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Getting courage to message

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Hi all,

So, as a single guy I would like to message privately, but the otherside of me bottles it for whatever daft reason.

How do ytou get the courage to send a message?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely its much easier messaging somebody in terms of courage needed compared to actually meeting? Which going by your veris you have done successfully previously?

What's the worst that can happen? If they block you, then great you won't show up in each others search anymore and you can try to contact someone else who may be interested.

KJ

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?"

I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry.

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"

Surely its much easier messaging somebody in terms of courage needed compared to actually meeting? Which going by your veris you have done successfully previously?

What's the worst that can happen? If they block you, then great you won't show up in each others search anymore and you can try to contact someone else who may be interested.

KJ"

Yes this is true, you are right. Actually didn't consider this until you mentioned that. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just dive right in and try and be pleasant, approachable and sound interesting etc (although even that might not work!).

And be prepared for LOTS of knockbacks, non-responses, messages remaining unread etc and don't take it personally. It's easy for your ego to take a battering on here but just remember the huge imbalance between men and women means you get very few positive responses.

Good luck.

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By *handsMan
over a year ago

Warrington

Just bite the bullet, trust me most if they aren’t interested won’t reply, I’ve had 1 rude reply which I didn’t respond to (if there are like that I’m glad they said no!) you are here for a reason so go and enjoy yourself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?

I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry. "

Oh ok.

Are you rude or idiotic? I doubt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just send the message, chances are they won't even see the message as its such a sauage fest on here and the women pick the men they want to know.

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?

I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry.

Oh ok.

Are you rude or idiotic? I doubt it "

I’d like to think I’m really not either of those thank you for your encouragement.

And thank to you the others as well who’ve replied with some thoughts and ideas. Really appreciated

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By *hilledcouple500Couple
over a year ago

telford


"Just send the message, chances are they won't even see the message as its such a sauage fest on here and the women pick the men they want to know."

Sausagefest is such an underused word I love it!

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"Just send the message, chances are they won't even see the message as its such a sauage fest on here and the women pick the men they want to know.

Sausagefest is such an underused word I love it!"

I did laugh at that, it’s a massively underused word.

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

What's the worst that can happen? A mean response? Delete/block and move on.

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"What's the worst that can happen? A mean response? Delete/block and move on."

Agreed, seems like I'm overthinking it just a tadge!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?

I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry. "

I would find it rude AND idiotic not to message me if you were interested so you can't really lose either way!

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?

I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry.

I would find it rude AND idiotic not to message me if you were interested so you can't really lose either way! "

Ok, now you put it that way, it does make sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What have you got to lose? The very worst that could happen is you get a rude reply, in which case they're not worth fretting over. Or you're ignored. Either way nothing changes in the real world for you.

Throw caution to the wind and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

JFDI…..there’s no consequence from it that you can’t handle.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Just do it OP try to be original and actually read the profile. Simple as that I think but that doesn’t mean you will get a reply

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Thanks all for your responses, the general gist of what I'm getting is "Just do it, what's the worst that can happen?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks all for your responses, the general gist of what I'm getting is "Just do it, what's the worst that can happen?" "

Exactly

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By *edantic SheilaWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Shoot your shot if you die you die

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I have to admit, these responses are filling me with confidence. Not felt that for a while!

Thank you both though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go for it. What’s the worst that can happen

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

If you've read their profile and you think you might be for them, then what have you got to lose!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dude you've been here over a year, you have 2 verifications already, what you worried about?

Im sure in the time you've been on fab you have dropped a message to a girl or 2.

Anyway dont worry about rejection least it cant get any worse lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your earliest verification was in October 2018 so you’ve been on here for at least 3 years and you’ve never messaged anyone? What do you do when you’re on here then? Why even are you on here if you don’t message anyone....

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Just do it confidence is one of the sexiest things you can have just don't send a generic message read the profile comment on pictures that caught your eye and remember the worse thing that can happen is nothing shoot your shot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mate, in all likelihood they will just breeze past your message and it won't even register. Just go for it. You're here now so get stuck in!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

What has the length of time anyone has been on here got to do with anything? Last time I looked there wasn't a best before date on any profile.

If someone is having a crisis of confidence regardless of previous interaction they need to be encouraged rather than told they are a time waster.

Many people are on this site threading water and taking what they need from it at their own pace.

Similar to all the threads about age equalling experience.

Just because someone has reached a certain point in their lives doesn't necessarily mean they have the same experience or self belief as others their age.

Hopefully since this thread started the OP has resumed messaging and is finding his feet again.

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By *hunkymonkey81Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Just be yourself let others judge

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"What has the length of time anyone has been on here got to do with anything? Last time I looked there wasn't a best before date on any profile.

If someone is having a crisis of confidence regardless of previous interaction they need to be encouraged rather than told they are a time waster.

Many people are on this site threading water and taking what they need from it at their own pace.

Similar to all the threads about age equalling experience.

Just because someone has reached a certain point in their lives doesn't necessarily mean they have the same experience or self belief as others their age.

Hopefully since this thread started the OP has resumed messaging and is finding his feet again.

"

Thanks mate, yes I have started messaging again and speaking to people so my confidence is slowly returning.

In answer to the others, I stopped messaging purely because of confidence plus situation outside of here.

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By *agerMorgan OP   Man
over a year ago

Canvey Island


"Just do it confidence is one of the sexiest things you can have just don't send a generic message read the profile comment on pictures that caught your eye and remember the worse thing that can happen is nothing shoot your shot "

Thank you for your advice, yea that’s what I’m doing first and finding little quirks to open with. Though I am slowly building my confidence back up again & had a few responses already.

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By *orkswatcherMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I see where you are coming from, it's not the the actually messaging that's an issue for me it's what I put in it.

I never know how to get started

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

We (men) are a dime a dozen on this site and texts get lost in the ether and a lot of that is not personal just admin so if you are just looking to either chat or looking for potential partners just get on the forums more so and the games they post .. fancy and photo challenges and then attend a club , just do it ..

we all started somewhere so just get on with it and don’t hold back my friend

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

You've had 2 meets, so messaging someone should be a doddle.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Stop worrying about rejection. It is going to happen.

Are you men scared of speaking to a woman in person too?

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