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Should I or shouldn't I?

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By *angbangFantasy OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

Hi all,

I'd appreciate any advice you can give me

So I met a guy at a greedy girls party on Halloween, he's not on fab but from that threesome app (that begins with F and ends in eeld).

We ended up playing and talking for over 4 hours towards the latter half of the party, we really hit it off. After the party we were talking every day, texting, phone calls, voice messages and met a couple of times (he even helped me pack as I moved flat).

We've not seen each other for 2 weeks now and he messages less. Last weekend he was ill and I didn't know he was because he didn't tell me till after I sent him a voice note saying I'd understand of he was seeing other people and I'd appreciate some honesty so I don't have to ignore other guys I'm talking to.

20 minutes later he called and told me he was ill and isn't very good at messaging anyone when he's not well. Also, he told me that he wasn't seeing or talking to anyone else and that he was very keen on me.

He doesn't message as much as he did initially and I know life gets in the way, but I still get messages from guys I was talking to even before I met him and they're asking to meet and part of me does, but I don't know how to say it to him. Am I just feeling this way because I'm not getting the attention from him? I mean, it's not like we're together and he isn't exactly vanilla but I don't want to upset him if I do have play meets.

My last boyfriend we were both on here and had play meets with others separately, but he's not even my boyfriend.

How do I approach this?

Thank you

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By *van696969Man
over a year ago

g

I think he might be playing you, sorry to say but hope I’m wrong for your sake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think he might be playing you, sorry to say but hope I’m wrong for your sake"

i think hes just swinging and having fun i dont think hes looking for the same as you... so until your seeing each other in a different life do as i think he is and carry on swinging ... hes not ill hes is playing you there but at the end of the day hes swinging and so should you ...dont let your heart rule your head .... not yet anyway .... good luck op

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Move on....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Contact him, ask him to have a chat about moving forward and how you'd both like things to be. It doesn't need to be a heavy discussion just a brief conversation clarifying where you both stand.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Give him a call and have a chat as others have said or suggest going out for a drink together and do it face to face.

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

If he isn't messaging as much as he used too, then just park him for a while and go out and have fun with others. That's what I'd do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been in this situation just recently, go meet other guys and enjoy yourself, until hes honest with you your a free agent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've not agreed to be exclusive. Play with the other guys darling xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have found throughout my life though that in certain situations familiarity breeds contempt. If a guys interest falls off so quickly he's probably not that bothered. I suspect that if you take a step back yourself he will suddenly become more interested, even so who wants to live life game playing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have found throughout my life though that in certain situations familiarity breeds contempt. If a guys interest falls off so quickly he's probably not that bothered. I suspect that if you take a step back yourself he will suddenly become more interested, even so who wants to live life game playing."

This is exactly what happened with now, to the extent where he messaged me constantly and ive had to tell him to leave me alone

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have found throughout my life though that in certain situations familiarity breeds contempt. If a guys interest falls off so quickly he's probably not that bothered. I suspect that if you take a step back yourself he will suddenly become more interested, even so who wants to live life game playing.

This is exactly what happened with now, to the extent where he messaged me constantly and ive had to tell him to leave me alone "

If anyone is only interested when you appear not to be they aren't worth it. The ones who are worth it remain consistent.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Life’s too short to hold yourself back for a man, love. Do you actually want to meet any of these other chaps? If so, do it. If not, don’t.

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By *ornyone30Man
over a year ago

ABERDEEN

Sounds like you both have different ideas of where you want this relationship to go. Some things are maybe not meant to be

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By *ad_Bod_ToddMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire

You have proper gone and caught 'the feels' for him! Welcome to the club! Everyone does it sooner or later.

Have a call/chat and tell him as Nicecouple561 have said. Doesn't need to be heavy and emotional. Just clear and precise. Honesty is never a wasted effort.

You'll get an answer one way or the other. Even if it is not the answer that you want, it will be the answer that you need.

Best wishes OP and bon chance!

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London


"Hi all,

I'd appreciate any advice you can give me

So I met a guy at a greedy girls party on Halloween, he's not on fab but from that threesome app (that begins with F and ends in eeld).

We ended up playing and talking for over 4 hours towards the latter half of the party, we really hit it off. After the party we were talking every day, texting, phone calls, voice messages and met a couple of times (he even helped me pack as I moved flat).

We've not seen each other for 2 weeks now and he messages less. Last weekend he was ill and I didn't know he was because he didn't tell me till after I sent him a voice note saying I'd understand of he was seeing other people and I'd appreciate some honesty so I don't have to ignore other guys I'm talking to.

20 minutes later he called and told me he was ill and isn't very good at messaging anyone when he's not well. Also, he told me that he wasn't seeing or talking to anyone else and that he was very keen on me.

He doesn't message as much as he did initially and I know life gets in the way, but I still get messages from guys I was talking to even before I met him and they're asking to meet and part of me does, but I don't know how to say it to him. Am I just feeling this way because I'm not getting the attention from him? I mean, it's not like we're together and he isn't exactly vanilla but I don't want to upset him if I do have play meets.

My last boyfriend we were both on here and had play meets with others separately, but he's not even my boyfriend.

How do I approach this?

Thank you "

Hm, not to be cynical but men often say things they mean in the moment but it changes afterwards. If the words are not matching the actions then understandable that you are having doubts.

Did he ask you and did you agree to be exclusive? If not then you do not have to stop dating other people at all. He has no right to have unspoken expectations of you. In any case, it is best not to assume that monogamy is an automatic option unless you know for sure and you've had a clear conversation about it.

My advice would be to engage with others until and unless this new person gives you a good reason to consider becoming exclusive and shows consistent interest by actions. No need to put your life on hold in some unspoken expectation as it is not fair on either of you.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

He’s told you “he’s very keen on you” but doesn’t message?

Yeah right!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Move on. It's not as if men are a rare commodity on here.

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Only one way to deal with this, aski him straight out then you know and can move in with or without him x rip that band aid off x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 05/12/21 16:33:50]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 05/12/21 16:35:59]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Unless I am reading this wrong, you met him at a greedy girls event - both you and he are likely single, so do what you want. Meet whoever you want, if he doesn't want to get back fine, if he does he likely knows you've fucked a dozen men inbetween as has he?

(can't spell)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"If he isn't messaging as much as he used too, then just park him for a while and go out and have fun with others. That's what I'd do "

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds so familiar! He's playing you. Go ahead and meet the other guys. If he wanted you he'd be messaging you. So many time wasters lately x

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By *orkshireDrifterMan
over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

It's always a risk that feelings start to intrude and complicate things.

That said, you both started on the right footing at a greedy girl event.

As suggested as above, keep meeting and fucking guys & maybe invite him to be one of those attending?

That may well be his thing?

Organising a group fuck on here is hard enough with all the dreamers, timewasters and last minute nerves merchants that having at least one reliable guys is worth a lot.

That way you may well keep his friendship without being exclusive?

Good luck.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

I’d say he’s playing you op

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