FabSwingers.com forum: Advice Please

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone,

I have not posted on here before but I am sure some of you have had similar things happen so I am looking for advice.

We have been chatting to a couple (We thought!) recently who seemed very nice.

It turned out they/he did not live where their profile says. They lived a LOT closer than that.

Anyway. The guy started to get really pushy and had a complete meltdown when we didn't message back for 36 hours.

We blocked him/them and thought that would be it. We have just had another message from another account of his (single male account) finishing with "Might see you at the school gates sometime"

Now to me that crosses the line in a big way. I have reported it on here and I am just going into town - I have copies of all the emails and I feel like I should make a complaint to the police.

Has anyone has anything similar happen. What did you do?

Any advice appreciated

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being honest here

you blocked him and he came back on another profile. REPORT TO ADMIN

as for the comment "i will see you at the school gates maybe" hes not threatening you and obviously he knows what you look like. the police will agree no threats have actually taken place and they cant do nothing.

im not being harsh just stating facts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of the problems with what we are doing.

Theres always the chance that someone will be on your door step.

We arnt really were we are on our profile and have had quite a few message us from our real village (without them knowing).

To which we have to say no.

It makes you think.

I'd be worried about some stalker turning up at the school gates.

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"being honest here

you blocked him and he came back on another profile. REPORT TO ADMIN

im not being harsh just stating facts "

yes, it's a bit scary and downright rude that he thinks it's ok to say this to you. I would report to admin as per above and make it clear to him how out of order his comments were.

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

yeah agree no point going to police he hasnt committed any offence yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be worried about some stalker turning up at the school gates."

stalker has he actually been sitting out side your house and making calls to u etc

hard line really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be worried about some stalker turning up at the school gates.

stalker has he actually been sitting out side your house and making calls to u etc

hard line really

Stalker is someone that rings none stop, sends you 3 huge bouquets of roses.

You turn round in a shop with your kids and he's stood there.

Pull in on the way home from collage to get credit for your phone and he's stood by your jeep.

Sits outside your house, you turn up to turn your horses out at 6.30 in the morning and he's there before you.

Tells you he's just left his wife and children for you.

all this from 3 meets with him and his wife. No come ons nothing.

So yes i do know what a stalker is.

The only way i stopped it was to tell

his mate who was a police man to have a word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be worried about some stalker turning up at the school gates.

stalker has he actually been sitting out side your house and making calls to u etc

hard line really

Stalker is someone that rings none stop, sends you 3 huge bouquets of roses.

You turn round in a shop with your kids and he's stood there.

Pull in on the way home from collage to get credit for your phone and he's stood by your jeep.

Sits outside your house, you turn up to turn your horses out at 6.30 in the morning and he's there before you.

Tells you he's just left his wife and children for you.

all this from 3 meets with him and his wife. No come ons nothing.

So yes i do know what a stalker is.

The only way i stopped it was to tell

his mate who was a police man to have a word"

wow now thats a weirdo, but still any situation like OP's is an invasion of privacy no matter how minor it may seem 2 other's it is threatening behaviour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be worried about some stalker turning up at the school gates.

stalker has he actually been sitting out side your house and making calls to u etc

hard line really

Stalker is someone that rings none stop, sends you 3 huge bouquets of roses.

You turn round in a shop with your kids and he's stood there.

Pull in on the way home from collage to get credit for your phone and he's stood by your jeep.

Sits outside your house, you turn up to turn your horses out at 6.30 in the morning and he's there before you.

Tells you he's just left his wife and children for you.

all this from 3 meets with him and his wife. No come ons nothing.

So yes i do know what a stalker is.

The only way i stopped it was to tell

his mate who was a police man to have a word"

and that is a stalker yes!! but the op the person is describing doesnt fit that bill, nothing has been mentioned about that apart from one comment

" i might see you at the school gates"

i had one telling me they will see me at work one day and it didn't bother me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He could just be bluffing, did you ever mention you had children?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice everyone.

From reading the above it looks like it gets a lot worse than this...

Anyway - I did decided to pop in and have a chat at the police station.

It may have been an empty threat or not meant that way at all but the way the comment was made left us feeling very uncomfortable.

Taking something from here and threatening to bring it into your private family life, especially in a place where your children would be involved is completely not on in my book. We hadn't said or done anything that should have provoked any negative reaction. Let alone that.

They were very good about it all and although nothing can be done at the moment at least they are aware.

I can understand why people may not put their actually location down and if they are going to decline anyone near where they actually live that is fine. But if you are going to contact people who live near you and then not tell the immediately when your location isn't right you remove that choice from them which doesn't seem very fair to me.

Another lesson learnt!

Cheers all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Report to admin, get copies....HARD PRINT copies....of any messages. if he contacts you again, inform him that for safty reasons you have informed the appropriate authorities of your concerns.

Have said on numerous occasions on posts like this....there is no excuse WHAT SO EVER for behaviour like this, it only gives the papers more ammunition to throw at sites like this and our lifestyle choices. Zero tolerance applies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

^ This

I unblocked long enough to send a polite message expressing exactly that.

Thanks again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be worried about some stalker turning up at the school gates.

stalker has he actually been sitting out side your house and making calls to u etc

hard line really

He should've been gelded!

Stalker is someone that rings none stop, sends you 3 huge bouquets of roses.

You turn round in a shop with your kids and he's stood there.

Pull in on the way home from collage to get credit for your phone and he's stood by your jeep.

Sits outside your house, you turn up to turn your horses out at 6.30 in the morning and he's there before you.

Tells you he's just left his wife and children for you.

all this from 3 meets with him and his wife. No come ons nothing.

So yes i do know what a stalker is.

The only way i stopped it was to tell

his mate who was a police man to have a word"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reported someone to admin but no action...

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

This is scary . I had a situation once where admin turned out to be crap. I had a guy fail to turn up after we'd arranged to meet in a town centre cafe. Whilst I was waiting there, he texted to say he was watching me and getting turned on . I texted him and asked him to meet me, and he gave me this bullshit about him just getting off on just watching, and that he'd unexpectedly bumped into a friend anyway, so he couldn't. Later, I get a load of messages on here from some woman claiming to be his 'friend' saying what a nice guy he was and would I give him another chance!!

I went onto the forum to rant, and to warn others, and fucking admin blocked me from using the forum for so called 'bad mouthing' someone. They obviously looked into all the facts very closely - NOT! W T F !!!!!!

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon

All in all a horrible situation and position to be put in, not sure why people are like this and it must be horrible. I hope you get it sorted very soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reported someone to admin but no action...

sometimes you have to take you own steps to limit the weirdos activities....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol don't get me started. We block people for no other reason but they are not our type and think nothing of it, it just saves time.

Anyways we did this to one couple. They made a new account and we did it again lol but at the time we didn't know it was the same people, they sent a dodgy email To my single account saying things that you don't say! Turns out my bf had played with them before and the wife got a shitty on cos I didn't want to play.

Blocked and reported lol.

Get a grip we don't all want to have sex with everyone! I don't take offence when blocked nor am I desperate enough to stalk someone for sex or anything else!

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