FabSwingers.com forum: Why do you 'wink' somebody?

By *armupartist OP Man
over a year ago

York

I recently received a wink from a couple but my follow up message was ignored.

What is the point of winking if you are not saying 'hello'?

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

Maybe they liked the look of you but didn't like your message?

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By *stoppMan
over a year ago

Durham

Winks are a waste of time in my book, hence I don’t reply to them in any form of communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

This, I agree with

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

It is beyond us why people wink us, we have on our profile that we don't even check them. For the exact reason OP says. We used to reply but 99% of the time we never got a reply. We like a thought out message, it shows people can put an effort into what they do on here. To many fantasists

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London

To grab their attention… if they wink back I send a message. Have had two couples profile do that then read the message and not reply. Makes me wonder why they winked back in the first place but then again people are odd like that so I don’t dwell and just move on

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By *j321Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Always reply to a wink

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By *his_Kitty_ScratchesWoman
over a year ago

WSM

I don’t look at my winks, I take it as they liked my profile but not enough to make contact so I leave them be. Don’t think I’ve ever winked at anyone myself

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By *armupartist OP Man
over a year ago

York

That for the thoughts all. I have used wink I see that somebody’s with whom I have chatted or met is online to give them the option of chatting or not (they might be chatting to A. N. Other so it is less I interruptive (if that is a word)).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is beyond us why people wink us, we have on our profile that we don't even check them. For the exact reason OP says. We used to reply but 99% of the time we never got a reply. We like a thought out message, it shows people can put an effort into what they do on here. To many fantasists

Totally agree.

I can totally understand why many consider winks to be lazy and I very rarely send inks these days - sometimes if there's a winking thread in the forum I might

I find a message is a much better way to express interest - because you can pick up specific things.

I have had winks before, and like the OP says, when you respond with a message you get ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink to show interest,but rarely get a reply,but always answer any messages or winks. But don’t get it when someone winks you,you reply with wink or message and then nothing.

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By *educerMan
over a year ago

Brentwood

A wink is a sign of interest, I prefer a message but have been known to give out the odd wink

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I see them as a soft sign of interest, don't know why people don't just message though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got my first meet through winking, because it’s all I was brave enough to do, 18 months later, we’re still together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having said that, I never even check my winks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a wink

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By *eefdoddusCouple
over a year ago

Scottish Borders

We get winks from friends if they fancy a chat just to see if we're actually online. Fab often shows us on when we aren't. If its from a couple we haven't spoken to before we always say hi back.

Get lots from single guys who haven't even read our profile. They get deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I barely look at my winks. Out of curiosity I looked at them yesterday and noticed there was about 20 of them lol. I just deleted them. I much prefer a message, that's what gets a conversation going, not a wink x

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I never even look at my winks and just bulk delete when I notice the list is getting a little long.

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

A wink is a wink, nothing more or less

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By *implynaughty1Couple
over a year ago

stockport

Nothing wrong with a cheeky wink

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By *orthAngusCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Angus

We love it when received a wink x

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We use winks as a way of testing the water. Having a wink unreciprocated is a lot easier than having a message ignored. If we get a wink back then we know there's at least a basic attraction all round to build from

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By *erms and conditionsCouple
over a year ago

Alton

We wink to show interest and if they don't like the look of us then we won't push it further

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

I wink if I like the look of someone but not sure they would be interested in us.

Lily

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

I agree with this totally, once a wink back has been received it's like a sign they have looked at your profile and saying OK send me an interesting message, much better than sending a blind message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

Ah so THIS is the rule! Dam I thought it was a hint for a message or connection… don’t know I was supposed to wink back

#nowiknow

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

Agree with this post.

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By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

Like a number of you I send a wink to express interest. Quite often I see a profile that interests me so I send a wink and if they wink back I take it that they're interested so I then send a message.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I generally don't check winks until I see posts like this one that remind me they exist! I never ever send winks, if I am interested then I will send a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a way of expressing interest, hoping the recipient winks back and then I would send a message.

I always respond to any winks I get.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

But if a person has sent a wink as a polite hello, would their be a need to send one back, why not just send a message it's not ping pong

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

"I recently received a wink from a couple but my follow up message was ignored.

What is the point of winking if you are not saying 'hello'?"

I wink at a person(s) if I look at the profile and/or pictures and see myself naked in bed having sex, it's pure and simple. Doesn't mean I am GOING to have sex, just means I find them attractive enough to think in those terms. I then expect a nice message in return. Sometimes it's a great message and years down then line they're still sex partners. More often it's a "Wanna fuck" type of half a liner then they wonder why they didn't get a reply. Yes it IS a bit arrogant of me to not write the first "nice" message fully admit to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like others have said, I see a wink as a way of saying I’m interested in you if my profile is of interest wink back.

It saves writing a long and detailed message that just sits there unread or just gets deleted, which is pretty rude, but then again I guess some get zillions of messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wink, as others have said, to show some initial interest. This can still pitter out very easily after initial message exchanges though.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Like most people here, I send winks to express interest. If I get a wink back, I view that as a cue to send a message.

However, I'm aware that some people on get so many winks they bulk delete them without even looking, so it's not as reliable a gauge of potential interest as I would like.

I always check my winks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use and check winks, it's a very instant way to send a signal there may be interest there. If really interested though I will message. I am guilty of accidentally winking on occasion though too.

We get winks people don't follow up on I don't read too much into it.

Tabitha x

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By *ont you just loveCouple
over a year ago

Banbury

We wink if a male takes our fancy, then they can contact if they want to otherwise they can't message because of filters.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We wink as a way of gauging interest.

As I said in an earlier thread about winking it frustrating when somebody winks and then ignores your follow up message but hey it ua fab who knows why people do things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're not a fan of receiving winks, lazy approach in our opinion, prefer a message

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I send winks as a nod of appreciation, to people I’m unlikely to ever meet, but I still liked the look and sound of their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send winks as a sort of catching you eye across a busy room thing. Let's someone know I'm interested in what I have seen in there profile. If they wink or message back then great, the ice is broken. I generally always try to reply back to winks I receive. Some people just find it difficult to send the first message.

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By *ont you just loveCouple
over a year ago

Banbury

Had a wink today went to look at profile and send a message but they had hidden their profile or blocked us. It was only ten minutes after they had winked so it's their loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe Mr winked but Mrs didn’t agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I recently received a wink from a couple but my follow up message was ignored.

What is the point of winking if you are not saying 'hello'?"

I can understand the frustration...

but maybe they changed their mind!

It happens I'm afraid....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They work for us , had a few socials / meets coming from an initial wink . Some think it’s lazy but we consider it as breaking the ice

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By *eat and discreetCouple
over a year ago

somewhere

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"
this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hellothis

Exactly this

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By *evil in the DomMan
over a year ago

London

I state in my bio that I don't respond to winks so I assume that when I do get one it's someone just showing appreciation for my profile... Which as always good!

Couples or singles will usually reach out via message if they're interested or have a question.... Hopefully anyway - otherwise I've missed some opportunities!

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By *andy and DannyCouple
over a year ago

Barnstaple

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

This works for us also

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By *ibsonVicMan
over a year ago

Minworth

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

I agreee entirely with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blokes love a wink - esp when 95% of messages get ignored. Single women / couples hate it because they want to be wooed, not gawped at. Am i right!?

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By *ickdasterdly51Man
over a year ago

Lingfield

"Blokes love a wink - esp when 95% of messages get ignored. Single women / couples hate it because they want to be wooed, not gawped at. Am i right!?"

I'm guessing you are right. From a single blokes view it's easier that writing a decent personal message that's ignored or even worse not read. It's disappointing they aren't used more, I'm sure there could be some way that messages could only be exchanged if two parties had winked each other. Would cut out a lot of time wasting for people like me and would stop a lot of the 'hows you' or 'fancy a fuck' type messages that couples and single women complain about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink because I like the profile. Simple as really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's happened to me a fair bit.

I'm not a big fan of winks for this reason. You never know the exact reason why they've winked, and when you message to ask, you get no reply.

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By *ants Horse Hung CockMan
over a year ago

co durham

"I recently received a wink from a couple but my follow up message was ignored.

What is the point of winking if you are not saying 'hello'?"

Happened a few times to me too and from single ladies

Fustrating

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By *ants Horse Hung CockMan
over a year ago

co durham

I send winks as I am mostly fed up of making numerous custom tailored messages only for people ignore or deleted them

I wink to show interest and hopw that it gets seen

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By *errymanxxxMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Send a wink to show interest,and hopefully see where it goes

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

It’s difficult to say, testing the waters

I had a lady wink and then block …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink to let the person/s that I am interested, as a BBW I'm not to everyone's taste so that gives them a chance just to look and not feel pressured to answer a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blokes love a wink - esp when 95% of messages get ignored. Single women / couples hate it because they want to be wooed, not gawped at. Am i right!?"

Nope I met a FB through winking first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would wink to show initial interest, if we get a wink back then we will message.

Saves wasting anyones time

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Simply because I like what I see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wink if we want to maybe get to know someone a bit better and want to gauge if they are interested.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

"Blokes love a wink - esp when 95% of messages get ignored. Single women / couples hate it because they want to be wooed, not gawped at. Am i right!?

Nope I met a FB through winking first

He must be in your area , lucky him ..

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Tip for those who send winks. Don't send them to people who specifically say they don't want them. Save them for people who don't mind and may even respond. We do mind and won't respond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I state in my bio that I don't respond to winks so I assume that when I do get one it's someone just showing appreciation for my profile... Which as always good!

Couples or singles will usually reach out via message if they're interested or have a question.... Hopefully anyway - otherwise I've missed some opportunities!

Far more likely that they didn’t bother to read the profile in my experience…….

I almost never respond to or even look at winks. Still think they’re a lazy way to make contact.

I do always respond to messages that go beyond the standard one-liners though even if we’re not interested. Think it’s quite rude not to respond if someone has clearly made some effort to read the profile and craft a decent message…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blokes love a wink - esp when 95% of messages get ignored. Single women / couples hate it because they want to be wooed, not gawped at. Am i right!?

Nope I met a FB through winking first

He must be in your area , lucky him .."

Yep he was at the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Winks are a waste of time in my book, hence I don’t reply to them in any form of communication."

Agreed! I never look at mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

Yes, we agree. We do the same

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

"We would wink to show initial interest, if we get a wink back then we will message.

Saves wasting anyones time"

This works for us as well.

If their profile is 100% looking for the same as us then we’ll most likely start with a message.

A wink from us means we’d like to know more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

Exactly this

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Was the follow up message unread ?

Couples and singles get inundated with messages.

Wouldn't take it too personally maybe message again in a few weeks or wink back to see if the interest is still there

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By *lwaysonmymind!Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

As a guy on here I can spend a lot of time trying to write a decent message of introduction but 9 times outta 10 they ain’t even read.

Winks are probably ignored more but at least if they do venture to my profile it will them show them that I have previously checked them out and liked what I have seen.

Plus some profiles are sooo good that they get a wink just because

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By *on-snowedMan
over a year ago

harlow

I dont understand why people turn off the thing where they have viewed your profile.

Who cares if you've had a look?

Problem ive always felt is noone wnats to message first.

Bit silly considering its a social network to make friends.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I dont understand why people turn off the thing where they have viewed your profile.

Who cares if you've had a look?

Problem ive always felt is noone wnats to message first.

Bit silly considering its a social network to make friends. "

I used stealth mode so nobody has to feel uncomfortable about me looking at them. It’s just courtesy.

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

"I recently received a wink from a couple but my follow up message was ignored.

What is the point of winking if you are not saying 'hello'?"

Just move on...!

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By *on-snowedMan
over a year ago

harlow

"I dont understand why people turn off the thing where they have viewed your profile.

Who cares if you've had a look?

Problem ive always felt is noone wnats to message first.

Bit silly considering its a social network to make friends.

I used stealth mode so nobody has to feel uncomfortable about me looking at them. It’s just courtesy.

Not sure whats worse, the feeling of no one looking at your profile and feeling hella ugly

Or what you just said.

Got me thinking

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

"We would wink to show initial interest, if we get a wink back then we will message.

Saves wasting anyones time

This works for us as well.

If their profile is 100% looking for the same as us then we’ll most likely start with a message.

A wink from us means we’d like to know more. "

Agree with above

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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago

Kidderminster

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

This also why we like winks

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We don't send or reply to winks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use winks to people we like the look of, and if we receive one back we take it as reciprocal. Then we follow up with a nice message. Winks to us, are like a nice smile across a bar or a club...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

agree with this

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By *quirt1810Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"I don’t look at my winks, I take it as they liked my profile but not enough to make contact so I leave them be. Don’t think I’ve ever winked at anyone myself "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I recently received a wink from a couple but my follow up message was ignored.

What is the point of winking if you are not saying 'hello'?"

I have been saying "Hallo" and even much more but not getting any response till now so "Wink" has been created to say that person who send you a Wink is interested about you and would like to have some chat, if you Wink back it means that you interested too and also looking forward for some chat. Than for sure you will receive a msgs from this person.

I don't understand why people don't use it does Winks as they could save many anoing situations.

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By *adyJane86Woman
over a year ago

South of Lincoln

Winks are pointless .. just be direct and send a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Winks are a waste of time in my book, hence I don’t reply to them in any form of communication."

It is very nice idea of fast and easy 1st contact actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink to let people know that I’m interested in chatting with them

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

Winks wouldn't be so useless if "courting" here wouldn't be such a hassle in general. But it is, too high expections and still looking for mister perfect.

I think some people have the wrong expectations...

Anyways. Because of that winks just get ignored because they're "low effort", and the message you send regarding their wink might just be lost among the messages in their inbox.

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By *oson-BlueCouple
over a year ago

North Kent

We don't usually wink at anyone out of the blue, but might sometimes wink back at someone who winks us if (a) we actually notice it in the first place and (b) we like the profile.

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

How many who have replied in the negative send a message first and get a reply? Women supposedly getting loads of messages,see an inbox of 250 unread and just delete the lot so whats the point in messaging if you aren't going to bother your arse reading them all?

We send a wink because people are busy and a message can get lost in the wash. If we get a wink we'll wink back if we like the profile and take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Winks wouldn't be so useless if "courting" here wouldn't be such a hassle in general. But it is, too high expections and still looking for mister perfect.

I think some people have the wrong expectations...

Anyways. Because of that winks just get ignored because they're "low effort", and the message you send regarding their wink might just be lost among the messages in their inbox."

I always look at winks and friend requests - like a heads up to view their profile. If after reading theirs it isn't for me. Then no major problem.... Must be other people who do the same!

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We look at winks and if we like their profile we’ll either wink back or message.

We’ll wink as well just to show interest. Then if they respond with a wink we’ll send a message.

It’s just to show interest. It’s not seen as lazy by us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wink at people I like the look of, sometimes just because I’d like them to know (e.g. if they’re hundreds of miles away and we’re never likely to meet or I’m clearly not what they want) or the same but also testing the water if there could be some potential.

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By *nkforthekinkMan
over a year ago

london/fareham/brighton

"we often wink to show interest, and if they wink back we follow with a message, saves righting a long message to someone who isnt interested, we find it a good way to say hello"

This!

sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t!

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"We use winks to people we like the look of, and if we receive one back we take it as reciprocal. Then we follow up with a nice message. Winks to us, are like a nice smile across a bar or a club..."

this

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