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How have people approached the subject.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How have people approached the subject of swinging with there other half?

I’ve been with my wife for 21 years and have a very strong relationship and we’ve gone through a lot together. Now in the past the wife has been unfaithful but we’ve got through that.

Few year ago before covid the wife text me out the blue to ask me if I knew there was a swinging club in local area. When asked she said she was just intrigued by what went off there but wasn’t “into the idea” main reason was she seems to think the scene is full of old people (her words not mine)

Since then I’ve come to realise I’m very into to the idea of sharing the wife and have always found the idea of watching her in bed with someone else a huge turn on, and on a few occasions when I’ve mentioned to imagine “she’s being fucked by a strange cock” during sex she has instantly become more turned on.

No my wife is a very private person and takes a lot for her to open up and in the past she will say she’s interested in something only to then panic a bit and shut back down.

What advice do people have about approaching the subject of maybe meeting other people, as I’m sure she does this already anyway as do I but I’d rather her feel comfortable doing into without sneaking around and if cause be safe and experience it together, but don’t want to put my cards on the table only for it to blow up in my face

Thanks in advance

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Surely you just ask her would she like to go to a swinging club? Explain you don't have to do anything (on our first visit we just played with each other in a room on our own). We wouldn't recommend it unless you have a great sex life already. If you do have, we would wonder why you're here without her knowledge.

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By *ad_Bod_ToddMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I'm a little confused about you initialling saying you have a strong relationship and then going on to suggest that you believe your other half already sees other people without your knowledge. Sounds like a communication issue.

I'd be open and honest BUT approach it in a playful way. So you could ask her if she ever fantasises about being with other men (for example) and see where that conversation leads. Or maybe ask her about that text message from years ago. What sparked that initial interest/curiosity for her?

Best wishes OP.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

In my opinion there's only one way to approach this and that's by openly talking to a partner. Only you know how to initiate a conversation with her but of you're looking for a set of words guaranteed to get a positive response there isn't one.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

So your wife has been unfaithful now you are and you want to suggest a club!!! Think you need to think about your relationship first

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By *orkshireDrifterMan
over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

I fully take your point as to she having played away in the past but that is now fully resolved. That indeed does speak well for your relationship.

That you are excited by the idea of her getting fucked by another man is hardly unusual, sites like this are full of such couples. That said swinging is very different to having an affaire outside of the marriage, it avoids deceit, it is open and it is purely an uncomplicated sexual contact.

Clubs have been suggested and this indeed could work if you can both get over the butterflies! Maybe a meet with another experienced couple or guy with the clear agreement that it will just be a social meet to discuss their experiences. I would suggest such occurring at your home if possible, that being your 'terretory' and you being more in control.

I seem to attract quite a few nubies both sexually and as a naturist to experiencing social nudity and these 'no expectation' meets seem to work rather well. In reality they often develop further but that is just how it goes not a requirement.

Good luck.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m not suggesting heading to a club I’m simply suggesting it’s something she has obviously considered and a more open relationship is something I would be open to as feel there a whole world of experiences out there for us to both enjoy as a couple.

I’m just intrigued to know if other females have found it difficult to open up to there male partners about it for fear of opening a hornets nest and rocking the boat so to speak.

Thanks for the reply’s so far will take both positive and negative comments onboard

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville


"How have people approached the subject of swinging with there other half?

I’ve been with my wife for 21 years and have a very strong relationship and we’ve gone through a lot together. Now in the past the wife has been unfaithful but we’ve got through that.

Few year ago before covid the wife text me out the blue to ask me if I knew there was a swinging club in local area. When asked she said she was just intrigued by what went off there but wasn’t “into the idea” main reason was she seems to think the scene is full of old people (her words not mine)

Since then I’ve come to realise I’m very into to the idea of sharing the wife and have always found the idea of watching her in bed with someone else a huge turn on, and on a few occasions when I’ve mentioned to imagine “she’s being fucked by a strange cock” during sex she has instantly become more turned on.

No my wife is a very private person and takes a lot for her to open up and in the past she will say she’s interested in something only to then panic a bit and shut back down.

What advice do people have about approaching the subject of maybe meeting other people, as I’m sure she does this already anyway as do I but I’d rather her feel comfortable doing into without sneaking around and if cause be safe and experience it together, but don’t want to put my cards on the table only for it to blow up in my face

Thanks in advance "

Can I pm you my opinion?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If it’s helpful and none judgemental then fire away

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By *osineCouple
over a year ago

Weston-Super-Mare

I told my hubby about 2/3 weeks into us seeing each other that I am filthy and wasn't going to change who I was for anyone. It was up to him to then make a choice if he was OK with that before moving forward with the then potential relationship.

We have 100% open and clear communication and have never argued.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Welcome to the forum

We made a list of all the fantasies we had, with a column next to it of yes and no as to whether we would be open to trying them out for real. We then swopped lists, found we had many that were the same and were we both had said yes to and started to try most of them out.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

If she's already brought the subject up then she's probably testing the waters with you. Follow it up by looking into the local clubs (most have websites with galleries of how it looks inside). Show them to her and suggest you both visit one sometime, just to look around. You don't need to actually play if you don't want to.

Plant that seed and leave her to think about it. Once (if) you've been to a club, talk about the things you saw and how they made you feel. Test the waters with things you'd both like to try.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville


"If it’s helpful and none judgemental then fire away "

Messaged it's a long one sorry lol x it's all positive x

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville


"Welcome to the forum

We made a list of all the fantasies we had, with a column next to it of yes and no as to whether we would be open to trying them out for real. We then swopped lists, found we had many that were the same and were we both had said yes to and started to try most of them out.

"

That's some top advice! We haven't done that yet, we've knocked a few off our list but this could be fun to do anyway!!

Oh hubby! Grab a pen and paper....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/12/21 16:28:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the most important foundations for swinging as a couple in our view is that you, together, with each other have an incredible sex life.

Is that the case OP?

The fact that your here on Fab without your wifes knowledge looking to cheat on her suggests it might not be.....but I'll let you answer that OP.

KJ

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield


"Welcome to the forum

We made a list of all the fantasies we had, with a column next to it of yes and no as to whether we would be open to trying them out for real. We then swopped lists, found we had many that were the same and were we both had said yes to and started to try most of them out.

"

What an excellent idea! Maybe a score out of five to gague whether there is any flexibility.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"One of the most important foundations for swinging as a couple in our view is that you, together, with each other have an incredible sex life.

Is that the case OP?

The fact that your here on Fab without your wifes knowledge looking to cheat on her suggests it might not be.....but I'll let you answer that OP.

KJ"

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Welcome to the forum

We made a list of all the fantasies we had, with a column next to it of yes and no as to whether we would be open to trying them out for real. We then swopped lists, found we had many that were the same and were we both had said yes to and started to try most of them out.

What an excellent idea! Maybe a score out of five to gague whether there is any flexibility. "

Good idea

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By *ittle MonkeysCouple
over a year ago

Kimberley

Maybe you could just say something like “remember that time when you asked me about a swingers club? Well it got me intrigued too and there is one in Nottingham. The website looks interesting if you fancy taking a look”

See what her response is.

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Excellent just go say you want a night out and have a nice time together too good luck

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Maybe you could just say something like “remember that time when you asked me about a swingers club? Well it got me intrigued too and there is one in Nottingham. The website looks interesting if you fancy taking a look”

See what her response is."

This seems the simplest and most logical approach

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By *otshot14Woman
over a year ago

nuneaton

I would have a chat,and maybe get her really talking about it.why,why not.

Or even try taking her to a club,and just say we r going out,do not put any pressure on her about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well looking at our local club I’ve seen they do a newbies workshop there’s 3 nights that I think would be of interest

Eyes wide shut ( a particular favourite film of her)

Cosplay (again something she’s expressed interest in)

Newbies workshop

Deffo going to suggest the fantasy list that’s a great idea

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We'd say tell you wife about your FAB and try and introduce her to the scene but assure her nothing has the to happen.

And remember, honestly is the best policy eh!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"One of the most important foundations for swinging as a couple in our view is that you, together, with each other have an incredible sex life.

Is that the case OP?

The fact that your here on Fab without your wifes knowledge looking to cheat on her suggests it might not be.....but I'll let you answer that OP.

KJ"

This, you say you got through her being unfaithful, yet you're looking to do the same, so I'm not sure you have.

Talk to your wife, open and honest communication is what is needed from you both op.

Good luck

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By *exandthesuburbans83Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

Open and honest conversation laying it all out on the table is a must. Maybe find a social meet instead of just a couple or club. Then there is less pressure and you can meet some like minded people.

For us, we had a real heart to heart about it. Being honest, Mrs was less into it than Mr at start but now we equally enjoy it as we have found what we both like and actually supprised each other with a few new kinks we developed during.

Good luck. Also be prepared for a chat where she may not be as into it as thats where it is harder when one does and tye other doesn't. That was Mr biggest fear when we chatted about it for the first time.

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