FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for single men

By *teelStamina OP Man
over a year ago

London

As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Just ask be nice and respectful x

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?"

If you suggest a meet up in a first message thats exactly how you will come across

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suggesting meeting in a first message will 100% be creepy.

It would earn you a block fro me.

Us girls don't screw every guy we get a message off.

If you can't be interesting and take the time to get to know someone you don't deserve to be in my bed.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

If you suggest a meet up in a first message thats exactly how you will come across

This, I hate messages asking to meet, when we've never exchanged a word, how do i know if I wanna meet them.

Chat to them and build up a rapport, then think about asking

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

If you suggest a meet up in a first message thats exactly how you will come across

This, I hate messages asking to meet, when we've never exchanged a word, how do i know if I wanna meet them.

Chat to them and build up a rapport, then think about asking "

And then be all confused why you won't drive 50miles at 3am to "get some of this" cock pic attached haha

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By *D70Man
over a year ago

Lyndhurst, New Forest

So I write a polite and respectful message, picking out points from the profile. Trying to raise conversation on shared interest. I get, at best 1 out of 10 messages replied.. What am I doing wrong?

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"So I write a polite and respectful message, picking out points from the profile. Trying to raise conversation on shared interest. I get, at best 1 out of 10 messages replied.. What am I doing wrong? "

Probably nothing, they just nit Interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

piss them off in the forum then they message you to debate it.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

1 in 10 probably isn't bad tbh

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?"

Be creative and most importantly yourself treat it like you've bumped into each other in a bar I'm guessing you don't know how to chat up a female if you were on the pull, use it.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I would say you're doing something right. That's a higher than average response rate, _ased on previous threads in the forums.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

[Removed by poster at 04/06/21 21:20:56]

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By *ommy75Man
over a year ago

Bristol

if they need advice , there's no hope, be polite , be respectful and don't be an idiot, it's not rocket science , oh and don't take photos with just your socks on lol

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Have something to talk about other than sex.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

That sounds like a pretty good response rate to me. What proportion would you expect a reply from? Any one man is not likely to appeal to most women or couples.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Get to know me as a person first. The right moment will come up.

Unless of course you want any hole is the goal in which case faf will work as well as anything.

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

I am creepy & desperate but at least I am honest

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By *rueone71Man
over a year ago

Hiding in the Barnes

Maybe I come up too “intense “

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By *eelixMan
over a year ago

Redruth

I think what men sometimes forget is how many messages women and couples get.

They are literally bombarded with messages and I imagine most are not remotely imaginative ( I may be wrong, but going off the number of profiles that mention this).

The thing I would ask people to do if not interested and not got the time to reply is to delete the message.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

[Removed by poster at 07/06/21 17:49:08]

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?"

A message which shows you've read, understood and responded to what's in their profiles accordingly as opposed to a message which proves you haven't.

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By *ussieChrisMan
over a year ago

Walsall

I wouldn't complain.. You seem to be doing quite well. I'm lucky to get any responses.

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By *niper oneMan
over a year ago

DERBY/Notts border

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?"

Mate stick with POF a lot easier

Single males dont get a look in on here complete waste of time.

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By *exy4youxxWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

Mate stick with POF a lot easier

Single males dont get a look in on here complete waste of time."

Getting a bit fed up with these Pof posts POF and fab are 2 totally different operating sites one is swinging the other is a dating site no wonder wemon find it hard to trust ...

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

You got verifications already, in top 1% of fab guys

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By *angbangFantasyWoman
over a year ago

London

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

Mate stick with POF a lot easier

Single males dont get a look in on here complete waste of time.

Getting a bit fed up with these Pof posts POF and fab are 2 totally different operating sites one is swinging the other is a dating site no wonder wemon find it hard to trust ..."

Agree, unfortunately men use both sites for the same reason, but their approach is different here and yet they wonder why they aren't successful.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

Mate stick with POF a lot easier

Single males dont get a look in on here complete waste of time.

Getting a bit fed up with these Pof posts POF and fab are 2 totally different operating sites one is swinging the other is a dating site no wonder wemon find it hard to trust ...

Agree, unfortunately men use both sites for the same reason, but their approach is different here and yet they wonder why they aren't successful."

There are quite a lot of ladies on tinder and pof ...and fab at the same time ..my observations...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?

Mate stick with POF a lot easier

Single males dont get a look in on here complete waste of time.

Getting a bit fed up with these Pof posts POF and fab are 2 totally different operating sites one is swinging the other is a dating site no wonder wemon find it hard to trust ..."

spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also if you need advice then i feel you not thought thru why you want to swing ..

just be yourself so others can see the real you and decide to want to meet or not dont end up being like the rest who asked for advise and all have the same boring profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Introduce yourself, be nice and take it from there. Build up a rapport. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/06/21 01:18:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I myself have taken countless advise and got no where. In my experience, it doesn't matter how you message them. Ignorance is all you receive because your not good enough. But again that's my pointless experience here

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By *ueenieHWoman
over a year ago

leeds

Instead of requesting a meet straight away, try getting to know the person your talking to and build up trust before you plan to meet. And read their profiles will help to start a conversation

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By *angbangFantasyWoman
over a year ago

London

Okay let's be brutally honest.

Single guys, after having read the profiles of single women or couples, following how they would like to be approached (decent message with face/body/picture), you'll have your message deleted if they don't think you are what they are after.

So no matter how much you may think you fit the bill, they're the ones who will be the judge of that.

It's a numbers game.

Single guys saying that they have more "luck" on the vanilla dating sites may have more "luck" because I'm sure you don't have 20 pictures of your cock from different angles and have a bit more on your profile than "just ask".

I have initiated communication first with guys on here if they have a decent profile and they peaked my interest and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

But again, that's because I don't fit the bill so I move on.

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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago

Z'ha'dum

My advice would be don't be the first to message. Wait and till they message you.

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

"Okay let's be brutally honest.

So no matter how much you may think you fit the bill, they're the ones who will be the judge of that.

It's a numbers game.

I have initiated communication first with guys on here if they have a decent profile and they peaked my interest and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

But again, that's because I don't fit the bill so I move on."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be a nice person, try and strick up a conversation about something on there profile or a forum post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/06/21 23:33:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suggesting meeting in a first message will 100% be creepy.

It would earn you a block fro me.

Us girls don't screw every guy we get a message off.

If you can't be interesting and take the time to get to know someone you don't deserve to be in my bed. "

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm just thinking that if a person is stuck at this point what is the actual meet going to be like

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By *ekkatransTV/TS
over a year ago

Scarborough

Don’t start by calling them babe or hun, that pisses a lot of people off, be nice and don’t start by being sexual, play the long game.

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By *di086Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:48:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am creepy & desperate but at least I am honest "

Sorry but you look like Charles Manson too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think the op is very interested tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message saying my age were in from that I don’t travel but I accommodate anything she will need to know is in the first message with a picture of myself not naked just fully clothed with a polite Thankyou at the end

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By *ugsly95Man
over a year ago

Ashbourne

It’s hard for single men on here to have to be patient

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"As a single men what is the best message to send to suggest a meetup without coming across creepy or desperate?"

How would you ask some to meet up in real life??

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Be creative and most importantly yourself treat it like you've bumped into each other in a bar I'm guessing you don't know how to chat up a female if you were on the pull, use it."

I find this site is exactly the same as meeting in a bar. I take a good look at my intended prey, I don’t bother finding out anything about her, I ask if she wants to have the best night of her life, and I show her 40 pics of my cock on my phone.

It never works in Wetherspoons either, to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm getting that you're looking for some kind of message template, as that's how your post comes across.

There are threads along these lines that get posted in the forum by guys who seem to think that there is some kind of magic message that gets the sort of response they're looking for.

Well, there isn't.

There is no 'one size fits all' message that you can copy and paste to everyone you're interested in.

The most important piece of advice anyone can give you is very, very simple.

READ THEIR PROFILE

Once you've done this, you should be able to compose a message that is unique and personal to the recipient.

Pick up on their interests and what thye're looking for. You'll also be able to gauge from their profile how soon they might be inclined to consider meeting.

Some may wish to build a rapport through a few socials, others may not.

Think about how you would approach people in the real world. I'm assuing you know how to do that!

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Unless they have over 9 inches lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women get loads of messages.. men got none from women ..

So that's why they ignore most of the messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a look at the bottom of my bio there's some great advice for single guys on fab. It's really worth the read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My messages don't even get read, so it wouldn't matter what I put in them

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By *teveNW81Man
over a year ago

wigan

1 in 10 us a pretty good ratio tbf!

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend

[Removed by poster at 28/06/21 19:19:18]

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend

[Removed by poster at 28/06/21 19:20:34]

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By *olymalelincsMan
over a year ago

southend

"My messages don't even get read, so it wouldn't matter what I put in them

They probably do, try opening with something to catch the eye as you can see the first line and a bit from the inbox so if it doesn't catch their eye then it will just get deleted without opening also make sure you meet the criteria the person is looking for as if you don't when they check your profile that will be instant delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truth is there's so many blokes & couples on this site that the women looking for whatever it is they want, they're kinda spoilt for choice.

This site is more a social get together for the like minded, even then I question how many actually are like minded & not just here for the amusement, endless chat, bullshit & such like, hence my considerations on quitting. (right now half reading this will be thinking 'well F off then'!)

Swinging has changed some say for the better. I'm all for the openness & more people, the shaking off certain taboos, but at the same time I do miss the old days, the style of it being for those in the know, invite, introduction & discretion, even slightly seedy, etc.

Then again if you're looking to meet, have a drink, followed by some intimate fun you're probably better off using one of the other sites that cater for it & nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tbh to many of the woman on here think there better than they are and just ignorant bastards to be fair and thats not them all but a lot of them are

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

4 meets in 3 days in your veris I think your doing alright haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe looking and thinking off other guys on here and asking the question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Further to my entry a few days back I can honestly say in the past I've met more women being on OK Cupid! And quite a number who also were very happy for just some intimate fun! Sometimes these specialist sites aren't all they're cracked up to be. They use to be but they've gone so public & are more a social thing than ever before that it's lost something!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Act the same, and say the same things as you might in person - unless you're some creepy nutjob who preys on women in bars, saying things you think they want to hear to get laid. Don't do that.

It's not rocket science - be decent, be normal, don't just jump straight to compliments in an attempt to placate people. Have something to say, don't just make it a Q&A session, be interesting and interested and go easy on the sex talk. Nobody (even on a sex site) wants overt sexual chat from a complete stranger on the Internet - that's just weird & creepy.

Talk to people as though they're real people, not just pictures on your computer.

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