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"Advice please. We are a professional couple looking for occasional fun with a unicorn, love the idea of spoiling someone every now and again. Or a fun couple. But due to our work we need to be discreet, we will share face pics once we have spoken for a while and built some trust. But everything we message someone, they immediately ask for face pic, once we explain we can't, they call us fake and block us. Which makes no sense as if we were fake we could send any random picture. Are we wasting our time on here, any advice gratefully received. T&K XXX" You are completely entitled to use fab any way you please. But as a couple who dont hide their faces, we wouldnt entertain talking to people who dont want to show us theirs very early on. The argument of "building up trust" holds no water any more than you argue you could send a fake pic. You're talking to complete strangers over the internet. They're either telling the truth or they are not. The reality of the situation is, it's all based on initial attraction. Most people on the site have better things to do than play message ping pong with people just to find put what you look like. How long does it take for that trust to be there for you? They dont know so why spend hours or even days talking to you just to finally get a photo and realize they're not into you? Some people just dont want to invest that sort of time into something that important. Do.they fancy you, yes or no? After that it's how you gel with personalities. You can be the most wonderful couple in the world but if they dont find you attractive, they are not going to meet. Simple. | |||
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"Don't send face pictures until you're good and ready. You could offer to cam briefly (although that can be recorded) or meet for a quick coffee to verify what you look like. Don't feel obliged to do anything you don't want to" Good advice | |||
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"Some of the best sex I've had is with people who weren't at the front of the looks queue. And some of the worst is with people who were. I'm no Adonis, so I don't expect everyone to be an Aphrodite " nailed it! | |||
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"In our opinion you may do a little better if you got rid of the that self proclaimed professional nonsense. Swinging isn't a profession and we tend to avoid when we come across it." Thank you - done | |||
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"OP I would urge you to consider these references to how " busy you are" . Some would take this to mean " We are to busy to respond to correspondence and will often have to cancel arranged meets or find it hard to find time to meet in the first place " .. Neither of which will endear you to people on Fab I suggest. Everyone has busy lives . " Thank you- done. | |||
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"You could always move the face ic to something like Snapchat, just take a normal snap that you would to anyone. That way there's nothing linking you to the lifestyle. It's just a harmless Snapchat pic sent " Face pic** | |||
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" You are completely entitled to use fab any way you please. But as a couple who dont hide their faces, we wouldnt entertain talking to people who dont want to show us theirs very early on. The argument of "building up trust" holds no water any more than you argue you could send a fake pic. You're talking to complete strangers over the internet. They're either telling the truth or they are not. The reality of the situation is, it's all based on initial attraction. Most people on the site have better things to do than play message ping pong with people just to find put what you look like. How long does it take for that trust to be there for you? They dont know so why spend hours or even days talking to you just to finally get a photo and realize they're not into you? Some people just dont want to invest that sort of time into something that important. Do.they fancy you, yes or no? After that it's how you gel with personalities. You can be the most wonderful couple in the world but if they dont find you attractive, they are not going to meet. Simple. " 100% this ... spot on... does worry me when guys say the pic dont matter seem like its back to those who dont care who they are fucking as long as there dick is wet ... total turn off.. so op id suggest what others have said clubs and social where your in person rather than just a pic... | |||
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"Personally I don’t see someone asking for a face pic if you’ve messaged them first is an unreasonable request as people like to be able to put a face to body parts (well I know I do anyway). You can always delete the photos from the message once you’ve seen they’ve read it. Understand the need for discretion due to work but at the same time this isn’t blind date. How do you know if you’re attracted to someone without seeing their face? " Once you send a face image it can be copied and used in any way the recipient sees fit within seconds and you can't prevent that. We've been on the receiving end of this and learned that lesson a long time ago. We never play on a first meeting so always leave the face thing for our social meetings after we've chatted and got to know the guy a bit. That process has never let us down and we won't change it for anyone. | |||
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"Some people do have jobs which would be terminated should their picture be leaked out and linked with an account on here. If the site is hacked and a 50 yr old head mistress had asked for a 22 yr old to come and fuck her then that job is over and social life in tatters. Remember that any photo you send is permanently on line. All apps can be screenshot and your privacy compromised. It's a matter of choice but you have to live with the consequences either way." Correct. The number of people who don't seem to appreciate this is staggering and there are lots of picture collectors around. | |||
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"Some people do have jobs which would be terminated should their picture be leaked out and linked with an account on here. If the site is hacked and a 50 yr old head mistress had asked for a 22 yr old to come and fuck her then that job is over and social life in tatters. Remember that any photo you send is permanently on line. All apps can be screenshot and your privacy compromised. It's a matter of choice but you have to live with the consequences either way. Correct. The number of people who don't seem to appreciate this is staggering and there are lots of picture collectors around. " Agreed. | |||
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"In all honesty I am someone who asks for and sends face pics straight away. I'm on here to have fun with people I find attractive, and there is nothing more gutting for me than getting one well with someone, then finding out I'm just not attracted to them " Yes, much better to find out sooner than later. | |||
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"Apologies if this has been suggested above (too many to read each and every one) But how about going to a club one night. No pictures required. Or suggest meeting at a club because your discression requires no pictures. That way the other couple isn't being led on by a fake profile and if you don't feel the spark when you meet. Then no problems. Your all in a club." This is what we do, we go to a club if anyone has us on their hotlist then our meet at club will show up on their updates and they can decide whether they want a night out or not. If you are going to send face pics I would recommend sending a pic in which you don't use the same background and clothing as you do on your ruder/sex pics. This way if they are pic collectors or worse people who wish to out or blackm@il others you can simply brush it of as someone who has took a picture from your online social media and associated it with another person's naked pics. | |||
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"I know exactly what you mean about sending pics. If any pictures can be uploaded to the profile what is there to say it is not of someone else. Only way around it is via Skype or similar and lots don't want to do that either. Still can copy images and post them so no discretion - suggestions?" If you must see someone's face the only way to be sure is via video link. We only meet guys we like enough to do so based on their personality over the period we've chatted and got to know them. We then meet them socially and at that point see eachother's faces but by that time we're obviously already attracted by their personality so their face is secondary. In the event that either party is put off from wanting anything physical, well there's no expectation of that happening anyway at a social only meeting so you just enjoy your evening and part as friends who won't play. Where's the loss in that unless the main aim is to have sex with someone you've never met the first time you see them and you're basing everything on a few chats and pics exchanged? Horses for courses. | |||
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"But due to our work we need to be discreet, we will share face pics once we have spoken for a while and built some trust. " Why is your job or need for discretion any more important than the people you’re talking with? There is huge amount of trust required for everyone. We almost always send a face photo with our first message, or very shortly after. While there is more to attraction for us than just a face, we understand that not everyone thinks the same way. It saves wasting everyone’s time. "But everything we message someone, they immediately ask for face pic, once we explain we can't, they call us fake and block us. " If we asked for a face photo and it was declined, we would most likely stop there and then, unless an alternative was offered, such as a video call. I’m not saying you or anyone else who acts as you do is a fake, but this isn’t blind date. "Are we wasting our time on here, any advice gratefully received. " I would say you’re wasting your time, but you are certainly going to have to work harder and accept that your opportunities to meet are greatly reduced. Advice? Learn to trust more, do your due diligence, or… go to clubs. | |||
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" If you are going to send face pics I would recommend sending a pic in which you don't use the same background and clothing as you do on your ruder/sex pics. This way if they are pic collectors or worse people who wish to out or blackm@il others you can simply brush it of as someone who has took a picture from your online social media and associated it with another person's naked pics. " Yes, faces or other identifying features shown on graphic images are a very bad idea and they could turn up anywhere at any time. | |||
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"A social or a club are probably your best bet." This | |||
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"In our opinion you may do a little better if you got rid of the that self proclaimed professional nonsense. Swinging isn't a profession and we tend to avoid when we come across it." Lmao Professionals mingling with us commoners | |||
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"In all honesty I am someone who asks for and sends face pics straight away. I'm on here to have fun with people I find attractive, and there is nothing more gutting for me than getting one well with someone, then finding out I'm just not attracted to them " This for us | |||
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"In our opinion you may do a little better if you got rid of the that self proclaimed professional nonsense. Swinging isn't a profession and we tend to avoid when we come across it. Lmao Professionals mingling with us commoners " Always makes me giggle as well | |||
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"Advice please. We are a professional couple looking for occasional fun with a unicorn, love the idea of spoiling someone every now and again. Or a fun couple. But due to our work we need to be discreet, we will share face pics once we have spoken for a while and built some trust. But everything we message someone, they immediately ask for face pic, once we explain we can't, they call us fake and block us. Which makes no sense as if we were fake we could send any random picture. Are we wasting our time on here, any advice gratefully received. T&K XXX" Sorry to chip in here and this is just a knee-jerk suggestion which may be flawed so feel free to ignore it – why not set up a Flickr account with normal pictures of you clothed so that people can see your faces. So then you send a link to that in any messages. If anyone from your “every day” world were to spot the pictures somewhere then there is nothing wrong with that as plenty of people have pics on Flickr . If your everyday world and your fab world collide somehow, then you could just claim that your perfectly normal picture had been hacked and used by someone else . I hope that makes sense as I’m not sure I have explained it very well and no doubt there is a flaw in that suggestion but there it is | |||
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"In our opinion you may do a little better if you got rid of the that self proclaimed professional nonsense. Swinging isn't a profession and we tend to avoid when we come across it. Lmao Professionals mingling with us commoners " Good point, well made, cringy, thing we might start writing The Idiots Guide to Swinging made a few gaffs on here. | |||
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"I am the same bcos of my profession (teacher)I need to get to know some1 1st before face pic and some ppl just don't want to know but I do send them once trust is built " Most people have jobs though… why would I (or anyone) want to get to know someone when they might not be attracted too them? Don’t see the point at all lol. ( Of course only to genuine and verified profiles ) | |||
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" why not set up a Flickr account with normal pictures of you clothed so that people can see your faces. So then you send a link to that in any messages. If anyone from your “every day” world were to spot the pictures somewhere then there is nothing wrong with that as plenty of people have pics on Flickr . If your everyday world and your fab world collide somehow, then you could just claim that your perfectly normal picture had been hacked and used by someone else . I hope that makes sense as I’m not sure I have explained it very well and no doubt there is a flaw in that suggestion but there it is" This and the advice about making sure naughty & safe pictures don’t share the same background sounds like an ideal solution. Stag | |||
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"Good point, well made, cringy, thing we might start writing The Idiots Guide to Swinging made a few gaffs on here. " It's already been written, it's under "Search" in the forum | |||
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"I am the same bcos of my profession (teacher)I need to get to know some1 1st before face pic and some ppl just don't want to know but I do send them once trust is built Most people have jobs though… why would I (or anyone) want to get to know someone when they might not be attracted too them? Don’t see the point at all lol. ( Of course only to genuine and verified profiles ) " | |||
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