FabSwingers.com forum: Feelings.....

By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

One of these meets has turned in to a firm friendship/FWB (which is my ideal scenario). We see each other regularly (not just for sex) and also still see other people as well. We do have quite a strong connection with each other emotionally. Maybe that's part of the issue?

I'm naturally quite thoughtful and romantic and this appears to be causing issues for me and my FWB. I don't see anything wrong with us holding hands, or me buying her little thoughtful gifts etc. However, my FWB has aspirations of settling down, having a LTR and tells me that I give out 'mixed messages'. I do not want a monogamous LTR at all.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts."

This is why I won’t meet someone more than once or have a fwb. I think it blurs the boundaries and someone is likely to develop feelings. It’s a difficult one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but it does sound like mixed messages. These are things you do in a relationship rather than things FWBs generally do!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If she's saying you're giving out mixed messages then you need to talk. You should be asking her if you need to stop doing things because she's the only one who can tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah i totally get why they have said mixed messages and it's great that they have told you

I guess you are, asking if you or they need to change... Its difficult when you have different aspirations in life..

For me, it would be easier without the LTR benefits if you are not interested in commitment... Otherwise emotions and boundaries become very cloudy, even if intention is stated clearly

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

So maybe I need to look at what a FWB actually is and not what I think it is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can have FWB and keep my emotions in check. But one offs are easier xx

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Yeah i totally get why they have said mixed messages and it's great that they have told you

I guess you are, asking if you or they need to change... Its difficult when you have different aspirations in life..

For me, it would be easier without the LTR benefits if you are not interested in commitment... Otherwise emotions and boundaries become very cloudy, even if intention is stated clearly "

I suppose that I'm a typical 'wears on his sleeve' kind of guy so not expressing or having emotions is difficult. I am not interested in commitment but she is (not necessarily with me though).

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I can have FWB and keep my emotions in check. But one offs are easier xx"

Please tell me how you achieve this!!!!!

I agree that one offs are so much easier, especially if they have a partner/husband (playing with permission of course).

Have been reading 'the ethical slut' to try and reprogram my brain away from monogamy. I want to learn and change.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So maybe I need to look at what a FWB actually is and not what I think it is!"

You need to look at that in conjunction with your FWB.

If you have a clear idea of what each of you wants and expects you can choose to compromise or not...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can have FWB and keep my emotions in check. But one offs are easier xx

Please tell me how you achieve this!!!!!

I agree that one offs are so much easier, especially if they have a partner/husband (playing with permission of course).

Have been reading 'the ethical slut' to try and reprogram my brain away from monogamy. I want to learn and change."

I'm happy with my husband and we have an unshakable deep rooted married. So this is just extra for me. I'm also a natural slut and happy shagging around with no attachment, sex can just be physical for me xx

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By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

I think you need to discuss with your friend what Her boundaries are & what a LTR means to her (if you met here it's possible it may not mean monogomy

You seem to be blurring the lines of a FWB with the holding hands and buying gifts, seeing one another without sex, emotional connection

None of thar sounds like a FWB to me, it sounds like a relationship where you can fuck other people

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

oh, ok. I have clearly NOT understood what a FWB is then!

I have had a very close female friend for a long time and we hold hands, hug, peck on the cheek, buy each other little gifts etc but we are only friends and only ever will be (by mutual consent). I've very much not understood what a FWB is!!!

Thank you for all of your input.

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

You see each other regularly “ not just for sex” . I believe you know exactly what fwb is and your the one who wants the cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see where the OP is coming from in that when having a friend with benefits as well as the sexual side of it there is an admiration and friendship and certainly I like to be kind and thoughtful to my friends whether it’s a small token or gift or a meal or drink. It feels good to share things with friends. Whether they have benefits or not.

I think some people can see that as being romantic rather than thoughtful or considerate and become wary if they are not looking for romance.

I am not sure if that’s what the OPs point was but that’s what I got from it.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"You see each other regularly “ not just for sex” . I believe you know exactly what fwb is and your the one who wants the cream"

I'm not quite sure what you mean? I see a lot of my friends regularly. If you are suggesting that I am in some way being underhand/manipulative then you are very much mistaken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts."

But you do give out mixed signals because you obviously hold her hand on public, and buy her gifts and yada yada, it might mean just that for you. But clearly for the girl you are seeing means more!

It’d mean more for a lot of women out there, I’d say, because you are being quite romantic.

You see, for me, holding hand in public is very deep and means a lot to me. I never really had it happen to me with a guy yet, so it’d mean a lot. Obviously

I can’t speak for your girl, but all these things put together no wonder she’s getting the feels ….

If you are not interested in a romantic relationship, maybe u should tone it down and treat it as a FWB type of relationship..

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I can see where the OP is coming from in that when having a friend with benefits as well as the sexual side of it there is an admiration and friendship and certainly I like to be kind and thoughtful to my friends whether it’s a small token or gift or a meal or drink. It feels good to share things with friends. Whether they have benefits or not.

I think some people can see that as being romantic rather than thoughtful or considerate and become wary if they are not looking for romance.

I am not sure if that’s what the OPs point was but that’s what I got from it.

That is exactly my point.

Have now done a bit of reading on FWB relationships and have discovered two key things that I/we are not doing right:

1. 'romantic gestures' are often absent/avoided in a FWB as they can create/cause complications via conflicting emotions.

2. Changing or new feelings that surface have to be discussed, even if there is potential for either party to become hurt.

I'll have to have a conversation with her so that we can re-evaluate things together.

Thank you all, very much.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Thank you for your perspective and input. Noted. I see now that I've not fully considered how she may/could/has interpreted things. Back on the case now though. TBH if it had to come down to it I'd rather keep the friendship and lose the benefits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people can see that as being romantic rather than thoughtful or considerate and become wary if they are not looking for romance.

I am not sure if that’s what the OPs point was but that’s what I got from it.

That is exactly my point.

Have now done a bit of reading on FWB relationships and have discovered two key things that I/we are not doing right:

1. 'romantic gestures' are often absent/avoided in a FWB as they can create/cause complications via conflicting emotions.

2. Changing or new feelings that surface have to be discussed, even if there is potential for either party to become hurt.

I'll have to have a conversation with her so that we can re-evaluate things together.

Thank you all, very much."

Exactly. key of FWB is that it’s the next step to sex with a stranger. But instead of a stranger, You do it with someone who you know and keep it strictly sexual. Maybe even weekly or something!

I have a friend who also was in a similar situation, didn’t want anything serious but loved being thoughtful and used to give the girl gifts and take her out.. (and bonking her obvs) …she was so confused the poor cow! (No wonder)

He’s a giver, but I did tell him off as he was sending off mixed signal. In the end they talked it out and parted ways as she wanted more.

Hope we managed to clarify a bit and hope you can sort everything out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you for your perspective and input. Noted. I see now that I've not fully considered how she may/could/has interpreted things. Back on the case now though. TBH if it had to come down to it I'd rather keep the friendship and lose the benefits."

The problem with that is once you opened the can of worms… it might not be so easy… especially if she’s already got u in the romantic light. Trust me, I’ve been there… and bet loads of other women too!!

Best thing is talking to her, but accept if she needs some time for herself to get over it..

once she does. You might be able to be JUST friends again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people can see that as being romantic rather than thoughtful or considerate and become wary if they are not looking for romance.

I am not sure if that’s what the OPs point was but that’s what I got from it.

That is exactly my point.

Have now done a bit of reading on FWB relationships and have discovered two key things that I/we are not doing right:

1. 'romantic gestures' are often absent/avoided in a FWB as they can create/cause complications via conflicting emotions.

2. Changing or new feelings that surface have to be discussed, even if there is potential for either party to become hurt.

I'll have to have a conversation with her so that we can re-evaluate things together.

Thank you all, very much."

You sound like a thoughtful guy but I think public demonstrations of affection ie holding hands, kissing, general (non-sexual) touching are all non-verbal communications which indicate to her that you are romantically interested; the buying of presents will confirm this too. Either you are denying your true feelings for her or you are definitely sending her the wrong message. 95% of all communication is non-verbal so be very aware of the things you are not saying that she is picking up on. Be straight with her about your intentions or you could lose a good friend who believes she has been led down the garden path or used. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck, you sound kind a nice , well intentioned guy. Hope it works out for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kinda disagree with many on this thread. I think FWB should definitely involve friendship things, so meeting up non-sexually for dinner etc is absolutely fine. I’d also expect to kiss my FWBs as that’s part of the “benefits”. Gifts and hand holding in public… yeah I can see that being more romantic. That said, I buy my friends gifts.

OP I guess your FWB has a different idea of what being friends with benefits is. Some people seem to think the friendship part is kept to a bare minimum, but to my mind that’s a fuckbuddy, not a FWB (and there’s nothing wrong with being fuckbuddies)

Finally, feelings can always happen but that doesn’t mean either party has to actually act on them.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Awwww, you sound lovely OP. I think with anyone who see on a regular basis, especially on here, you have to set the boundaries from the get go.

I'd love all that romantic stuff, but I'm able to switch off in between meeting up.

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By *ink flamingoWoman
over a year ago

essex

I’ve had FWBs in the past one of which was for 7 years on and off and never felt more than friends.

However, I’ve been seeing a chap for over 3 years and I have caught the feels. But it still works for us, I’ve realised I and my husband are perhaps more poly than we realised.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"You sound like a thoughtful guy but I think public demonstrations of affection ie holding hands, kissing, general (non-sexual) touching are all non-verbal communications which indicate to her that you are romantically interested; the buying of presents will confirm this too. Either you are denying your true feelings for her or you are definitely sending her the wrong message. 95% of all communication is non-verbal so be very aware of the things you are not saying that she is picking up on. Be straight with her about your intentions or you could lose a good friend who believes she has been led down the garden path or used. Good luck."

Thank yo for your thoughts. I have been very straight with her right from the start. I do not want a 'relationship', I do not want to live with anyone, I do not want exclusivity. However, I do now see how my 'non-verbals' have contradicted what I said and meant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had FWBs in the past one of which was for 7 years on and off and never felt more than friends.

However, I’ve been seeing a chap for over 3 years and I have caught the feels. But it still works for us, I’ve realised I and my husband are perhaps more poly than we realised."

Yeah I guess getting the feels isn’t with everyone, but the ones we feel a connection with. I have had friends with benefits who I’ve never remotely

Thought as more (no matter if they gave me gifts… but then again I wouldn’t hold their hands in the street ) .. while others I caught the feels for lol even if it started as casual FWB.

How strange

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Good luck, you sound kind a nice , well intentioned guy. Hope it works out for you"

I'd like to think that I am all of the above! I just thought I knew what a FWB was without actually looking in to it and making myself aware of the potential pitfalls and what to avoid! Living and learning!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I think some people can see that as being romantic rather than thoughtful or considerate and become wary if they are not looking for romance.

I am not sure if that’s what the OPs point was but that’s what I got from it.

That is exactly my point.

Have now done a bit of reading on FWB relationships and have discovered two key things that I/we are not doing right:

1. 'romantic gestures' are often absent/avoided in a FWB as they can create/cause complications via conflicting emotions.

2. Changing or new feelings that surface have to be discussed, even if there is potential for either party to become hurt.

I'll have to have a conversation with her so that we can re-evaluate things together.

Thank you all, very much."

Personally, that's exactly what I would be like with a fwb, I'm affectionate, tactile, I would want to hold hands, give them a kiss if we were out in public, and I'm always buying friends silly little gifts, that's my language of love. But there is the line, and I can switch off, it's not a "relationship" you don't have to consider them when making life decisions or let them know your every move... That to me, is the difference.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I kinda disagree with many on this thread. I think FWB should definitely involve friendship things, so meeting up non-sexually for dinner etc is absolutely fine. I’d also expect to kiss my FWBs as that’s part of the “benefits”. Gifts and hand holding in public… yeah I can see that being more romantic. That said, I buy my friends gifts.

Finally, feelings can always happen but that doesn’t mean either party has to actually act on them. "

Thank you. I think I am more naturally attuned to your interpretation of what a FWB is. Just need to keep a lid on saying/doing anything that might be considered 'traditional relationship' stuff. Would I buy her a valentines card or a bunch of flowers? No. Would I buy her tickets to go and see her favourite comedian? Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts."

The key thing here is, she isn't comfortable with what you're doing. She wants a relationship and you want a relationship, without having to commit. And you know what this is doing to her, because SHE'S TOLD YOU!

Either knuckle up and have a relationship, or let her find someone worth her attention. IE, not you.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Awwww, you sound lovely OP. I think with anyone who see on a regular basis, especially on here, you have to set the boundaries from the get go.

I'd love all that romantic stuff, but I'm able to switch off in between meeting up. "

I am still fairly new to all this. I am acutely aware that I have decades of monogamous thinking to reverse! Perhaps in time I'll be able to switch off (certain bits) as well.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I think some people can see that as being romantic rather than thoughtful or considerate and become wary if they are not looking for romance.

I am not sure if that’s what the OPs point was but that’s what I got from it.

That is exactly my point.

Have now done a bit of reading on FWB relationships and have discovered two key things that I/we are not doing right:

1. 'romantic gestures' are often absent/avoided in a FWB as they can create/cause complications via conflicting emotions.

2. Changing or new feelings that surface have to be discussed, even if there is potential for either party to become hurt.

I'll have to have a conversation with her so that we can re-evaluate things together.

Thank you all, very much.

I totally agree with your line:

"it's not a "relationship" you don't have to consider them when making life decisions or let them know your every move... That to me, is the difference."

We have had a couple of enjoyable weekend away together but I have drawn the line at going camping, which she was a little disappointed about. I enjoy making people happy, but I draw the line at making myself miserable in the process!!

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

[Removed by poster at 26/07/21 22:08:12]

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"The key thing here is, she isn't comfortable with what you're doing. She wants a relationship and you want a relationship, without having to commit. And you know what this is doing to her, because SHE'S TOLD YOU!

Either knuckle up and have a relationship, or let her find someone worth her attention. IE, not you."

Thank you for your perspective. As I have said, I am comparatively new to all of this (having only ever been in exclusive monogamous relationships my whole life) and I'm having to learn as I go along while working out my own feelings about things and consider others as best I can. I am not blessed with a high degree of emotional intelligence unfortunately, but I am prepared to work on it.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Why are you scared of monogamy ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts."

This happened to me on here a few years ago. I met someone on here, he said he didn't want a monogamous relationship yet he gave me mixed messages. We still saw each, a lot and as the months went by we ended up in a relationship. Eleven months later he hurt me terribly and broke up with me. It was totally unexpected and very painful. It took me a long time to get over him and move on. Moral of the story, whatever happens just don't hurt her OP x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Sorry but it does sound like mixed messages. These are things you do in a relationship rather than things FWBs generally do! "

You mean a monogamous relationship ?

Sounds like she’s not poly OP more just into an open sex relationship but you’re fine with feelings for multiple people so are poly. Tough one, going back can be quite messy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either knuckle up and have a relationship, or let her find someone worth her attention. IE, not you.

Unless you're new to human interaction, that excise just doesn't cut it. Nor does the less than subtle virtue signalling of your sensitivity. If you were half as sensitive and thoughtful as you're trying to protest, you wouldn't have started this post and would have let the poor girl go already.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"So maybe I need to look at what a FWB actually is and not what I think it is!"

Yup.

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

People that know me REALLY well (of which they're aren't many) would tell you that I'd happily break someone's legs if they pissed me off enough but I would NEVER intentionally hurt anyone's feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

Obviously I don't know you but my ex said he didn't want hurt my feelings either but he did

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By *ad_Bod_Todd OP Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

Obviously I don't know you but my ex said he didn't want hurt my feelings either but he did

I'm sorry to hear that you were badly hurt, and I hope that this isn't stirring things up for you. I really appreciate your opinion, input and advice.

Could you give me an idea of the sort of mixed messages you experienced?

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

Similar situation here, except even tho he's on here we actually met on a dating site. I told him from the start I wanted to date him. He told me that he wasn't sleeping with or seeing other people. We saw each other from September to beginning of June. Almost 9mths of him lying to me and obviously sleeping around with others, as I literally found out about 3/4wks ago when he showed his veri's off that he'd been sleeping with others the whole time, and he knew I'd been badly hurt and he knew I was trusting him with my sexual health. I feel used and very very hurt, so yes, just don't hurt her, as its really awful when someone does it.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

That's a confusing statement. You've said that the way you're acting with your FWB is confusing her and she sees this behaviour as mixed messages. If you really do care and want to take her feelings into account, either stop the behaviour she doesn't like, or make way for her to move on. Surely these would both make her happier?

I'm sure it's just how some of the posts come across, but it would be easy to see this as virtue signalling gone wrong. If you genuinely want to do what's best for your FWB, you've had several very similar bits of advice already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sure the hypothetical person you viciously physically attacked would be glad to know you didn’t want to hurt their feelings...as they are dealing with a terrible injury and likely emotional damage. You sound awesome, I feel sorry for your FWB

Tabitha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

What a DIIIIICK of a “man”….. sorry to make it simple, but yeah.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

What a DIIIIICK of a “man”….. sorry to make it simple, but yeah. "

I would call him a cunt tbh. I’ve had something similar happen to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

What a DIIIIICK of a “man”….. sorry to make it simple, but yeah.

I would call him a cunt tbh. I’ve had something similar happen to me

Same here, it was so painful. He ran back to his ex Mrs in the end …

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I don’t do fuck buddies or FWB for this reason lol.

I just don’t see the point in it.

I have friends in the “real world” so why get close to a guy who doesn’t want the same things?

It’s so easy to get caught up in things and I think if your the type to want a relationship it’s hard to understand that they don’t, when in your opinion they are acting like they do! (Even if not intentional).

I think it’s just communication and trusting your gut, if you think she’s getting feelings then end it before it really hurts! Even if it’s still benefitting you. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im new to this too, and approach FWB's like this if they are affectionate types too, however it is definitely a fine line that needs to be clear, and tread with sensitivity.

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

What a DIIIIICK of a “man”….. sorry to make it simple, but yeah.

I would call him a cunt tbh. I’ve had something similar happen to me

Same here, it was so painful. He ran back to his ex Mrs in the end …

We deserve better ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t do fuck buddies or FWB for this reason lol.

I just don’t see the point in it.

I have friends in the “real world” so why get close to a guy who doesn’t want the same things?

I think it’s just communication and trusting your gut, if you think she’s getting feelings then end it before it really hurts! Even if it’s still benefitting you. x"

Exactly, it can be such a slippery slope and it’s so freaking confusing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

What a DIIIIICK of a “man”….. sorry to make it simple, but yeah.

I would call him a cunt tbh. I’ve had something similar happen to me

Same here, it was so painful. He ran back to his ex Mrs in the end …

We deserve better ladies

Amen to that

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

What a DIIIIICK of a “man”….. sorry to make it simple, but yeah.

I would call him a cunt tbh. I’ve had something similar happen to me

Same here, it was so painful. He ran back to his ex Mrs in the end …

We deserve better ladies

Amen to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I'm comparatively new to the scene. I've only really been active for a few months. I've been lucky enough to have had a few meets with a couple of different ladies.

Should I be adjusting who I am to my FWB? i.e. stop being romantic (if I can!)? I like making her smile and seeing her happy, just as I like making any of my friends happy.

Grateful for your thoughts.

I'm so sorry you went through this, I can totally relate though.

It's even worse as he's the only person I've felt for since I was 17

I'm sorry this happened to you too. The whole situation that happened with my ex has made me very wary of meeting anyone on here. Unfortunately I've had to take certain steps against him and obviously I don't want to say too much on here about it. Every now and again I get very nasty and threatening messages but I am using them to my advantage. He doesn't realise he's digging himself a hole by sending me these but I count myself lucky that I'm in a better position now (even though he broke my heart) than he is as he's just messed up. Doesn't help he's a self-serving narcissist who'll do anything to get what he wants. At least I know the signs now. Us women know that these kind of men are ex's for a reason and we get through it. Stay safe and take care x

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