FabSwingers.com forum: Wanting a video call to verify

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

No.

Assuming it's just to see that they are a couple.

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By *onochrome2Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "

I wouldn’t say that’s unreasonable, we would do the same. Just a quick “hi I’m not a catfish or fake” brief call.

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By *alsaGuy77Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

I say not unreasonable to ask, however they may have been reluctant to give out their phone number for a WhatsApp call if that is what you were suggesting. That said, they could have just explained and not blocked you. Certainly I'd want some proof from anyone without verifications on their page as there are too many fake 'couples' on here.

Sounds like you may have spooked a catfish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No.

Assuming it's just to see that they are a couple.

Yeah it was just to make sure it wasn't a catfish sorta of thing. Thanks

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Not unreasonable but they don't have to comply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn’t say that’s unreasonable, we would do the same. Just a quick “hi I’m not a catfish or fake” brief call."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I say not unreasonable to ask, however they may have been reluctant to give out their phone number for a WhatsApp call if that is what you were suggesting. That said, they could have just explained and not blocked you. Certainly I'd want some proof from anyone without verifications on their page as there are too many fake 'couples' on here.

Sounds like you may have spooked a catfish."

Yeah I completely get that as I won't hand out my mobile number on here and wouldn't expect anyone else too not when you add a quick picture or use a throwaway snapchat account. Cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not unreasonable. It can help as part of the selection process. The fact that they blocked means either you were right to be cautious or they just didn't want to do things the same way. Either way it's no problem and in to the next. For me very few chats on here convert to actual meets for various reasons. That's normal I think.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 29/08/21 09:26:11]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You wanted something they weren't prepared to give. As a single man I think you're right to take any measures you feel you should to feel safe, as a couple I think they were right not to do something they didn't want to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

^^ they could just have said they didn't want to though

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Entirely sensible. You could well have dodged the bullet of a fake couple - the sort run either by a single guy or someone married but whose wife isn't interested and probably doesn't even know her pictures are being used. Some folks seem to derive pleasure from wasting other people's time, even as far as arranging meetings which they have no intention of turning up to.

As for phone number privacy. Phones are cheap, disposable PAYG SIMs readily available. Why anyone would use their own private number for this purpose is baffling. We chose not to show our faces in this connection but are quite happy to show we're a real couple by appearing on camera together. If we were looking to meet couples, we'd expect the same or just walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something that I do with all new people . It’s stated on my profile and I drop it into conversation quote early on. There’s a number of people who get defensive about it and so it stops any further conversations quickly. It’s something I’ve done for a long time, especially with the amount of fake profiles on here - which I personally feel is getting worse.

Also there’s different apps which you can video call on without the need of giving your number out if you don’t feel comfortable.

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Nah you should have offered to pay for the hotel room, turned up on a blind date and travelled at leat 150 miles for the privilege.

Where the sense of adventure these day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not unreasonable to ask but not unreasonable for them not to want to, either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not unreasonable to ask, but it's also not unreasonable for them to refuse.

I never video chat, ever. Just won't do it.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I never video chat but I will chat on the phone

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

They obviously weren't a couple.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We can understand how women/couples particularly might be reluctant to appear on camera or give their phone number to a stranger but that's where the Fab chatroom comes in. It's easy to go on camera for a few minutes just to show you're a couple. You can pick a room which is virtually empty and there's no need to show faces in order to do that so there's no risk of being identified. In the place of any single guy chatting to a couple here, that's what we'd do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not unreasonable,but then,presuming they were who they said they were,it's not unreasonable for them to not want to.

We all have choices.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

He'd finished his wank and didn't need you any more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We can understand how women/couples particularly might be reluctant to appear on camera or give their phone number to a stranger but that's where the Fab chatroom comes in. It's easy to go on camera for a few minutes just to show you're a couple. You can pick a room which is virtually empty and there's no need to show faces in order to do that so there's no risk of being identified. In the place of any single guy chatting to a couple here, that's what we'd do. "
that’s a great idea i’ll try to remember it for the next time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?"

They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?

They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat "

Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We would always have a social before any play meet, we wouldn't have any interest in video chats.

Cal

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Definitely not unreasonable. If I’m chatting to someone unverified and things are looking to go further then I much prefer to have a social meet first… but if a bit of distance is involved then either talk on the phone (hidden numbers are fine, video chat (many ways to do this anonymously) or swap live pics on kik.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not unreasonable at all.

Take precaution. I actually have a seperate WhatsApp and now I'm starting to use telegram which is great as you can add by number or username. Much safer. Too many untrustworthy ppl. Never give out any private information on the internet like that.

The fact they blocked you immediately seems dodgy.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I mean to me that sounds like you called them out... Anyone who has been on Fab any length of time realises veris are important. If a profile is unverified then of course its not unreasonable to request some kind of pic or video to prove you are who you say you are before meeting.

Of course some people don't like video calls for whatever reason and of course that is absolutely fine. They can be somewhat anxiety-provoking especially for people that don't tend to use them in day-to-day life. But in that case the person or people in question should at least be able to produce a photo of themselves holding a bit of paper with today's date or a code word or something on it to prove they're not a catfish or a scammer.

Even as a man, theoretically at less risk from online 'predators' than women I like to be sure I'm meeting with someone legit before I spend time and money going to see someone. One could easily end up going to what one thinks is a casual sex meet but end up getting assaulted, robbed or worse.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Not unreasonable at all , but double standard me hates videoing , I look absolutely dreadful and don’t even FaceTime family and friends

So I’d probably be reluctant if asked …

This said I think you had a lucky escape , not sure why they’d block you if they were genuine, in my opinion they could have explained their reservation and perhaps you could have settled for a phone call with all parties concerned to establish that they are a couple .

I personally wouldn’t meet without exchanging phone numbers anyway .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?

They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat

Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?

I did give ‘’them’’ several options kik was one of them

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

We’d never do a video call as we don’t give out our numbers.

So we’d just arrange a social drink and verify that way.

However it’s their choice and they don’t have to justify any reasons unfortunately.

Chalk up to experience and move on I’m afraid.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone that has responded and for the suggestions. I completely understand that this topic can be a dividing one and is down too what each party is comfortable with.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I don't do 'wank videos' so if a bloke asked me to cam with him I would say no and end the conversation right there.

Maybe they felt the op just wanted vid/cam and they are looking for in person meets, who knows.

Block is the universal "end convo" so just find people that are looking for what you are.

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By *ack-FMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

You are so right to ask …I once agreed to meet a couple who weren’t verified…they gave me an address and when I rang the doorbell a man with 2 kids at his heels answered the door… if onlyI could have found the person who set me up ….they would have been meeting their maker that day….

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

You can do a call and withhold your number. Seems as if you’ve given them options and they weren’t keen. Probably a single guy.

I use kik so I don’t need to give out my number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't do 'wank videos' so if a bloke asked me to cam with him I would say no and end the conversation right there.

Maybe they felt the op just wanted vid/cam and they are looking for in person meets, who knows.

Block is the universal "end convo" so just find people that are looking for what you are."

This for all they knew OP you might be one of the wanking dead.

Who try to get couples to to watch them wanking on cam.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

If anything it's not unreasonable but are ways around then video getting them to do something with their hands in a photo and sent via a message

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

We don’t like giving out either of our numbers. But we would say that to you so you had the choice to say thanks but no thanks or take a chance. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just carry on as you are and ask for a call if and when you feel it’s necessary

Mrs J

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?

They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat

Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?

If you have modified kik it's not a live picture either so also could not be the person

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I won't give out my number but will video call on snap to prove who I am.

I prefer to video call for my safety when meeting someone new

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have learnt our lesson from being tricked in the past, so now very soon into messaging (if it seems to be going in the direction of a possible meet) we ask for a phone call on speaker at the very least. Then if that goes well, we will suggest a Skype or WhatsApp video call. Basically to reassure them as well as us. Totally understand if they don't really want to do that immediately but it's a definite must, prior to making any further plans etc. Yes.. Often it stops the communication at that point which is OK as we then know not to waste any more time. But the really irritating thing is when they come up with one convincing reason after another which eventually makes us sceptical of everyone. I suppose they either get cold feet or more likely putting off being rumbled for as long as possible. Grrr

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

The "unreasonable aspect" may have come about by your use of the term " know who to expect " if this was interpreted as "what to expect". It is possible to come across as someone who is just to much hard work. What I am saying is your request has to be seen in context with the other conversations you were having.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not unreasonable at all.

The fact they blocked you immediately seems dodgy."

Quote- "The fact they blocked you immediately seems dodgy"

^^^^^^^ I agree totally... No need to block. They could have explained they don't cam. They do seem "dodgy" as in could be fake. I too experience strange behaviour if I ask for a live Kik pic. Some just refuse point blank to send one. That to me is alarm bells.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call me a cynic but FAKES !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't do video calls...not my scene..so I would politely decline any such request.

Also I would have to put my make up on and do my hair or I would look like a camels arse....

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By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

"You wanted something they weren't prepared to give. As a single man I think you're right to take any measures you feel you should to feel safe, as a couple I think they were right not to do something they didn't want to. "

If they were a couple?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People have different preferences. Most people are not compatible with most other people. When people find you're not compatible, they block you and chat stops. This is the Fab system and in site FAQs.

That's if they were genuine etc

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

No quite understandable, if you both agree on a meet its acceptable to have at least a phone call or video chat even better especially for the first meet. Will save a lot of time down the line.

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

You probably spooked a catfish.

Next time you suggest a video call give an alternative means for them to indicate they are genuine...

They could right the date or your username on a price of paper and send you the photo

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Personally I don't do video calls...not my scene..so I would politely decline any such request.

Also I would have to put my make up on and do my hair or I would look like a camels arse....

It's your prerogative of course but thing is that you don't need to show your face to show you're female and not a single guy posing as one.

We never show our faces here but certainly don't mind proving we're a real couple on camera. Out of fairness, we don't ask guys to show their faces either. That's partly what the social meetings are for. The root of the problem is ascertaining whether couples are genuine before engaging too much with them. We feel camming here is the best way to do that and there's no concern about sharing phone numbers. It's surprising how many 'couples' whose profiles are full of pics of the female (including their faces sometimes) are unwilling to even just show their clothed bodies on camera. To us this is a good sign of accounts in which the female (if there ever was one) is no longer actively involved but being used as bait.

Fortunately we're not interested in couples so it's not a big issue for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's in my profile that I don't meet without a video call

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just a hunch this so I can't say this with 100% certainty - but - being a veteran of Fab for many years now my semi-pro opinion is that you simply happened upon one of the entities that blight Fab commonly referred to as 'Timewasters'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?

They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat

Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?

We just found out a couple of days ago that live kik pics may not be what they seem. We would never trust that again

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

That's a perfectly fair request

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just a hunch this so I can't say this with 100% certainty - but - being a veteran of Fab for many years now my semi-pro opinion is that you simply happened upon one of the entities that blight Fab commonly referred to as 'Timewasters' "

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Probably a fake profile, pity you can't name and shame

Jackxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You probably spooked a catfish.

Next time you suggest a video call give an alternative means for them to indicate they are genuine...

They could right the date or your username on a price of paper and send you the photo"

^^^^^^^ This most def...You can request a certain pose or get them to right something unusual on a body part while taking a live Kik pic

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

This is why I insist on a social first.

We get a lot who aren't interested because of this.

Im not a fan of video chat myself.

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By *wales_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Interested to hear more of your experience with Kik live pic as this is our preferred method of verification. An in-app camera pic displays the word “camera” below it to show it was taken with the camera. How I this fake short of photographing a fake photo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interested to hear more of your experience with Kik live pic as this is our preferred method of verification. An in-app camera pic displays the word “camera” below it to show it was taken with the camera. How I this fake short of photographing a fake photo?"

There are apps out there where you can upload a photo (any photo) and it will display the 'camera' thing on it.

We weren't aware until our friends showed us a few days back. Google 'kik fake live pic' and you'll find it

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By *octordigitsMan
over a year ago

nearby

The app “wire “ is ideal - you can use it to speak or video call each other without disclosing phone numbers - phone numbers are dangerous as you can easily find other details which may not protect your anonimity

Looks like the op dodged a bullet

My wire is @ebh by the way - knocks spots off kik which is one dimensional

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

Modified kik says its been taken with a camera when I fact it isn't live

Alot of admins use it now in groups as it alerts you to someone posting a non live picture

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