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"Same here bro I am taking my time to read everything before I even think of writing to ladies when a lady matches what I like and seek both physical appearance and what they are searching for I write to them and introduce myself in a mannered way with respect and nothing happens afterwards" If you're doing all that there's not much more you can do except understand that there are far more guys here than females/couples so the odds are still tough. It is also worth remmebering that the a 'no reply should be taken as a polite no thanks' rather than a personal insult. We try to reply to all decent messages but sometimes they do get forgotten. We don't spend much time here now so don't get as many as we used to but the task of reading/answering dozens of messages is very daunting and it may just be that's what's happening to you. | |||
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"The problem is a lot of women have been 'burnt' before. Lots of us aren't meeting yet but if we reply to a message we get hassled to meet, if we read but don't reply immediately we get an abusive message usually with name calling and sometimes we are online but are just browsing the forums. I know that is tarring all men with the same brush and you might know you are a decent bloke but we get so many crude and abusive messages we can't always tell. Good luck" 100% this. | |||
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"OP - when you get spam email do you read it to see if it's interesting or just bin it all? When you send a message here the recipient can view your profile without reading your message. If you don't fit their needs for some reason then they're unlikely to get back to you and explain. Our profile clearly sets out our requirements (eg age range, distance, sexuality etc.) so when we get a message we view the sender's profile to find out if they meet them. If they don't we just ignore their message. That may seem harsh but if they'd read our profile in the first place they would have known we're not compatible. If we're asking for a 40+, straight, non smoker local to N. Kent for example, why would we bother replying to a 21 year old, bi guy smoker from Glasgow? " this | |||
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"It's pretty obvious to us why you're getting ignored, it's the married thing. If you've got no respect for your own wife then you're hardly going to have any respect for randoms on here. I know you say you've got a "story" but no one wants to be responsible for potentially ruining someone's life." oh I missed that bit | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts" I always good to be honest. Maybe try being honest with your wife? | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts" Yes, people don't know your personal story or reason why you swing. But a lot of people just don't want the possible trouble of getting involved with a married man, even on a one-off basis. You asked for advice and you have been given some. Just because you don't like what you are being told, there is no need to throw your toys out of the pram and call people "judgemental". | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts Yes, people don't know your personal story or reason why you swing. But a lot of people just don't want the possible trouble of getting involved with a married man, even on a one-off basis. You asked for advice and you have been given some. Just because you don't like what you are being told, there is no need to throw your toys out of the pram and call people "judgemental". " Absolutely spot on! Unless your giving a reason, then expect people to judge you for it. Clearly not being honest if your going behind your wife's back. | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts" you will always get judged for been married and cheating, most people have been cheated on at some point in there lives or have seen the heartache it can cause so unless they know you and your circumstances you will get judged, if your wife knows about fab then put that on your profile if she doesn't then leave fab or your wife.... cheating isn't swinging!! | |||
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"So I've been on and off here for a while, guess lurking etc. So decided to take the plunge and join the masses of other blokes on here and reach out, to just a few of you lovely ladies. I took the time to send a polite, thought out message (or so I thought). Yet my messages are left unread, for weeks. I get you get vast amounts, but when your on everyday, its a bit disappointing that they are not even looking at the message......or look at my profile to decided to read or not. I don't know, its not a whinge, just confused by it all. Happy Saturday everyone, stay safe." Well its a difficult one but I think where your going wrong is messaging on here in the first place, especially at the moment. My advice to any guy on here would be don't bother messaging anyone you don't know already. I know it's a chicken and egg paradox but at least it wont lead to disappointment and frustration. Best of luck on your adventures. | |||
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"Me personally, I prefer not to meet married men because they have too many rules and restrictions. I am expected to accommodate because they can't. I am expected to drop everything and be available whenever they can get away. Usually there is limited time. It always ends up with them texting me at 7pm on Saturday night - "Hey, my wife has gone out for two hours, shall I come over?" Why would I chose to be with someone who always has to sneak around when I can meet a single guy who doesn't have those restrictions? If that is being 'judgemental' then so be it. " I've been here , I started to feel that I was running my life around the guys wives diary etc , had to pull the plug on it , I'm single and don't have to sneak around , only when I choose to tho lol | |||
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"The problem is a lot of women have been 'burnt' before. Lots of us aren't meeting yet but if we reply to a message we get hassled to meet, if we read but don't reply immediately we get an abusive message usually with name calling and sometimes we are online but are just browsing the forums. I know that is tarring all men with the same brush and you might know you are a decent bloke but we get so many crude and abusive messages we can't always tell. Good luck 100% this. " This | |||
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"So I've been on and off here for a while, guess lurking etc. So decided to take the plunge and join the masses of other blokes on here and reach out, to just a few of you lovely ladies. I took the time to send a polite, thought out message (or so I thought). Yet my messages are left unread, for weeks. I get you get vast amounts, but when your on everyday, its a bit disappointing that they are not even looking at the message......or look at my profile to decided to read or not. I don't know, its not a whinge, just confused by it all. Happy Saturday everyone, stay safe." Oh wow didn’t see the married boy yeah wouldn’t read or reply sorry | |||
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"Thank you all for your replies. It is food for thought and I do understand/appreciate what women on here go through. I can only apologise for those individuals that are pushy and abusive, and tar others on here. Thank you also to those judgemental individuals, who dont know details, but make them. As said the world would be a better place without such, but hey ho I make no excuse for being open, rather than lie. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend and stay safe x" The fact that you’re on here without your wife’s knowledge is all that is needed. Honesty is very important and you’re not being honest | |||
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"Op its fab, to put it bluntly its 'cock heavy' have no e petitions then u can't feel pissed off with unread messages... Truth of it is pandemic or no pandemic, these women your messaging, have their choice who they reply to... Good luck" Expectations** | |||
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"Me personally, I prefer not to meet married men because they have too many rules and restrictions. I am expected to accommodate because they can't. I am expected to drop everything and be available whenever they can get away. Usually there is limited time. It always ends up with them texting me at 7pm on Saturday night - "Hey, my wife has gone out for two hours, shall I come over?" Why would I chose to be with someone who always has to sneak around when I can meet a single guy who doesn't have those restrictions? If that is being 'judgemental' then so be it. I've been here , I started to feel that I was running my life around the guys wives diary etc , had to pull the plug on it , I'm single and don't have to sneak around , only when I choose to tho lol " I'm with you there although sometimes sneaking around can be fun lol | |||
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"Yes, people don't know your personal story or reason why you swing. But a lot of people just don't want the possible trouble of getting involved with a married man, even on a one-off basis. You asked for advice and you have been given some. Just because you don't like what you are being told, there is no need to throw your toys out of the pram and call people "judgemental". Not quite sure what is throwing my toys out not like the advice given. I asked for advice, and have thanked people for it. As for judgmental, yes there are some judgmental people that have made assumptions and commented as such. each to their own I suppose, and as said I appreciate ALL the replies, thoughts, and comments. Stay safe all x" We all have a personal story but we can't expect everyone to want to listen to it or sympathise if they do. There are myriad reasons why someone might choose not to meet you or even reply to your messages. That doesn't necessarily mean they're insulting you, maybe they just don't feel comfortable. Just accept that the number of available females here is small and you have a lot of competition. | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts" You need to change your perspective on this. Just because people make a decision not to meet you because you are married doesn’t mean they are negatively judging you and it certainly doesn’t make them deserving of a throwaway statement that the world would be a better place if they changed their attitude. I wouldn’t meet you. But I’m not judging you or your situation. Ultimately that’s your own business and I wish you well. However, I’m a wife myself and that is first and foremost in my mind and as a result I wouldn’t knowingly meet anyone who is here without their partners permission - because I’d be devastated if my husband was on here and regardless of your “story” I can’t move past that thought. Ultimately I’m here for myself and my husband, and it’s my decision who I meet and why. Others may have experienced the devastation of being cheated on and as a result will not knowingly meet anyone who is in another relationship regardless of the situation. You need to stop making other peoples decisions about you and remember they make the decisions _ased on their own wants and experiences. I would suggest you need to remember your own advice and don’t judge others for the decisions they make! | |||
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"Yes, people don't know your personal story or reason why you swing. But a lot of people just don't want the possible trouble of getting involved with a married man, even on a one-off basis. You asked for advice and you have been given some. Just because you don't like what you are being told, there is no need to throw your toys out of the pram and call people "judgemental". Not quite sure what is throwing my toys out not like the advice given. I asked for advice, and have thanked people for it. As for judgmental, yes there are some judgmental people that have made assumptions and commented as such. each to their own I suppose, and as said I appreciate ALL the replies, thoughts, and comments. Stay safe all x" Sounds like a I give in statement? Stay safe and don’t cross the road. | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts You need to change your perspective on this. Just because people make a decision not to meet you because you are married doesn’t mean they are negatively judging you and it certainly doesn’t make them deserving of a throwaway statement that the world would be a better place if they changed their attitude. I wouldn’t meet you. But I’m not judging you or your situation. Ultimately that’s your own business and I wish you well. However, I’m a wife myself and that is first and foremost in my mind and as a result I wouldn’t knowingly meet anyone who is here without their partners permission - because I’d be devastated if my husband was on here and regardless of your “story” I can’t move past that thought. Ultimately I’m here for myself and my husband, and it’s my decision who I meet and why. Others may have experienced the devastation of being cheated on and as a result will not knowingly meet anyone who is in another relationship regardless of the situation. You need to stop making other peoples decisions about you and remember they make the decisions _ased on their own wants and experiences. I would suggest you need to remember your own advice and don’t judge others for the decisions they make!" Nailed it! We have met a couple who were lied to and met a married man. The married cheaters fab account had nude pictures of the couple, sexy messages back and forth, the details of the meet, the poor couples home address (as they were trusting enough to host) and the verifications each party left. Sadly his wife was onto him and she got into his phone / fab account and saw everything! Let's just say it went nuclea, people's workplaces and social media were compromised and the police were eventually needed. In the wifes pain and agony of seeing all the evidence of her husbands cheating had directed most of her venom onto the poor couple (who were also lied to and just as much victims). Why the hell would any decent honest single women or loving honest swinging couple want to risk the above happening to them when there's thousands of genuine, single male swingers to pick from? I'd love to read your thoughts on this post OP. KJ | |||
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"Thanks for you reply. I'm sure everyone does have a story or circumstances behind closed doors. Perhaps if people weren't so quick to judge, especially over things they have no idea over, the world would be a better place. At least I was being honest. Again thanks for your thoughts you will always get judged for been married and cheating, most people have been cheated on at some point in there lives or have seen the heartache it can cause so unless they know you and your circumstances you will get judged, if your wife knows about fab then put that on your profile if she doesn't then leave fab or your wife.... cheating isn't swinging!!" This. End of really. Sort your home life out and you might have more success? | |||
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"The problem is a lot of women have been 'burnt' before. Lots of us aren't meeting yet but if we reply to a message we get hassled to meet, if we read but don't reply immediately we get an abusive message usually with name calling and sometimes we are online but are just browsing the forums. I know that is tarring all men with the same brush and you might know you are a decent bloke but we get so many crude and abusive messages we can't always tell. Good luck" i can’t get my head around why guys would want to treat lady’s like that would they like there sister to be treated the same I doubt it very much. | |||
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"So I've been on and off here for a while, guess lurking etc. So decided to take the plunge and join the masses of other blokes on here and reach out, to just a few of you lovely ladies. I took the time to send a polite, thought out message (or so I thought). Yet my messages are left unread, for weeks. I get you get vast amounts, but when your on everyday, its a bit disappointing that they are not even looking at the message......or look at my profile to decided to read or not. I don't know, its not a whinge, just confused by it all. Happy Saturday everyone, stay safe." Don't come on every day if it's getting to you and Don't make fab the sole focus of your sex life (when allowed) or life in general. Enjoy your social life with friends and colleagues and flirt with women away from fab so even if you don't get lucky you've still had a good night. So many people seem to spend weekends on here and miss out on life Keep fab as something that's a bit of fun and not the main focus Good luck | |||
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"_kon "You look in good shape but we suspect you’re older than your stated age ." Thank you for your reply, as with all of posts and although I know some don't believe it, I do actually appreciate the comments. After all free speech etc is a right. And yes I am actually the stated age, I had a hard paper round and my job is a B$£%! Stay safe x" And there's the reason you wont get meets remember the green arrow | |||
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"So now you know what to expect when posting on the forums OP. Some will advise, some will judge. I think most men on here know exactly how you feel regarding unread messages, especially when you feel you've taken the time to write a decent message! You're not doing anything wrong in that respect, it's just how it is on here. The no reply = no interest applies, and even read messages can be marked as unread again, so maybe some of your messages were read, but to no avail as yet. Make a note off their profiles if your message was read/deleted. It might be worth sending a second message to unread instances after a while. I'm sure you will eventually get a positive result, so don't be put off or dwell on the matter, as frustrating as it may be. Good luck! " sorry I hate persistent messages... I usually block them if they keep messaging.. I once got a guy sending 12 messages over 2 months saying "good morning" it was just getting too much.. usually no response means not interested... just block them and move on if you can't remember who you messaged. | |||
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"So I've been on and off here for a while, guess lurking etc. So decided to take the plunge and join the masses of other blokes on here and reach out, to just a few of you lovely ladies. I took the time to send a polite, thought out message (or so I thought). Yet my messages are left unread, for weeks. I get you get vast amounts, but when your on everyday, its a bit disappointing that they are not even looking at the message......or look at my profile to decided to read or not. I don't know, its not a whinge, just confused by it all. Happy Saturday everyone, stay safe. Don't come on every day if it's getting to you and Don't make fab the sole focus of your sex life (when allowed) or life in general. Enjoy your social life with friends and colleagues and flirt with women away from fab so even if you don't get lucky you've still had a good night. So many people seem to spend weekends on here and miss out on life Keep fab as something that's a bit of fun and not the main focus Good luck " easy said than done when we all been in a 3 month strict lockdown | |||
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"So now you know what to expect when posting on the forums OP. Some will advise, some will judge. I think most men on here know exactly how you feel regarding unread messages, especially when you feel you've taken the time to write a decent message! You're not doing anything wrong in that respect, it's just how it is on here. The no reply = no interest applies, and even read messages can be marked as unread again, so maybe some of your messages were read, but to no avail as yet. Make a note off their profiles if your message was read/deleted. It might be worth sending a second message to unread instances after a while. I'm sure you will eventually get a positive result, so don't be put off or dwell on the matter, as frustrating as it may be. Good luck! sorry I hate persistent messages... I usually block them if they keep messaging.. I once got a guy sending 12 messages over 2 months saying "good morning" it was just getting too much.. usually no response means not interested... just block them and move on if you can't remember who you messaged. " Maybe my suggestion of a second message was misleading, I might send a second message maybe after a couple of months, only if first was unread. I've never pestered anyone! Example would be, I sent a second message a few days ago, explaining I'd messaged in the past but no reply. Apologies if no interest was the reason. Got a reply, hadn't seen my first message, still messaging daily now, looking forward to meeting when safe. Most unread messages just drop off the list, so I don't see a second message 2/3/4 or 5 months after the first qualifies as persistent. Hope that clarifies my post | |||
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"So now you know what to expect when posting on the forums OP. Some will advise, some will judge. I think most men on here know exactly how you feel regarding unread messages, especially when you feel you've taken the time to write a decent message! You're not doing anything wrong in that respect, it's just how it is on here. The no reply = no interest applies, and even read messages can be marked as unread again, so maybe some of your messages were read, but to no avail as yet. Make a note off their profiles if your message was read/deleted. It might be worth sending a second message to unread instances after a while. I'm sure you will eventually get a positive result, so don't be put off or dwell on the matter, as frustrating as it may be. Good luck! sorry I hate persistent messages... I usually block them if they keep messaging.. I once got a guy sending 12 messages over 2 months saying "good morning" it was just getting too much.. usually no response means not interested... just block them and move on if you can't remember who you messaged. " Persistent messages will get you blocked - I had one guy who sent me the same message every day for a month!! | |||
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"So now you know what to expect when posting on the forums OP. Some will advise, some will judge. I think most men on here know exactly how you feel regarding unread messages, especially when you feel you've taken the time to write a decent message! You're not doing anything wrong in that respect, it's just how it is on here. The no reply = no interest applies, and even read messages can be marked as unread again, so maybe some of your messages were read, but to no avail as yet. Make a note off their profiles if your message was read/deleted. It might be worth sending a second message to unread instances after a while. I'm sure you will eventually get a positive result, so don't be put off or dwell on the matter, as frustrating as it may be. Good luck! sorry I hate persistent messages... I usually block them if they keep messaging.. I once got a guy sending 12 messages over 2 months saying "good morning" it was just getting too much.. usually no response means not interested... just block them and move on if you can't remember who you messaged. Persistent messages will get you blocked - I had one guy who sent me the same message every day for a month!!" and it took you a month to decide to block him ? 3 days here I'd have hit the block button | |||
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