FabSwingers.com forum: Still struggling

By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Hi all, I been on here for about 6 months now and have not had a meet or got anywhere near a meet with any ladies.

It's has really bashed the confidence, as I do get attention on nites out but on here nothing at all. Always thought that I wasn't bad looking but i must be wrong or something.

Also there seems to be more and more women stating that they are not into asians, surely there are some women on here who don't mind brown guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you have the wrong idea of a "swingers" site.. it's not all going to be "pick up and shag".

Perhaps you should dedicate your time to pulling on a night out.

Alternatively stop hiding behind a pc screen to find meets and go to a swing club or social to meet real people who play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said its not a site where u sign up and expect to fuck straight off respect the people on here and you may be lucky

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

That's not what I want just a shag. I want to get to know a lady so that we can meet for some regular NSA fun. But I get no replys to my messages, or if I do which is very rare they are not intrested which is fair enough.

The clubs & socials is something I wasn't to try but shy about it all as I have never been and don't know anyone who has, so a bit scary for a single guy with not much confidence at the mo.

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By *orth West CoupleCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"That's not what I want just a shag. I want to get to know a lady so that we can meet for some regular NSA fun. But I get no replys to my messages, or if I do which is very rare they are not intrested which is fair enough.

The clubs & socials is something I wasn't to try but shy about it all as I have never been and don't know anyone who has, so a bit scary for a single guy with not much confidence at the mo."

"That's not what I want just a shag. I want to get to know a lady so that we can meet for some regular NSA fun." .....Translated= A Shag....... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

concentrate on getting a meet, not someoene regular, even if they say on their profile that is what they want, chances are its only a select few who are going to become the regulars

ive been with quite a few people on here now, and its rare you find those who will be weighing you up for a regular before you have met,

if you want a regular the best way is to not mention about doing anything regular at all before you have met, have your meet, give them the best time you can in the bedroom and outside the bedroom (if they like the social side as well - everyones different) then im sure if you blow them away they will want to meet again if they want to do anything regular

can be off putting to alot of the ladies from guys who just had one meet and they are thinking I will be the regular they want or/and lets become a couple on here

can make people run a mile. if they want to do something again or be regular im sure they will say something or try to arrange again and keep up contact

if they dont they will probs not speak again or phase you out or avoid making anymore arrangements with you

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

I totally understand that and respect everyone on here, hence why I send out polite messages asking to chat and get to know each other a bit. Never asked for a meet straight off as I think that's a bit rude, actually not even got to know anyone well enough to ask for a meet. Not even getting any chances to get to know any ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The clubs & socials is something I wasn't to try but shy about it all as I have never been and don't know anyone who has, so a bit scary for a single guy with not much confidence at the mo.

"That's not what I want just a shag. I want to get to know a lady so that we can meet for some regular NSA fun." .....Translated= A Shag....... lol

AKA a fuck buddy shag.

Seriously, clubs and socials are what you make of them, and they are no pressure, no expectation environments - if your too scared or just scared.. is this really for you?

Personally i would be more inclined to find the single pulling scene more daunting than the swingers club/social scene, as people from the swingers scene are far more open and friendly.

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Lol I meant I didn't want to meet some random lady on a d*unken nite out.

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Thank robbies. True need to start from the bottom which is what I'm trying by asking to get to know to hopefully lead up for a social meet to start. But finding any ladies who is intrested in me where im having a problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It just takes time - unless you put something on display that is totally droolworthy. Keep at it, don't let it do your confidence or get you down. Keep a level head on it and you'll win through.

Good luck

Wolf

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Thanks wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will be people who won't meet you because you are Asian, but don't take it to be the main reason, it's not. Equally people won't meet you because you smoke, or are short.

You have to remember that if this were a club, you would be on guy in a room of 5000 single men, with 100 women, 99 of whom were there with their boyfriend. 40 of those won't meet an asian. 30 won't meet a smoker. 15 will be put off by your height.

It just isn't good odds.

Your profile does nothing to elevate you above anyone else, it's not bad, but it's nothing special.

But persevere if you want as, eventually, someone will meet you. You don't seem like a twat, unlike most men on here. That counts for something.

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Thanks cambs I try not to be lol.

Anyone got any advice about my profile? What could I change to make it better and more appealing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really, sorry

Maybe spend an hour looking at other single male profiles, to see what you think works?

On thebright side, it'll let you see you are nowhere near the bottom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A single female is usually on here because she likes sex and likes variety. I wouldn't meet someone who said they were looking for a regular playmate from the off. That sort of thing evolves with time...if you like it you go back for more.

I think maybe you'd do better on a dating site. And lets face it, a lot on those sites are after sex as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks cambs I try not to be lol.

Anyone got any advice about my profile? What could I change to make it better and more appealing?"

This WILL help immensely - get some verifications - even if you dont play with people, ones to say you are a nice guy, and you meet somewhere - gives an impression you are real and genuine.

Find a social to go to.. speak with people make friends, network, be polite, be friendly, be chatty but give people space dont linger around them.

Do that even if you dont fancy them..talk with other single guys, couples and single girls - they could put you into contact with others (parties etc).

By the way - lots of single girls profiles on here are fake, and will string you along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

patience patience patience thick skin sense of humour polite curtious and dont take things serious or personal sometimes oral sex is infact stimulating conversation lol

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Thanks, cambs, bifem, thrill & dark definitely some food for thought there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To add just a word about your profile - if you look at other's, do it only as a guide. A while back someone copied another guys profile word-for-word verbatim - that *isn't* the way to do it.

Think of how you want to portray yourself to others, think about your hopes and aims within the scene. Tell people a bit about yourself and think *personality* rather than raw statistics. Use your imagination and don't put things like 'will fill it in later' or 'ask and I'll tell you'. Think about the people you want to meet, and tell them why they should meet you - what you can bring to them in an engaging and positive way.

Finally, don't copy that bit others have about Sydney University. It's a waste of time in the real world.

I write our profiles

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think maybe you'd do better on a dating site. And lets face it, a lot on those sites are after sex as well! "

I work with a girl who i son match, she's had 3 dates in the last two weeks and slept with all three.

arguably it's a hell of a lot easier than here!

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By *uteguy06 OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon

This evening I will do some work on my profile see if I can improve it.

Dating sites are more towards relationships which I'm not after.

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