FabSwingers.com forum: What am I doing wrong?

By *osh7inch OP Man
over a year ago

birmingham

I think myself as a good looking young man who keeps himself In shape have a decent size cock have my own home so free most time unless at work I’ve messaged couples and female but never have any luck I haven’t been verified yet and close to deleting this can anyone give me any advice? I can’t have my pics as public as with my job I need a certain limit to discretion....

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By *redwilma666Couple
over a year ago

Kilbirnie

The first thing to smack you right in the face you claim your 25, but the profile says 27. Is it lies or deception

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By *osh7inch OP Man
over a year ago

birmingham

"The first thing to smack you right in the face you claim your 25, but the profile says 27. Is it lies or deception"
fixed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think myself as a good looking young man who keeps himself In shape have a decent size cock have my own home so free most time unless at work I’ve messaged couples and female but never have any luck I haven’t been verified yet and close to deleting this can anyone give me any advice? I can’t have my pics as public as with my job I need a certain limit to discretion...."

Loads of advice on other threads.

My opinion, and only an opinion, you can verify on camera in the chat rooms so that should r me an option. No one is meeting so what is it you’re looking for? Your profile text doesn’t stand out, what do you want and what can you give. Make it personal to you. If people moan in a profile even about verifications it can put people off.

Enjoy the site during this time, make connections in chat rooms and forums and who knows what may happen

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

You joined during a time when play meets are illegal - did you expect to meet during lockdown?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

" I haven’t been verified yet and close to deleting this can anyone give me any advice? "

Your profile says "not new here so know how it works. I have lost all my verifications"

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

At the risk of sounding unhelpful, where you're going wrong is being another guy on a swinging site. There are hundreds of guys, many of whom are reasonably decent looking and with a decent size cock. Unfortunately on here you're just one of many, and its easy to get lost amongst the masses of similar guys in women's inboxes.

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By *osh7inch OP Man
over a year ago

birmingham

Of course not but I’m trying to organise a meet for when these restrictions disappear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I haven’t been verified yet and close to deleting this can anyone give me any advice?

Your profile says "not new here so know how it works. I have lost all my verifications""

This OP.

Your post contradicts the info on your profile.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Of course not but I’m trying to organise a meet for when these restrictions disappear "

How do you know when that will be?

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

OP.

You claim to know how the site works, but you're asking where have you gone wrong?

Thus, if you know how the site works, you don't need our help! Isn't that right?

You've been on for 4 months. For most Single Guys, it can take a year minimum to get a response - that was even pre-Covid!

Your profile has 4 lines in its content. Four lines which tell any potential meet person(s) nothing about what you'd offer at a meet, let alone what you"d expect in return.

But think of Meets in general in those 4 months. They haven't been happening! Nor are they going to whilst current meeting up rules and restrictions are in place.

So, you are trying to source future meetings for when you can meet? Dream on! People are not interested.

It's that simple!

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

We aren’t currently meeting so our photos are off at the moment but you really need to stand out with the photos you present. If your 27 you should be able to take a decent selfie or two

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Well being verified can help so are options to get too know each other via chatting before I met my first we chatted constantly 6 months solid before meeting temptation was there but holding back was teasing for both till the right moment came along at the drop off a hat and was well worth the wait and you can always send pictures via chat once you feel comfortable as chatting is part of the chemistry so I myself if I was you I wouldn't rush to delete your account and this year has been a terrible year for all especially for meeting others so have a little faith pal

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By *bwlookingforfunWoman
over a year ago

crawley

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

We aren’t currently meeting so our photos are off at the moment but you really need to stand out with the photos you present. If your 27 you should be able to take a decent selfie or two "

This 100%. We all want to have fun, don't state the obvious. Try to sell yourself a bit on your profile.

Add some pics with better background. Talk to people on cam/forums.

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By *ustforfun1759Couple
over a year ago

IRVINE

Don't be too quick wanting a response,for a single guy it can take months to even get a hi back from someone,take it a day at a time get to know the women on here first make plans to have a social and make your profile exciting

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

You need to actually write a profile. I guarantee someone on this site has the exact same wording virtually.

You need to tell readers about yourself and why makes you stand out.

No one cares about if you’ve ‘been here before’ and ‘know how the site works’

If you had veris, why did you leave to loose them? Veris are like gold for single guys!

Take a look at the forums. Join in the conversation, you’ll meet more people that way!

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By *UTTERFLY EVENTSWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"At the risk of sounding unhelpful, where you're going wrong is being another guy on a swinging site. There are hundreds of guys, many of whom are reasonably decent looking and with a decent size cock. Unfortunately on here you're just one of many, and its easy to get lost amongst the masses of similar guys in women's inboxes."

This

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Of course not but I’m trying to organise a meet for when these restrictions disappear "

Probably be best to do that once the restrictions have disappeared since no one knows how long that piece of string is.

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By *osh7inch OP Man
over a year ago

birmingham

Well guys some of you are clearly just simply rude so what if I got socks on In My pic doesn’t make me unmeetable and guys I can’t predict the future I don’t know when I can meet clearly but I would like to speak to people for when the time is right! I lost my verifications as I deleted my old profile and thanks anyone who give me genuine advice I’ll add more detail to my profile!

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By *osh7inch OP Man
over a year ago

birmingham

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

We aren’t currently meeting so our photos are off at the moment but you really need to stand out with the photos you present. If your 27 you should be able to take a decent selfie or two "
. FYI my house is clean I was clearly about to get in the shower but thanks for judging!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

The poster said your bathroom was messy, not dirty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the advise for using forums, cams and chat rooms. I haven’t had a ton of success on here myself. But using the above will get you recognised by other members and should start some positive vibes for you.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Well guys some of you are clearly just simply rude so what if I got socks on In My pic doesn’t make me unmeetable and guys I can’t predict the future I don’t know when I can meet clearly but I would like to speak to people for when the time is right! I lost my verifications as I deleted my old profile and thanks anyone who give me genuine advice I’ll add more detail to my profile! "

It's not rude to point out that planning for meets (with total strangers) at some unknown time in the far distant future is not an attractive prospect for many women & couples here.

Good luck with whatever advice you choose to follow.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

The only thing I think you're doing wrong is having to high expectations.

Men out number women by a huge % and it's not unknown of for women to get literally hundreds and hundreds of messages a day.

And then throw in a global pandemic when people can't meet I think you have the answer.

Join in the forums with positive posts not moaning ones saying you might leave and sloooowly build friends over a period of months.

Still no guarantee of a meet when it's allowed but at least you've made friends along the way.

As soon as fab becomes a chore and starts getting you i would take a break from it as it's meant to be fun.

Good luck

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By *aturing bullMan
over a year ago

TOOTING

I am sorry you feel offended. I would like to think none of the responders to your post where trying to hurt your feelings. Still, you wanted comments and you have received them. Good luck.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

We aren’t currently meeting so our photos are off at the moment but you really need to stand out with the photos you present. If your 27 you should be able to take a decent selfie or two . FYI my house is clean I was clearly about to get in the shower but thanks for judging! "

You asked for opinions we gave you ours. Good luck wearing your socks in the shower .

And if we think this way you can be sure many others will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s no magic potion.....you just need to keep plugging away.

Write a meaningful profile and show some of your personality in it, keep your pics fresh, use the forums, get to know people in chat (you may get some verifications back from that), message people you’re interested in but do so with the view that a reply is a bonus, not a given.

It will take time to get some traction here, but it will come.....you just have to find the people you click with. The first time I was here I had DM conversations but they never ran too long; this time around I have multiple DM conversations, one well over 100 messages long.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

"The first thing to smack you right in the face you claim your 25, but the profile says 27. Is it lies or deception"

Closely followed by "not new here so know how it works" then your asking for advice to why it's not working for you.

If you've been here before you know exactly how this works as a single man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your writing on here in your original post is longer than your profile! You need more detail and substance in your profile op. If you had an old profile with veris can you put the same detail you had last time as that seemed to work.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Personally I'm not keen to ask people for photos or info since this can result in an unwanted message exchange... so I prefer profiles with more information and photos up front.

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

Most women dont like men stating thier cock size in thier user name.

Some nice clothed pics would be nice... get creative and have fun with your photos.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

That is a genuine advice ! It’s not judging . Your socks and whatever is on the floor are the first things I noticed when I read this thread last night and I’m probably not the only one .

Your photos and your profile are your only tools to make an impression so use them well .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

You asked where you are going wrong and believe us that picture is one of the big things your doing wrong. The user was helping you out. People judge you on your profile text (none existent atm) and your pictures. If you can't handle that then this is definitely not the site for you buddy.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Most women dont like men stating thier cock size in thier user name.

Shows how old I am. I thought 7 inch meant he had the single, not the album.

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

"Most women dont like men stating thier cock size in thier user name.

Shows how old I am. I thought 7 inch meant he had the single, not the album. "

Haha I think I remember those

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

OP, you joined this site at the time when there's this little virus floating around, spoiling all the fun. And even though you are saying you'd like to arrange meets for when the restrictions are lifted, but because nobody knows when it's going to be, most people don't want to talk forever. Just join in with the forums, get yourself recognised and work on your profile. Good luck.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

Chill josh, don't rise to the bait.

A lot of women will read people's forum posts and attitude and decide if they're a potential meet partner or not on this alone.

Just remember if someone posts negative comments it's their issue not yours.

I've seen this a lot and the best posters turn it around by using humour rather than attack back

Life's short, be happy

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but I genuinely cannot see where any has been rude on this thread.

Unfortunately this happens all the time. Someone asks for advice on their profile and then gets offended when constructive criticism is given.

Maybe just easier to search the hundreds of forum posts on this subject OP.

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By *oriarty99Man
over a year ago

London

You’re a tiny fish in a big ocean, and women on here therefore have their pick.

Supply and demand and all that

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By *8v3nCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

From couple's point there's a bit of chicken and egg problem. There was time when we were looking for someone like yourself. Tried a bit of being open minded, but trust me so much fake stuff is here. We just stopped trusting. Missus had just one really good meet. But 99 percent are fake and everyone claims to be genuine in their profile. Sometimes old good tinder works better.

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By *MCMan
over a year ago

London/EA

"You need to actually write a profile. I guarantee someone on this site has the exact same wording virtually.

You need to tell readers about yourself and why makes you stand out.

No one cares about if you’ve ‘been here before’ and ‘know how the site works’

If you had veris, why did you leave to loose them? Veris are like gold for single guys!

Take a look at the forums. Join in the conversation, you’ll meet more people that way! "

Majority of members on here don’t read people’s profiles and that’s a fact.

Hence why now a lot of people now have a line saying such things as...

‘Put toothpaste in the title so I know you’ve read my profile’

The amount of couples I get asking if I want to try my bi side when it clearly states I don’t is ridiculous.

Then you see them moaning on their status about people not reading their profile when they receive messages from other members..

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

What are you doing wrong?

Expecting anyone to arrange meets in the middle of a pandemic would be a start, even for the future.

As for the rest: Your profile certainly doesn't help but I've seen worse.

Also as others have said, you are just one ticket holder in a huge lottery. One day you may get lucky and your numbers will come up. But then again......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women dont like men stating thier cock size in thier user name.

Shows how old I am. I thought 7 inch meant he had the single, not the album. "

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried just simply sending a cock pic and a message saying meet now....You won't even be able to keep up with your inbox with how many responses you get endearing messages like "fuck off" and "blocked" but there just teasing and playing hard to get few more dick pics they will be like putty in your hands. Hope this helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lack of photos. No actual profile . Nothing to make me want to message you. Your one pic is a messy bathroom and you have your socks on. That’s the last thing I want to be seeing.

You may want to empty the bath and take your socks off before you shower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single women... change profile pic don't wanna see your cock wanna see a nice sexy pic that's leaving my imagination running...such as a suit pic sexy shirt and tie etc your profile weds completely changing seeing as it is all I see is a bloke whose obvs deleted profile before just wanna know you wanna know you have a fun personality what you like that kinda thing a cheeky chappy profile wins!

And what pisses me of the most is when blokes get your number or start messaging don't go straight into the old lines of.. I'm super horny I wanna fuck you now and fun all over you etc etc try and make a real convo get to know the person etc we are not laying naked and horny 24 7 engage our brains you'll get the returns!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy...when the clubs open go...and go often...x

Here is like the dating sites ...loads of false and male to female ratio like everywhere is high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m back here after I found a partner during lockdown I started talking to the girl for months before we finally were set free from the lock down temporarily so we met things were going well until I decided I’d get some edibles liven up the party abit so she agreed things went wrong she didn’t feel right turns out she hadn’t told me she had drank loads of drink

Prior to coming to mine had some pain killers and oh her dads morphine he was being treated for for his cancer and then also decided to come out as a full blown alcoholic after calling paramedics to my house . This was the 3rd time I had been with her but still I agreed to stick with her because everyone deserves another chance . So months went on and her fathers health got worse and worse and worse until eventually he passed away. She was distraught crying every time I saw her and I tried my best to get her mind off things taking her out walking doing things just to take her mind off it but nothing seemed to work after months of this I asked her if perhaps some kalms herbal tablets might help this kicked off a massive argument we’re I was trying to force pills onto her . I wasn’t I was only trying to help so eventually manage to calm her down again and get her to get onto her health care professional that we’re helping her she did that . Calmed down and Everything was ok I thought. So we get to the 13th of December I’ve not heard a word from her for 2 days. Nothing so I asked her what was wrong no one doesn’t talk for 2 days what’s going on . She then tells me that she feels I’m not right for her and told me the relationship was over and she didn’t feel the same way about me as I did her . I was devastated by this. But I couldn’t let it hold me back I had to try again to meet people and since coming to fab I’ve never felt more rejected in my entire life I’m not into men and that seems to be all the attention I get and it’s killing me i feel like I’m not fit for other human life and I honestly don’t feel that way about myself I feel I’m a decent person I just wanna meet and chat to people I don’t even guarantee I’d want to fuck them I just wanna build a connection with someone who cares about me and that’s all I want but I’m not ready for the relationships and bullshit it comes with I wanted clarity so I came here to these forums so i could potentially make a match with a real decent honest and beautiful woman obviously not looking for any old weirdo either just want someone a little normal freaky in bedroom with good looks that’s it no life problems and issues that are gunna weight me down anymore than I already am .I sit and cry on my own because I feel I’m not fit for love or to be loved and I only feel like this cuz I cared so much for that person and this rejection really hurts and I just get even more rejected when I approach people with decent legitimate conversation Any help to get my life back on track or people that just wanna take me out and have a drink and a talk female preferably that has a heart and isn’t trying to rip it from my chest would be great ?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You sound to have had a really bad time lately. I think if you started a new thread with your post you would get more responses and support than tacking it on the end of this old one. I hope things improve for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Josh,

It's good you've mentioned a few things about what you want. Try to keep all comments positive, avoid saying what you don't like/want otherwise it can be seen as being picky.

Are you aiming this just at guys? If not, change your opening line to include the ladies too!

Are you really looking for a 99 year old granny? If not, edit your age range so it's realistic. The sugar mummy comment makes you look like a gold digger, and it'd put me off, if I were looking for a young stud.

What specific things do you like or are you looking for? Do you like outdoor activities, giving oral, love to watch, wham bam thank you ma'am, hotel meets, looking to play with a couple? Are you happy to arrange a social first? Tell us! Using full stops is a good idea too.

Pictures! Us girls get turned on just by the IDEA of a good time more than you'd think, so a few pictures that help us to think of us with you in different scenarios might work well. Close up dick pics aren't a winner by themselves as we are interested in what you can do with it, while leaving something to the imagination...

If you don't want to have your face on show, leaving it in your friends section is a good option.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sally slinky already done that was trying to work out how it worked

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Hello Op,

I realise that you opened this thread four days ago, and appear to have modified some aspects of your profile text since then. People have responded to your request for feedback, and it's clear you don't like the feedback you've been given, but the fact that so many agree must surely tell you something?

Given that you are in the bracket that we are looking for, here's some more advice from our perspective. Please remember that this isn't a personal jibe at you, but is intended for you to undeerstand what people like us think when they look at profiles.

If you had messaged us then, like almost everyone we know on this site, we would have had a look at your profile and made a decision there and then whether we would reply or not. It sounds brutal but as the saying goes, you only have one chance to make a first impression, and people will only look further if they feel that initial attraction.

The first thing we notice about your profile is that you haven't taken any time over it, which makes us question whether you truelly are looking to meet, or whether this site is some sort of quick buzz for you. If a profile is littered with spelling mistakes etc then it is off putting, and people will not spend the time reading it, they will simply delete your message or skip past your profile and look for someone else.

Reading into your blurb it does state that your bi curious, but then again your profile says you are straight. I get it, the moment you put bi curious then you think you'll be hounded by single men. Well, to save yourself that problem, use the email filters to block single men. What you choose to do is of course your business, but contradictions within your profile will put some people off. I note that you age has changed from 25 to 27 in the past few days.

The sugar mommy comment, though probably meant in a light hearted way, does come across as you wanting someone else to pay your way for you. If that's what you want then fine, but once again it will put some people off; and I'm sure that you could find a better way of conveying the message if that is not the case.

Your profile is unverified after being here four months, again this will put some off. As you have joined months after a ban on meeting up was placed on us, and will not be removed any time soon, it leaves you just one option. Relying on messages alone seldom works, so why not use the chatroom and get yourself verified that way? It gives people another way to see aspects of your personality and maybe they will consider meeting in the future. The other aspect of the site where people can interact with you is of course these forums. You'll be suprised how often people will use the forum as a way of interacting with a potential meet, or be introduced to one.

Photo's. your original post to this thread states very clearly 'I can’t have my pics as public as with my job I need a certain limit to discretion' but you have chosen to show your fface pic on your profile. Again, it's your business, but some might then question the contradiction. So many people are listed on sites like this or dating apps or whatever, so the chances are that if anyone you know in person found out your on here they wouldn't bat an eyelid, as they themselves would have to be on here to see it in the first place. However, if discretion is what you are looking for wouldn't it be better to have a nice face pic on the site rather than pictures of your cock? Which one would you prefer to be seen by someone you know? More importantly, which one do you feel is more likely to attract someone?

Socks. Everyone agrees, that is not the greatest photo, well everyone except you. If that's what you want to show the world then go ahead, but why not take another quick selfie now, with no discarded clothes on the floor... and no socks on your feet.

Interests. You seem to have ticked every single one. If that's the case then so be it, but once again most people will consider that your throwing your net as wide as possible, which isn't an attraction. Also, do you really want to have sex with people in the 90's? Good luck with that.

The fact is that your profile isn't bad per se, but it does have enough contradictions that we just wouldn't bother looking further. And let's be honest, it would take no more than ten minutes to change all of them.

Perhaps now you might have an understanding how people looking for someone like you view your profile. But ultimately Mr Grey it is your profile and you choose to show what you want to show. Take some time to ponder the good feedback people have given you, and decide what you want to do from there.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does every guy assume because they are decent looking and have a decent size cock they are assured a meet or a fuck as they put it.

Just like in the vanilla world personality and charisma is key

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

It doesn't reflect well to ask for advice and then tell people they're being rude if you dislike or disagree with it. You not liking it isn't the same as them being rude or judging.

FWIW I don't care whether you wear socks in your pic or not, I'm not interested in meeting men so its irrelevant to me, but I do agree with the advice that well thought out pics are better. If you're getting undressed to shower, then pose fully naked in the shower, not in socks with background clutter. Whether you like/agree with it or not, lots of people will notice things like the background in pictures, and whether or not it is accurate it does still create an impression.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

And socks on? And a messy floor ? Srsly ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not usually snotty over grammar but I do think you should run your text in Word or download Grammarly so it could be broken into sentences. It's really hard to read.

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

I don't think its being snotty to say something should be readable. Granted not everyone is good at writing, but it's easy enough to use things like Grammarly to check. We all make allowances for bad typing and errors but it is goodd netiquette and courtesy to make your communication easy to read as best you can in the same way that you don't mumble into your sweater when talking face to face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello Op,

Good luck

What a great post, the fact you spent so much time to try and help this guy is an great gesture.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

What do you send as a message to get a conversation going? Most men in our experience send messages that are somewhere between pointless and abysmal. Can you post an example of your opening gambit?

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness

Chances are you will never get a meet. Most women on here don't seem to be interested. I've had one meet in 12 years and it doesn't look likely I will have success again,but I will keep trying. If you keep plugging away,something might turn up over the years,so you will have to be patient.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Great advice

I admire your patience

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness

"Great advice

I admire your patience"
thanks

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