FabSwingers.com forum: Anxiety

By *anux1024 OP Man
over a year ago

Warrington

Anyone with anxiety on here? How do you fit in on this site, how do you cope? I am always doing my best and get rejected all the time which doesn't help as self esteem gets lower, no confidence etc.

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By *exy wife and her CuckCouple
over a year ago

Angus

If rejection knocks your confidence/triggers anxiety it would probably be best just to leave the site and concentrate on keeping your mental health ship shape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If rejection knocks your confidence/triggers anxiety it would probably be best just to leave the site and concentrate on keeping your mental health ship shape. "

Agree

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By *edantic SheilaWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"If rejection knocks your confidence/triggers anxiety it would probably be best just to leave the site and concentrate on keeping your mental health ship shape. "
Hear hear ! ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If rejection knocks your confidence/triggers anxiety it would probably be best just to leave the site and concentrate on keeping your mental health ship shape. "

100% this as swinging is a rejection game specialy for men as there are sooooooo many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most anxiety is actually insecurities and lacking belief in yourself.

But ill say this ive been fat and thin. Shy and bold. Its difficult to find yourself but youve just gotta take a deep breathe, a big stride and just do you and love yoursef.

Be selfish and smile even when your sad cause it automatically release feel good hormones. Try to wake up and be determined and be the best version of you.

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By *anux1024 OP Man
over a year ago

Warrington

"I think most anxiety is actually insecurities and lacking belief in yourself.

But ill say this ive been fat and thin. Shy and bold. Its difficult to find yourself but youve just gotta take a deep breathe, a big stride and just do you and love yoursef.

Be selfish and smile even when your sad cause it automatically release feel good hormones. Try to wake up and be determined and be the best version of you.

Thanks for some good advice mate, appreciate

Also had some good supportive messages in private, shows there is more ppl like me here.

If your best advice is to leave then maybe save yourself some time writing it. If we followed that advice then might as well resign from everything in life instead of confronting problems trying to improve, just be better. Might as well commit suicide lol. Only if ppl were more supportive, understanding instead of being keyboard warriors.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Been on Fab as a single man. You need to be in the right place for this site. Personally I'm a bit of an odd ball and being a bit on the spectrum socialising hasn't always been easy. So I understand social anxiety and nerves. A cycle of rejection is not going to help when your in the wrong place. And this is where the site can be damaging to your mental health.

You really need to be in a place of being comfortable in your own skin and confident in your self for Fab. Not an arrogant confidences, more a place of being self assured and self love. It'll still be tough as a single guy,the stats tell us that. But when your in the right place Fab can be a place of growth and self awareness rather than something damaging to our mental health.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

"I think most anxiety is actually insecurities and lacking belief in yourself.

But ill say this ive been fat and thin. Shy and bold. Its difficult to find yourself but youve just gotta take a deep breathe, a big stride and just do you and love yoursef.

Be selfish and smile even when your sad cause it automatically release feel good hormones. Try to wake up and be determined and be the best version of you.

Thanks for some good advice mate, appreciate

Also had some good supportive messages in private, shows there is more ppl like me here.

What other advice were you expecting?

The simple answer is that if you can't cope with rejection then this isn't the place for you.

Having suffered the same way, there are other places better equipped to help with your anxieties and insecurity.

The rejection will always be here, so the only way is to learn how to cope it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My anxiety triggers are, thankfully, away from Fab

My self confidence fades in & out, it's never a constant

I am, however, confident

I believe you can be confident, even when your self confidence is waning

The ability to separate self worth and sexual attractiveness is key

The two aren't intrinsically linked, yet so many use attraction as a measure of self worth

It isn't

You are good

You are worthy

You are enough

Getting a leg over from here is superfluous to real life

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By *stl00k1ngMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Not keen on the leave advice.

This community will be at its best if there is a broad spectrum of personality types (someone for everyone). Maybe a more inclusive environment would mean that more people stick around?

As a single guy, the dice is definetly not loaded in your favour. Maybe try to make sure that fab's not occupying too much of your time, and remember that the rejections really aren't personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone with anxiety on here? How do you fit in on this site, how do you cope? I am always doing my best and get rejected all the time which doesn't help as self esteem gets lower, no confidence etc."

Maybe another (dare I say it) site would be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have social anxiety. I'm quite shy in person and struggle with overthinking everything I say, I lack confidence too.

What does being rejected make you think about yourself? Do you look in the mirror and like what you see? If not why not and what can you do to fix that?

Personally I lack confidence because I'm quite skinny and I don't feel like I look good enough. The only way I can change that is by improving myself by gaining weight and going to the gym, which has helped me a lot in feeling more confident and better about myself.

I wouldn't worry about being rejected, there's a considerable amount of "competition" on here so you're going to get rejected a lot; you've got better chances of meeting someone on a night out

As cliché as it sounds; be yourself and try not to overthink too much, aim to improve yourself mentally and physically then confidence will come from that

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

The rejection is a feature of Fab messaging for all the stated reasons. It is therefore imperative not to let it get you down OP and to find other ways of meeting women in the lifestyle who appeal to you. Group socials in pubs will start again soon and they are really the best way of meeting people. Chatting about fab is a frequent topic at such events . The odds are being successful will increase considerable.You may meet someone to go to clubs with as a small group too .

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I find fab is really bad for anxiety and self esteem issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've struggled long term with anxiety. Happy to discuss it all with you if you direct message me.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Maybe instead of trying to engage with folks with messages where the rejection rate is fairly high, try an organised social meet, they tend to be more like a night out in the pub with friends, your real character will be on show and should be less daunting.

Give in at whirl. Nothing ventured and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a meat market mate - if it makes you anxious leave it.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

[Removed by poster at 05/07/21 08:00:52]

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By *elethWoman
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I think most anxiety is actually insecurities and lacking belief in yourself.

But ill say this ive been fat and thin. Shy and bold. Its difficult to find yourself but youve just gotta take a deep breathe, a big stride and just do you and love yoursef.

Be selfish and smile even when your sad cause it automatically release feel good hormones. Try to wake up and be determined and be the best version of you.

Thanks for some good advice mate, appreciate

Also had some good supportive messages in private, shows there is more ppl like me here.

I didn't interpret the advice to leave as being unsupportive, nor from keyboard warriors, precisely the reverse in fact. You asked for advice, they gave what I would consider good advice, focussing on yourself and your mental well-being, doing work on yourself to improve your confidence and reduce your anxiety. Nothing precludes you returning when you're feeling more robust. I'd seriously consider leaving the site if I were you. At the same time, if you really don't want to, others have offered good advice on how you might manage staying. Whatever you choose, I wish you the very best of luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have generalised anxiety disorder and have just taken a break from here to focus on myself, its probably not the best place to be if your struggling at the minute but its like everything in life, its both positive and negative. In the past ive had both on here including meeting some really nice people but this time it seems more difficult than ever but im focusing on the good times ive had and telling myself the one thing thats important for all of us " I AM ENOUGH "

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

"It's a meat market mate - if it makes you anxious leave it. "

Is that how you see the women on here??

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

This is a brutal place brutal...

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

"This is a brutal place brutal...

We find it is a great place for decent people.

Way too many people ignoring profiles, and way too many people thinking that this site is an instant free fuck site. They are the ones who find it brutal.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Use and invest your time wisely. There are strategies that will improve your chances here - the forum has lots of posts on how to optimise your experience and results. Some prevention is better than cure

I'd recommend not relying on fab as your near exclusive source of sexual partners and satisfaction. This should reduce the pressure that you load yourself with from using it. Any gains you get here will be a bonus.

The tips you'll find will include visiting socials and clubs, which will increase your contact with people above that of text exchanges. It will reduce social isolation from other users, as being an isolated user with persistent rejection or being ignored, isn't soul nourishing.

Otherwise, focus on your wider life and making that as fulfilling as possible. Exercise has proven ability to elevate mental health and well-being overall. By investing in your bigger life, you will have stronger reserves to be able to better cope.

But - don't expend your wellbeing by being on fab too much, otherwise you are back at square 1. Manage your time spent here and limit it, so that you stay away from getting to a worse place.

There are good approaches for management of anxiety overall, so take some time to investigate those. Exercise is 1 helpful tool to increase your resilience and away from a more anxious state.

The pandemic has knocked most people and reduced their social contact with others. Rebuilding yours generally should help to put you on a stronger footing. Increase your contact with people who are good for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have to have some stoicism on here. For women, fab is essentially online shopping. The moment they see something better no doubt they will stop chatting to you and move on

Once you accept that, you'll have a better time on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have generalised anxiety disorder and have just taken a break from here to focus on myself, its probably not the best place to be if your struggling at the minute but its like everything in life, its both positive and negative. In the past ive had both on here including meeting some really nice people but this time it seems more difficult than ever but im focusing on the good times ive had and telling myself the one thing thats important for all of us " I AM ENOUGH ""

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By *ightmovesTV/TS
over a year ago

Ipswich

I used to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. There are ways of helping reduce this...mental exercises that worked for me. Your local GP would help with this.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"If rejection knocks your confidence/triggers anxiety it would probably be best just to leave the site and concentrate on keeping your mental health ship shape. "

Totally agree with this and should avoid things that creates anxiety so many you need to take a break and concentrate on your health and well-being so your able to understand better how to deal with rejection no body is owed anything but grateful for those who people end up connecting with.

Hope you feel better soon.

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By *urrey Dave 69Man
over a year ago

Epsom, Surrey

If you are not able to take advice given then why don't you save yourself some time by asking questions and then attacking those who give you an answer.

If an activity makes someone unhappy or can damage their mental health then I believe avoiding that activity is a valid solution. You shouldn't put people down for making a valid suggestion. The suggested solution may not be suitable for you and you decide not to take that approach but it still is an option that may suit others and your reaction to folks trying to help you does you no favours.

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By *hesecretdocMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

[Removed by poster at 06/07/21 07:27:36]

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By *hesecretdocMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Not keen on the leave advice.

This community will be at its best if there is a broad spectrum of personality types (someone for everyone). Maybe a more inclusive environment would mean that more people stick around?

As a single guy, the dice is definetly not loaded in your favour. Maybe try to make sure that fab's not occupying too much of your time, and remember that the rejections really aren't personal. "

Here here!

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By *oyeur for youMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

Fab is skin deep.its about who turns you on.not how nice you are. It's about who you fancy. Don't take it personally. I'm of a large build and I like ladys of the same.we are all different.

Good luck and stay safe

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"I think most anxiety is actually insecurities and lacking belief in yourself.

But ill say this ive been fat and thin. Shy and bold. Its difficult to find yourself but youve just gotta take a deep breathe, a big stride and just do you and love yoursef.

Be selfish and smile even when your sad cause it automatically release feel good hormones. Try to wake up and be determined and be the best version of you.

Thanks for some good advice mate, appreciate

Also had some good supportive messages in private, shows there is more ppl like me here.

I don’t think the attitude of “Might aswell commit suicide lol” is really very acceptable tbh.

I don’t think removing yourself from potentially very triggering situations until either your mental health is in a better place or you have a plan on how to deal with it is bad advice.

I think being turned down day in day out can be challenging enough for anyone and half the time it’d not even personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging is rejection or at least a very big part op i dont know what the real % is but it feels like one woman to every 100 guys so thats a lot of rejection ..

i think in this day n age the only way for most guys to get somewhere is to pop along to a club or social ..get yourself seen and known then you'll gain a better understanding of what and how swinging works bearing in mind we are all different

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