FabSwingers.com forum: Orgasms

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I find it really hard, near impossible to cum, orgasm or squirt when with a partner. Can’t even do it alone. 6 years ago it wasn’t an issue, but it is now. I really want too but just can’t.. do any ladies on here take anything that helps with this?

I live in hope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avana8817Man
over a year ago

Consett

"I find it really hard, near impossible to cum, orgasm or squirt when with a partner. Can’t even do it alone. 6 years ago it wasn’t an issue, but it is now. I really want too but just can’t.. do any ladies on here take anything that helps with this?

I live in hope "

Try the blue pill, some studies say it aids in Sensitivity…worth a try

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I live in hope

Try the blue pill, some studies say it aids in Sensitivity…worth a try"

Is that the one for men?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in hope "

Are you on any medication?

I was like that whilst taking sertraline.

I’m not taking it anymore but can still only do it myself, a man can’t do it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have found it easier since coming off my tricyclic antidepressants. But still only happens with toys. Practically never during a meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I live in hope

Are you on any medication?

I was like that whilst taking sertraline.

I’m not taking it anymore but can still only do it myself, a man can’t do it

Yes but I’ve been on the same meds since 2012, and I was fine then. I really do think it’s because I didn’t have a partner for 5 years and I’ve forgotten how to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in hope

Are you on any medication?

I was like that whilst taking sertraline.

I’m not taking it anymore but can still only do it myself, a man can’t do it

Yes but I’ve been on the same meds since 2012, and I was fine then. I really do think it’s because I didn’t have a partner for 5 years and I’ve forgotten how to "

I was on my meds for 20 years...used to be fine. They can have a cumulative effect unfortunately. So may be worth talking to docs about

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should get your hormones checked It could be to do with them as I get this sometimes and when I did I never had a period for a year

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is some durex gel that helps with sensitivity I also got a womanizer and can come with that my current partner can make me orgasm but many others I have been with cannot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you should get your hormones checked It could be to do with them as I get this sometimes and when I did I never had a period for a year "

Yeah, might do that, but I also have next to no sensitivity

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndy man 61Man
over a year ago

Chichester

how about going to a club,have a couple of drinks chill out then join in the fun and hopefully your get to orgasm via a male or female ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"how about going to a club,have a couple of drinks chill out then join in the fun and hopefully your get to orgasm via a male or female ? "

I don’t drink, but so long as I’m comfortable with the guy I’m with that’s fine.

The Durex gel… that’s like splashing water on me. Good suggestion but doesn’t work with me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

I wish I could help as I'm exactly the same as you x it's so frustrating and makes me sad

they say a lot is mentally related and yes I have taken anti depressants since 2012 but I have never been able to orgasm with anyone even before that x only I can make me x I come sooooo close but then it goes over sensitive and I can't stand to be touched. Tried all sorts. I'll keep trying, hubby has suggested trying a blue pill maybe I will...

I've read so much literature on the subject and so many other people's stories to treasure myself I'm not alone but alas I just don't think it's meant to be.

That's why I get so annoyed when guys message and say "I'd make you cum so hard" and I'm torn between wishing they could and laughing at their cockiness.

It's so sad for partners who feel like they're "failing" when they really aren't! I love our sex life, I enjoy every second and an orgasm isn't the be all and end all.

I'm rambling now but yes op, I feel your pain.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wish I could help as I'm exactly the same as you x it's so frustrating and makes me sad

I've read so much literature on the subject and so many other people's stories to treasure myself I'm not alone but alas I just don't think it's meant to be.

That's why I get so annoyed when guys message and say "I'd make you cum so hard" and I'm torn between wishing they could and laughing at their cockiness.

It's so sad for partners who feel like they're "failing" when they really aren't! I love our sex life, I enjoy every second and an orgasm isn't the be all and end all.

I'm rambling now but yes op, I feel your pain. "

Yes I’ve those messages - but I’m like “yeah right” but I do hope that one day someone will break the barrier. I’m not sure about taking a blue pill but I might try a pink one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Long term medication can do that. I'm definitely not as sensitive as I used to be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olmateMan
over a year ago

west mids

Meds esp SSRI have a massive impact on sexual life.

It could hamper, delay not only arousal but also reaching at orgasm. It could also kill the sexual drive. And taking it for long term could leave that for a long time.

Suggestion: speak to your gp to change as some SSRI has lesser impact on drive or orgasm than the other!!!

Girls usually are good at imagination as imagination play v important part in being aroused and reach orgasm...

Work out what works out for you the most: foreplay, tease to please, oral, hard or soft core, denial of pleasure or anything that works for you.

Sorry for the long message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ye would have to agree medication can takes it effect over the years and then if all other factors such as physical and mental stimulation cant be reached its just sad. the mrs is on various tablets and the effect is noticeable but not as severe as yours.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

The blue pill is fine at first but don’t take it regularly as it loses feeling. Also are you going through the change as that stops the pleasure and wanting sex as I can speake from exsperience as I’m going through this with the misses been over a year now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I live in hope "

Are you on any hrt?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkerbell67Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

Diabetes meds kills the effect as well ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exandthesuburbans83Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

The contraceptive pill can have an impact. It impacted my sex drive and orgasms. Came off it and was like a new woman.

Also, for me it can be mental, as in if I'm not in the right mind set it is harder. I often started to overthink it and then was more focused on why I couldn't than just letting myself go and enjoying it.

A way I overcame it was to give into my fantasies and not worry about embracing what I like. I watched porn, whilst pleasing myself but with no distractions, time retraints etc so i eliminated all the stresses. It helped me.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickhangingsuitMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I live in hope "

The toy industry has the answer for that, maybe you are just frustrated about it and makes it worse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I live in hope

The toy industry has the answer for that, maybe you are just frustrated about it and makes it worse"

I’ve tons of toys……

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in hope "

I know a therapy that would help you but for some reason, I am not allowed to say on the forum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I live in hope

I know a therapy that would help you but for some reason, I am not allowed to say on the forum. "

Oh what’s that?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This does happen to me, I think when I'm with someone I overthink it and tell myself I'm not going to orgasm so don't. Not suggesting this is whats happening for you OP but you're not alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

"Diabetes meds kills the effect as well ... "

That explains why I can’t cum thanx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I live in hope

Are you on any hrt? "

No I refused to take it as all they’d offer me was Premarin which is awful god awful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *h_yes_please!Man
over a year ago

North Devon

Find a female GP who specialises in gyno things. Get your hormones tested. It seams most GP’s don’t really understand or see menopause as a problem. Misogyny perhaps. Took a wile for my wife to feel normal again having tried a few different things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just heard about a pussy pump recently, don't know if it would help you cum but they are supposed to make you feel a lot more sensitive. Also maybe worth a trip to your doctor's to get your hormones checked, could be a slight imbalance. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m the same, very few can make Me in my whole lifetime and I take no medications at all for anything. For me I think it’s letting go of control so trust factors and also mostly I am very mentally stimulated, if the person doesn’t interest me mentally or the mood, setting location lol isn’t right then it just isn’t happening. For me I enjoy it though because it makes my appetite last longer and when it does happen.. it’s intense. Maybe try the drs like people have said but it might be more looking at what you really like, what turns you on and hugely important are they doing lots of play. I think preplay really is the most important thing average women are meant to take 30minutes to warm up it said on tv.. hope you find some help and happiness

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

biggest thing is being relaxed and comfortable with the other person/ people. don't make it the goal to cum ( just putting more pressure on yourself) but just enjoy the experience, take it slow, switch it round, let things build gradually. listen to your body, have somebody that listens to you and is willing to just go with the flow with no expectations, them "trying" to make you cum will probably make it worse."assisting you to achieve orgasm" is another thing. I'd say 70% orgasm is state of mind.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adylydfordWoman
over a year ago

altinkum

Im not condoning this or advising it... but i had the same problem and in the last year i have taken up vap ing mary jane ad now i cant stop cumming with sex!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in hope

I know a therapy that would help you but for some reason, I am not allowed to say on the forum.

Oh what’s that? "

Think of what Paul Mckenna does.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly menopause related? I'm 4 years post menopause, its definitely different now than it was, doesn't happen so easily as it did

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Possibly menopause related? I'm 4 years post menopause, its definitely different now than it was, doesn't happen so easily as it did

Mrs"

Went through the m’pause 9 years ago, I was fine 6 years ago. I was celibate for last 5 years, I was diagnosed with Sicca in February last year, which basically dries your body out, eyes, skin, mouth, other parts….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *armupartistMan
over a year ago

York

My Mrs had your problems and it turned her off to sex altogether so I pursued the science and psychology of the orgasm, there were some common threads...

...don’t try too hard (sex shouldn’t be goal orientated!

...allow plenty of time for sex play (afternoon sex is often recommended)!

...touch is everything but it has to be delicate and inquisitive and stay away from the clit for as long as possible.

...a blindfold allows you to be totally focused on touch or the contrary not distracted by images.

...if the desire doesn’t build an orgasm won’t follow.

All these elements can be embodied in skilful, sensitive, intimate massage if you can find find a ‘lover’ with the talent. Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could try watching love, sex and goop if it’s still streaming…. Just for ideas on different types of arousal. Also like someone else has said, I recommend a Womaniser Duo. Expensive but, I think multiple orgasms are priceless

I agree with the post above - blindfolds help you to zone out all the intrusive thoughts and also water based lube for the win! I’m no expert but I know that it’s in the mind and once you’re really relaxed it’ll happen. Maybe try finding a reputable Yoni masseuse - not one from fab lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Sounds like a voyage of personal self discovery is required.

So much has changed both physically an mentally that you have forgot how to give over to the pleasures that your body can create for you.

Alot of the pleasure comes from the mind before the phyiscal.

You have to be happy in yourself and be able to rediscover your body.

It's a quite night in a hot bubble bath. Trailing fingers across your body. Filling the senses.

It's a warm bed in romantic surroundings caressing touching and remembering the the tingles of joy.

Your medical condition will affect you mentally. A good lubricant will help.

Warm coconut oil can be a great lubricant for self discovery.

Not so much with toys and partners.

Water bases lubricant for those peeps.

Small steps at a time.

Happy self discovery xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Menopause…… started mine ..then lots of new meds last year … ended it … it’s such a shame for us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Menopause…… started mine ..then lots of new meds last year … ended it … it’s such a shame for us

It’s not the menopause

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

I went to see my doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and was referred to a sex therapist who suggested HRT which helped but didn't solve the problem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Diabetes meds kills the effect as well ...

That explains why I can’t cum thanx"

Prolonged raised blood sugars are more likely to be the cause.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I went to see my doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and was referred to a sex therapist who suggested HRT which helped but didn't solve the problem. "

Which HRT did they give you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

"I went to see my doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and was referred to a sex therapist who suggested HRT which helped but didn't solve the problem.

Which HRT did they give you? "

The most basic one they could and I had to beg for it as there's a history of breast cancer in my family.

(I'm pretty sure that if orgasming was necessary for a woman to become pregnant then there would be a lot more interest/research into a woman's inability to orgasm.)

I would have a chat with your doctor though, especially as you could orgasm, but now can't. Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I went to see my doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and was referred to a sex therapist who suggested HRT which helped but didn't solve the problem.

Which HRT did they give you?

The most basic one they could and I had to beg for it as there's a history of breast cancer in my family.

(I'm pretty sure that if orgasming was necessary for a woman to become pregnant then there would be a lot more interest/research into a woman's inability to orgasm.)

I would have a chat with your doctor though, especially as you could orgasm, but now can't. Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion. "

I was just wondering if they gave you Premarin.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rufinWoman
over a year ago

notts

did you try vaginal oestrogen instead of systemic hrt?

Also, if you can source it, cbd lube or even better thc lube, both of which increase blood flow to the clitoris

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

"I went to see my doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and was referred to a sex therapist who suggested HRT which helped but didn't solve the problem.

Which HRT did they give you?

The most basic one they could and I had to beg for it as there's a history of breast cancer in my family.

(I'm pretty sure that if orgasming was necessary for a woman to become pregnant then there would be a lot more interest/research into a woman's inability to orgasm.)

I would have a chat with your doctor though, especially as you could orgasm, but now can't. Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion.

I was just wondering if they gave you Premarin."

Yes, it was Premarin at the lowest dose possible.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I went to see my doctor to rule out any underlying health issues and was referred to a sex therapist who suggested HRT which helped but didn't solve the problem.

Which HRT did they give you?

The most basic one they could and I had to beg for it as there's a history of breast cancer in my family.

(I'm pretty sure that if orgasming was necessary for a woman to become pregnant then there would be a lot more interest/research into a woman's inability to orgasm.)

I would have a chat with your doctor though, especially as you could orgasm, but now can't. Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion.

I was just wondering if they gave you Premarin.

Yes, it was Premarin at the lowest dose possible."

. Do you know what that is, how it’s “made”?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"did you try vaginal oestrogen instead of systemic hrt?

Also, if you can source it, cbd lube or even better thc lube, both of which increase blood flow to the clitoris"

Me?

I won’t use CBD anything, but I do use a prescribed vaginal oestrogen for all the use it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread