FabSwingers.com forum: Ways to stay safe

By *empting Devil. OP Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It's useful to remember that not everyone we meet through the internet is good hearted.

So, ways to ensure that you play safe - all additional suggestions gratefully received.

*Before a meet be certain that you will recognise the person you are meeting, a face pic or a quick cam session. This has the bonus of if the pics are out of date or fake you can take one look and walk away without a qualm.

*It's useful to arrange to meet in a public place first - even if you have the option of a speedy exit to somewhere more private! Scout out local coffee shops for places with discreet corners where you can chat but also be around others in case you feel nervous.

*Have a safety friend, someone you can text or ring with details of a meet or address. Also tell them times to contact you so they know when to get the baseball bat out and borrow next door's rotty!

*If you don't want to tell anyone, leave a note on your fridge with details of address, user name and the site you met on, and a phone number if you have one - all you have to do is tear it up when you get home.

*If you meet for coffee (public place, no alcohol involved, can last ten mins or two hours) and decide to go off to your meets house or a hotel you can call your answerphone with details. And if you should decide to get in your meets car (not wise, but you may decide to) then you can leave the registration number on there or take a pic and text or email it to yourself.

*If you drive to a meet where you're planning to stay over don't drink yourself out of an escape! I did this once and had to wait till 6am the next morning before I felt safe to drive! All for the sake of a glass or two of wine!

*If neither of you accommodates (or even if you do but prefer not to on a first meet) it's useful to be a member of your local club. I have a couples card for mine and it's cheaper than a hotel, I'm surrounded by friends and if the meet doesn't go well I can still have a fun night!

*Establish boundaries and preferences early on. It's far easier to say to someone that you don't like what they're doing if you have already made it clear that (for example) you're not into watersports or bondage or anal etc.

*Steel yourself to say no if you don't want to play with them. too many people have had sympathy shags because they felt like they couldn't really turn them down...

A straightforward "I think you're lovely but I'm not feeling any lust" can save you grief and self loathing later!

*Consider getting a ten pound play phone from somewhere like T*sco. That way you can switch it on when you want to play and any texts or messages are not going to accidentally picked up by family or friends or colleagues. It also means that if you get any hassle you can dump the sim card and start again.

*Whatever measures you take, make it clear to your meets that you do take safety measures. The awareness that people know where you are and expect to hear from you can discourage bad behaviour.

If you don't feel that you can tell anyone in your own life then don't forget that swinging is a community, we all make friends as well as playmates. You can always have someone to tell.

Good luck and play safe. Don't take this as a suggestion that you will encounter lots of wierdos, but it only takes one to knock your confidence or possibly worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great advice. Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said! I have a friend that I always tell, u need someone, and safety is not always about just a condom

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By *empting Devil. OP Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Unfortunately I have had some dodgy experiences which have lead me to have very set rules by which I will meet - including one awful night after a terrible shag where I lay awake waiting for enough alcohol to leave my system to be safe to drive home!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I just add to this that the above should not only be exclusive to women

Us men should also take notice.

I always let a mate know if I am meeting someone - not that he's interested - but at least someone, somewhere knows where I'm at !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just add to this that the above should not only be exclusive to women

Us men should also take notice.

I always let a mate know if I am meeting someone - not that he's interested - but at least someone, somewhere knows where I'm at !"

All very good advice. Thank you OP.

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By *empting Devil. OP Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Can I just add to this that the above should not only be exclusive to women

Us men should also take notice.

I always let a mate know if I am meeting someone - not that he's interested - but at least someone, somewhere knows where I'm at !"

My safety friend is my best mate who happens to be a lesbian. When she gets a message from me with meet details in she the sends out a mass text to lots of friends telling them the tart is at it again! I suspect the next time I walk into our local gay club Ill get a round of applause!

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I always send a safety text to let a friend know I am ok. However, it was pointed out to me that if someone is holding me against my will, then they will make sure I type I am ok. So my safety message always says something negative, if my friend recieves a message that is positive he knows something is actually wrong!

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By *empting Devil. OP Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I always send a safety text to let a friend know I am ok. However, it was pointed out to me that if someone is holding me against my will, then they will make sure I type I am ok. So my safety message always says something negative, if my friend recieves a message that is positive he knows something is actually wrong!"

Cunning!

My friend expects to speak to me. And she usually berates me for being a slut! If I was being held she would be able to tell. But I am lucky that my safety friend knows me so well (and in spite of the abuse she doesn't judge

)

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By *thlete0Couple
over a year ago

southend

actually wrong!"

Wow very clever!!

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Great post for all members to read.

Just read on sky news about the woman down south who had her flat rented out, ersonal belongings stolen and a stranger pretending to be her brother, was found murdered in the back seat of a car. She alledgedly was meeting people from the internet so anyone who takes a minute to text a safety text could actually save their life.

Stay safe all x

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

All very good advice - it's a shame we can't have "sticky" threads as this would be a good one for everyone to read.

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By *ayseanMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Fantastic advice,absolutely spot on i think,and must agree with another post that men should also have a safety net just in case,tho the majority of people are genuine,there s always the chance you may meet someone dodgy,so take the advised precautions,take care all

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