FabSwingers.com forum: Profile advice, and tips on a good first message.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,

I know the odds of men getting attention on here is always going to be like a single sperm trying to fertilise an egg, but I thought I'd ask for some advice on my profile and see if I'm obviously turning people away?

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I can only respond from my pov.

Photos : don't inspire, first is a cock shot.. Perhaps try something a little more exciting, erotic, black and white, sensual.

Age range : I feel you bypassed this or you really are desperate

Narrative : partner's (partner is)?

If you are exploring your Dom side you say nothing about it.. You move onto soft and sensual :/

It just seems a mish mash of things and nothing in particular.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can only respond from my pov.

Photos : don't inspire, first is a cock shot.. Perhaps try something a little more exciting, erotic, black and white, sensual.

Age range : I feel you bypassed this or you really are desperate

Narrative : partner's (partner is)?

If you are exploring your Dom side you say nothing about it.. You move onto soft and sensual :/

It just seems a mish mash of things and nothing in particular.

Totally fair critique, you're right about the age range, just tweaked that, and the reference to partners was odd.

I personally didn't want to sound like I'm bigging myself up by overly describing and then come across sounding like god's gift.

But definitely can't hurt to give some more info of experience and likes.

Thank you

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Hi all,

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

There’s no typical first message. Every recipient is different.

But rule of thumb:

Read their bio, needs, likes and their verifications. It will give you an idea of their personality.

Look at what they’re looking for.

Then have a look at any public photos. Also see if they’ve been active on the forums.

Only then should you write a personalised message to them. Talk about the person you’re writing to, and if it’s a couple, include both parties.

At the end, as a footnote, tell them a sentence or paragraph about yourself. Leave it open for them to respond.

You won’t get 100% response rate, nobody does. But I bet you will start getting responses.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi all,

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

There’s no typical first message. Every recipient is different.

But rule of thumb:

Read their bio, needs, likes and their verifications. It will give you an idea of their personality.

Look at what they’re looking for.

Then have a look at any public photos. Also see if they’ve been active on the forums.

Only then should you write a personalised message to them. Talk about the person you’re writing to, and if it’s a couple, include both parties.

At the end, as a footnote, tell them a sentence or paragraph about yourself. Leave it open for them to respond.

You won’t get 100% response rate, nobody does. But I bet you will start getting responses. "

Thanks for the reply mate, I do my best in taking aspect of their profile and likes in my messages to show I've read it through (only polite).

I think i might not be the most eloquent in messaging some times. And I suppose I also don't try and sell myself in a message, as I thought that might be a presumptuous. But I guess if you only get one chance you have to say something about you, rather than just them.

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By *uddy laneMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Hi all,

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

There’s no typical first message. Every recipient is different.

But rule of thumb:

Read their bio, needs, likes and their verifications. It will give you an idea of their personality.

Look at what they’re looking for.

Then have a look at any public photos. Also see if they’ve been active on the forums.

Only then should you write a personalised message to them. Talk about the person you’re writing to, and if it’s a couple, include both parties.

At the end, as a footnote, tell them a sentence or paragraph about yourself. Leave it open for them to respond.

You won’t get 100% response rate, nobody does. But I bet you will start getting responses.

Thanks for the reply mate, I do my best in taking aspect of their profile and likes in my messages to show I've read it through (only polite).

"Let me introduce myself"

is a good start

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Never send generic copy and paste messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi all,

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

There’s no typical first message. Every recipient is different.

But rule of thumb:

Read their bio, needs, likes and their verifications. It will give you an idea of their personality.

Look at what they’re looking for.

Then have a look at any public photos. Also see if they’ve been active on the forums.

Only then should you write a personalised message to them. Talk about the person you’re writing to, and if it’s a couple, include both parties.

At the end, as a footnote, tell them a sentence or paragraph about yourself. Leave it open for them to respond.

You won’t get 100% response rate, nobody does. But I bet you will start getting responses.

Thanks for the reply mate, I do my best in taking aspect of their profile and likes in my messages to show I've read it through (only polite).

"Let me introduce myself"

is a good start

Love it, nothing wrong with the classics

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

You pretty much launch straight in with the "exploring my Dom side", that'd immediately put me off because to me a D/s dynamic is hugely based on trust & communication which is built over time, I'd steer well clear of anyone who thought that would be something to explore with a stranger off fab.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never send generic copy and paste messages. "

Absolutely not, I don't have the back catalogue to fall back on, so fresh messages each time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You pretty much launch straight in with the "exploring my Dom side", that'd immediately put me off because to me a D/s dynamic is hugely based on trust & communication which is built over time, I'd steer well clear of anyone who thought that would be something to explore with a stranger off fab. "

Thanks for the honest response. To be fair, it's not something I push for, and you're absolutely right it's a trust thing. Not a day 1 activity.

A little disclaimer and less prominence sounds like it's for the best.

Thanks again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Revamped profile looks good to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d also be careful of verifications that make it look like you broke lockdown rules!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think your profile is great, didn't see the original. Some more public pics would be good, maybe one of your arse. A lot of ladies do love a nice bum!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Revamped profile looks good to me

Thank you very much, your profile is wonderful btw, wish I lived closer

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Hi all,

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

There’s no typical first message. Every recipient is different.

But rule of thumb:

Read their bio, needs, likes and their verifications. It will give you an idea of their personality.

Look at what they’re looking for.

Then have a look at any public photos. Also see if they’ve been active on the forums.

Only then should you write a personalised message to them. Talk about the person you’re writing to, and if it’s a couple, include both parties.

At the end, as a footnote, tell them a sentence or paragraph about yourself. Leave it open for them to respond.

You won’t get 100% response rate, nobody does. But I bet you will start getting responses.

Thanks for the reply mate, I do my best in taking aspect of their profile and likes in my messages to show I've read it through (only polite).

You seem like a guy that’s taking in everything that’s being said. You’ve made changes to your profile based on what’s being said in here. You’re polite, and respectful. Keep it up and the messages will start coming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Revamped profile looks good to me

Thank you very much, your profile is wonderful btw, wish I lived closer

Haha thanks!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think your profile is great, didn't see the original. Some more public pics would be good, maybe one of your arse. A lot of ladies do love a nice bum!

Thank you very much, a bit hard to take a good picture of my own arse.

I may be in need of a good camera lady

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi all,

Also I don't message saying, hey you look nice, fancy a shag.

I do try and put effort into a first message, but more often than not have messages read and not replied. I guess this is just par the course, but again thought I'd ask for advice there too.

Cheers

There’s no typical first message. Every recipient is different.

But rule of thumb:

Read their bio, needs, likes and their verifications. It will give you an idea of their personality.

Look at what they’re looking for.

Then have a look at any public photos. Also see if they’ve been active on the forums.

Only then should you write a personalised message to them. Talk about the person you’re writing to, and if it’s a couple, include both parties.

At the end, as a footnote, tell them a sentence or paragraph about yourself. Leave it open for them to respond.

You won’t get 100% response rate, nobody does. But I bet you will start getting responses.

Thanks for the reply mate, I do my best in taking aspect of their profile and likes in my messages to show I've read it through (only polite).

Thanks bud, not here to sleep with the whole site, just meet some good people and have some good clean (and naughty

) fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks good now you have tweaked it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Looks good now you have tweaked it

Ta muchly

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

That's a big improvement.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's a big improvement. "

Thank you

And thanks to everyone who took time out to message, really shows there's people happy to help and encourage on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooh, we have a twofor.

Two for the price of one - a profile advice and first message thread combined, lol.

Apologies OP, not making fun of you but threads on these subjects are a daily occurance, so you can pribably appreciate that, at times, some of us might occasionaly decide to have a little fun on such a thread with a bit of sarcasm etc.

Always worth doing a quick forum search before posting something in case it's been raised before.

After all, that's what the facility is there for.

If you were to search for 'first message, or 'opening message' you'll probably be staggered by how many threads there are and tge same goes for profile advice.

I'd suggest having a read through some of those and see what you can pick up.

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