FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for single men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Reasons why single guys don’t get a response from us.

1) clearly haven’t read.

2) if you have read then you haven’t made it obvious because you’ve scanned to the bottom to find ‘the word’

3) you haven’t come across respectfully

4) you address one of us (again, if you read the profile then you wouldn’t do that

5) you live miles away (experience tells us even if you live close, you’ll bottle it

6) you fail to realise that 99% of the couples profiles are operated by men. Act accordingly.

7) ‘hey’ is the just worst opener

8) actually make some effort on your first message, if you can’t be bothered to make effort, your sex is going to be shit.

9) ummmm you’re just not our type…!

10) NEVER EVER COPY AND PASTE! It’s so bleeding obvious and it’s an insult to think we don’t know this.

I feel like all single men should read and understand this before being given a profile.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I think they know this but for various reasons dont do it ...

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Single guys this advice is getting universal (trouble is the majority who need to read it probably don’t check out the forums)...

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1154144

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By *angbangFantasyWoman
over a year ago

London

"Single guys this advice is getting universal (trouble is the majority who need to read it probably don’t check out the forums)...

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1154144"

Yup, this.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Even better, let people find you!

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Thanks for the advice

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We reply to "hey" copy and paste messages and one liners. It's what's on their profile and the content of any follow up messages that's important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't try to be everything to everyone. 'Up for anything' just comes across as desperate.

Know what you like and what you're looking for.

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By *agan gentlemenMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Trouble is due to those who don't listen people both single fem and couples tar all with the same brush. And quite understand that to be honest

(though there is an elitest minority among the users these days that does leave a bitter taste)

Personality ir I reach out.And in all honesty in 10 years of this place that's been rare its generally to comment on a witty profile or status update addressed to both parties for a couple.and always a gentlemanly text no need for crass we are all "adults" (allegedly dley) i suppose in part as an ice breaker but with a rejoin profile having no veris and not going to look up all the ppl I met in the past who left a social meet veri ( never published any intimate stuff).. And job means for security reasons. I can't have public photos. That's about as far as it goes. And at the moment the world situation is still way to volitle to risk anything more than drinks at 20 paces. In a biohazard suit.:p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reasons why single guys don’t get a response from us.

1) clearly haven’t read.

2) if you have read then you haven’t made it obvious because you’ve scanned to the bottom to find ‘the word’

3) you haven’t come across respectfully

4) you address one of us (again, if you read the profile then you wouldn’t do that

5) you live miles away (experience tells us even if you live close, you’ll bottle it

6) you fail to realise that 99% of the couples profiles are operated by men. Act accordingly.

7) ‘hey’ is the just worst opener

8) actually make some effort on your first message, if you can’t be bothered to make effort, your sex is going to be shit.

9) ummmm you’re just not our type…!

10) NEVER EVER COPY AND PASTE! It’s so bleeding obvious and it’s an insult to think we don’t know this.

I feel like all single men should read and understand this before being given a profile. "

Its not just single men who do the things you mentioned above though. Plenty of couples send similar messages too, and some females occasionally. Also plenty of couples send messages where the man wants to meet without his partner.

So it's unfair to single single men in this way.

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I would also say if you don't get a response to a one word message or it is deleted do not send it again. One single guy sent me a message that just said "bareback" nothing else not even a hello so I deleted it, few days later he sent it again and it was deleted again he sent it again yesterday so I blocked him

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

1. Be hot

2. Don’t be not hot

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Reasons why single guys don’t get a response from us.

1) clearly haven’t read.

2) if you have read then you haven’t made it obvious because you’ve scanned to the bottom to find ‘the word’

3) you haven’t come across respectfully

4) you address one of us (again, if you read the profile then you wouldn’t do that

5) you live miles away (experience tells us even if you live close, you’ll bottle it

6) you fail to realise that 99% of the couples profiles are operated by men. Act accordingly.

7) ‘hey’ is the just worst opener

8) actually make some effort on your first message, if you can’t be bothered to make effort, your sex is going to be shit.

9) ummmm you’re just not our type…!

10) NEVER EVER COPY AND PASTE! It’s so bleeding obvious and it’s an insult to think we don’t know this.

I feel like all single men should read and understand this before being given a profile. "

I never understand why some people copy and paste even the smallest of messages, a few times I have been sent ' hey there guys,' looks in mirror and counts, nope definitely only one of me. Such a lack of effort should never be rewarded.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Reasons why single guys don’t get a response from us.

1) clearly haven’t read.

2) if you have read then you haven’t made it obvious because you’ve scanned to the bottom to find ‘the word’

3) you haven’t come across respectfully

4) you address one of us (again, if you read the profile then you wouldn’t do that

5) you live miles away (experience tells us even if you live close, you’ll bottle it

6) you fail to realise that 99% of the couples profiles are operated by men. Act accordingly.

7) ‘hey’ is the just worst opener

8) actually make some effort on your first message, if you can’t be bothered to make effort, your sex is going to be shit.

9) ummmm you’re just not our type…!

10) NEVER EVER COPY AND PASTE! It’s so bleeding obvious and it’s an insult to think we don’t know this.

I feel like all single men should read and understand this before being given a profile.

So it's unfair to single single men in this way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a lovely advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reasons why single guys don’t get a response from us.

1) clearly haven’t read.

2) if you have read then you haven’t made it obvious because you’ve scanned to the bottom to find ‘the word’

3) you haven’t come across respectfully

4) you address one of us (again, if you read the profile then you wouldn’t do that

5) you live miles away (experience tells us even if you live close, you’ll bottle it

6) you fail to realise that 99% of the couples profiles are operated by men. Act accordingly.

7) ‘hey’ is the just worst opener

8) actually make some effort on your first message, if you can’t be bothered to make effort, your sex is going to be shit.

9) ummmm you’re just not our type…!

10) NEVER EVER COPY AND PASTE! It’s so bleeding obvious and it’s an insult to think we don’t know this.

I feel like all single men should read and understand this before being given a profile.

So it's unfair to single single men in this way.

Absolutely this, the number who contacted me without reading my profile (if they had they'd not have contacted me) and also the guy wanting solo meets ('she will never find out') got so annoying I blocked couples from contacting me. Perhaps some couples should take their own advice. Yes, there are people on here who overstep the mark but it's not just single men. I'd advise anyone getting grief from a particular group of people to do as I did, block them from messaging and if single men is what you're looking for then do the first contact yourself, problem solved.

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

We'd add:

1) have a variety of photos on your profile, not just cock shots

2) if you are a single man, and meet as a single man, please don't have photos of your previous "conquests". As we are not going to get to meet them, we don't need to see how they look like, thank you.

3) if you have a gf/FB/FWB who would like to meet others with you, set up a couple's profile. Otherwise only very naive people would believe you the woman actually exists and wants to meet.

4) if a profile specifically states certain requirements (height, age, race etc) and you don't meet them, just move on. No need to message them saying you know you're not what they are looking for but you still decided to message in case they change their minds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WHATEVER!!! When will you learn the male mind is juvenile and gets excited very easily....so personally you should blame yourself if the guy didnt do any of the above....i mean if you didnt have such hot profile photos the guys may have time to let the blood hit their brains before they blurt out any message that comes to mind

so its your own fault...nah nah na nah nah

Obviously this is a joke....but experience tells me there is always one idiot who believes it isnt!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"We reply to "hey" copy and paste messages and one liners. It's what's on their profile and the content of any follow up messages that's important.

I don't. I am of the school that if they can't make an effort on the first message then they are either lazy or just not that into me.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"WHATEVER!!! When will you learn the male mind is juvenile and gets excited very easily....so personally you should blame yourself if the guy didnt do any of the above....i mean if you didnt have such hot profile photos the guys may have time to let the blood hit their brains before they blurt out any message that comes to mind

so its your own fault...nah nah na nah nah

Obviously this is a joke....but experience tells me there is always one idiot who believes it isnt! "

Is this name more fitting, inquiring mind would like to know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do couples feel the need to give advice? If that single guy needs advice then don't touch them with a barge pole

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

"Why do couples feel the need to give advice? If that single guy needs advice then don't touch them with a barge pole "

Because we are hopeful that it eventually gets to all single men here to treat others with respect they would like to be treated? And that this site is about so much more than just random hookups when they're horny.

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By *uck-Me-Hard-Scotland-M2MMan
over a year ago

Barnhill (Outside Dundee)

"Reasons why....don’t get a response from us.

1) clearly haven’t read.

Notwithstanding my profile name, I think, is an indicator of why I originally joined, I took the time to write up a blurb which also included alternatives.

Whilst I agree, like my stories in the Forum, it is lengthy.....I still get messages asking either or both of

Wot u in to

Can you accom

So it not restricted to those of the hetero tribe

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

How much of this also applies to single women and couples?

All are more than capable of ignoring profiles simply because they feel they don't have to make an effort and that any man should jump at the chance to meet them.

I don't send messages and don't get any from men but I've been told numerous times by couples that it's my loss when I draw their attention to the part of my profile that states clearly I don't meet without chatting.

I also disagree about 99% of couples profiles being run by men because in 4 years here the vast majority of couples who contact me are the woman messaging.

It's hilarious the number of people who complain about all the messages they get.

How about making the effort and taking control of your profile and who can contact you? That's what filters are for.

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By *rhugesMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don't think that is entirely true.

A couple gave me a wink ,we chatted and made arrangements for a provisional meet .

I messaged them during the week to ask if was still on ,they responded by apologizing and due to family issues would be away the weekend we were going to meet

I left it 3 or 4 days after the meet should have taken place and just asked if they would by any chance want to do another meet.

The message was read but no message sent back.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Or couples and women who complain so much about messages could use their filters block men and do searching themselves and actually send first messages for a change. Especially when it clearly seems to bug them so much they feel they need to school others on how to behave on here.

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"1. Be hot

2. Don’t be not hot "

I dunno, we had two guys who, frankly, looked amazing message us this evening.

I was gutted to realise they hadn't read the profile.

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By *oBeRodeMan
over a year ago

clifton ish

Basically, just don't do anything I do lol x

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Why do couples feel the need to give advice? If that single guy needs advice then don't touch them with a barge pole "

Did you need advice when you first joined, as hindsight is so wonderful?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Don’t give advice to competitors just to make yourself look good, comes across incongruent.

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By *adInLiverpoolMan
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"1. Be hot

2. Don’t be not hot "

Hahah so true, nothing that OP said really matters unless you’re good looking to the person you message.

I’m better off going the gym and getting “thick as fuck” like the guy I’m responding to, rather than carefully crafting the “perfect” message or approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do couples feel the need to give advice? If that single guy needs advice then don't touch them with a barge pole

Some of us don’t need advice on how to behave. Some or us are respectful, send well thought out messages after reading profiles, include face pictures. And what do we get pretty much 100% of the time? Unread, ignored and deleted. And often blocked. It’s not just single guys who can be rude and disrespectful. Now, where did I put my tin hat?

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