Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swinging Support and Advice |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer?" Why would their gender (assumed or otherwise) have any affect on their sexuality? Or even better yet, why not ask them? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm transgender and I like men. Society says I'm gay, but as I have a female brain with feminine emotions and find men attractive, I consider myself straight, but the times have to catch up a little x" If society really does say you’re gay you don’t have to comply and label yourself as such. The word ‘tranny’ is outdated and seen as offensive by many tho. Xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being called a tranny over and over drove me to attempt suicide, my username is my shield and I owned an insult, to which I now have to honour of helping others stand up against their potential destroyers. I do what I do, and I do it well. I will render anyones insults useless " Good on you I’m still gunna be one of the ones who dislikes the word tho. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I detest the word tranny and I'm likely to poke your eye out I'm a t girl If anyone can't accept that then it's bye bye" It’s certainly a provoking word and not one I’d ever use myself but I can understand those that want to reclaim it as their own. It’s kinda going off topic for the OP though ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"sorry I really didn't mean to sound offensive, I really didn't know it was offensive" Don’t panic, I dont think anyone was referring to you, I think it was reference to Sammy’s profile name. For many it is an offensive term, but just as with many offensive terms, some within those communities choose to reclaim it as their own to try and empower themselves in its use. I’m not going to say they’re wrong for it but it’s not a term I would choose to use | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer?" OP the only way to know is to ask them direct. How do we, on the forums, know? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well it's my life and I've survived so I dont really care what people tell me what I can do. I create my own reality, I've earned my place in life and unless you know what I've had to survive, I hardly doubt, nor care what you preach, that's the beauty of Youopinions, I'm not required to listen nor heed them. My life, my rules, my privilege as an equal human being. If you cant handle that, you might need to ask yourself why anyone would persist in worrying about anything I choose to construct for a shield to protect my mental health from predators Opinions are just that...opinions. I'll still live to help others, regardless. Be well, be safe and be proud Later gator x " You rock girl | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being called a tranny over and over drove me to attempt suicide, my username is my shield and I owned an insult, to which I now have to honour of helping others stand up against their potential destroyers. I do what I do, and I do it well. I will render anyones insults useless " You are both beautiful and amazing | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer?" Each person is different. Some will, some won’t. That’s a question to be asked individually of the person you’re interested in I think. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer?" That was would by definition mean that you aren’t straight but who cares if you are bi - go for it - we love playing with TV’s | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer? That was would by definition mean that you aren’t straight but who cares if you are bi - go for it - we love playing with TV’s" He said trans women. By definition, he’s still straight, as they are women. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer? That was would by definition mean that you aren’t straight but who cares if you are bi - go for it - we love playing with TV’s" He didn’t ask about tv’s. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What exactly is a “female brain”? A little lady brain? " Brain scans light up differently for females and males. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Whilst OPs question is badly formed I do think there has been an issue in how fab categorises gender and sexuality that has been obvious for a while and has had zero action to fix it. Clearly these issues can be sensitive to people, and the last thing we as reasonable swingers would want to do is to be insensitive and cause offense, thats the last thing you want to do with someone you are interested in. We have a TV/TS gender category, that's good. We also have a sexuality category, that's also good. Where it falls down slightly is the ambiguity of the interplay between those to for the TV and TS groups. Examples: TV/TS selected as gender Gay selected as sexuality. Individual has a penis but presents female. Are they gay as in they want penis to penis encounters, ie functionally/biologically gay? Or are they gay as in they identify as female and want other females? Hard to say Naturally these can be ascertained by asking the person but: A: The person likely doesn't want to have to address this question constantly B: It can be a question which causes anxiety in both parties C: It's a question that cis fabbers simply don't have to deal with and it's avoidable. You can also use your profile to make it clear, and that's fine, but that requires proactive management by the TS person, not required by cis members, and it assumes the reader pays attention which not all will. It seems to me: 1: TS and TV should be separated out as they are not the same thing. A TS will generally identify with their chosen gender as they are actually trans. A TV is literally just that, a transvestite and will generally simply be a person who dresses in a certain way. Having them together is pretty useless for everyone. 2: An "Identifies as" field would be useful in this context Knowing if a person identifies as TS or TV, and what gender they identify as means when they say gay or straight we know what they mean. Seems entirely reasonable for us and them that this should be easy to ascertain without hassling them with questions which only serve (unintentionally) to other them with sensitive questions." I really can't agree, with your no. 1. I'm a tv . I dress,, walk, talk, act, look female i go everywhere as, a, female,. I do everything as, a, female. I live, as, a female, it's not just about merely dressing as female. That is, a, CD. Some of us are a world away from that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Whilst OPs question is badly formed I do think there has been an issue in how fab categorises gender and sexuality that has been obvious for a while and has had zero action to fix it. Clearly these issues can be sensitive to people, and the last thing we as reasonable swingers would want to do is to be insensitive and cause offense, thats the last thing you want to do with someone you are interested in. We have a TV/TS gender category, that's good. We also have a sexuality category, that's also good. Where it falls down slightly is the ambiguity of the interplay between those to for the TV and TS groups. Examples: TV/TS selected as gender Gay selected as sexuality. Individual has a penis but presents female. Are they gay as in they want penis to penis encounters, ie functionally/biologically gay? Or are they gay as in they identify as female and want other females? Hard to say Naturally these can be ascertained by asking the person but: A: The person likely doesn't want to have to address this question constantly B: It can be a question which causes anxiety in both parties C: It's a question that cis fabbers simply don't have to deal with and it's avoidable. You can also use your profile to make it clear, and that's fine, but that requires proactive management by the TS person, not required by cis members, and it assumes the reader pays attention which not all will. It seems to me: 1: TS and TV should be separated out as they are not the same thing. A TS will generally identify with their chosen gender as they are actually trans. A TV is literally just that, a transvestite and will generally simply be a person who dresses in a certain way. Having them together is pretty useless for everyone. 2: An "Identifies as" field would be useful in this context Knowing if a person identifies as TS or TV, and what gender they identify as means when they say gay or straight we know what they mean. Seems entirely reasonable for us and them that this should be easy to ascertain without hassling them with questions which only serve (unintentionally) to other them with sensitive questions." The problem relates to fundamental nature of the words we use to describe sexuality. "Homosexual" - is aroused by someone of the same type. "Heterosexual" - is aroused by someone of the differing type. But neither of these terms actually says what people want, just states "same as me" or "different to me". Much more informative would be to have terms that describe who/what actually arouses you. "Gynophilic" - likes females. "Androphilic" - likes males. But unfortunately language has missed the boat, we don't use words like that and it would never catch on now But maybe an improvement could still be made to the options available... Gender: AMAB (assigned male at birth), identifies M. AMAB, identifies gender fluid. AMAB, identifies female. AFAB, identifies F. etc Sexuality: Aroused by F. Aroused by M. Aroused by M+F (seperately)(together). Aroused by AMAB id F. etc Or maybe just "likes cock"/"likes vag"/"likes cock+vag". Too complicated? Too many options? Then how about losing the tick box options altogether, and everyone writing a profile in their own words? Buggered if i know It's difficult once we go past biology for simples with "there's only male or female". I'm just quite glad it's not me designing the website... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Plenty of transwomen want only straight men as they are women and want to only meet straight guys but don't be a jerk and expect them to want to top you as they probably not into it and find it offensive you would ask everyone is different so ask but not in an offensive way" Thank you it's good to know that they would still be happy to meet a straight man | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Whilst OPs question is badly formed I do think there has been an issue in how fab categorises gender and sexuality that has been obvious for a while and has had zero action to fix it. Clearly these issues can be sensitive to people, and the last thing we as reasonable swingers would want to do is to be insensitive and cause offense, thats the last thing you want to do with someone you are interested in. We have a TV/TS gender category, that's good. We also have a sexuality category, that's also good. Where it falls down slightly is the ambiguity of the interplay between those to for the TV and TS groups. Examples: TV/TS selected as gender Gay selected as sexuality. Individual has a penis but presents female. Are they gay as in they want penis to penis encounters, ie functionally/biologically gay? Or are they gay as in they identify as female and want other females? Hard to say Naturally these can be ascertained by asking the person but: A: The person likely doesn't want to have to address this question constantly B: It can be a question which causes anxiety in both parties C: It's a question that cis fabbers simply don't have to deal with and it's avoidable. You can also use your profile to make it clear, and that's fine, but that requires proactive management by the TS person, not required by cis members, and it assumes the reader pays attention which not all will. It seems to me: 1: TS and TV should be separated out as they are not the same thing. A TS will generally identify with their chosen gender as they are actually trans. A TV is literally just that, a transvestite and will generally simply be a person who dresses in a certain way. Having them together is pretty useless for everyone. 2: An "Identifies as" field would be useful in this context Knowing if a person identifies as TS or TV, and what gender they identify as means when they say gay or straight we know what they mean. Seems entirely reasonable for us and them that this should be easy to ascertain without hassling them with questions which only serve (unintentionally) to other them with sensitive questions." This is probably one of the best posts I have read on here. I have a friend who is in the TS group and has had horrific dating experiences due to lack of clarity in the filters and a lack of widely understood terminology. She is a male to female pre-op TS. She considers herself a straight female. All she is wanting is a way to clarify who she is and what she is looking for without the thousands of questions or misunderstanding due to lack of clarity. She has made the decision not to date until she has completed her transition but due to the plague that has been knocked back month maybe years. Anything that can be done to improve the effectiveness of the user interface to be more inclusive and clearer would be great. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Genuine question. Should we expect others to see us as we see ourselves? If not then why take offense if they view us differently? If we should are we not in danger of all becoming disillusioned as the thing we often want most is the one thing you can't have." Us transwomen see our selves as women if people dont that's up to them | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Genuine question. Should we expect others to see us as we see ourselves? If not then why take offense if they view us differently? If we should are we not in danger of all becoming disillusioned as the thing we often want most is the one thing you can't have. Us transwomen see our selves as women if people dont that's up to them " I think that's right and agree with this too, that transwomen are women | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Genuine question. Should we expect others to see us as we see ourselves? If not then why take offense if they view us differently? If we should are we not in danger of all becoming disillusioned as the thing we often want most is the one thing you can't have. Us transwomen see our selves as women if people dont that's up to them " Isn't that a common complaint on here, that others don't by their actions or preferences even though they may agree with you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Genuine question. Should we expect others to see us as we see ourselves? If not then why take offense if they view us differently? If we should are we not in danger of all becoming disillusioned as the thing we often want most is the one thing you can't have. Us transwomen see our selves as women if people dont that's up to them Isn't that a common complaint on here, that others don't by their actions or preferences even though they may agree with you. " What? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have just posted something similar in another thread so follow the green arrow if you want to hear the long version but here’s the short one. A trans woman is a woman. Therefore I will only be interested in straight of bi guys as would any other woman. If you are referring to someone who identifies as male but wears female clothes to some degree you may be better off usin GB a term such as cross dresser, transvestite, Tgirl or even transgender. Transwomen is generally reserved for those that fully identify as female and choose to live that way either with it without medical intervention. Totally minefield I know but quick way to think if it is that a “transwoman” will see herself as a women no more no less ." my wife is a natural woman and loves both sexes so why cant a trans woman be bisexual? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"my wife is a natural woman and loves both sexes so why cant a trans woman be bisexual? " Hiya, transwomen can absolutely be bisexual just as your wife is and indeed I am one of them. Maybe I didn’t word it too well, what I meant was that I would be interested in guys if they were straight or bi and not that I couldn’t be interested in women too ( nothing could be further from the truth ), although in that case I wouldn’t be interested in straight women, only gay or bi ones. Hope that clarifies ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’ve met with a few Transladies and that’s how I see them and I think most are looking for straight guys" That's really good to hear | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Are trans women fine with meeting straight men? I don't mean to go all the way but for example for oral or something even softer?" As we identify as women the answer is dependent on our sexuality rather than yours. Wee are both bi and therefor meet men, women and trans girls. If you are attracted to someone just go for it! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being called a tranny over and over drove me to attempt suicide, my username is my shield and I owned an insult, to which I now have to honour of helping others stand up against their potential destroyers. I do what I do, and I do it well. I will render anyones insults useless " Exactly. This is the thing, you don't get to choose how other people identify you that is up to them and is their right. Just as it's you're right to not give two shits what they think. That's freedom. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |