FabSwingers.com forum: Safety when meeting men alone

By *urious_couple_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

South Cambs

Hi, hubby and I are trying out the new hotwife lifestyle. Opportunities have recently come up where I can meet a man alone at their home. I just wondered what measures people are taking when meeting alone to ensure safety. I just want to try and avoid meeting Dexter and walking into a serial killers home!

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By *ndecidedjMan
over a year ago

barton le clay/Harrow

I guess until you get comfortable with the guy you could have hubby wait outside in the car for the first couple of meets? Once you're happy he's not a serial killer hubby can then stay at home and watch what he likes on telly!

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

It’s all about communication OP, over a decent length of time too. You may want to develop that on a 3 way WhatsApp or kik chat , do a phone call or maybe a coffee. Speak to there verifications, I’m always happy for people to speak to mine. Get to know someone properly before you do the meet. I don’t think you will have any issues then

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

If I am meeting someone alone in my home I insist on them having someone to call when they arrive and again when they leave. I also supply my phone number.

I also do the same I have a friend who I can call. This is for my safety as much as theirs.

Personally I prefer to meet both partners at a pub so we both know and understand boundaries and establish trust

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Personally if I were meeting as a single woman I wouldn't meet a man at his home or in a hotel. I'd choose a club where we could go to a private room but still have people around.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I wouldn’t go to someone’s house unless I was 100% sure then I would let someone know where I am

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Personally if I were meeting as a single woman I wouldn't meet a man at his home or in a hotel. I'd choose a club where we could go to a private room but still have people around. "

Or do a social in a public place first

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always have a social first op, so we can gage the attraction and how we get on, in a no pressure environment.

If you go to his and don't want to go further, it's much more awkward.

Some women even bring their partners to socials I've seen.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"Hi, hubby and I are trying out the new hotwife lifestyle. Opportunities have recently come up where I can meet a man alone at their home. I just wondered what measures people are taking when meeting alone to ensure safety. I just want to try and avoid meeting Dexter and walking into a serial killers home!"

I meet ladies alone. Assuming they dont want to meet my mrs to verify my legitimacy, I'll meet in a public place for a social and follow their rules. I would assume my veris speak for me as well but only the lady can decide how shes comfy proceeding.

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By *edonisticHandfulWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

When either of us do meets we turn on Google location tracker on our phone. Hubby knows where I am and when I should be back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally if I were meeting as a single woman I wouldn't meet a man at his home or in a hotel. I'd choose a club where we could go to a private room but still have people around. "

In the absence of being able to meet socially first, this all day long!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or do a social in a public place first "

this is what we always do for any sex, apart from the safety side, it give you all time to know each other, after all people are different in the flesh,gives all parties a way to back out if needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think OP you have the opportunity and wanted to grab, however with caveat of safety.

1. Ask him to meet in public place your hubby takes pic with him.

2. Drops you at his home wait outside/pub and picks you post business

3. Set code to send signals to your hubby

4. Take hubby with you and let him wait in living room untill your meeting is over.

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs

I think OP you have the opportunity and wanted to grab, however with caveat of safety.

1. Ask him to meet in public place your hubby takes pic with him.

2. Drops you at his home wait outside/pub and picks you post business

3. Set code to send signals to your hubby

4. Take hubby with you and let him wait in living room untill your meeting is over. "

This is all good advice. Make sure your hubby knows the name and address (and ideally phone number) of the guy too, and agree to check in with him that you’re OK. Maybe even agree a finishing time and tell hubby if you’ve not called within 10-15 mins of it to say you’re done then he should come and get you. Make sure your phone is charged and you have a portable charging pack just in case.

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

I only meet in a public place, to get to meet and greet someone I've never met. I used go to homes, but had a few bizarre experiences. Usually I meet in a hotel lobby, under the cameras, in full view of the staff, for my peace of mind. That way, I can say yes or no, if they want to take it further, and just walk away if I'm not happy. It's much more difficult to do that in a person's home.

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

"Personally if I were meeting as a single woman I wouldn't meet a man at his home or in a hotel. I'd choose a club where we could go to a private room but still have people around. "

100% this.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"It’s all about communication OP, over a decent length of time too. You may want to develop that on a 3 way WhatsApp or kik chat , do a phone call or maybe a coffee. Speak to there verifications, I’m always happy for people to speak to mine. Get to know someone properly before you do the meet. I don’t think you will have any issues then "

Definitely go with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I am meeting someone alone in my home I insist on them having someone to call when they arrive and again when they leave. I also supply my phone number.

I also do the same I have a friend who I can call. This is for my safety as much as theirs.

Personally I prefer to meet both partners at a pub so we both know and understand boundaries and establish trust"

Great idea!

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

Full riot gear and a baton with spikes on just in case they get a bit lairy

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"Personally if I were meeting as a single woman I wouldn't meet a man at his home or in a hotel. I'd choose a club where we could go to a private room but still have people around. "
this for me...so can't really help the OP

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Assuming that your doing basic things like letting him know where your going... Why not ring him, and leave it on whilst you do whatever you do?

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Go to a club or play together. Hubby caught a guy we thought we trusted trying to take off his condom to go bareback against our wishes! Definitely ruined the evening. I would never feel safe without hubby in the room.

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Take a picture of his reg plate and send it to someone you trust.. This is something I always do.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Take a picture of his reg plate and send it to someone you trust.. This is something I always do. "

Tbh if your having to do things like this then you haven’t got to know the guy well enough before embarking on a meeting

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

"Take a picture of his reg plate and send it to someone you trust.. This is something I always do.

Tbh if your having to do things like this then you haven’t got to know the guy well enough before embarking on a meeting "

After all the years of being on the Internet meeting scene.. I've come to know... No matter how much you speak with someone... Sometimes these 'nice' guys, can turn out to be not so nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally if I were meeting as a single woman I wouldn't meet a man at his home or in a hotel. I'd choose a club where we could go to a private room but still have people around.

Or do a social in a public place first "

Could still be a serial killer when they get behind closed doors

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By *Latina_SirCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere between borders

Choose wisely on profiles, set the rules n always try chose meet in neutral ground such as clubs or hotel where u can meet at the bar 1st.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Take a picture of his reg plate and send it to someone you trust.. This is something I always do.

Tbh if your having to do things like this then you haven’t got to know the guy well enough before embarking on a meeting

After all the years of being on the Internet meeting scene.. I've come to know... No matter how much you speak with someone... Sometimes these 'nice' guys, can turn out to be not so nice. "

You know I can relate to that tbh. I’ve had an encounter this year with a complete psycho. So maybe I’m not seeing this properly from a woman’s perspective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive met guys in their homes been doing so for years, i always go with my gut but theres also that slight chance of them turning out to be a wrong yin.. thats the choice i make.. i always send the address of where i am to my friend, just be careful

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

"Take a picture of his reg plate and send it to someone you trust.. This is something I always do.

Tbh if your having to do things like this then you haven’t got to know the guy well enough before embarking on a meeting

After all the years of being on the Internet meeting scene.. I've come to know... No matter how much you speak with someone... Sometimes these 'nice' guys, can turn out to be not so nice.

You know I can relate to that tbh. I’ve had an encounter this year with a complete psycho. So maybe I’m not seeing this properly from a woman’s perspective "

If a guy gets funny with me doing something like that, then I'll walk away.. My safety is paramount.

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

After reading the truly sad account of sarah everard dying from her family i dont think i would let my wife meet any guy alone. Think a club venue is by far the only safe option in my mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It should be for both parties to set the rules not just one. Safety of both parties is important

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By *xiled BikerMan
over a year ago

Beverley

Usually meet nice hotel bar all 3 of us, I leave a keycard on the table and if the wife wishes to go to room she will pick up the keycard if not drinks giggle and a laugh and all go our own ways no pressure on anybody no uncomfortable moments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have a partner who liked 'date nights' with complete strangers so everything was a surprise to her and down to me to organise. My system (that worked) was more or less the following -

Advertise on Fab

Weed out the wannabes and obvious nutters

take the list down from 100's to maybe 5/6

Have a general chat on the phone with me

Explain the rules

guys had to photo and send me pics of 2 forms of ID (same as swingers club membership)

Give me their home address and who else lived there (preference completely single)

On the night meet her at HIS local pub

Park next to her vehicle

She sent a pic of them and vehicles including his reg number

Have a get to know each other drink in the pub

She took a selfie of both at the bar with staff in the background

She drove them to his place

Another selfie at front of property

Any drinks to be sealed bottles/cans

She was free to wander around the house to check it out

Fun time for them

Pre-arranged curfew for her to check in

She drove home.

Our phones both had emergency shortcuts if something looked like it was going wrong

As a system for safety it always worked and yes, the fall out rate from advertisement to the night was huge But for the sensible guys that made it through the system a night of fun with her! Some even became good friends with both of us for other adventures later.

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By *urious_couple_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

South Cambs

[Removed by poster at 30/09/21 09:36:14]

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By *urious_couple_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

South Cambs

I like this. To be honest any normal guy should be fine with it. It sounds like a lot but really doesn’t take much time or effort.

In fact surely a guy could get comfort from this too to save him from being falsely accused and just peace of mind for everyone

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By *urious_couple_uk OP Couple
over a year ago

South Cambs

Ooh I think we’d all get something out of this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the world of fabs the system made sure that from the 100s that replied it was the good guys that made it through, no different from then applying for a job really! lol

It helped to explain the rules at the outset. That's where the biggest drop out occurred, which was fine and you are right, it is reassurance for all parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This tip is from a lady on here so all credit to her.

Have a friend who will text/ call to see if you are ok.

Your pre agreed reply should be similar to "having a really shit time, he sucks!"

If he is a tosser and forced you to reply that you're having a great time, your friend will know that's not the agreed reply and raise the alarm.

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

as long as the guy is verified with verifications on his profile you can read and maybe ask a few of them about him you and how they felt then you should be safe but all serial killers have to start somewhere,,, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weigh up the pro's & cons.

How trustworthy are the men you're going to meet?

How safe is the place you're going to meet?

If you meet at his home, has he got any hidden cameras to record what is going to happen? Or is anyone else in the house listening/watching?

Is he trustworthy enough not to go blabbing to all his mates? Even some married men go bragging about their conquests, so it pays to ensure discretion.

Some tips to carry out if you do meet: Let hubby go and meet him first to see what kind of vibe you get from the man you're meeting. Take things from there and join them later. If he refuses, you know he won't be the one for your arrangement and only in it for a quick shag and brag.

If you do meet someone alone: Take a photo of him and his vehicle to get a reg plate, car/bike model and facial photo and send it to hubby. Nothing to hide, nothing to fear.

If things progress, start with hubby in the same room, or at least in the house to oversee your safety.

Once everyone is in agreement and on the same page, the fun will be so much more hornier!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Full riot gear and a baton with spikes on just in case they get a bit lairy

If nothing goes wrong, it can be used in BSDM

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Some great advice, same goes for singles meeting.

I always go for a social in a public place first,

I always tell a friend, send them a photo of who I'm meeting with a name etc

If anyone comes to my house I tell them my neighbour has a key and if I don't msg her she'll let herself in to check on me.

Plus the neighbours have security cameras which is handy!

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By *lamorousBeautyLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

A wealth of ideas in this thread. Personally I combine a few of those, especially public spaces etc. I do not spend too much virtual time as I do not believe that it will give me information as my perception is sharper in person. When evaluating I tend to observe small signs and it usually is a combination of factors that help to form a fuller picture. From experience I noticed that small things are important indicators. I have been strongly encouraged to continue to rely on my intuition after reading Gavin de Becker's book in which he breaks down how our intuition is influenced by small incongruous things that our brain notices but which might not reach our mind. It was a very helpful book

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

My wife, son and I have an app on our phone called ‘Life 360’. It tracks where that phone is, or if it’s turned off / out of battery. It’s free from the App Store. If one of us wants to know where the other is, it’s really easy to look.

Maybe get this along with some of the other suggestions? Stay safe hun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always always ask a lady,and a couple to meet in a public place,and let someone know where they are time they arrive and leave,and certainly don't mind anyone messaging someone to say things are ok,it's all about respect and making the other person or people feel safe and comfortable surely

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