FabSwingers.com forum: Sorry

By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

Okay okay I know that I could be banned but I just want to get this all out in the open, because I’m literally nearly about to lose my mind. Now I’ve been on fab for a few months now, and I feel like everyone is taking the piss out of me. Now I shall explain why. Sorry if I ramble on it’s because I’m just getting sick of being taken for a mug.

When I signed up for fab I wasn’t expecting much, a few messages here and there but not a lot to write home about. But when I created my account I kinda expected people to understand what i wanted, ( and I don’t mean sexually) I mean understand what my profile bio is saying, it’s like I’m reading your profile and understanding what you are saying and what you want why can’t you do the same for me. I will give an example of what I’m talking about. On my profile it says please don’t add me as a friend until we have met in real life, is that a good thing to do or say??

Because I still get friends requests from the same people who claim they have read my account and then say the same lame excuses oh I thought you would want to see pictures of us, (even though they have public pictures and have sent me their pictures). My second issue is why do couples ask for other social media apps?

Like why do they ask for Snapchat and kik and WhatsApp, especially when they have no intention of meeting?? Why why why??

It’s late so some of this probably won’t make any sense

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By *ueenieHWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I'm having same issues.

I've stated I don't add people unless I know them or have met and they still add me , ive put no cuckolding and still get guys trying to persuade me and I've stated I only do club meets after meeting a guy and he got aggressive and told me to get out of his house whilst I was getting dressed. And I still get guys moaning because I wont meet them outside of a club, so I just block them. Not much else that can be done unfortunately

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

Because you'll always get those who don't read profiles even when they say they do or they think that they are immune to your request for whatever reason suits them

As for messaging on other platforms it can just make it easier in some cases as the notification aspects of messages on here are nothing like they used to be

Try not to take any of it personally I know that can be easier said than done

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By *ateshugsMan
over a year ago

Isle of Man, (Crosby ish)

Not hard is it. - to respect others wishes.

As for the chat. It’s a very clunky system, that’s more like e-Mail, than a chat. I am guilty of getting away from here to have that “chat aspect” rather than that long drawn out conversation like it’s 1999!!

But, having said that: if other party says no to move, then it’s respected as their decision, and no more is said about it.

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

"I'm having same issues.

Oh my god that guy sounds awful, hope you are better now??

And yeah I think that’s what I’m going to have to do now. It’s good to know I’m not alone.

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

"Because you'll always get those who don't read profiles even when they say they do or they think that they are immune to your request for whatever reason suits them

As for messaging on other platforms it can just make it easier in some cases as the notification aspects of messages on here are nothing like they used to be

Try not to take any of it personally I know that can be easier said than done "

That’s the thing I know they have read “some” of my profile bio, because they always ask after they have complimented me twice and said something about my bio, and honestly I’m not taking it personally, but I know if I were to do the same thing I would be roasted.

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

"Because you'll always get those who don't read profiles even when they say they do or they think that they are immune to your request for whatever reason suits them

As for messaging on other platforms it can just make it easier in some cases as the notification aspects of messages on here are nothing like they used to be

Try not to take any of it personally I know that can be easier said than done

Sometimes I swear it's just a glance or skim read looking for certain key words but can miss context it's used in to make it look like they have, I get it a lot so you're not alone in that shame you can't turn off being friend invites and winks in the same way you can choose not to show in the who's viewed list

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Because the world is full of chancers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice OP.

Is tons of filters or hide your profile (which you've done) and look for yourself ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice OP.

Is tons of filters or hide your profile (which you've done) and look for yourself ....

What this ^ lady said. There's absolutely no point sending yourself into turmoil because of other people's behaviours. I'm no different to similar messages or addition of friend requests without any engagement. A bit of housekeeping +/- a quick message politely declining them then block or straight to block. We've got to toughen ourselves up slightly to deal with that unfortunately.

Hope things improve for you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst reading profiles on a sex site, we're often already a little distracted and take in only what grabs our attention.

We ignore friends requests, only check out the section when we've discussed to add as a friend.

If someone mentions in a message that they've sent a request, I'm happy to explain we only accept when we're seriously talking about meeting.

It can be frustrating for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use other messaging apps because fab no longer gives you a discreet alert when you get a message. Can't have our email alerts activated because is says quite clearly across our mobile screens "new email from fab swingers"

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

"Whilst reading profiles on a sex site, we're often already a little distracted and take in only what grabs our attention.

We ignore friends requests, only check out the section when we've discussed to add as a friend.

If someone mentions in a message that they've sent a request, I'm happy to explain we only accept when we're seriously talking about meeting.

It can be frustrating for sure."

I totally understand if the person has just glanced over everything, but it’s like don’t get offended when I say no or I don’t answer any questions anymore, honestly I’m just going to do things the old fashioned way.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Because they only skim read the profile and pick out the bits that apply to them.

You're well within your rights to say you'd prefer to stick to messaging on here.

And just delete friend requests, unless they've asked

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By *alsaGuy77Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

Just to reiterate what most of the other comments have said,there are a LOT of guys who will message every lady they can find, hoping one of them will message back. Their theory is if you throw enough mud at the wall some of it will stick. You also will find a lot of picture collectors too. Unfortunately these guys (many posing as couples too) give the rest of us a bad name, but we aren't all like that.

My advise is stay hidden and find who you want, if you have the time and inclination to do the searching. Alternatively go to a club as you are more likely to find genuine people there and at least you know they exist!

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

"Just to reiterate what most of the other comments have said,there are a LOT of guys who will message every lady they can find, hoping one of them will message back. Their theory is if you throw enough mud at the wall some of it will stick. You also will find a lot of picture collectors too. Unfortunately these guys (many posing as couples too) give the rest of us a bad name, but we aren't all like that.

My only action I am taking is going to a few clubs, that’s it, and it’s not a bloke pretending to be a couple, because how do you explain their verifications, and honestly that’s why I didn’t want to share any pictures only on my friends list but I’ve come to the decision just to go to clubs and if that fails then piss off entirely and just go back to tinder

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By *ister-mischiefMan
over a year ago

Trafford

Like why do they ask for Snapchat and kik and WhatsApp, especially when they have no intention of meeting?? Why why why??

It’s late so some of this probably won’t make any sense "

More than likely after wank fodder if they are asking for other forms of messaging.I never ask for it as prefer to meet socially or at a club. Filters are great Mrs m who has her own profile has them on and works a treat. As for the friend requests they don't look or read its a common occurance im afraid. Just block they might get the hint then

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

I think you're getting worked up over nothing.

If people are messaging you, winking or adding you that don't fit your criteria just ignore or block them.

Our first line of our profiles says to read before messaging and most don't, we don't spend time worrying about it and just ignore.

People ask to take it to kik because it's a lot more streamlined for sending pics and you can also send videos.

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

"I think you're getting worked up over nothing.

If people are messaging you, winking or adding you that don't fit your criteria just ignore or block them.

Our first line of our profiles says to read before messaging and most don't, we don't spend time worrying about it and just ignore.

People ask to take it to kik because it's a lot more streamlined for sending pics and you can also send videos."

Okay okay first things first, I’m not getting worked up, second thing I have deleted every message I get sent third thing if I have pictures and videos on my account why ask for more, I literally have 60 pictures of myself including boobs bums body legs face face and legs pussy every think you could possibly want I’ve got on my profile on my pictures and on my videos. Last time I asked for advice about my profile bio I got told it was too long no one is going to read that and I think you should cut it down a little. Which I did and still had the same problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use fab for forums and perving at pics. Use clubs for meets. Mainly don't worry about wankers and don't let them get you down. M X

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

"Use fab for forums and perving at pics. Use clubs for meets. Mainly don't worry about wankers and don't let them get you down. M X"

That’s what I’m planning to do at the end of September I’m going to clubs that’s it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use fab for forums and perving at pics. Use clubs for meets. Mainly don't worry about wankers and don't let them get you down. M X

That’s what I’m planning to do at the end of September I’m going to clubs that’s it"

You'll love it x

Enjoy, wherever you go!

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By *eester GreyMan
over a year ago

Welwyn

"I'm having same issues.

As a man on here I can see the idiots . I get messages asking to meet me and my FWB . When I say that we will find someone when we have time to meet. I get a sackload of abuse. I personally believe if you are abusive here it's likely that behaviour carries through to meets. It also reinforces my belief that some men view this as a cheap alternative to going to a sex worker. They just don't understand the lifestyle

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

My profile asks for a specific message title

If I don't see it, I know they haven't read my profile so don't even read the message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP x

I have become quite ruthless and delete all friends requests...I don't do random friends in Facebxxk and I defo don't want random friends on Fab... I think that's part of the problem, people feel they need loads of virtual friends. Some want to perv pictures but as you say you have plenty, that can't be the case

I guess also friends updates show when clicking on updates, so people want lots of friends in case some post statuses ect for meets xx

As for going onto other message apps, I ignore such requests or politely decline.

You need to develop a thick skin on the internet these days.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

“If the fun stops, then stop”. If it’s getting you down.

I do think that women can make it far harder than it needs to be.

If someone sends you a cock pick, block. If someone sends you a friend request, block. Set your filters re age. If you don’t like seeing exploit pics on profiles, block.

Keep blocking and filtering all the unsuitable guys.

If you are still not enjoying Fab, then it’s time to delete your profile.

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By *ueenieHWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I disagree, why are women to blame, when it's the men's behaviour that is to blame, we don't put ourselves on here to be bullied, abused and feel our preferences being ignored all because men don't know how to be respectful. It's putting the decent men in a bad light. We are not to blame, some men need putting in their place and learn to be respectful to women , without us women ,you men wouldn't be getting anything from this site

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By *ripodius WillyusMan
over a year ago

Here and there

No offence intended but do not quite your point.

Are you complaining not enough message or profile not being read and friend requests being sent without asking just block the accounts not worth worrying.

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By *ripodius WillyusMan
over a year ago

Here and there

No offence intended but do not quite get your point.

Are you complaining not enough message or profile not being read and friend requests being sent without asking just block the accounts not worth worrying.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

You're absolutely not a mug.

We're seasoned swingers. We started waaaaay younger than most (early 20s) and we've been at it for 24 years and counting now (and no intention of stopping anytime soon).

Fab, without a shadow of a doubt, is full of piss takers.

Now I'm not accusing anyone on the forums and I'm not saying everyone on the site is either because they're absolutely not. We have met some truly fantastic people through Fab and will continue to use Fab. Once you work it all out, the good genuinely does outweigh the bad.

The real problem is what makes fab so appealing to begin with. It's a free of charge site.

So you get a lot of people join who are wannabe's, pic hunters, dreamers or (as our group likes to call them) zombie wankers. They're not real swingers or ever intend to meet. They'll just sit there (guaranteed it's a guy no matter what the account says) and never verify in anyway. Those are easy to avoid using message filters but as of late (especially during lockdown) we've been approached a few times by what are clearly fake accounts that somehow got verified. Either an account set up by a couple, got photo verified and then split up (happened to us twice in the last few months), an account that's "webcam verified" as a couple or woman but was a guy all along or other.

Long story short, some people take the piss and lie and no matter how good a system is, someone will try to find a way around it for their own benefit.

" When I signed up for fab I wasn’t expecting much, a few messages here and there but not a lot to write home about. But when I created my account I kinda expected people to understand what i wanted, ( and I don’t mean sexually) I mean understand what my profile bio is saying, it’s like I’m reading your profile and understanding what you are saying and what you want why can’t you do the same for me. I will give an example of what I’m talking about. On my profile it says please don’t add me as a friend until we have met in real life, is that a good thing to do or say?? "

Nothing unreasonable with that at all. A lot of people send random friend requests "just because". Cant tell you why they do it, they just do it.

" Because I still get friends requests from the same people who claim they have read my account and then say the same lame excuses oh I thought you would want to see pictures of us, (even though they have public pictures and have sent me their pictures). My second issue is why do couples ask for other social media apps?

Like why do they ask for Snapchat and kik and WhatsApp, especially when they have no intention of meeting?? Why why why??

It’s late so some of this probably won’t make any sense "

I'm with you on this. We personally couldn't really give a flying pigeon shit about using Kik or Whatsapp. We hate them quite frankly but we've started to use them because others use them. Thing is, Wife hates using her phone at the best of times even for a text message so why would we want endless chats on Whatsapp or KiK? Does nothing for us. We are quite clear with people about who we are and what we want. We meet as a couple at weekends and singles any other time (with caveats). We don't really want to talk online as my wife cant type for shit (no offense to her but thats her words, not mine) and if people want to meet, just meet asap. Dont need to spend weeks or months talking on here. Better to find out if the chemistry is there asap rather than 6 months down the line.

But thats 24 years of life and experience speaking here.

So, I can say, hand on heart, none of what you are saying or wanting is in the wrong (and I've seen a lot of your posts and account and videos. You're fully entitled to be you and what you want.

The simple "fab response" would be to just say, use your message filters and ignore all the random shit you're getting.

But...

In your specific case, I'd like to have a private conversation and not post on the forums. What I'd like to say to you isn't something I want to post here but I think I can help you if you're open to it. Message if you want. It's your call.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I disagree, why are women to blame, when it's the men's behaviour that is to blame, we don't put ourselves on here to be bullied, abused and feel our preferences being ignored all because men don't know how to be respectful. It's putting the decent men in a bad light. We are not to blame, some men need putting in their place and learn to be respectful to women , without us women ,you men wouldn't be getting anything from this site "

Yes. Put them in their place by blocking them. You have the power to get your own back for whatever behaviour they have displayed that you don’t like.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"“If the fun stops, then stop”. If it’s getting you down.

I do think that women can make it far harder than it needs to be.

If someone sends you a cock pick, block. If someone sends you a friend request, block. Set your filters re age. If you don’t like seeing exploit pics on profiles, block.

Keep blocking and filtering all the unsuitable guys.

If you are still not enjoying Fab, then it’s time to delete your profile. "

Definitely not us that make it hard work

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Exactly this. The bare minimum is to ask that someone reads a profile, yet they still struggle with this. They really don't help themselves!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

You really can't complain about people not reading a profile that is hidden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not hidden my profile, but a few weeks ago I decided to give up looking for meets and adjusted my profile to make it clear. Suddenly I've had unsolicited friend requests and emails with private pics offering meets. I've also suddenly had Fabbers in my Looked at Me list who are from all round the country. What's all that about?

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By *ueenieHWoman
over a year ago

leeds

Yes. Put them in their place by blocking them. You have the power to get your own back for whatever behaviour they have displayed that you don’t like. "

We shouldn't have to keep blocking men, if they behaved like decent people instead of thinking through their penises. It's not hard to be respectful to us women, if youcant be respect then get off the site. The amount of times men have spoken to me like i belong in a brothel is unreal, I wouldn't dream of being disrespectful to men on here, treating them like rubbish. I don't block, I put men straight by calling them out on their behaviour

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By *ustfortheforums OP Woman
over a year ago

Yes. Put them in their place by blocking them. You have the power to get your own back for whatever behaviour they have displayed that you don’t like.

I wasn’t going to reply back but most of you are now jumping to conclusions that it’s the “men” of the site, it’s not them because as people have told me in the past just to block them which. Which I have AND I’ve used the filters to cut them out completely. The situation goes as follows, I log on to fab, see a couple I like the look of I decide to just fab one of their pictures or two, then say like two days later get a message from said couple saying I’m really hot I’m pretty, then say something about what I HAVE put on my profile (50% of the time it’s about my toys), I message back my answer then they talk sexual to me which is all fine. But after about 10 minutes

Boom asking for my number asking to add me as a friend, when I say no or why I get the same lame excuses just easier oh I thought you would want to see more of me.

The truth is why I’m replying now is because most of you are thinking I am on about men I’m not, I’m not replying to anyone after today

All my ugly self is going to Focus on is getting a hotel booked the train booked and hopefully some clubs will be open.

I haven’t replied for ages so I felt like I had to step in

And the people who are saying my account is hidden, does it matter?? Especially if I’m only using this account for the forums.

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By *ach3Man
over a year ago

Watford

I think you are thinking to hard on this. As ultimately a unicorn (a single female) you are going to get a lot of attention from both females, couples and ultimately males - not withstanding that this is a free site and you are going to get a lot of wannabe singers who will never commit.

Whilst I note your profile is now hidden, if you have plenty of photos on it already then that should be sufficient. Dont apologis for a lengthy profile, you hold the power, and if it gets too much - just do a mass delete like everyone else lol

No one wants people who live miles away, so just do your searches - like the profiles that interest you and see what happens. If your feeling particularly brave, post a meet (even if its a social) and see who catches your eye.

As others have said, this is supposed to be fun - so enjoy.

Personally I'm also on a paid for site, which tends to sort the wheat from the chaff - but each to their own.

Good luck

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Just chill

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