FabSwingers.com forum: More than desire

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What I feel for her is more than desire

More than lust

More than carnal urges.

What I feel for her is less than love

Less than yearning

Less than adulation or adoration.

What I feel for her is more than friendship

More than fondness

More than affection and attraction.

What I feel for her is less than devotion

Less than worship

Less than intense passion.

What I feel for her is undefinable

Indescribable

Confusing and mystifying.

What I feel for her is very real

All-consuming

Potent and powerful.

What I feel for her cannot be ignored

But without explanation

What I feel for her has no words.

I posted this poem (which I have just literally written, so forgive that it is rough around the edges) because I thought it explained my dilemma quite well.

As a quick history:

I met the lady in question during the end of my first year of university in 2006 and we have remained friends ever since.

We have never both been single at the same time, though we went on a date back in 2006 (I asked her out) which did not go well due to a misunderstanding.

After this she did tell me that she had no desire to begin a relationship with a married woman.

We lost touch for a while, but after I split with my husband, I saw her a lot as I began socialising a lot more.

However she was in a long term relationship with a girl so nothing happened between us, though she did say to me one night when d*unk "You make me wish I was single."

When her relationship ended in late 2009, I had already begun dating my current boyfriend.

However, a d*unken unexpected (and very pleasant) threesome occurred with her, me and my boyf in April 2010.

After the experience, she called me beautiful and said that she couldn't believe I would even look twice at her (she was still quite d*unk though).

Since then we know that she has told a few of her friends of the experience, and we came out rather favourably in the review.

Both myself and the boyfriend were initially quite close to her directly after the event, but she has slowly distanced herself, whilst remaining our friend.

I have come to realise that I would like to pursue her in some form of poly way i.e. not necessarily as part of the threesomes that we tend towards.

I refer to the poem with regards to my lack of definition for how I feel.

What do I do?

I have told two people thus far, my partner and our close friend, and both think I should tell her....but tell her what? And how? I am afraid of rejection but more importantly, I'm afraid that it will change our friendship if she is not interested.

Help would be gratefully received

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dunno what id do,, however loves that poem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is not a dress rehearsal... Live it... Now!!

Worst she can say is no...

Find a way...

Good luck...

;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shud ask yourself what do you want? I mean if you do persue this and she does not want to go further with it can you handle it? Is it worth the risk? I really hope things work out for you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"dunno what id do,, however loves that poem

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd find a way if I could find the words. How do you tell someone something you can't define?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Life is not a dress rehearsal... Live it... Now!!

Worst she can say is no...

Find a way...

Good luck...

;-)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd find a way if I could find the words. How do you tell someone something you can't define?

"
I think that you just did. I mean read that poem to her it's beautiful and honest isn't it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd find a way if I could find the words. How do you tell someone something you can't define?

I think that you just did. I mean read that poem to her it's beautiful and honest isn't it

Oh thank you...I never thought of that. Kind of obvious really.....but now I'm scared

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd find a way if I could find the words. How do you tell someone something you can't define?

I think that you just did. I mean read that poem to her it's beautiful and honest isn't it

Oh thank you...I never thought of that. Kind of obvious really.....but now I'm scared

"
I can understand that but wouldn't you want her to know how you feel even if she dusnt feel the same at least you will know instead of wondering what if either way you will have closure and it sounds like that's what you need

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

As long as it hangs between you unspoken there will be a moment when you realise the friendship has been altered anyway. It's not easy but if you are content to let things lie then say nothing. If you can't then give her the poem and see what she says.

It can work out but it might not... life is a risk and all of those nearing the end say the things they regret are the things not done or not said.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd find a way if I could find the words. How do you tell someone something you can't define?

I think that you just did. I mean read that poem to her it's beautiful and honest isn't it

Oh thank you...I never thought of that. Kind of obvious really.....but now I'm scared

I can understand that but wouldn't you want her to know how you feel even if she dusnt feel the same at least you will know instead of wondering what if either way you will have closure and it sounds like that's what you need

This is true. Something stops me though. I think it's just fear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Most of you seem to think I should tell her. Oh god, I have to tell her

Thank you for the support. It has helped. Oh and thanks for the compliments about my poem. I don't normally write poetry (more an erotica writer actually) but it felt right this time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fear is a strong thing it's the difference between getting what you want and wondering what you cud of had only you can beat it and no matter what anybody else says it's down to you just remember it's your life you gotta do what's rite for you x I wish you all the luck in the world and I really hope you get what you need may not be what you want but it will be what you need at least you will know Hun x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I sent the poem to her via facebook private message just this second. Now all I can do is wait and hope this doesn't end badly.

Thank you to all of you for your advice.

I will keep you posted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sent the poem to her via facebook private message just this second. Now all I can do is wait and hope this doesn't end badly.

Thank you to all of you for your advice.

I will keep you posted

"
I really hope it goes well for you hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck - it was beautiful by the way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks Minx

Alas, the lady in question has not responded to my poem, which I suppose means she is not interested.

However, I have noticed that she has been more actively posting against my fb statuses and indeed my boyfriend's. I have no idea if it is coicidence or a hint or what. Meh, I give up trying to analyse women (and I AM one!)

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