FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

What drives time wasters

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do a search on the forums as this subject comes up all the time so your answer will be there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for reply. Just thought I'd raise the issue again and maybe make these and others like them realise that they don't need to be so rude. A polite. Sorry decided not to come is much more sensible course of action if they want to have more fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for reply. Just thought I'd raise the issue again and maybe make these and others like them realise that they don't need to be so rude. A polite. Sorry decided not to come is much more sensible course of action if they want to have more fun."

Unfortunately they don't take any notice, also what is timewasting to some is not to others; I have been called one because I was spending a Sunday with my kids and the guy I was exchanging texts with I guess expected me to drop everything for him as he was horny, instant block

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igpole69Man
over a year ago

West Felton

That works both ways

Have had several couples pull out at the so called last minute do to unforeseen circumstances

Have always made sure I'm work free if I'm meeting a genuine couple and have never cancelled yet

Frustrated by all those who get a kick out of it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For couples with children sometimes cancelling at the last minute can't be helped, however if they let you know then you just have to accept it. What the OP is saying is some people don't show up and don't actually bother letting you know they're not going to either.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Friday and Saturday nights are top time waster evenings. They have a couple of beers, start to feel a little frisky, contact someone from here and have a bit of risque chat, do the old five finger shuffle and that's job done as far as they're concerned.

We have grown to actually expect it now lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have found that a lot of time waters simply bottle it. They don't intend to waste your time, but when it comes down to it, they panic and realise they can't go through with it. Rather than try and explain why, they go quiet to try and save face.

Others are simply thrill seekers who get off on the excitement of the build up and don't intend to met.

It is frustrating, but you just need to put it to the back of your mind and enjoy the good meets!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Thanks for reply. Just thought I'd raise the issue again and maybe make these and others like them realise that they don't need to be so rude. A polite. Sorry decided not to come is much more sensible course of action if they want to have more fun."

I'm afraid most of them don't read the forums and probably don't even care. They behave appalingly by not letting you know they've changed their mind, but the best thing to do is to report them as no shows. If they do it often then they may just get booted off the site. It always makes me feel better when that happens.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the support. Yeah we have reported them as no shows so hopefully they will get their just deserts.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes what I can see exactly what you are saying there. You obviously politely told him you were busy that day. That is exactly what we would do. Things always crop up don't they. We've been in situation where wrong time of month has arrived at just the wrong moment but again, it's painful but you let people know. That isn't time wasting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For couples with children sometimes cancelling at the last minute can't be helped, however if they let you know then you just have to accept it. What the OP is saying is some people don't show up and don't actually bother letting you know they're not going to either. "

Yes been there too, stood freezing my tits off outside a pub for nothing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for that. Good advice there regarding trying to forget about them and yes we generally do. Just sometimes one likes to have a good old moan LOL. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not."
:-

God , just had a peek at your pics;| I'd be camped on your front garden given half a chance, these guys just bottle it and then are too embarrassed to admit it. Hence they ignore your calls and emails.

I still get nervous before a meet with a new couple, even now. But as on my first ever meet I thought..... aaagggghhhhhhh if I don't I'll regret it, so I jumped in at the deepend as it were and knocked on that scary door. Had an amazing time ever since.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"For couples with children sometimes cancelling at the last minute can't be helped, however if they let you know then you just have to accept it. What the OP is saying is some people don't show up and don't actually bother letting you know they're not going to either.

Yes been there too, stood freezing my tits off outside a pub for nothing "

I make sure I'm inside the pub. Then I am not freezing my tits off and I have a beer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hopefully we always treat people like we would like to be treated ourselves hope you don't get as much frustration as we had last night too often.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to cancel a social meet on Thursday. I let the other party know as soon as I could and I honestly tried every option to be able to go but had no choice in the end. I feel awful about it.

I don't know how anyone could intentionally mess others about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Friday and Saturday nights are top time waster evenings. They have a couple of beers, start to feel a little frisky, contact someone from here and have a bit of risque chat, do the old five finger shuffle and that's job done as far as they're concerned.

We have grown to actually expect it now lol"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

This is why last minute what time can you get here arrangments are something I would never entertain

It seems the thrill vs the actual getting of your arse to go meet someone does'nt quite work

Hope you have better luck time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had 4 couples do this over 2 days. I really do think its time for a scoring system. Record ip addresses so people cant just delete account and start again. I have wasted 8 hours and 100 quid in fuel. Not happy, thing is, they will probably do it again to someone else and I have no way of informing them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants


"For couples with children sometimes cancelling at the last minute can't be helped, however if they let you know then you just have to accept it. What the OP is saying is some people don't show up and don't actually bother letting you know they're not going to either.

Yes been there too, stood freezing my tits off outside a pub for nothing "

Oh Kinky! Next time give me a shout! I'll help warm them up! Lok!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We stick to inviting them to the local club, if they don't show up...oh well plenty more people in the club to keep us busy, if they do we know they'll show when we offer to meet in private, also puts them at ease so they don't feel they have to do anything they don't want.

I don't think verifications should be hide-able?(is that a word?) that way if someone doesn't show and doesn't let you know you can leave it on thier profile, saying that some people might do it just to be spiteful and i don't think admin have time to chase up everyone that has a disagreement over it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants

As a single guy, I hate letting anyone down, and have never cancelled a meet without a VERY good reason. And always give the other person as much notice as possible.

The only time I couldn't, they wouldn't give me a phone number or email address, and the only way I could message them was on Fab - I got accused of wasting their time, even though they didn't check their fab messages for a day after the meet was supposed to have taken place!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion of a timewaster is someone who you've arranged to meet at a time and a place but no they aint turned up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not."

Don;t take this the wrong way but the only common denominator in this is you. You probably need to take a serious look at what you are doing wrong...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not.

Don;t take this the wrong way but the only common denominator in this is you. You probably need to take a serious look at what you are doing wrong..."

yeah wanting guys to turn up and fuck you!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you experience loads of time wasters you seriously need to look at the way you are selecting meets...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone mentioned above, going to a swinger's club is probably the best course of action, as you're guaranteed to meet people who are active swingers/players.

Signing up to a partially free site like this proves nothing. There's a lot of attached people secretly using these sites behind their partners backs, who will never actually meet anyone, it's just a wank aid.

Anyone in a swingers club is the real deal, most will have a fab account, and, being swingers, most wont mind recommending/introducing you to other swingers if you're a decent person.

Using these sites alone is tough, the majority of people on them are fantasists. Saying that though ive never had my time wasted yet, or wasted anyone elses. I dont know if thats luck or if im a natural bullshit detector.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish


"

Using these sites alone is tough, the majority of people on them are fantasists. Saying that though ive never had my time wasted yet, or wasted anyone elses. I dont know if thats luck or if im a natural bullshit detector."

Really, you've never had your time wasted? Blimey i've had three couple no shows this year!

But that's par for the course...... forget and move on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WE went to a HUGE amount of trouble and expense on saturday around the Manchester social. Bought a lot of booze to make cocktails, spend 2 days shopping and preparing a huge Turkish Meze dinner for our guests and.........

One couple never turned up, no call, no text, no message despite logging on here before and after the event. All those great people that did turn up now know who they are Another couple due to illness cancelled when the party started, that is completely ok with us and things do happen, no problems with that. Gutted at the amount of waste food I had to bin, next time its turkey twizzlers and smilie face potatoes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've got fed up with time wasters as Well! Going to a lot of trouble and expense for no shows is irksome! The last one did let us know a few hours in advance and we messaged back suggesting we re make the date! Despite the fact they were logged in at the time we were supposed to meet and quite a few times after the message went unread! Our answer is removal from friends list (no pic perving) and blocked! So even if they're genuine their inconsiderate behaviour cost them a chance of meeting us!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate them, you move plans even work...the chat is hot and horny, your pics are fab'd....you get to the place in time and wait and wait and wait..............and wait......grrrrrr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the reply. Yep agree completely with your thought. Even a last minute text to say. Sorry not coming is better than just leaving people to hang around waiting. We had to do that once too and yes it's embarassing but the text we got back thanked us for letting them know and perfectly understood the reason.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohn and ChristineCouple
over a year ago

.this town

Someone once said to us that timewasters come with the territory on this site. It shouldn't be that way but unfortunately it is.

We had a guy who sent a message a few days back saying I was a knobhead - all because we said no thanks When we tried writing back to him, he had blocked us! Unreal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not."

I just had a peek at your photo's too, I would be in the other tent

Its part and parcel on here we all get them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Charming. The only knob head is him. He probably walks around with his head up his arse too LOL.

x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been graced by these timewasters from other sites. However I think the verification use on this site is a really good way of identifying timewasters. However some people do not show their verifications, some are just by telephone or webcam.

Whats more interesting is when someone who is verified by meeting in person, arranges a meet and then doesnt turn up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not."

Sorry to read you have been let down,and that once again it was a single bloke! No wonder meets are hard to come by for the genuine ones! I can say if I ever arrange a meet I always turn up,and if for some unknown reason I can't I always let the person know asap!

There are some genuine single ones out there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elrose57Couple
over a year ago

reading

yes there are time wasters on here, there is not a lot you can do about them , we have been stood up by them, but there are some fantastic people on here, and we have meet them, and look forward to meeting more of the good guys,, as for the wasters, and they know who they are, look in the mirror and ask yourself are you happy being a total TOOL ,, good luck to the real people in here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God I wish I could find someone to at least reply to my messages lol!!! let alone meet up haha!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Food, water, and sunlight like everybody else, I would of thought!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Once drove 70 miles to meet a lady having messaged her as I left she replied she was looking forward to it-no show!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not."

persons who have a furtive imagination and a sense of insecurity that leaves them in a total brain malfunction...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we ad are fair share of couples letting us down at the last minute seems they just like to chat and never meet up we just move on delete them and find genuine couples that do want fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suspect a number of reasons:

Fantastists - some will enjoy the idea of meeting up and the act of planning it out will only add spice to their little fantasy but that's all it is!

Not who they claim to be - much older(or younger), less attractive or in some cases, not even the stated sex! Again, they get off pretending to be something they're not.

Socially awkward - the internet by it's very definition is a hive for those who struggle to interact in real life situations (think of that ridiculous site called Second life etc!). Here is certainly no exception meaning that some on here are incapable of meeting in real life and prefer to only communicate via a computer!

Bottlers - this ties in with the above points and that is to say that when meeting a stranger or strangers for sex is too much for some people. It does take a particular type of person (and confidence) to meet up in particular with couples and indulge in intimate physical acts!

However, it is almost always fairly easy to detect the time-wasters on here!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I think I'm very lucky to be able to say that I've only ever been let down seriously once. Maybe you kinda get a knack for the picking the genuine ones from the others after a while. I hope I just haven't spoken too soon!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can normally tell time wasters when u ask them if they have cam and they say, just bought a new laptop and cam is not set up yet, but if you send me a few dirty pics I'll send u some back lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/12 22:58:06]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"You can normally tell time wasters when u ask them if they have cam and they say, just bought a new laptop and cam is not set up yet, but if you send me a few dirty pics I'll send u some back lol "

I don't have a cam. Thats because I don't want to cam with people. Yet I know I always turn up for meets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I don't cam either,I bought a new pc without a cam much to the annoyance of some of my friends

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can normally tell time wasters when u ask them if they have cam and they say, just bought a new laptop and cam is not set up yet, but if you send me a few dirty pics I'll send u some back lol

I don't have a cam. Thats because I don't want to cam with people. Yet I know I always turn up for meets. "

Single males don't have the choice. It's a neccessity for us lol. The fakes spoil it for the genuine people!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Single males don't have the choice. It's a neccessity for us lol. The fakes spoil it for the genuine people!!"

Nope, I can definitely say I've never made anyone cam me to prove something. No point anyway - I don't have a cam.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Single males don't have the choice. It's a neccessity for us lol. The fakes spoil it for the genuine people!!

Nope, I can definitely say I've never made anyone cam me to prove something. No point anyway - I don't have a cam. "

We've got a cam, it lives in a drawer.

Never needed one yet to get a good meet with

Wolf

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Single males don't have the choice. It's a neccessity for us lol. The fakes spoil it for the genuine people!!

Nope, I can definitely say I've never made anyone cam me to prove something. No point anyway - I don't have a cam.

We've got a cam, it lives in a drawer.

Never needed one yet to get a good meet with

Wolf

"

Indeed. Cams don't help people turn up. You can ring, cam, and text to your hearts content, but unless that person wants to turn up, they won't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought that was the done thing. Interesting........ Must b just me then. Might change my tactics. Must b where I'm going wrong ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never cammed on here once and have successfully met some lovely people from this site.

I have also never had my time wasted as of yet simply because I read the signatures of time-wasters!


"You can normally tell time wasters when u ask them if they have cam and they say, just bought a new laptop and cam is not set up yet, but if you send me a few dirty pics I'll send u some back lol

I don't have a cam. Thats because I don't want to cam with people. Yet I know I always turn up for meets.

Single males don't have the choice. It's a neccessity for us lol. The fakes spoil it for the genuine people!!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for reply. Just thought I'd raise the issue again and maybe make these and others like them realise that they don't need to be so rude. A polite. Sorry decided not to come is much more sensible course of action if they want to have more fun."

Unfortunately that's not what happens, these people make arrangements I'm sure without ever having any intention of going ahead with the meet . Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a couple of meets arranged for the last 2 days as i knew i was going to be free to meet exchanged numbers etc did the dirty chat messages through here then 3 days ago the kids go to a party and end up being sick then passing it onto me and hubby.

Contacted 1 guy to say that i couldnt make it he was great knew things like that happen the other guy who wanted to meet just sent a message saying i was a timewaster and blocked me 2 guys 2 differents ways of dealing with the same situation

I know which 1 i will be meeting when im feeling better xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uxtapositionMan
over a year ago

CARDIFF


"I suspect a number of reasons:

Fantastists - some will enjoy the idea of meeting up and the act of planning it out will only add spice to their little fantasy but that's all it is!

Not who they claim to be - much older(or younger), less attractive or in some cases, not even the stated sex! Again, they get off pretending to be something they're not.

Socially awkward - the internet by it's very definition is a hive for those who struggle to interact in real life situations (think of that ridiculous site called Second life etc!). Here is certainly no exception meaning that some on here are incapable of meeting in real life and prefer to only communicate via a computer!

Bottlers - this ties in with the above points and that is to say that when meeting a stranger or strangers for sex is too much for some people. It does take a particular type of person (and confidence) to meet up in particular with couples and indulge in intimate physical acts!

However, it is almost always fairly easy to detect the time-wasters on here! "

I believe you have just summed things up perfectly, my compliments

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners and respect.......thats all it is and some arnt raised with them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the million dollar question - along with 'why create a fake profile?'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We should be able to name and shame these people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We should be able to name and shame these people "

Create a friends network to warn of suspect time wasters and fakes! PM everyone on your friends list about them, a pyramid reaction! One person messages two, they message 2 and so on! If everyone was aware of them then the chances of the wasters causing havoc would be reduced somewhat!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

me personaly have ever been late for one meet

i had a car crash and broke a leg i rang the couple as we had been speaking on line for very long time and tried to explain the problem away

they thought i was bull shitting and they came to the hospital we clicked straight away i got plastered up and left with them and stayed at there house for a week

wow what a week that was

so the moral of this is treat every situation different we all have commitments and we never know whats around the corner

if you dont like move on or block or take meeeeeee home

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had a brace of timewasters last night. Single blokes that say see you in 1/2 an hour or whatever and then don't turn up. Don't have guts to reply to your texts and emails. What kind of person is like that. We always have courtesy to let people know we've decided not to take things further. Alright it sometimes hurts to do that but surely it's better to do that rather than just leave people hanging around wondering if you are stringing them along or not."

I recently had 6 no shows in 2 weeks...then had 2 rather lovely meets. Can usually tell when theyre not going to show up since they go quiet an hour or 2 beforehand, i try not to let it get to me, sadly you get timewasters on any site like this...they do like to play over the pics or get cold feet. Its hard not to tar all single males with the same brush, but i try not to!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top