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Messaging etiquette advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all. I’m relatively new here. It’s great to see so many people going out of their way to offer support and advice. Sure everyone in my position is very grateful. Wondered if anyone could offer some guidance on messaging etiquette. Appreciate that a deleted message is a definite ‘no thanks’, but what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. Clearly the best way to meet people is at socials, but in the meantime…

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's good to know - thank you

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By *ce_of_Spades22Woman
over a year ago

dublin


"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted. "

I second this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I 3rd it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also welcome to the forum .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I 4th it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.

I second this! "

Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi there all, we are a couple who are recently new to this site and the swinging scene. We were wondering is there any advice 4hat would be useful to us? We are new to the forum aswell so come say hello!x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/05/21 19:04:04]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Also welcome to the forum . "

Thank you . There's a lot to learn, but there seem to be a lot of sound, non-judgemental people on here, which makes a nice change from the rogue sites that blitz you with 'Agnes from Hassocks has just sent you a message, subscribe here to connect with her' type stuff...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.

I second this!

Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it."

Much appreciated advice. Cheers.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Hi there all, we are a couple who are recently new to this site and the swinging scene. We were wondering is there any advice 4hat would be useful to us? We are new to the forum aswell so come say hello!x"

Make your own post

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley


"...what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. "

I'd say that counts as 'pestering to distraction', or at least the beginning of it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"...what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment.

I'd say that counts as 'pestering to distraction', or at least the beginning of it!"

Well, I won't be doing that then. Thanks for the advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.

I second this!

Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it.

Much appreciated advice. Cheers. "

You are very welcome. Have a look at the bottom of my bio there's a copy and paste link to some great advice for single guys on fab. It's well worth the read

Happy fabbing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Also welcome to the forum .

Thank you . There's a lot to learn, but there seem to be a lot of sound, non-judgemental people on here, which makes a nice change from the rogue sites that blitz you with 'Agnes from Hassocks has just sent you a message, subscribe here to connect with her' type stuff..."

That flaming Agnes! She gets everywhere

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi there all, we are a couple who are recently new to this site and the swinging scene. We were wondering is there any advice 4hat would be useful to us? We are new to the forum aswell so come say hello!x"

Welcome.

If you start a thread in the introduction section I'm sure people will be along to answer you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.

I second this!

Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it.

Much appreciated advice. Cheers.

You are very welcome. Have a look at the bottom of my bio there's a copy and paste link to some great advice for single guys on fab. It's well worth the read

Happy fabbing "

Thank you!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis"

No way. Would you go up to a stranger in the street and say "would you be my friend?"

It's a as weird on here as out there. Unless one is a Facebook fan and thinks friends are just 'likes'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis"

No way. Would you go up to a stranger in the street and say "would you be my friend?"

It's a as weird on here as out there. Unless one is a Facebook fan and thinks friends are just 'likes' "

Your mention of social media was what I was driving at, really, where there are varying levels of acceptable engagement. That's sound advice. Thank you.

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By *ushWookyCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

One thing we would suggest , is read the profile.

If it’s says “if your X, then don’t message” please follow the request.

Our banned list, is very long !

Happy searching

L&W

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all. I’m relatively new here. It’s great to see so many people going out of their way to offer support and advice. Sure everyone in my position is very grateful. Wondered if anyone could offer some guidance on messaging etiquette. Appreciate that a deleted message is a definite ‘no thanks’, but what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. Clearly the best way to meet people is at socials, but in the meantime… "

Once you've sent a message just delete it. That way you won't be sitting there umm'ing and ahh'ing on what to do next

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

The moment you start checking if your messages have been read, is the moment you are taking Fab too seriously.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi all. I’m relatively new here. It’s great to see so many people going out of their way to offer support and advice. Sure everyone in my position is very grateful. Wondered if anyone could offer some guidance on messaging etiquette. Appreciate that a deleted message is a definite ‘no thanks’, but what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. Clearly the best way to meet people is at socials, but in the meantime…

Once you've sent a message just delete it. That way you won't be sitting there umm'ing and ahh'ing on what to do next"

That's really good advice. Thank you.

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By *ssexmickMan
over a year ago

Rawreth

I kind of agree the unreplied messages the unread ones should be taken as a no but a simple no thanks wouldn't hurt would it

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By *oxy lady40Woman
over a year ago

bridgwater


"I kind of agree the unreplied messages the unread ones should be taken as a no but a simple no thanks wouldn't hurt would it "
if you hundred plus messages a day would you reply to all

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I kind of agree the unreplied messages the unread ones should be taken as a no but a simple no thanks wouldn't hurt would it "

There are only 75 messages shown per inbox. Any number of unread ones can be on the unseen pages.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I kind of agree the unreplied messages the unread ones should be taken as a no but a simple no thanks wouldn't hurt would it "

Do you reply to all the spam in your email inbox?

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By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"That's good to know - thank you "

I'd also add if you do get the sound of silence from someone assume they aren't interested. So avoid messaging them again by blocking them there and then

Sounds a bit extreme but it's a good system I think

Good luck OP

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Definitely not a good idea to send a request if they haven't responded.

Main tipe we'd say is messaging them as what they are. So address a couple as a couple as so many seem to assume it's one person talking.

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