Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swinging Support and Advice |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need some advice, I used a small metal butt plug on a lady, (barely bigger then a thumb) it was her first time with any kind of anal play, I was very slow and gentle, using ample lube. It was quite painful for her and trying to have sex with it in really hurt. Now I have had anal with a few people and even taken toys ect myself , it was uncomfortable at first but pleasurable. Should anal be painful or could this be a symptom of something worse. " It shouldn’t be painful. If she bled; that potentially serious. If not you’ve probably hurt the muscle. It takes time to relax even for something small. Lube is NOT a substitute for replacing the muscle. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need some advice, I used a small metal butt plug on a lady, (barely bigger then a thumb) it was her first time with any kind of anal play, I was very slow and gentle, using ample lube. It was quite painful for her and trying to have sex with it in really hurt. Now I have had anal with a few people and even taken toys ect myself , it was uncomfortable at first but pleasurable. Should anal be painful or could this be a symptom of something worse. It shouldn’t be painful. If she bled; that potentially serious. If not you’ve probably hurt the muscle. It takes time to relax even for something small. Lube is NOT a substitute for replacing the muscle. " There was no bleeding, and she was relaxed, which is what has puzzled me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need some advice, I used a small metal butt plug on a lady, (barely bigger then a thumb) it was her first time with any kind of anal play, I was very slow and gentle, using ample lube. It was quite painful for her and trying to have sex with it in really hurt. Now I have had anal with a few people and even taken toys ect myself , it was uncomfortable at first but pleasurable. Should anal be painful or could this be a symptom of something worse. " Always a bit more risk with something hard like metal or glass, try a small silicone anal trainer and work up. And make sure she's totally relaxed of course. If it's still painful then get it checked, could be something as simple as internal piles. Best of luck to you both! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need some advice, I used a small metal butt plug on a lady, (barely bigger then a thumb) it was her first time with any kind of anal play, I was very slow and gentle, using ample lube. It was quite painful for her and trying to have sex with it in really hurt. Now I have had anal with a few people and even taken toys ect myself , it was uncomfortable at first but pleasurable. Should anal be painful or could this be a symptom of something worse. Always a bit more risk with something hard like metal or glass, try a small silicone anal trainer and work up. And make sure she's totally relaxed of course. If it's still painful then get it checked, could be something as simple as internal piles. Best of luck to you both! " Cheers, think we might take a few days off | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need some advice, I used a small metal butt plug on a lady, (barely bigger then a thumb) it was her first time with any kind of anal play, I was very slow and gentle, using ample lube. It was quite painful for her and trying to have sex with it in really hurt. Now I have had anal with a few people and even taken toys ect myself , it was uncomfortable at first but pleasurable. Should anal be painful or could this be a symptom of something worse. It shouldn’t be painful. If she bled; that potentially serious. If not you’ve probably hurt the muscle. It takes time to relax even for something small. Lube is NOT a substitute for replacing the muscle. There was no bleeding, and she was relaxed, which is what has puzzled me" It’s one thing being relaxed in yourself but your sphincter may have other ideas | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Best to use a anal numbing lube which relaxes the muscles and numbs the splinter,i take fist but u need to relax and train your body that u realy do want it. " OP, please don’t do this. If she’s having problems, the solution isn’t to numb the area, as this could mean she can’t feel damage being done. She’s also likely yo be more tense next time because it hurt this time. Try a training set starting with a very small plug, and make sure she’s very aroused and preferably had a few orgasms first - I find that helps to relax me enough. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Best to use a anal numbing lube which relaxes the muscles and numbs the splinter,i take fist but u need to relax and train your body that u realy do want it. OP, please don’t do this. If she’s having problems, the solution isn’t to numb the area, as this could mean she can’t feel damage being done. She’s also likely yo be more tense next time because it hurt this time. Try a training set starting with a very small plug, and make sure she’s very aroused and preferably had a few orgasms first - I find that helps to relax me enough." I second the ‘no’ to numbing creams. Try a lubed finger but don’t try to push it in. Instead place it on her entrance and apply a little pressure. Let her use her muscles to push then relax against it. She’ll then slowly learn how to control her muscles and in turn how to relax them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Maybe it's a subconscious mental thing for her. Are you sure she really wants to do it?" Sorry, so many typos in my first attempt let’s try this again..... And here’s the answer I was looking for If she genuinely wants to continue trying then there are things you can try but please give it time and just remember that not everyone gets pleasure from this even if they wanted to try it in the beginning. It’s just not pleasurable for some so please be prepared to accept that possibility and put it on the “we tried it” pile of experience. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I second the ‘no’ to numbing creams. Try a lubed finger but don’t try to push it in. Instead place it on her entrance and apply a little pressure. Let her use her muscles to push then relax against it. She’ll then slowly learn how to control her muscles and in turn how to relax them. " Fully agree with this & will add that this works well, but can need to be done over a couple of weeks, first with one finger maybe for a few days, then if comfortable for her, 2 fingers etc. etc. Everybody's body is different of course, so the time scale can be longer or shorter, but ultimately has always worked for me, with no complaints, rather the opposite | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Op I tried to reply to you directly but you've blocked guys? Anyway you say you took it slow but how slow. Try this...and I do think a softer flexible vibe be better...use lots lube and start to insert the vibe and tell her to let you know when it starts to hurt. Then stop pushing but keep the vibe in place until she tells you the pain has gone. Then push a little bit more until it hurts her again, then stop, keep the vibe in place until her pain has gone. Keep repeating this stop start process until the vibe is in her. Be prepared for this to take a long time.. Up to an hour as her pain may come within a fraction of a second of you applying pressure. Don't be in hurry to 'fuck' her with the vibe. Just let her get used to it. Start with a very small finger sized vibe if you can. It will hurt her initially but keep doing this exercise and it won't be long before the pain is lessened and it takes less stops and starts to reach full penetration. Then start increasing the size of the object you are using. As her anal muscles get used to it, they will relax and her arse will be able to take insersions with less problems. I have tried this on myself and within a week I could take a cucumber up my arse with no problem. One word of caution... Her arsehole will close up tight again with lack of use. So if you don't have regular anal sex you will have to go through this opening up process again as her arse will tighten up and will be painful for her again. So dont assume because you have managed to fuck her arse one time that if you don't fuck her arse for a few weeks that you she can take your dick again with no problem. " Good tips there, but as others have noted, stay away from the numbing cream. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need some advice, I used a small metal butt plug on a lady, (barely bigger then a thumb) it was her first time with any kind of anal play, I was very slow and gentle, using ample lube. It was quite painful for her and trying to have sex with it in really hurt. Now I have had anal with a few people and even taken toys ect myself , it was uncomfortable at first but pleasurable. Should anal be painful or could this be a symptom of something worse. It shouldn’t be painful. If she bled; that potentially serious. If not you’ve probably hurt the muscle. It takes time to relax even for something small. Lube is NOT a substitute for replacing the muscle. There was no bleeding, and she was relaxed, which is what has puzzled me It’s one thing being relaxed in yourself but your sphincter may have other ideas " Exactly | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So here's a tip, if she didn't like it just accept that as a no , like don't do it again " Try reading the posts, I didn't push anyone into anything, this is something she wanted to try. If you can't answer the question asked try keeping your opinions to yourself | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Another thought - I haven’t tried this myself but I’ve heard it recommended for the receiver to gently “push” as if going to the toilet as the giver/toy starts to enter, which is supposed to open the anus up a bit and make it easier. But like I say, I haven’t tried it so it’s not first-hand advice. Oh, and it might sound obvious, but she needs to breathe through it. Nice deep, slow breaths will help to keep the body relaxed. But as others have said, the mind can be a funny thing and even though she wanted to do it and seemed to be relaxed, it only takes a little bit of doubt to make things tense up. If she’s worried that there may be a medical problem, she should of course get it checked out, but if she has been ok since and hasn’t had any bleeding there probably isn’t anything to worry about. The first time I did anal, it really hurt during and it kept hurting for days after, including bleeding when I went to the toilet. I didn’t know enough at the time to know that wasn’t normal, so I didn’t get it checked out when I probably should have. So if in doubt, definitely check, but she probably shouldn’t be too worried." This is pretty spot on | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Best to use a anal numbing lube which relaxes the muscles and numbs the splinter,i take fist but u need to relax and train your body that u realy do want it. " Splinter! maybe sphincter? Also start with small dildo before butt plus, they do stretch a lot for a first timer. I started with 6 inch dildo and progressed with patent partner, not I can take butt plug or a thick cock no problem. Tasmin | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |