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performance anxiety

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By *obblybits OP   Couple
over a year ago

huddersfield

has anyone had this

we are verry new to this and both feel anxiety about swinging. hubby dosnt want to try viagra oranything but was wondering if there is a more herbal method (not drung) would just like a bit of advice realy.

thank you

michelle and martyn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't rush into a meet, arrange to meet for a chat and a drink the first time, see how you get along, if good then arrange a meet one night, chat and build it up slowly, allow nerves to disappear naturally.

or go straight for it, don't think about the scenario, just focus on getting laid, then go for it.

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By *obblybits OP   Couple
over a year ago

huddersfield

thank you.

we have 2 meets planned end of themonth and in nove for a group meet. so we will take it slow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thank you.

we have 2 meets planned end of themonth and in nove for a group meet. so we will take it slow"

There's a point, parties can help, nobody is expected to play but with things going on around you if you just take in the scene you will be on your way.

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

i was always nervous when we started and i found a couple of beers helped, i dont mean getting shit faced but just a couple helped me feel a lot more relaxed, another thing i used to do was concentrate on what hannah was getting up to as mich as what i was doing, allways loved watching so that stoked the fires a bit lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been swinging for some seven years now and really have got over the nerve business.

That said, those that put great emphasis on penetration alone for enjoyment of a swinging session are possibly worrying too much - that alone can lead to failure.

There is so much fun to be had and if things are right (and you don't loose it putting on the condom) then penetration is a good way to finish off.

Just get stuck in - (no pun intended), enjoy the session - if the time is right early in the session, go for it but do not climax, pull back, continue the play and if, when the session has run long enough (three or more hours or so), then consider going for the grand slam - but certainly do not fret about it, as long as you have given pleasure in other ways, not climaxing at the end is not a failure and can sometimes be a boon to finish off with your own partner later when everyone has gone home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't tell if this is an experience you have had or are preempting?

If the latter then just don't worry about it too much. I was soo ridiculously nervous the first two meets I had it almost wasn't funny. They are quite opposing examples however...

The first was with a couple, took me about 15 minutes outside the pub I was meeting them in, smoking lots of fags before I went in... they calmed me a fair bit in the pub and when we got back to theirs she just went for it so I didn't really get time for nervousness.

Second one I drove a long way to a lady's house, she could tell I was nervous, we chatted a bit, went upstairs and spent about the first hour or so kissing mostly with a bit of fondling too.

Both ways worked fine and despite mass anxiety I had no problems. I say just go for it, if you are feeling too nervous you can always say so.

Might just add that alot of people will tell you that they still get some nerves after doing it for years, I still do, its perfectly normal.

Hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a bit like parachuting ,, i did over two hundred jumps and got nerves b4 each ,,

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Its a problem that effects all guys from time to time no matter how experienced they are with others. I've had it myself, not totally flaccid but again not stiff enough for penetration.

You have to relax, the more worried you get about it the worse it will be. Just go with the flow and accept what happens.

Now this is something that affects me all of the time. Swing with couples no problem at all, swing with wife or other couple in a club and I will never ejaculate no matter how much I try! Strange or what? get home/hotel, no problem starting over and cumming in buckets

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

We found that if the atmosphere and surroundings are not right then it won't be a pleasant experience, I also think it depends on whether you're leader's or follower's, for example, we're followers in our early days of meeting we waited and waited for our meet to make the 1st move, this just caused more and more anxiety, from our experience it's best to be honest with meet;s up front most meets are understanding, it's nothing to do with not being able to perform, it's about over coming the anxiety which most of us suffer from.

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By *obblybits OP   Couple
over a year ago

huddersfield

thank you all so much

hubby and I have read through all the posts and feel abit more relaxed about it all. we are both veryexsited to meet people, would defenently take it slow.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck _obblybits.

There is some interesting points in the comments here - especially about the "leaders and followers".

We found that when we meet up with a couple specifically for fun, having all agreed before hand, that if things have not started naturally after about an hour then we get things moving ourselves either by just making the first move or just suggesting that we move into the bedroom.

Remember the other couple are possibly just as keyed up and as keen as you are or they would not be with you LOL.

All the best.

Kate and Paul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a single male and quite new to the site and scene, i've had 2 meets and have had a ballbag full of nerves on both occasions. i met a cpl and we chatted for a while, i made it clear that they carry on and "bring me in" when ready. Fortunately my nerves went soon after. the second meet was with a woman and we pretty well started asap so no problem ther. no doubt i'm going to have trouble in the future, just dreading it when it does happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tony, it's it's sticking up mate, just put in the burd, don't be shy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have erection problems due to diabetes, sure it doesnt always work but I have never left a woman wanting as I can pleasure for hours hard or not, however the virile guys that have met my partner have often been as hard as a rock, cum in 5 mins and left her covered in it and gagging for more and cut our meeting short!

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