FabSwingers.com forum: Advice to a new couple

By *olo_89 OP Couple
over a year ago

Kettering

Anyone got any advice to a new couple, now that clubs are opening again we do want to attend one but any advice for those new to the scene would be appreciated.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Safe sex is an imperative; don't be tempted to go BB.

Some STI strains are now highly resistant to treatment.

If you can, go to a club with a couple with whom you feel comfortable and possibly have been tempted to play with before.

The club atmosphere may break the ice, and provide a regular, trusted foursome, if you prefer BB.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoy yourselves. Most important thing is to enjoy it.... but at first - Slowly. Take your time and don’t feel pressured into anything. Get a feel for the clubs. They are often intimidating places along side being one of the most friendly places. Don’t force it. Some play will happen when your ready for it to.

Talk to people in the clubs. Get to know them. Get to know the staff. And go to one a few times on different nights.

It’s not for everyone swinging. Even if you think it is now. It can sometimes bring you closer it can drive you apart too so talk to each other and support each other. Make sure you are both clear what you want and how you are feeling.

Set rules that you both follow... like timeout codes etc. (I need a drink is a good one)

And most importantly allow your selves the aftercare time to wrap your selves in intimacy afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go with the mindset that nothing is going to happen and that you are just going for a nice night out and a drink in other words take the pressure off of yourselfs.

Relax and best of luck but most of all hopefully you will have fun.

Tony

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Anyone got any advice to a new couple, now that clubs are opening again we do want to attend one but any advice for those new to the scene would be appreciated. "

Maybe for your first visit go on a couples only night and to a club where you don't have to dress down on arrival.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regular check ins with each other throughout the night to ensure you’re both enjoying yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We approached it by having some ground rules agreed in advance such as if either of us weren't having a good time we would simply leave and talk about it after as we could always go again in the future. We also said to each other that we would just go for the social side to start and see if the lifestyle was for us.

For our first visit we agreed that we would not play with anyone else and only with each other if we *both* really felt it. Our first club visit, we just watched and dressed down a little as we were both a little anxious, second visit we played with each other while others watched, third visit we played with others...

Would just say that there's no hurry to do anything or feel pressure as there's always going to be other club events in the future, also the same club for the same event can have a very different feel depending on who turns up and what goes on.

If you don't feel it the first time then try the same club again and if it's still not doing it for you both then look for different clubs for different events.

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
over a year ago

Epsom

It’s always good to especially your boundaries and what you both feel comfortable with beforehand. It’s usually easy to spot the newbies who haven’t when you see them arguing in a corner when one has done something that’s upset the other.

The most important thing is to lay down what you feel comfortable with while putting your relationship first. After that’s all agreed go have fun and go easy on the drinks

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

Do what suits you. This is about you and no one else. Talk it through, agree limits and don't push your limits to quick.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

If you put on your status that you're going to a club and switch on who's near, you'll likely to get some messages. It's nice to arrange to meet someone in a club even if it's just for a chat. We were bricking it for our first club night, now we love the atmosphere, the music, the fun

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

"If you put on your status that you're going to a club and switch on who's near, you'll likely to get some messages. It's nice to arrange to meet someone in a club even if it's just for a chat. We were bricking it for our first club night, now we love the atmosphere, the music, the fun

This is good advice and we were also more than a little nervous before our first club! The good news is that you have nothing to worry about, most clubs are relaxed and easy. We agree that a couples night is a good way to ease yourself in and find your feet

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Hi op

Go at your own pace and do only what you're both happy with.

The clubs I've been to have been really friendly, on my first visit with my partner we sat and had a few drinks and chatted to some other couples.

There was no pressure to strip down or do anything if we didn't want to.

We sat in the pool and again it was all really relaxed.

I'd say go with no expectations and just see where it takes you and have fun. You might not meet anyone who catches your eye, but you have each other if not.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Go open minded with a veiw to just having a great night out together. Don't have hard expectations or set goals.

Do you research prior. Takes a lot of stress off knowing things like clothing, items and bit of what to expect. Understand the practical aspects like is it pay a bar every visit or pay the bill at the end of the night? Do they take cash, card or both? Never be a afraid to ring up and ask questions if the web site hasn't got the information you need.

Make sure you let them know its your first time. They will hopefully give you a tour, some good advice, introduce you to some people and put you at easy.

And even if your shy, never be afraid to say hello to people. They won't bite and you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Sometimes a club can be a bit like the school disco, everyone sitting to the sides of the room to nervous to approach each other. But at the end of the day someone has to make the first move.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Anyone got any advice to a new couple, now that clubs are opening again we do want to attend one but any advice for those new to the scene would be appreciated. "

Have fun.

Clubs are not as intimidating as your mind maybe projecting.

My advice would be go with a mindset of a social exploration.

Don’t entertain “false” friends and intimidation.

Remember “no” if needed.

They are fantastic places for likeminded people, likeminded being the operative word.

Most of all, remember to have fantastic fun!

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