FabSwingers.com forum: Bdsm

By *urgeon OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Just getting into this but not very experienced does any body want to educate me. As a bottom and basically sub I've enjoyed some gentle dominant experiences. Still don't understand why I find it exciting. ?

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By *ave1963MexboroughMan
over a year ago

Mexborough

Why do you feel the need to understand it? I just go with it. It makes me feel brilliant and that's good enough for me.

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By *urgeon OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

yes good point!!!

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By *ave1963MexboroughMan
over a year ago

Mexborough

I like to try new things and have recently considered experiencing being pegged.

But I don't analyse why I want to try it. If the opportunity ever arises where I'm with a lady who's happy to introduce me to it then I'll just see how I feel about it at the end of the session.

If I like it I'll probably do it again. If it's not for me then at least I'll not be in the position of never knowing.

Live for the moment and enjoy as many new experiences as possible.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Just getting into this but not very experienced does any body want to educate me. As a bottom and basically sub I've enjoyed some gentle dominant experiences. Still don't understand why I find it exciting. ?"

I found that reading the book Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns helped me understand why I enjoyed bdsm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes good point!!!"

I think it’s a good thing to be inquisitive! It’s fun! I’ve been having the same conversation with a fwb this week about kinks…. Maybe it comes from watching sexy films when you were younger, or you may have a career which is high pressure and you just want to enjoy letting go for a bit. There’ll be things you have no idea if you’ll like, too, and surprise yourself ha! Enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's different for different people. When I grew up in India, I went to a school where all the teachers were females. Laws about punishments given to students is a recent phenomenon there. It was not the case when I went to school. My teachers give mild punishments like asking to kneel down etc when making mistakes. When I hit puberty, these were the same women I fantasised all the time. Now when I look back, I feel that's the reason why I turned out to be a sub. I like women who are dominant, know what they want and ask for it, even outside the bedroom.

I am not a psychologist obviously. So this guess maybe wrong. And there could be other men who became submissive for totally different reasons. Sad that not much research has gone into finding whether one becoming submissive is determined by nature or nurture.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I think there is a difference between questioning why you are what you are, and self refection on what you are and what is about BDSM/kink that you enjoy.

Although I accept that if you can discover what made you what you are it may help you understand what you like and help you explore.

However, some of us are, what we are, there is no "Rosebud" moment in our past to be discovered.

My only self exploration these days is to understand my kinky self and to be authentic to my kinky self.

There are shedload of resources out there, and now that being into BDSM (within certain limits) is no longer counted as a mental illness it is starting to become a respectable subject for research. That being said watching the news tonight are a still a load of backward psychologists out there.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think there is a difference between questioning why you are what you are, and self refection on what you are and what is about BDSM/kink that you enjoy.

Although I accept that if you can discover what made you what you are it may help you understand what you like and help you explore.

However, some of us are, what we are, there is no "Rosebud" moment in our past to be discovered.

My only self exploration these days is to understand my kinky self and to be authentic to my kinky self.

I thought the very same re the news. I rolled my eyes and felt affronted that he lumped me in the same category as the guy they were talking about

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

"I think there is a difference between questioning why you are what you are, and self refection on what you are and what is about BDSM/kink that you enjoy.

Although I accept that if you can discover what made you what you are it may help you understand what you like and help you explore.

However, some of us are, what we are, there is no "Rosebud" moment in our past to be discovered.

My only self exploration these days is to understand my kinky self and to be authentic to my kinky self.

I thought the very same re the news. I rolled my eyes and felt affronted that he lumped me in the same category as the guy they were talking about"

I could not believe it and felt the same myself. People like that psychologist embolden the moralists to pass stupid laws and allow banks to put in place rules that curtail our rights as human beings.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I think there is a difference between questioning why you are what you are, and self refection on what you are and what is about BDSM/kink that you enjoy.

Although I accept that if you can discover what made you what you are it may help you understand what you like and help you explore.

However, some of us are, what we are, there is no "Rosebud" moment in our past to be discovered.

My only self exploration these days is to understand my kinky self and to be authentic to my kinky self.

I thought the very same re the news. I rolled my eyes and felt affronted that he lumped me in the same category as the guy they were talking about"

I said exactly the same to Mr KC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very submissive and always have been, I’ve never really questioned why and have just accepted that that’s the way I am. I think if we question something we’re implying that it’s wrong, society used to question why some people are gay, thankfully they don’t any more, and it would be nice if BDSM and similar kinks/fetishes were accepted in the same way, I can’t see that happening for a while though.

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