at the same time. I don't know if you like gangbangs at all but if you do, speaking to more than 2 or 3 people at the same time for a sexy weekend will give you more chances of somebody showing up. Also, always exchange phone numbers with the intent of making a voice call before the arranged meet. It's probably not fool-proof but, like many, I've found that fakes will usually never speak on the phone before a meet.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

This is the one reason I won't travel out of my city, I don't usually go much further than the end on the main road!

I've had wobbles, and cancelled on people, but always in good time, not at the time we should have been meeting or left them wondering.

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By *otcplmidsCouple
over a year ago

Warwick

So this has not happened to us, dare I say that and jinx us now.

We do not meet people without veris if that helps.

We also go to clubs and socials.

I also think that these times are not as easy as they used to be with people testing positive with covid.

Us as a couple had planned to go to xtasia this evening but hubby got a tummy bug so we are staying in. What if we had planned a meet and had to cancel we too could have been seen as time wasters.

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By *ess King tvTV/TS
over a year ago

KING'S LYNN

Why do men waste time? Cuz they are idiots

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

There are many time wasters, liars, cheats, fantasists here male, female and couple profiles, it’s the nature of the site and it won’t change

If you can’t spot them and choose well you have to take some responsibility for that, not everyone has the experience you are having , it’s works well for many of us

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By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

[Removed by poster at 01/01/22 12:16:56]

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By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

Just had a guy on here mail me “Hi” with a pic of himself.

I mailed saying thanks for mailing but your profile says straight?

He said he was passing & would I give him a bj.

I mailed him that he is under the misconception that I am desperate. I am not, but you are ignorant & selfish. Then blocked him.

Twats like that ruin this site.

Happy New Year people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a guy on here mail me “Hi” with a pic of himself.

I mailed saying thanks for mailing but your profile says straight?

He said he was passing & would I give him a bj.

I mailed him that he is under the misconception that I am desperate. I am not, but you are ignorant & selfish. Then blocked him.

Twats like that ruin this site.

Happy New Year people. "

Do you feel it was a productive use of your time to tell us all that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s rubbish that especially when it’s one after the other that have let you down.

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By *ensual -lover69Man
over a year ago

Blackburn

If only we were nearer each other xx

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By *haneportsMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

If only we were nearer each other xx"

Thank you for the positivity.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Sadly, in our experience couples are far worse than single men.

That's why we only meet initially for a drink and chat.

That way, if it's a no show, had a nice evening together in the pub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve also been ghosted by women and couples after arranging meets etc so it’s not just guys that do this.

Sadly, as said previously, people tend to tar us all with the same brush when I wouldn’t dream of messing people around.

chances are you were not talking to women or couples and that they were in fact men,,

as for the ''we all get tarred with the same brush'' rubbish no you dont only the idoits who do wrong do ... stop blaming others for your experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not alone, a lot of people are saying the same."

there are guys on here that once they've met you a few times and gained trust then use you as a back up plan ie say they wanna meet whiles carrying on to look for others then come back at the last min if nothing else turns up or back out if found someone else .. we had quite a few like this over the years ...when they start to go like this its a block and no more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP all I can say is for some reason you are making poor choices or not qualifying people well enough! Plenty great reliable men on here you just have to get better at finding them

Sorry to here that you are having some back luck with meets OP hopefully your idea of arranging the borders social will help all in identifying who are less likely to cancel.

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By *tterlysluterlyCouple
over a year ago

northampton

"It’s not a choice or an option for everyone. But this is why I prefer clubs. No time wasted, no expectations, a night out etc, meet others. Win win x"

Exactly this, we had so many guys let us down from here.90% let us down. When we have met guys in a club setting first and then arranged to meet at a later date - 100% have showed up as agreed. Clubs only for us now for the initial meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply don't get it. If you're here trying to arrange a meet you should be wanting the meet, it's just insanity to be doing it otherwise. If only there was some kind of bond system where both parties put a deposit in and if the other fails to show they get the cash and the no show gets blocked from the site - that would stop most of them! Closest thing would be 50/50 on a hotel?

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By *tterlysluterlyCouple
over a year ago

northampton

"I simply don't get it. If you're here trying to arrange a meet you should be wanting the meet, it's just insanity to be doing it otherwise. If only there was some kind of bond system where both parties put a deposit in and if the other fails to show they get the cash and the no show gets blocked from the site - that would stop most of them! Closest thing would be 50/50 on a hotel?"

Problem is there are a lot of guys on here living in fantasy and just adding to their wank bank. It is so prevalent that even couples like us that like to meet single guys won't direct from this site. We always tell them to meet us at a club. The vast majority never do but we still have a good night, so it's their loss.

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

I would never waste anyone lassies time as I'd love a meet given the chance

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

You mean just people in general nowadays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because nearly all of them are married.there are only so many mates who need a lift.lol

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By *mac_thatMan
over a year ago

Burnley

Lier’s

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By *dysseusukMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"thats what we are thinking as people cant hide behind a keyboard then , beyond a joke now to the point our faith in the scene is non existant "

The scene as i see it takes place in the clubs and at parties - then people use this site to stay connected to those they meet. I'm guessing, but i reckon only 25-30 of genuine meets on Fab come from people meeting on here - i bet the rest happen between people that first met at a club.

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By *ife2010Couple
over a year ago

Kirkcaldy

Happened to us yesterday. Waited till we were on our way to come out with the ‘self isolating’

excuse.

No second chances with us.

Ah well, Blackpool in a few weeks and the clubs down there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not just men I’m afraid. I’ve had similar situations when planning on meeting single women or couples.

Can’t say it’s something that I have ever done.

That said life does sometimes through a spanner in the works no matter how genuine somebody is.

I do feel your frustration though.

It’s guys like you refer to give the genuine ones like myself a bad name.

Try not to tar everybody with the same brush, though

C x"

Hear, hear. Quite a few people like the idea of meeting, but don't heave enough courage to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where has the kindness and support gone in humanity. So much hate and anger these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our experience when we’re ready to meet.

Brief message exchange with about 10 guys.

5 will shortlist.

2 will agree to meet sometime this month.

1 will turn up.

We insist on a WhatsApp / message off Fab and a short social before arranging a hotel.

Thins the herd a bit but still plenty of fantasists out there.

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By *otlegs11Man
over a year ago

chester

Sorry you've experienced that but so have I with couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/01/22 18:25:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would ask for the guy to book the hotel and send confirmation, I know it probably sounds silly but really a true gent would book the hotel anyway surely. I’m not an expert but at least if they change their mind you only waste your time not money :-/

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn

Excellent.....another thread pointing out the obvious, thrilling

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By *teph BitchTV/TS
over a year ago

Manchester

Ive had the same experience of men on other sites wanting to meet a cd when chatted for ages and arranging meet only for it to be cancelled last minute or treated like dirt when got to their place.

They say "I didn't know you are disabled and then tell me to f;.k off

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"I would ask for the guy to book the hotel and send confirmation, I know it probably sounds silly but really a true gent would book the hotel anyway surely. I’m not an expert but at least if they change their mind you only waste your time not money :-/"

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By *nowknightMan
over a year ago

BRADFORD

Everyone is missing "The work from home rule"

Even years ago we ( I was then a cpl profile) had couples and singles not turning up.

My wife would be fuming, as she spent ages getting ready.

So in the end it was just two clubs we went to.

Times change, but people don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely happens on both sides, but I'd rather folk were upfront about only wanting to chat rather than pretending they want to meet till they find someone better.."

This ...being upfront and not being selfish

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn

"Ive had the same experience of men on other sites wanting to meet a cd when chatted for ages and arranging meet only for it to be cancelled last minute or treated like dirt when got to their place.

They say "I didn't know you are disabled and then tell me to f;.k off"

They all said the 'disabled line' to you? I cant believe a guy accommodated, and it actually occurred, must have been detached, wife not just away, in another country.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't looking for meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only met couples and have had zero success on this site compared to clubs. Though on the bright side it has puttered out before we left our home to go anywhere and we've not been left hanging in a bar or something. Still frustrating to waste an evening waiting for a response.

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By *TMA that man againMan
over a year ago

worester

"We get that couples and single females do not also but we are not alone with it being predominately men that waste peoples time . "

Married/have partners.

Avoid any guy who says can't accommodate on profile?

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn

"I don't looking for meet!"

You don't looking for meet with anyone? Don't looking for meet with a specific group?

Or if dont looking for anyone, anything anytime at all, what do looking for?

Im intrigued, all other stuff nice and sparkly and lovely. Hoping for a twist somewhere

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

Because so many of them are just dreamers, or use this site for want material and then when they actually message someone and it gets as far as meet when all they wanted was some sex talk they get cold feet...the amount of men we have spoken to on here and when we mention having a social they always says yeah that would be good but make no effort to plan that even when we ask them when would suit them we never hear back from them then weeks down the line the same guy msgs again and we have the same conversation and bang they disappear again..its just plain rude and if they don't want to use the site as its meant for then they need to just bugger off. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably the weak men who have low self esteem. Imagine being apprehensive about meeting for sex. Thats why they're single.

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By *arvest 84Man
over a year ago

SCAWBY, NEAR , BRIGG.

i can accom with my wife,s blessing,

but its still near imposable to get a meet !

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By *hongman1Man
over a year ago

Mansfield

Interesting post as 12 of your 25 verifications have come from single men. I wonder how they would feel.

I feel your frustrations, but tarring everyone with the same brush is somewhat unfair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get men who make excuses for example. Car wont start. Called into work. Family member's turned up. Wife at home so cant get out.

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

We feel the same and we won't ever travel to meet someone either and always surprised when the male or even couple do show up !! and yes couples can be as bad as the males we've found but most so called single males aren't single at all ?? or are just on here to either get a quick fumble and fuck to put it crudely and so suggesting a social which implies they might have to engage in a conversation longer than it takes for them to cum ?? fills them with abject terror and dread that they bottle it ?? but our heart does go out to the many great and genuine guys on here as it's hard enough as it is to get meets or interest without all the fake gagging for it i'm throbbing my balls are full wanna see me cum gang and here's me knob and fancy some fun gang...

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man
over a year ago

Brandon

If only I knew the technique of these timewasters. I would use their successful techniques to arrange meets and actually turn up.

Fab life would be so much better

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

We mainly on here in 2022 to get some new excuses as run out of stock in trade of our granny caught fire and our baby sitter was eaten by a rather large rat on the way to visit our gran in hospital due to us being out of the country on urgent mi5/6 work !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If only I knew the technique of these timewasters. I would use their successful techniques to arrange meets and actually turn up.

Fab life would be so much better"

Hahaha

Good point

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

We’ve just been called sad pathetic fakes for not replying to messages

But we’ve always had good lines of communication before a meet exchanging numbers etc but prefer clubs for this exact reason it’s cuts out all the bullshit.

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By *az87260Man
over a year ago

Cross inn

An actual invite would be great as not had much luck at all any suggestions?

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

Timewasters have no gender. Usually these are people with very little to talk about and they rarely can hold decent conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I true and looking for meets, but no officers on here to many facks on here !

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By *ulnade70sCouple
over a year ago

Up north

"I true and looking for meets, but no officers on here to many facks on here !"

I don't even know were to start with this one! Ffs

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By *hongman1Man
over a year ago

Mansfield

"An actual invite would be great as not had much luck at all any suggestions?"

Don’t be male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I true and looking for meets, but no officers on here to many facks on here !"

Yeah, I know what you mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An actual invite would be great as not had much luck at all any suggestions?"

An invite to swing?

Clubbing is your answer, making friends is the game.

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By *ensual -lover69Man
over a year ago

Blackburn

"easier said than done when the last 4 meets we have planned have all been put to a sharp stop with shitty excuses

There are timewaster of both sex's and there are genuine, I do my best to be genuine xx

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

And this is why I feel super shitty when I've had to cancel within a few days

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's life

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Fab is full of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verifications from others always help making decision if some one going to let you down. Correct me if I am wrong. Agree?

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Verifications from others always help making decision if some one going to let you down. Correct me if I am wrong. Agree?"

100% we look at verifications and the people who verified them it all ads to the credibility

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friends of mine on here have been sent to wrong addresses, booked hotel rooms and even have a married guy they know pose as a couple posting pictures of someone completely different. What makes people do it????

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By *ornypair300 OP Couple
over a year ago

scottish borders

"Interesting post as 12 of your 25 verifications have come from single men. I wonder how they would feel.

I feel your frustrations, but tarring everyone with the same brush is somewhat unfair. "

I wouldn’t say we are tarring everyone with the same brush as we still give a chance to men. However you saying that 12 of our Veris are from single men.. some of them are single men we’ve met at private parties/events. Not ones we have had first hand sexual meets with.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

[Removed by poster at 10/01/22 19:08:03]

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Why likewise do women and couples? I only say this because I had similar experiences with some women when I was a single guy on here. To be fair in my opinion its annoying but I wouldn't want to be with anyone who's not 100% into meeting up with me. Any no one owes you their time or body just because you've invested something in them. Granted I'd prefer not to be messed around especially when my biggest commodity is time. However it's better than then wasting even more time by actually meeting and spending time with someone who's not down for it.

And I think _ased on my Single experience on Fab why we generally use clubs to meet people, not fab. Everyone at a club is generally there for the same reasons. In a club you go, know there's going to be people to meet and after a couple of minutes of talking you know if there's attraction or not. If there isn't attraction you move on and find someone else. Also if its working really well you can get physical then and there (and do the same with others the same night if it goes really well). Plus if you find something that works you can always arrange something outside of the club another time. In our opinion clubs are best places to get results and to avoid getting messed around.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"[Removed by poster at 10/01/22 19:08:03]"

Bloody delete button is above the back button.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"Timewasters have no gender... "

Hopefully they don't have any sex, either!

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By *all Guy 00Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

Something I'd never do

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

It goes both ways women do this as well might not be as much but theirs no smoke without fire

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By *m389Man
over a year ago

Bromley

I have a theory. The men that get your attention are the ones who beef themselves up so when the time comes they can’t deliver.

The normal men, much more down to earth and modest don’t capture attention so are missed.

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By *oobaaMan
over a year ago

South Shields

Its not just men though is it?

Sadly this site is full of people who get a kick out of wasting peoples time.

My latest is a couple who I arranged a meet with. They were well verified locally and all seemed ok.

I booked a national chain hotel in the area and times were agreed to meet.

Come the night time ...total silence.

Next day they are displaying a new verification. So, I know Ive been bumped for someone else, but why the hell could they not just be honest and tell me.

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

The wonder of fab ! Want chat & then comes to meeting & there bottle crashes lol

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