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I'm at a complete loss ??

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings

Hi guys and girls

Sorry you've probably see it a 100 time all ready but I'm at a complete loss on What to do next I'm just not having any luck Here I'm a respectful guy i only message girls when ive read there profile and think that we would get on etc.

Am I a Ugly freak or is it because

i don't look like a Ken doll or is it something Else????

Any advice would be greatly appreciated??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a look. I would maybe become a site supporter? Get on the forums and chats. It difficult for men on here you need to stand out from the rest and be patient. Maybe a club or something would help? Good luck

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Maybe don't mention Ken doll as some people won't know what it is.

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"Had a look. I would maybe become a site supporter? Get on the forums and chats. It difficult for men on here you need to stand out from the rest and be patient. Maybe a club or something would help? Good luck "

Yea that was going to be my next step becoming a site supporter. Thats a good idea I'll give it a go. Yes I have see it's very hard for men on here but They don't make it easy for themselves by sending every single female Dick pic So you get tarnished with some brush even if you're not that type of guy. I am new to this scene so maybe I just need to get myself out there a bit more.

I really appreciate your advice thank you ??

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"Maybe don't mention Ken doll as some people won't know what it is. "

Thats a fair point I didn't think of that Maybe I will word in a different way

I appreciate your advice thank you.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

It is very difficult and quite disheartening for most of single men on here, unfortunately. If I knew the magic formula, I would use it on my partner first (sorry!), even though he already had more luck on Fab than most (as he met me, which he keeps forgetting).

We are still in this strange period when a lot of people don't feel comfortable enough yet to start socialising with others. And because they are not comfortable with socialising, they may choose not to engage with any conversations on Fab yet.

OP, be prepared for a lot of rejection and a lot of heartache, but you never know, one day you might be rewarded for your hard work and patience.

In the meantime, get engaged on the forums, show people that you're not just here for a quick wank and that you actually can put a few words together.

Get some different photos. It's great you have your face in public, but I'd lose the photo with the cap as it does not show you in the best light.

Get yourself to organised socials and clubs once they reopen. Be prepared for a lot of legwork. But as I said, you never know, one day your breakthrough might come.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had a look. I would maybe become a site supporter? Get on the forums and chats. It difficult for men on here you need to stand out from the rest and be patient. Maybe a club or something would help? Good luck

Yea that was going to be my next step becoming a site supporter. Thats a good idea I'll give it a go. Yes I have see it's very hard for men on here but They don't make it easy for themselves by sending every single female Dick pic So you get tarnished with some brush even if you're not that type of guy. I am new to this scene so maybe I just need to get myself out there a bit more.

I really appreciate your advice thank you ??"

First things first, don't get dragged into the whole blaming others for your lack of progress trap. What other men do on here is irrelevant. You have no control or influence over what others do, so get it out if your head.

It just comes across as whinning abd a sense of entitlement.

The only person who can affect how well you fo here is you, so focus on you.

When you send a message, the recipient will always check out your prifile before they consider reading it, so you need to be sure it's the best it can be.

When I first started using fab, around 8 years ago, ut would take around 6 months, on average, for a single man to get their first meet. Since then, it's gone up to around 9 months to a year. And that was when we didn't have a global pandemic forbidding us from meeting.

You should also think about what your expectations are if this site.

When you joined, were you under the impression it was dial-a-shag?

Fab is just like the real world. Not only do you need to find someone attractive but they also need to find you attractive.

The good people of fab are not here to sleep with everybody. Everyobe is here for their own enjoyment. It takes time to get to know how it all works. People need time to get familiar with you.

The more you worry about ut, the less likely it'll happen

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend

In here it is always hard for single guys, you need to think of your profile as a sales ad, you need to sell yourself so to speak include good quality pics of not just your face but full body aswell, these don't have to be naked and avoid too many cock pics 1 is enough in public pics I think (no remotes or beer cans for size comparison lol) I have found getting involved on the forums brings more views aswell, the next thing is socials and clubs so you get yourself out there chatting to people.

Don't get disheartened if you don't get replies as women on here are often swamped with messages and can take days to get through them (don't send loads of messages if they don't reply straight away) I have had replies to messages I sent a week or so before hand. Hope that helps fella

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"It is very difficult and quite disheartening for most of single men on here, unfortunately. If I knew the magic formula, I would use it on my partner first (sorry!), even though he already had more luck on Fab than most (as he met me, which he keeps forgetting).

We are still in this strange period when a lot of people don't feel comfortable enough yet to start socialising with others. And because they are not comfortable with socialising, they may choose not to engage with any conversations on Fab yet.

OP, be prepared for a lot of rejection and a lot of heartache, but you never know, one day you might be rewarded for your hard work and patience.

In the meantime, get engaged on the forums, show people that you're not just here for a quick wank and that you actually can put a few words together.

Get some different photos. It's great you have your face in public, but I'd lose the photo with the cap as it does not show you in the best light.

Get yourself to organised socials and clubs once they reopen. Be prepared for a lot of legwork. But as I said, you never know, one day your breakthrough might come. "

Yea it would be nice if there was a magic potion that existed haha I definitely don't expect it just to fall on my lap I have to put in work to engage with people on the site.

I really appreciate your Advise thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice would be to concentrate on the forums, I joined this site in August and got disheartened very quickly by the lack of response, so I came onto the forums and now I chat to a few women now because I take part in the forums.. takes time and effort op

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"Had a look. I would maybe become a site supporter? Get on the forums and chats. It difficult for men on here you need to stand out from the rest and be patient. Maybe a club or something would help? Good luck

Yea that was going to be my next step becoming a site supporter. Thats a good idea I'll give it a go. Yes I have see it's very hard for men on here but They don't make it easy for themselves by sending every single female Dick pic So you get tarnished with some brush even if you're not that type of guy. I am new to this scene so maybe I just need to get myself out there a bit more.

I really appreciate your advice thank you ??

First things first, don't get dragged into the whole blaming others for your lack of progress trap. What other men do on here is irrelevant. You have no control or influence over what others do, so get it out if your head.

It just comes across as whinning abd a sense of entitlement.

The only person who can affect how well you fo here is you, so focus on you.

When you send a message, the recipient will always check out your prifile before they consider reading it, so you need to be sure it's the best it can be.

When I first started using fab, around 8 years ago, ut would take around 6 months, on average, for a single man to get their first meet. Since then, it's gone up to around 9 months to a year. And that was when we didn't have a global pandemic forbidding us from meeting.

You should also think about what your expectations are if this site.

When you joined, were you under the impression it was dial-a-shag?

Fab is just like the real world. Not only do you need to find someone attractive but they also need to find you attractive.

The good people of fab are not here to sleep with everybody. Everyobe is here for their own enjoyment. It takes time to get to know how it all works. People need time to get familiar with you.

The more you worry about ut, the less likely it'll happen"

Some very fair points there i appreciate the advice.

P.s I signed up cause I wanted to meet new people and have new experiences not to dial and shag.?????

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By *onkyLemonsCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Hey OP,

Everyone is different (obviously) and one approach that is successful with one person, will not necessarily be successful with another person.

It’s what makes interaction and “the chase” part interesting. It’d be boring as hell if we all just did exactly the same thing in the same way and got the exact same result.

So our advice would be to figure out your own “unique selling points” and the advertise those. Inject a little bit of your own personality in to your messages and profile and put it out there.

Just like in normal life, relationships and friendships takes time to develop. You won’t ever be able to connect and click with everyone - just keep on doing what you’re doing and be patient with it!

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"In here it is always hard for single guys, you need to think of your profile as a sales ad, you need to sell yourself so to speak include good quality pics of not just your face but full body aswell, these don't have to be naked and avoid too many cock pics 1 is enough in public pics I think (no remotes or beer cans for size comparison lol) I have found getting involved on the forums brings more views aswell, the next thing is socials and clubs so you get yourself out there chatting to people.

Don't get disheartened if you don't get replies as women on here are often swamped with messages and can take days to get through them (don't send loads of messages if they don't reply straight away) I have had replies to messages I sent a week or so before hand. Hope that helps fella"

I totally get what you mean about selling myself and better picture I will ever have a dick pic on profile not needed in my opinion.

I really appreciate your advice thank you bud ??

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend


"

I totally get what you mean about selling myself and better picture I will ever have a dick pic on profile not needed in my opinion.

I really appreciate your advice thank you bud ??"

Not a problem good luck and happy fabbing

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"My advice would be to concentrate on the forums, I joined this site in August and got disheartened very quickly by the lack of response, so I came onto the forums and now I chat to a few women now because I take part in the forums.. takes time and effort op "

Fair play Its one of the parts of the site Ive not really look at yet so I will jumping and Engaging with people more. I really appreciate your Advise thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it comes down to the love word. If you love her, knock things on the head here for a bit. This is a scene that can get addictive and needs either a solo mindset or a couple mindset I think. Have a chat with her and as someone said try a counsellor. Maybe on your own at first and it WILL help. She may want to join or not. That’s up to her, but you will benefit I am sure and it will seem clearer. Hope it goes well

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings


"Hey OP,

Everyone is different (obviously) and one approach that is successful with one person, will not necessarily be successful with another person.

It’s what makes interaction and “the chase” part interesting. It’d be boring as hell if we all just did exactly the same thing in the same way and got the exact same result.

So our advice would be to figure out your own “unique selling points” and the advertise those. Inject a little bit of your own personality in to your messages and profile and put it out there.

Just like in normal life, relationships and friendships takes time to develop. You won’t ever be able to connect and click with everyone - just keep on doing what you’re doing and be patient with it!

"

That is some really Solid Advise thank you I appreciate it ??

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Had a look. I would maybe become a site supporter? Get on the forums and chats. It difficult for men on here you need to stand out from the rest and be patient. Maybe a club or something would help? Good luck

Yea that was going to be my next step becoming a site supporter. Thats a good idea I'll give it a go. Yes I have see it's very hard for men on here but They don't make it easy for themselves by sending every single female Dick pic So you get tarnished with some brush even if you're not that type of guy. I am new to this scene so maybe I just need to get myself out there a bit more.

I really appreciate your advice thank you ??

First things first, don't get dragged into the whole blaming others for your lack of progress trap. What other men do on here is irrelevant. You have no control or influence over what others do, so get it out if your head.

It just comes across as whinning abd a sense of entitlement.

The only person who can affect how well you fo here is you, so focus on you.

When you send a message, the recipient will always check out your prifile before they consider reading it, so you need to be sure it's the best it can be.

When I first started using fab, around 8 years ago, ut would take around 6 months, on average, for a single man to get their first meet. Since then, it's gone up to around 9 months to a year. And that was when we didn't have a global pandemic forbidding us from meeting.

You should also think about what your expectations are if this site.

When you joined, were you under the impression it was dial-a-shag?

Fab is just like the real world. Not only do you need to find someone attractive but they also need to find you attractive.

The good people of fab are not here to sleep with everybody. Everyobe is here for their own enjoyment. It takes time to get to know how it all works. People need time to get familiar with you.

The more you worry about ut, the less likely it'll happen"

This all day long. Whining about lack of interest is very off-putting. I always ask guys how they find the site. If they tell me they can't get a reply I tend to back off as I wonder are they actually interested in me or will they tell me anything to get in my knickers

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Men outnumber women here like 100 to 1

The odds are stacked against you

My honest advice would be to stop messaging people because it’s largely pointless

Get active on the forums and see who messages you from that

Work on your profile and your pictures and hope you take someone’s fancy and messages you

Start using tinder for arranging your own meets, it was more reliable than firing off messages on here

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

You've joined at the tail end of the pandemic where freedom isn't here yet.

Some people just aren't willing to spend time on building connections, meeting or even thinking about meets until the future is that little bit more certain.

I for one won't even entertain the idea or give anyone any inclination of a likely meet post summer as I don't want to waste anyone's time as I know I don't have time for endless chats

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

The simple fact is individuals think FAB is a knocking shop and instshag site. It is not!

FAB is a swinging community and resource site. That is its primary objective and all who come to the site should approach it that way.

Yes. There is a meets section. But is a small part of the swinging community.

When will people learn this realise this!!

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside


"Hi guys and girls

Sorry you've probably see it a 100 time all ready but I'm at a complete loss on What to do next I'm just not having any luck Here I'm a respectful guy i only message girls when ive read there profile and think that we would get on etc.

Am I a Ugly freak or is it because

i don't look like a Ken doll or is it something Else????

Any advice would be greatly appreciated??"

Become a site supporter.

Try to put yourself about, it's difficult at present but plan for the future.

Socials are great way to start then maybe a club.

It takes time and effort but that what makes single guys stand out.

Personally, we see single guys at parties, clubs and gang bangs and they all seem to have one major feature, they make the effort to get known.

Just a profile on FAB won't cut it, sorry.

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn


"My advice would be to concentrate on the forums, I joined this site in August and got disheartened very quickly by the lack of response, so I came onto the forums and now I chat to a few women now because I take part in the forums.. takes time and effort op "

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Stop trying to have sex.

I’m actually deadly serious. Fab regulars see it as a community, and a much wider thing than the obvious. Become a part of that community - talk about your love of Dolly Parton and obscure Lithuanian death metal, reach out to the person who’s experienced the same challenging life situation as you, tell us your worst joke, talk endearingly entertaining drivel on every subject under the sun etc.

You’ll be surprised where that takes you, and any connections you make will be all the richer for it .

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Maybe don't mention Ken doll as some people won't know what it is. "

And some would want to fuck it

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington


"

When I first started using fab, around 8 years ago, ut would take around 6 months, on average, for a single man to get their first meet. Since then, it's gone up to around 9 months to a year. And that was when we didn't have a global pandemic forbidding us from meeting.

"

Where is this data from? Or is it just your perception from your own personal experience?

OP, yes the forums are good for chat, but only a very small percentage of site users use the forum.

Make sure you are clear what you want from this place and make sure your profile reflects that so people you message can see what yo are about.Its not a sure fire way of success on here, but there is nothing worse than reading a profile and thinking "and?" - bespoke messages too, to people you like the look of so they know its about them too, and not just you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it's worth reading some of the many posts like this from others OP, who're in the same situation.

Many are not yet meeting or have friends they're waiting to meet after waiting over a year. Others don't go to the front of the queue.

It always takes months for single men to get established. Supplement any action from here with that from the wider world.

Sell yourself. People need to be swayed that the people they may meet are worth it.

Vary your photos. Show your physique - it's what they would touch. Smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had a look. I would maybe become a site supporter? Get on the forums and chats. It difficult for men on here you need to stand out from the rest and be patient. Maybe a club or something would help? Good luck

Yea that was going to be my next step becoming a site supporter. Thats a good idea I'll give it a go. Yes I have see it's very hard for men on here but They don't make it easy for themselves by sending every single female Dick pic So you get tarnished with some brush even if you're not that type of guy. I am new to this scene so maybe I just need to get myself out there a bit more.

I really appreciate your advice thank you ??"

other men dont ruin it for you they ruin it for themselves ...your reasonable for you no one else...

the forums are a very tiny part of fab where the majority dont play ..

its a numbers game there are a couple hundred men to one women thats alot of choice then factor in attraction and turn ons / turn offs ie like you have facial hair 30% of women wont like that ...swinging is not free and on a plate its a lifestyle that if your a male is hard to get into .... so its not hard for guys its super super hard for guys..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

**responsible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, as someone people might refer to as 'successful' on here (I hate that inference personally) I can assure you that it's not easy or simple.

About 8 out of 10 messages you send will never get read, because the site is overloaded with men. Women are swamped, abused, and treated like crap on here.

You're bottom of the food chain as a single man, so you have to work at it, and you require a very thick skin because you'll be widely ignored (see above).

It's unfortunately very much a numbers game - there's someone for everyone, but try not to assume it's about 'you' as such. Everyone thinks they're a nice person, but attraction takes many many forms - and it's as much about timing as anything else.

You can send a message to someone that gets deleted - message them again a year later (don't hassle them every 20 minutes) and within a week you're cradled in each others arms. It happens, I assure you.

Patience, time, thick skin, you'll need them all.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

It probably goes without saying but not all swingers are meeting at the moment.

Given we've not even seen long distance friends in 18 months, swinging will be more for a time when we have caught up with everyone else first.

Expectations are also key, it would be good if the site gave new members an indication of what to expect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi guys and girls

Sorry you've probably see it a 100 time all ready but I'm at a complete loss on What to do next I'm just not having any luck Here I'm a respectful guy i only message girls when ive read there profile and think that we would get on etc.

Am I a Ugly freak or is it because

i don't look like a Ken doll or is it something Else????

Any advice would be greatly appreciated??"

I know how you feel I get ignored and abused and I read messages and quote things and I respect them and say nice stuff about the pictures it gets you down so I know how you feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/06/21 12:46:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/06/21 12:54:49]

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"Hi guys and girls

Sorry you've probably see it a 100 time all ready but I'm at a complete loss on What to do next I'm just not having any luck Here I'm a respectful guy i only message girls when ive read there profile and think that we would get on etc.

Am I a Ugly freak or is it because

i don't look like a Ken doll or is it something Else????

Any advice would be greatly appreciated??"

You are not ugly but try smiling in your pictures. I also would rather see more flesh on show as after all this is not Facebook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where is this data from? Or is it just your perception from your own personal experience?"

I think it is very much their own personal experience and the persons orientation definitely plays a major role, as does their location and many other factors.

As a gay guy I have no problems finding meets on here. I realise this will be much different for single straight men, but it certainly doesn't take 6 to 12 months for a lot of people.

I don't think you can accurately gauge that it takes 6, 9 or 12 months for a single man to find a meet, because there's no facility to track them and no quantifiable data other than a few forum posts complaining of a sex drought.

Discretion is very important on these sites, so a lot of people keep their activity private.

People will be meeting a lot more frequently, but because a lot of meets aren't registered on this site, it's impossible to monitor and assign any figures to.

Obviously there are men meeting women in much less time than that and some men who will never get a meet. Location, attraction, chemistry, putting your best self forward, activity, verifications and involvement are all crucial but if one is them is off, that's it for some people. I have an upper limit of 20 miles one way. That means a lot of potentially nice people get declined.

I'm lucky as a gay guy, it's much easier for me with all of the men on here. Most of my meets are with 'straight' or married guys.

They absolutely won't exchange verifications in most instances because they don't want to be seen to be meeting other men and that's perfectly fine with me, I enjoy my privacy and some discretion, I'd never kiss and tell and would only leave or publish a verification if they asked me to and were openly meeting men. A lot of straight men are meeting other men. Perhaps because of a shortage of women and willing couples, they're more prepared to experiment?

My experience is the opposite of what the other guy said. I treat this site as a sex site, because that's what it is. Swinging with a partner doesn't make it anything different, it still boils down to sex. You might meet up at socials now and then but the aim is to find people to enjoy sex with within or outside of your current relationship or to fulfil one partners fantasies. Yeah you might make some friends, but you can make friends through pure sex meets too. I've made many I'm still in touch with, even if we're not having sex anymore.

Everyone uses the site differently and everyone's success varies.

The reasons I joined this site are:

* I'm not into women, but I know that some women want to help their male partners to explore their bi sides and want to watch whilst they do so, and I'm not against helping out in that scenario.

* On that same thread, I'm interested in learning about and attending clubs and saunas with the aim of helping curious guys, if their female partners go off and has sex with another guy or couple and the male is free to experiment, I'd like to help out.

* I like the challenge of meeting nervous, first time, 'straight' men and the whole forbidden fruit thing is appealing.

* I know I'll be successful here because of how many curious men there are on here.

I've never had a message in response to my forum posts, and I'm quite active, but I get a lot of messages when I post a sex meet. So my experiences are the polar opposite to some guys in this thread.

One guy said something like 'when will people learn what this site is for' but he himself doesn't seem to fully understand just exactly how this site is used by many people, even if it's mostly underground. There isn't one single way. It's not just a swinging site, it's also a hookup site, the two are intertwined. Some guys even have profiles for looking for love!

Everyone's experiences of the site are different. Without any way of tracking meets or who meets who (if they're male or female etc.), there's no way to assign a timescale to it considering all of the factors that play a part, other than from personal experience. His experience might be 6 to 12 months. Mine is less than a week between meets.

I've seen local straight guys who regularly get new verifications (that read as recent meets in the details).

---

To the OP, your profile is fine in terms of what I and others would be looking for, so don't take this as criticism but women and couples are a lot more discerning and have a lot more profiles to sift through.

My advice, for what it's worth being a gay guy who knows nothing about women, would be:

* Add some different pictures. I think you look nice, but all of your pics being of the same angle and spacing might not catch someone's eyes. Upload a mix of different shots and angles, including some full length ones. Give people a sense of how you dress and what you look like as a whole. You mention you're curvy, you might not be comfortable with full length pics, but if you are a lot of people prefer that type of guy and would prefer to see the complete you. Perhaps some outdoors shots of you enjoying yourself?

* Spruce up your profile a little. It's a bit short. Women and couples tend to need to see things that will interest them and intrigue them. Short bios seem to be frowned upon, so flesh it out. The short bullet points might put them off and it might be better to put things like your name and age into one line or paragraph that's written slightly better and just like neat.

* Proofread your bio and correct the erroneous capital letters.

* Add some hobbies, maybe even some things you're looking for in a friend, sex meet or swinging experience.

* You shouldn't include things about your weight. Weight isn't an issue for me personally and in an ideal world it wouldn't be a factor, but it is to many people. The way you've phrased it comes across as a little insecure and whilst that's not a bad thing in my eyes, some women and couples will smell that insecurity a mile away and rule you out based purely on that and that alone. I suppose that could be a good thing, because you might not want to meet people who judge purely based on that fact. There's a few on the forums who have posted that if they read any self deprecation or insecurity in a guy, they won't reply. Confidence seems to be a very important thing to many. You might be building your confidence, but don't publicly self deprecate. I think just selecting that you're curvy is sufficient.

I hope that makes sense and in no way sounds nasty to anyone, that's not my intention.

Just keep in mind, as others have stated, that we're still in a precarious situation at the moment with Covid-19. Whilst a lot of people are meeting again, a lot aren't or are trying to build up their confidence again. Hopefully things will improve in the coming months.

* edited because of auto correct mistakes. I've probably still missed some! *

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By *oel99 OP   Man
over a year ago

Hastings

I really appreciate all the replies And all of the advice. Seems like a great community here thank you ??

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By *ustfortheforumsWoman
over a year ago

no

As people say to me be patient and some people just are not interested anymore, try meeting people at clubs when they reopen

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