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How did you raise swinging with your SO?

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By *amesRobs1987 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton

I posted this in Swingers Chat but actually this is probably the right forum...

For the couples on here, how did you or your other half first raise opening up your relationship?

It's one of those cats that can't be put back in the bag once it's brought up.

"I want to sleep with other people."

"Erm, WHAT?!"

"Ha, aha. Kidding..."

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By *ubo1980Couple
over a year ago

armagh

My husband brought it up as a fantasy frequently, rather than actually saying I want to sleep with other people. I looked into it and opened up to the idea, now we’re here lol

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Early on in our relationship (over 25 years ago), my wife admitted she'd been was very bi curious and had having fantasies for years about having a FFM prior to meeting me. I never pushed the issue because I was 21, none to bright and never thought such a thing could happen to me. Months later when me moved in together she started talking about the fact she was having fantasies about me sleeping with another woman. Again, being non to bright I thought it was a test or something....the internet wasn't exactly something I used back then.

Anyway, one girls night out after one drink to many, she told her friend and the rest is history.

Been swinging on and off ever since.

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By *asterandGenieCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

We met on fab so it’s always been a thing with us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep brought it up on a few occasions. Unfortunately she's just not interested. Put it out there straight to her . Would she like another in our bed ,male , female, threesom,foursom, if its a no go. Then no go .

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By *amesRobs1987 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"We met on fab so it’s always been a thing with us "

Aha yeah, can't really go wrong if you're finding your other half on here can you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend told my hubby about FAB, we thought we'd take a look then started talking about fantasy's. Then went to Pleasures and the rest is history

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been talking about swinging on and off for a while. Mr was in new York for business and we were sexting etc. Decided to go for it.

A friend directed us here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met 5 years ago at a fetish social so many very open discussions even before we started our relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met her on here so the discussion part was already in the bag

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

Was watching porn with wife and we talked about some of our previous sexual experiences,we started talking about swapping , started social meets with fondling , then a soft swap meet .she then got turned on by one of the doormen at a social meet . We went back to the swinging party where he fucked her brains out , have never looked back , she discovered her bi side and now we have all sorts solo mfm group

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The next girlfriend i have a want us to be in a open relationship so we can enjoy other people and MMF etc so hopeing i can meet her on here to save the awkward convetsation. Brought it up with a new girlfriend years ago after a few weeks as dont like to string along and she was dead against it and i was dumped on the spot. Pretty harsh considering i was being honest and only asking her thoughts but sadly thats the risk you take when asking a partner about swinging and is the reason many wont bring it up as they dont want to get dumped like i did. Sad times in 2021 when you are judged by a partner for asking a question or thier thoughts on the subject etc.

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple
over a year ago

Chippenham

Ours started out with bedroom talk that we decided needed to be experienced. Life's too short and all that. It took a while before we found out where our boundaries lie, but has been fun and we now know exactly where we want to be.

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By *redtheceltMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

Lucky couple!

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

We spoke about it then found swingers heaven and the chat rooms. Next minute we’re naked with a guy on cam. Never looked back!

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By *amesRobs1987 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Pretty harsh considering i was being honest and only asking her thoughts but sadly thats the risk you take when asking a partner about swinging and is the reason many wont bring it up as they dont want to get dumped like i did."

Exactly

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"The next girlfriend i have a want us to be in a open relationship so we can enjoy other people and MMF etc so hopeing i can meet her on here to save the awkward convetsation. Brought it up with a new girlfriend years ago after a few weeks as dont like to string along and she was dead against it and i was dumped on the spot. Pretty harsh considering i was being honest and only asking her thoughts but sadly thats the risk you take when asking a partner about swinging and is the reason many wont bring it up as they dont want to get dumped like i did. Sad times in 2021 when you are judged by a partner for asking a question or thier thoughts on the subject etc. "

There is two sides to this story.

You're complaining you where judged after a couple of weeks but where you?

Just playing devils advocate here, She may have realised that was something you wanted in a relationship and it was not something she was willing to ever do so why continue with the relationship? Better to nip it in the bud there and then.

Being completely unbiased here, theres a difference between the subject being brought up between someone you are romantically involved with vs someone you've been on a few dates with.

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By *amesRobs1987 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"The next girlfriend i have a want us to be in a open relationship so we can enjoy other people and MMF etc so hopeing i can meet her on here to save the awkward convetsation. Brought it up with a new girlfriend years ago after a few weeks as dont like to string along and she was dead against it and i was dumped on the spot. Pretty harsh considering i was being honest and only asking her thoughts but sadly thats the risk you take when asking a partner about swinging and is the reason many wont bring it up as they dont want to get dumped like i did. Sad times in 2021 when you are judged by a partner for asking a question or thier thoughts on the subject etc.

There is two sides to this story.

You're complaining you where judged after a couple of weeks but where you?

Just playing devils advocate here, She may have realised that was something you wanted in a relationship and it was not something she was willing to ever do so why continue with the relationship? Better to nip it in the bud there and then.

Being completely unbiased here, theres a difference between the subject being brought up between someone you are romantically involved with vs someone you've been on a few dates with."

Fair.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I didn't have to. I met him on here.

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By *ral_isthenewblackMan
over a year ago

london


"Early on in our relationship (over 25 years ago), my wife admitted she'd been was very bi curious and had having fantasies for years about having a FFM prior to meeting me. I never pushed the issue because I was 21, none to bright and never thought such a thing could happen to me. Months later when me moved in together she started talking about the fact she was having fantasies about me sleeping with another woman. Again, being non to bright I thought it was a test or something....the internet wasn't exactly something I used back then.

Anyway, one girls night out after one drink to many, she told her friend and the rest is history.

Been swinging on and off ever since.

"

Very naughty wife..I like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The next girlfriend i have a want us to be in a open relationship so we can enjoy other people and MMF etc so hopeing i can meet her on here to save the awkward convetsation. Brought it up with a new girlfriend years ago after a few weeks as dont like to string along and she was dead against it and i was dumped on the spot. Pretty harsh considering i was being honest and only asking her thoughts but sadly thats the risk you take when asking a partner about swinging and is the reason many wont bring it up as they dont want to get dumped like i did. Sad times in 2021 when you are judged by a partner for asking a question or thier thoughts on the subject etc.

There is two sides to this story.

You're complaining you where judged after a couple of weeks but where you?

Just playing devils advocate here, She may have realised that was something you wanted in a relationship and it was not something she was willing to ever do so why continue with the relationship? Better to nip it in the bud there and then.

Being completely unbiased here, theres a difference between the subject being brought up between someone you are romantically involved with vs someone you've been on a few dates with."

I brought it up after a few months of being together as i didnt want to string anyone along. The point im makeing is people are scared of bringing up the subject for fear of being dumped. We are asked to be honest and thats thats but rather than being dumped why not say its not something she wants and we could have dropped the subject, i mean you dont know unless you ask do you? The problem i have is time is moveing on, im in my 30's and i dont get the chance to meet a potential new girlfriend very often and i have been single for 5 years so im not going to get many more shots ( if any) of a chance of happiness with someone. The problem is if i meet someone and again be honest and bring up the subject i risk being dumped again and then i could spend another 5, 9, 15 years single so its a calculated risk im not sure im willing to take anymore and may have to settle for vanilla if i ever get another girlfriend. Surely if you bring it up and its not to the others taste dont you think dumping them is a bit harsh? This will just sadly mean less people will want to bring up the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wife bi and really enjoys female plus we both did it in our younger years with different partners before we met me was ffm with girl I was engaged to, wife now did MFM and ffm from her previous marriage, before we met conversation come up over drink and admitted to one and other both used to be on here so waited to make sure all was good with us and created couples profile from past..

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By *urvytreatWoman
over a year ago

somewhere nice

Wasn’t an issue for us as we met at clubf. Had a conversation about boundaries before we became official. Still loving it x

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By *urchoicenowCouple
over a year ago

Ashford

We had both had a fairly sheltered upbringing, got married at 25/23 and hadn't had many previous partners. I brought it up and initially K thought I'd gone off her, but I explained what it was. We agreed to go to pleasures and just played on our own in a room, then next time another couple same room then next time included another couple.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"The next girlfriend i have a want us to be in a open relationship so we can enjoy other people and MMF etc so hopeing i can meet her on here to save the awkward convetsation. Brought it up with a new girlfriend years ago after a few weeks as dont like to string along and she was dead against it and i was dumped on the spot. Pretty harsh considering i was being honest and only asking her thoughts but sadly thats the risk you take when asking a partner about swinging and is the reason many wont bring it up as they dont want to get dumped like i did. Sad times in 2021 when you are judged by a partner for asking a question or thier thoughts on the subject etc.

There is two sides to this story.

You're complaining you where judged after a couple of weeks but where you?

Just playing devils advocate here, She may have realised that was something you wanted in a relationship and it was not something she was willing to ever do so why continue with the relationship? Better to nip it in the bud there and then.

Being completely unbiased here, theres a difference between the subject being brought up between someone you are romantically involved with vs someone you've been on a few dates with.

I brought it up after a few months of being together as i didnt want to string anyone along. The point im makeing is people are scared of bringing up the subject for fear of being dumped. We are asked to be honest and thats thats but rather than being dumped why not say its not something she wants and we could have dropped the subject, i mean you dont know unless you ask do you? The problem i have is time is moveing on, im in my 30's and i dont get the chance to meet a potential new girlfriend very often and i have been single for 5 years so im not going to get many more shots ( if any) of a chance of happiness with someone. The problem is if i meet someone and again be honest and bring up the subject i risk being dumped again and then i could spend another 5, 9, 15 years single so its a calculated risk im not sure im willing to take anymore and may have to settle for vanilla if i ever get another girlfriend. Surely if you bring it up and its not to the others taste dont you think dumping them is a bit harsh? This will just sadly mean less people will want to bring up the subject. "

This is absolute tosh. Sorry but it is.

You either want to be a swinger or you want a relationship. If being a swinger is that important to you, you have to accept some people will run a mile at the idea so be honest. At the same time, if the relationship is that important to you both equally you'll be able to have a frank discussion that does not end in breaking up. Relationships are built on building something together and if the other party is that important to you, you wont mind if they are not interested in swinging. If you do break up then I'm not seeing how solid that relationship was to begin with.

No offence but this all reads as a self pity post. You all need to start dating ladies who you can be open and frank about with on any subject (this is after all, someone you want to spend your whole life with right?). The whole swinging thing should just be a potential plus to that, not a requirement.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

My partner and I tried a 3sum and a more sum in our late teens... but at 18 and 19 it was a bit of a disaster. . I loved it, he hated it... it broke us up... after we split I'd decided that this was who I was... and carried on all by myself ..

Forward to when we got back in touch and I was honest... but I have taken a step back to see how he feels once the clubs reopen x

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"My partner and I tried a 3sum and a more sum in our late teens... but at 18 and 19 it was a bit of a disaster. . I loved it, he hated it... it broke us up... after we split I'd decided that this was who I was... and carried on all by myself ..

Forward to when we got back in touch and I was honest... but I have taken a step back to see how he feels once the clubs reopen x"

We where 22 and 25 when we started so not much older when we had our first adventures. We took time out to raise a family but always intended to come back to it..which we did

We both loved it when we started but if one of us hadn't, that would have been the end of swinging there and then for us. We where soft swap to begin with though so that probably helped a bit.

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By *andSCouple
over a year ago

Old London Town

My SO was talking about her fantasies and was convinced that nothing could be done to make then a reality. Her fantasies were based around being around and attended to by multiple men.

So I then went on researching, as I tend to do, and found Eurekas.

Thanks to Eurekas, Radletts and Pleasures, we have found is that there’s more that we want to do than her original fantasies now.

We’re looking forward to the year ahead and exploring more of our sexuality.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire


"We met on fab so it’s always been a thing with us "

aw that's nice

so did we

same here!

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"My partner and I tried a 3sum and a more sum in our late teens... but at 18 and 19 it was a bit of a disaster. . I loved it, he hated it... it broke us up... after we split I'd decided that this was who I was... and carried on all by myself ..

Forward to when we got back in touch and I was honest... but I have taken a step back to see how he feels once the clubs reopen x

We where 22 and 25 when we started so not much older when we had our first adventures. We took time out to raise a family but always intended to come back to it..which we did

We both loved it when we started but if one of us hadn't, that would have been the end of swinging there and then for us. We where soft swap to begin with though so that probably helped a bit."

If he doesnt like it this time around then I would stay only for social xx but last time he admits he was just not mature enough x

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"

No offence but this all reads as a self pity post. You all need to start dating ladies who you can be open and frank about with on any subject (this is after all, someone you want to spend your whole life with right?). The whole swinging thing should just be a potential plus to that, not a requirement.

"

Totally agree.

As a single girl on a sex site (i club too) I wouldn’t date a swinger.

And I certainly would end a relationship with someone who wanted to swing and I didn’t.

Why would I waste months of my life with the other person not getting what they want from life?

I agree it’s all about compromise. But some people can’t compromise on that. I know I wouldn’t and I’m totally ok with saying that.

Just because we are on here, and I’ve dated from here, doesn’t make it an easy bet we’re up for the same lol.

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By *amesRobs1987 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"

No offence but this all reads as a self pity post. You all need to start dating ladies who you can be open and frank about with on any subject (this is after all, someone you want to spend your whole life with right?). The whole swinging thing should just be a potential plus to that, not a requirement.

Totally agree.

As a single girl on a sex site (i club too) I wouldn’t date a swinger.

And I certainly would end a relationship with someone who wanted to swing and I didn’t.

Why would I waste months of my life with the other person not getting what they want from life?

I agree it’s all about compromise. But some people can’t compromise on that. I know I wouldn’t and I’m totally ok with saying that.

Just because we are on here, and I’ve dated from here, doesn’t make it an easy bet we’re up for the same lol. "

Ahh interesting, so you're looking for monogamy eventually? Probably wrongly assumed everyone on here was looking for non-monogamy.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"

No offence but this all reads as a self pity post. You all need to start dating ladies who you can be open and frank about with on any subject (this is after all, someone you want to spend your whole life with right?). The whole swinging thing should just be a potential plus to that, not a requirement.

Totally agree.

As a single girl on a sex site (i club too) I wouldn’t date a swinger.

And I certainly would end a relationship with someone who wanted to swing and I didn’t.

Why would I waste months of my life with the other person not getting what they want from life?

I agree it’s all about compromise. But some people can’t compromise on that. I know I wouldn’t and I’m totally ok with saying that.

Just because we are on here, and I’ve dated from here, doesn’t make it an easy bet we’re up for the same lol.

Ahh interesting, so you're looking for monogamy eventually? Probably wrongly assumed everyone on here was looking for non-monogamy."

Haha defo a wrong assumption on my part!

Absolutely I am, eventually of course.

I’d potentially be open to the idea of clubbing together- because I like the vibe.

But under no circumstances would anyone be having sex with anyone else haha!

Be open with that your looking for, and don’t presume others are you’ll get there eventually!

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

Char and I knew each other before getting together properly and we'd discussed what had gone wrong in each of our marriages. Char wanted more fetish stuff, and because that's not my thing, I'd said that it was totally fine for her to continue with that side of things as long as we were open and not going behind each others backs. That progressed on to whether I'd want to get involved or watch, which progressed on to what I'd like to watch which progressed on to where we are now.

I know that health, age and anxiety means I can't do everything as well as other guys, and that there's some things I can't do for Char so I'm more than happy to see her get those things from others. Swinging for is is more about giving the freedom to experience everything and anything without having to hide anything.

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By * peas in a podCouple
over a year ago

Youghal

We met on Fab so it wasn't an issue for us.

We took a break when we first got together to discuss what we wanted and neither of us wanted to give up swinging or going to clubs even if it was just socially.

We established rules and boundaries that make us both happy and we're here now over 3 years together.

There's never been any problems for us as we both follow the rules and we are both happy for the other to play solo as long as we discuss it before hand and we both have a right to veto a meet if we don't like the other person.

It works for us and we're 2 very happy peas and I don't see us giving it up.

Mrs. Pea

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By *ischiefandmayhem69Couple
over a year ago

cupar

With my ex I just invited a girlfriend over and went from there then my new partner my first date with him was a private swingers weekend x

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By *torm in a G cupWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

Hubby and I watch porn together and share our fantasies. He knows I want a MMF and is happy to act that out with toys, but not keen to make it a reality.

I have told him he is welcome to sleep with others outside of our marriage, but he has not given his approval for me to do the same.

It is very frustrating. I just play on cam here instead and continue to share my fantasies with him. Maybe one day......

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By *amesRobs1987 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Hubby and I watch porn together and share our fantasies. He knows I want a MMF and is happy to act that out with toys, but not keen to make it a reality.

I have told him he is welcome to sleep with others outside of our marriage, but he has not given his approval for me to do the same.

It is very frustrating. I just play on cam here instead and continue to share my fantasies with him. Maybe one day...... "

Yeah that's very frustrating. And not particularly fair...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so where are at. Married 18 years. I’ve always been into kink and we have incorporated some of it down through the years. Chastity is a particular favourite of my wife’s. So last year or so we don’t have sexual intercourse. I’m usually in chastity and she has a dildo that she really enjoys and having me watch. It’s bigger than me and I think she surprised herself the pleasure she got from the larger size. We have talked a fair bit about me watching her with another man but she is finding it hard to take that step. Even though it turns her on immensely. She is just worried to much about the consequences and trust etc. I’d love her even more if she did it but I don’t want to keep pushing the idea. My ideal scenario is she cuckolds me with a guy who is comfortable including me and dominating me.. just don’t know how I can bring it forward without being to pushy and having her shutdown which has happened in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously she's content as things stand. And unhappy as you are you'll have to be firm in telling her all your wants .are it could be she's not happy with mfm, cause at the end of the day it is a threesom your talking about.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"

This is absolute tosh. Sorry but it is.

You either want to be a swinger or you want a relationship. If being a swinger is that important to you, you have to accept some people will run a mile at the idea so be honest. At the same time, if the relationship is that important to you both equally you'll be able to have a frank discussion that does not end in breaking up. Relationships are built on building something together and if the other party is that important to you, you wont mind if they are not interested in swinging. If you do break up then I'm not seeing how solid that relationship was to begin with.

No offence but this all reads as a self pity post. You all need to start dating ladies who you can be open and frank about with on any subject (this is after all, someone you want to spend your whole life with right?). The whole swinging thing should just be a potential plus to that, not a requirement.

"

Glad it's not just me that thought this

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By *iking SoftiesCouple
over a year ago

Chesterfield

When we got together it was after some quite construct relationships and we wanted more in the future we both put our cards on the table regarding experiences and fantasies then booked a trip to Amsterdam and went to a swingers club. We loved and have never looked back.

Far better to be honest though we can imagine how hard starting that conversation would have been had we been married 20 before it came up.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We talked about our sex lives and experiences before there were any thoughts of us actually getting together. I (Luke) said I wasn't interested in monogamous relationship, but not with a view of us being a couple. So when things started to happen between us it was already in the air and we were able to talk about what a relationship might look like in the light of what we had already talked about.

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

One of the bonuses of meeting on here as singles as you don’t have to have that conversation! All we had to decide was whether to carry on as a couple or not which is a much easier conversation to have!

TB

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By *exandthesuburbans83Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

We chatted about what turns us on and any deep dark fantasies. She had bi and he had 4 some fantasies so we kinda explored that as a chat but no more. Then a week or so later after a drink or two, Mr suggested if we should explore it rather than just talk about it. So we ended up on here and have had some fun. Still finding our way but at a pace that means it's fun

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By *ubo1980Couple
over a year ago

armagh


"Been talking about swinging on and off for a while. Mr was in new York for business and we were sexting etc. Decided to go for it.

A friend directed us here "

This was exactly us, he was in Vegas and I got horny and the rest is history lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs, after a few years together, said she wanted to explore her bi side! She has always been attracted to women but didn't realise she actually wanted to go further. No complaints from me!!

Anyway a couple of fmf later & we went to a club. She had a few more snogs and things with woman and she told me that in the orgy room a woman she went down on asked if she would wank her husband off (I was there but didn't hear it). She said no but when she told me about it afterwards I said she should have done as the thought was a turn on. Since then we have role played mfm many times and are looking forward to meeting a couple to turn the fantasy into a reality! If it wasnt for covid I think we would have been further along in our journey. At some stage we will probably try a MFM too...

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