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Divorce solicitors ?

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By *weetPea-k OP   Man
over a year ago

chelmsford

Bit of a long shot but just wondered if there is any divorce solicitors on here that would be willing to give me a bit of advice on a mans position in a divorce ?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Bit of a long shot but just wondered if there is any divorce solicitors on here that would be willing to give me a bit of advice on a mans position in a divorce ? "

Every divorce is different, there is no generic "man's position". You need to take proper legal advice.

Mrs kf x

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By *weetPea-k OP   Man
over a year ago

chelmsford


"Bit of a long shot but just wondered if there is any divorce solicitors on here that would be willing to give me a bit of advice on a mans position in a divorce ?

Every divorce is different, there is no generic "man's position". You need to take proper legal advice.

Mrs kf x"

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bit of a long shot but just wondered if there is any divorce solicitors on here that would be willing to give me a bit of advice on a mans position in a divorce ?

Every divorce is different, there is no generic "man's position". You need to take proper legal advice.

Mrs kf x

Thank you x"

Some solicitors can give some free advice initially, before you decide to take things further

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I would say every case is unique....there no generic case....Good luck though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors."

This advice is spot on. The only winners if you involve solicitors are the solicitors. Mediation is low cost and is about reasonable negotiation rather than turning you into adversaries. You stand a chance of keeping a good relationship after your divorce, which is really important if kids are involved. Good luck with it whatever you decide ... It's a tough time for you, but as they say, when you're going through shit the trick is to keep going

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By *weetPea-k OP   Man
over a year ago

chelmsford

Thank you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read up the stuff on the gov website and the wikivorce info. They're the best and clear.

Get your head round the idea that you both start afresh on a equal footing. Which means if her future earnings have been hampered by your joint decision for her to bring up kids then your split of assets compensates for this. Or vice versa.

Whatever you do put the kids' needs first.

I can give you name of very sensible solicitor who gave me 40 mins of free useful advice.

And excellent mmedfiation service.

And brilliant counsellor who was unshockable and helped us navigate our journey to New role as co-parents. (saving us a fortune in solicitors fees too)

Mumsnet might give you good advice on the divorce forum. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nowadays gender doesn't matter on divorces. Men and women are in equal positions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors.

This advice is spot on. The only winners if you involve solicitors are the solicitors. Mediation is low cost and is about reasonable negotiation rather than turning you into adversaries. You stand a chance of keeping a good relationship after your divorce, which is really important if kids are involved. Good luck with it whatever you decide ... It's a tough time for you, but as they say, when you're going through shit the trick is to keep going "

When I split from my husband I fought hard for us to try to be civil and eventually we were friends for the rest of his life. I knew that if I didn’t achieve that my daughter would suffer and not have the close relationship that they had. It was hard for the first six months and meant I had to be the peacemaker but it’s something that I was proud of achieving. I did the divorce online many years later.

I made that decision after accompanying my best friend to her solicitors as she was out of her depth. Her husband was a Doctor and used his wealth to find a solicitor who knew all the dirty tricks and she lost out.

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By *ushtakerMan
over a year ago

Preston

The Solictor I used tried to cause arguments between us

I specifically told her not to send a letter she had drafted as it’s contents were untrue and inflammatory

She sent it and it all kicked off

I got the Solictor to send an apology she blamed a computer error

They know your financial situation and the more you argue the more more they earn

They do it all the time

If your lucky you’ll do it once

Be aware is my advice

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure your solicitor is a woman.

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

My ex and I did a DIY divorce. We agreed arrangements for the kids, and used solicitor just for initial advice. We agreed not to claim in each others pensions , I paid her half he equity from the house and kept costs pretty low .

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall


"Nowadays gender doesn't matter on divorces. Men and women are in equal positions."
..... Are they though.... If I left, could I demand half the equity in the house straight away so I could buy or rent somewhere for me to live? Otherwise I'd be living in the car

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall


"As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors.

This advice is spot on. The only winners if you involve solicitors are the solicitors. Mediation is low cost and is about reasonable negotiation rather than turning you into adversaries. You stand a chance of keeping a good relationship after your divorce, which is really important if kids are involved. Good luck with it whatever you decide ... It's a tough time for you, but as they say, when you're going through shit the trick is to keep going

When I split from my husband I fought hard for us to try to be civil and eventually we were friends for the rest of his life. I knew that if I didn’t achieve that my daughter would suffer and not have the close relationship that they had. It was hard for the first six months and meant I had to be the peacemaker but it’s something that I was proud of achieving. I did the divorce online many years later.

I made that decision after accompanying my best friend to her solicitors as she was out of her depth. Her husband was a Doctor and used his wealth to find a solicitor who knew all the dirty tricks and she lost out."
.. did you pay your ex half the equity in the house straight away?

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"When I split from my husband I fought hard for us to try to be civil and eventually we were friends for the rest of his life. I knew that if I didn’t achieve that my daughter would suffer and not have the close relationship that they had. It was hard for the first six months and meant I had to be the peacemaker but it’s something that I was proud of achieving. I did the divorce online many years later.

I made that decision after accompanying my best friend to her solicitors as she was out of her depth. Her husband was a Doctor and used his wealth to find a solicitor who knew all the dirty tricks and she lost out."

Wow, as weird as it sounds, I wish you were my ex!

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

I want to leave this sexless 20+ year marriage, 18+ year old foster daughter is Not my financial responsibility now. But unless I can force the sale of the house, or some other way, get half the value of the house (I've paid off the mortgage) I would be living in my car and I'm disabled, 65 and can't work . HELP!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bit of a long shot but just wondered if there is any divorce solicitors on here that would be willing to give me a bit of advice on a mans position in a divorce ? "

Hi OP - not so sure that a forum post on a adult sex site is a good way to seek divorce advice

But having been there done that etc etc - Start with mediation on terms of the divorce and agree between you, then file for the divorce yourself - easy process if your both in agreement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bit of a long shot but just wondered if there is any divorce solicitors on here that would be willing to give me a bit of advice on a mans position in a divorce ? "

I am divorced,basically you're fucked,she will listen to her friends and take you to the cleaners,get a good solicitor!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors."

Unfortunately not everyone is reasonable or behaves reasonably.

I tried to communicate with her for the sake of our five children and 38 year relationship, she refused to communicate reasonably and went down the solicitor route and took me to court even when both solicitors agreed it wasn't necessary. She walked out on me, there was no third party involvement. Three bitter years and 30-40k in solicitor fees, we are now divorced.

But this isn't really the best place for divorce advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors.

This advice is spot on. The only winners if you involve solicitors are the solicitors. Mediation is low cost and is about reasonable negotiation rather than turning you into adversaries. You stand a chance of keeping a good relationship after your divorce, which is really important if kids are involved. Good luck with it whatever you decide ... It's a tough time for you, but as they say, when you're going through shit the trick is to keep going

When I split from my husband I fought hard for us to try to be civil and eventually we were friends for the rest of his life. I knew that if I didn’t achieve that my daughter would suffer and not have the close relationship that they had. It was hard for the first six months and meant I had to be the peacemaker but it’s something that I was proud of achieving. I did the divorce online many years later.

I made that decision after accompanying my best friend to her solicitors as she was out of her depth. Her husband was a Doctor and used his wealth to find a solicitor who knew all the dirty tricks and she lost out... did you pay your ex half the equity in the house straight away? "

My husband lived in the house for the rest of his life (died a couple of years ago). I moved out and started afresh with a mortgage on a small flat. He gave me a small settlement after about 10 years and we agreed to wait for the rest until house was sold. I divorced him when he became ill so the kids could be his next of kin and we made no claim on each others property. I let his 2 children and our daughter inherit all his property/money,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I split from my husband I fought hard for us to try to be civil and eventually we were friends for the rest of his life. I knew that if I didn’t achieve that my daughter would suffer and not have the close relationship that they had. It was hard for the first six months and meant I had to be the peacemaker but it’s something that I was proud of achieving. I did the divorce online many years later.

I made that decision after accompanying my best friend to her solicitors as she was out of her depth. Her husband was a Doctor and used his wealth to find a solicitor who knew all the dirty tricks and she lost out.

Wow, as weird as it sounds, I wish you were my ex!"

Thanks - it didn't benefit me financially but morally I wanted to do the right thing for the family - I had 2 step children as well as I married a widower.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want to leave this sexless 20+ year marriage, 18+ year old foster daughter is Not my financial responsibility now. But unless I can force the sale of the house, or some other way, get half the value of the house (I've paid off the mortgage) I would be living in my car and I'm disabled, 65 and can't work . HELP!!!!"

You need to book an initial meeting with a solicitor to look at your options if you can't come to an agreement with your wife.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley


"Nowadays gender doesn't matter on divorces. Men and women are in equal positions."

Except when it comes to the children and custody of/access to them.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Definitely see a solicitor and try and keep it amicable.

Im a solicitor (don’t do family law) but there’s lots of tricks and it can turn quite unpleasant quickly x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't get a barrister

I hear they're really expensive

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By *weetPea-k OP   Man
over a year ago

chelmsford

Can i private message you ?

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By *weetPea-k OP   Man
over a year ago

chelmsford


"Definitely see a solicitor and try and keep it amicable.

Im a solicitor (don’t do family law) but there’s lots of tricks and it can turn quite unpleasant quickly x"

Can i private message you ?

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By *he RingmasterMan
over a year ago

Canford Cliffs

Just remember this

You call your solicitor and talk for 15 mins

Your solicitor calls her solicitor and talks for 15 mins

Her solicitor calls her and talks through the issues

Her solicitor calls your solicitor and talks for 15 minutes

Your solicitor calls you and answers you question for 15 minutes

That's an hour billable work by your solicitor at a few hundred pounds an hour and that can mount up pretty quickly

Everything you can sort out with each other means less in solicitors fees.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Usually you get a half hour consultation free.

I am just coming to the end of my divorce and am happy to answer questions about it if that would help. Luke

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By *oistknickersCouple
over a year ago

London

I hope you can work things out OP

but as others have said Solicitors are only interested in the payday, in previous dealings they have said barefaced lies straight to my face.

In Solicitor school lesson 1.01 first day they teach them to make sure that the parties hate each other and definitely get divorced.

I know these are generalisations but it’s vast majority that gives the minority a bad name.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 06/05/21 23:12:36]

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"As everyone says, each case is different. The only advice I would give is to communicate with your ex without getting into a fight and agree between you all the big things - property, money, kids. Will be much easier and cheaper. If you think that won’t happen then go to one of the organisations who will mediate between you to get to that stage before you go to solicitors.

This advice is spot on. The only winners if you involve solicitors are the solicitors. Mediation is low cost and is about reasonable negotiation rather than turning you into adversaries. You stand a chance of keeping a good relationship after your divorce, which is really important if kids are involved. Good luck with it whatever you decide ... It's a tough time for you, but as they say, when you're going through shit the trick is to keep going "

I also recommend that route. Don't get bogged down thinking about half, do the right thing by the person you made vows to and you really don’t want or need solicitors unless one of you is unreasonable. Decide between you if you want a clean break even at a high cost it may be better but each situation is very different. A good mediator rather than a solicitor will set realistic expectations if you can’t see eye to eye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've divorced twice.

Overall, the system it's massively biased against dads.

I haven't seen my beautiful girl for a year (I pay £300+ a month for that privilege).

I know this is not the place to post this kind of shite but my heart aches from the second I wake up because I miss her. M X

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By *lassyandkinkyCouple
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

OP I hope you are ok and please get some legal advice, you can get 30 minutes free advice.

This is not the place to discuss divorce.

Good luck and same to all going through a similar experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nowadays gender doesn't matter on divorces. Men and women are in equal positions."

You believe that bullshit mate your in for a big shock.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I did my own to save solicitor costs. I drafted everything & showed him to make any amendments etc.. it wasn’t easy being civil as I wanted to chop his balls off & poke him in the eye with a steak knife but we managed it & didn’t waste money.

J x

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Nowadays gender doesn't matter on divorces. Men and women are in equal positions.

You believe that bullshit mate your in for a big shock."

Yes, in both directions gender still seems to matter a hell of a lot.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I guess it all depends on how logical both party's are.

If there is say £50k of assets to divide, logic dictates it is better to get less than half rather than nothing at all.

So walking away with say £10k-£20k is better than getting half of £50K but then having to pay £20k in fees.

In the end emotions and pride can hamper financial self interest.

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By *weetPea-k OP   Man
over a year ago

chelmsford

Thank you all for your comments and advice

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"OP I hope you are ok and please get some legal advice, you can get 30 minutes free advice.

This is not the place to discuss divorce.

Good luck and same to all going through a similar experience.

"

I disagree, it's the place for anyone to discuss most things.

The thread will die if there's no interest.

Whether it's wise to take people's advice is another matter altogether

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