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Men insisting on a reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Something I’ve noticed recently - a lot of the men messaging me now seem to insist on a reply either positive or negative. Ie they insist I reply to say even if I’m NOT interested. When did this become the norm?

I was under the impression that if you don’t get a reply, that generally means they’re not interested and move on. Instead what I’m finding is when I bother to read a full message from someone insisting on a response, if I choose to ignore him, I inevitably get a load of abuse back. I’ve actually had to start reporting people for the first time on here because of some of the abuse.

What irritates me further is when I do reply with a polite no, the majority of these men don’t leave me alone. They ask why or demand I rethink my response. I’m starting to think they’re just like the cretins who send a message saying ‘can I ask you a question’ and are just using it as an in to start talking to me. 9 times out of 10 when I stop replying they become abusive. I’m frankly sick of it.

This is more a post to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon really, and to serve as a warning for anyone who hasn’t had this yet.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the other side it’s nice to receive a response even if it’s no, but a lack of response doesn’t warrant abuse and just shows what they’re really like - an arsehole

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

They can insist and stamp their feet all they like, they can’t make you reply. If they say something like that in their message, it might be worth blocking them immediately so they can’t pester you. I find it’s never a good idea to respond because as you say, they try to convince you and often get nasty about it.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Having seen how many messages a lady gets on here, some simply cannot keep up with them. Answer one, two more appear. Had a joint profile, and it was impossible. Also, when we replied, thx but no, the message is instantly sent back "why not". Which is better I suppose, than the abusive ones. No reply means no interest!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

A man that demands a reply is never going to accept being turned down but rather is seeking the opportunity to “persuade” ie bully you into changing your mind..

Unfortunately more and more guys on here feel entitled to something, usually with little to know effort on their part.

I can’t tell you why because personally I can’t understand it myself and it frustrates me as well because it turns people away from ALL guys which has a negative impact on the genuine decent guys out there.

You should instantly block anyone that makes demands.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They can insist and stamp their feet all they like, they can’t make you reply. If they say something like that in their message, it might be worth blocking them immediately so they can’t pester you. I find it’s never a good idea to respond because as you say, they try to convince you and often get nasty about it."

This is what I’ve started to do now. It just caught me off guard as I’ve never had that happen to me. I hate blocking people but I suppose it’s the only way of stopping the numpties. I get upwards of 70 messages a day at times, so I tend to skim read them, so I’ve missed a couple that were demanding a reply. And inevitably they just started being abusive turds.

I was just curious to see if anyone else had had this happen really. Or if it’s a new thing.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had this happen on my single account. He messaged me this morning, and has since messaged me again ‘reminding’ me and requested a response either way.

I do find it annoying, and tbh I just deleted it immediately. My profile says I may not respond, and if they can’t read and respect what I say I’m my bio, are they going to if we did meet, no!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just had this happen on my single account. He messaged me this morning, and has since messaged me again ‘reminding’ me and requested a response either way.

I do find it annoying, and tbh I just deleted it immediately. My profile says I may not respond, and if they can’t read and respect what I say I’m my bio, are they going to if we did meet, no! "

I’ve just edited my profile to make it clear what I think about these absolute virgins. If they can’t read then balls to em

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It's manipulation and an indicator of the person insisting on a reply.

I find it a good way of sifting messages.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I got told once I must be a little bit interested as I had taken the time to reply "no thank you"

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo noticed this.

‘Would love to hear back from you even if its a no’

‘I know you dont like xyz as you said on your profile but im different and with me things will be different’

It certainly is irritating. I didnt want to have to do the block thing as i believe in treating folk like adults in that if you say ‘no thanks’ that is accepted and respected but it seems not.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *iglittleoneMan
over a year ago

B76 is home

It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m curious, is it something that’s recently started happening? A covid phenomenon maybe? Desperation? I’m trying to get my head round it all. Psychology of it fascinates me.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

It’s pretty rude to insist on a reply. No one is entitled to anything on here.

It may take a few seconds to say no thanks, but if you’ve got 300 messages, and then half of them reply back with “why not”, “I just want to chat” “I just want to be your friend” or worse, sends abuse, then it takes a whole lot longer than a few seconds.

I fail to understand why men cannot grasp this.

You are not entitled to a reply.

Hc

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just had this happen on my single account. He messaged me this morning, and has since messaged me again ‘reminding’ me and requested a response either way.

I do find it annoying, and tbh I just deleted it immediately. My profile says I may not respond, and if they can’t read and respect what I say I’m my bio, are they going to if we did meet, no!

I’ve just edited my profile to make it clear what I think about these absolute virgins. If they can’t read then balls to em "

Love it! The sooner some men realise that their behaviour leads to this kind of thing, the better (ever hopeful)

Hc

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston

You people are so rude! Who do you think you are? I am very important and you are all scumbags who have no manners. I'm done with you. You don't deserve my attention. I wanked over your photos and spent 3 minutes of my life fantasising about what you will do with me that I won't get back. Now you owe me those 3 minute back! Well. I don't care about you. Your fat and ugly anyway. I wouldnt look at you twice if I saw you in the street. Desperate fat old cuck and his prossa he has to beg guys like me to fuck. Your sad and pathetic. I would never let guys fuck my wife. Later losers.

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THREE MONTHS LATER....

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Hi sexy fabbers. Love your pics and profile. What's a guy like me got to do to get a meet with you? xxx

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By * AND R 777Couple
over a year ago

Teesside


"You people are so rude! Who do you think you are? I am very important and you are all scumbags who have no manners. I'm done with you. You don't deserve my attention. I wanked over your photos and spent 3 minutes of my life fantasising about what you will do with me that I won't get back. Now you owe me those 3 minute back! Well. I don't care about you. Your fat and ugly anyway. I wouldnt look at you twice if I saw you in the street. Desperate fat old cuck and his prossa he has to beg guys like me to fuck. Your sad and pathetic. I would never let guys fuck my wife. Later losers.

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THREE MONTHS LATER....

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Hi sexy fabbers. Love your pics and profile. What's a guy like me got to do to get a meet with you? xxx

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"

Yep this hits the nail on the head

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply no thank you and instantly block

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

“We are all for the same thing here at the end of the day, a cock is a cock, why u have to be fussy its just sex hun... I will make u cum loads”

Hahaha that is the way they try to convince me

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

It will take a long time if you’re replying to hundreds of messages...

And MANNERS work both ways, so you shouldn’t insist on anything at all

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"“We are all for the same thing here at the end of the day, a cock is a cock, why u have to be fussy its just sex hun... I will make u cum loads”

Hahaha that is the way they try to convince me "

Anyone who says they will “make you cum loads” is highly likely to be unable to satisfy anyone except himself

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

We also get lots of offers /messages...and only respond to the ones that interest us both.....some guys pester so get the "block"..

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *iglittleoneMan
over a year ago

B76 is home


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners."

Fair play but still it's polite to message

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's awful. You don't reply or you send a polite "sorry, not for me" or even block... Next thing, you end up on their status and open up yet another load of abuse to your inbox from friends of theirs! Do the same to them and again, end up on someone else's status and you get 10x the abuse! It's driving the real people like myself and others away

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message"

You take my profile for a day and you will soon change your mind! You physically cannot reply "no thanks" to every mail received when you're faced with over 500+ per day on a quiet day!!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You people are so rude! Who do you think you are? I am very important and you are all scumbags who have no manners. I'm done with you. You don't deserve my attention. I wanked over your photos and spent 3 minutes of my life fantasising about what you will do with me that I won't get back. Now you owe me those 3 minute back! Well. I don't care about you. Your fat and ugly anyway. I wouldnt look at you twice if I saw you in the street. Desperate fat old cuck and his prossa he has to beg guys like me to fuck. Your sad and pathetic. I would never let guys fuck my wife. Later losers.

.

.

.

.

.

.

THREE MONTHS LATER....

.

.

.

.

Hi sexy fabbers. Love your pics and profile. What's a guy like me got to do to get a meet with you? xxx

.

.

.

"

This 100%! Hahaha!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message"

If it’s written in the rules then nobody should be demanding a reply. Ever. If it hurts these wankers that much then they shouldn’t be on Fab at all.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message"

Please tell me, and I’m genuinely curious and interested. Why do you think women should reply to you?

People have very clearly set our in this thread the reasons you shouldn’t expect a reply.

I state clearly in my single profile that I will not reply, if you read that, why would you expect a reply?

Why do you think we should take up a lot of our own valuable time relying to people we aren’t interested in. Do you think your time is more important? So you think you’re more important?

I’m genuinely interested in why?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message

If it’s written in the rules then nobody should be demanding a reply. Ever. If it hurts these wankers that much then they shouldn’t be on Fab at all. "

I think I love you

HC

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"A man that demands a reply is never going to accept being turned down but rather is seeking the opportunity to “persuade” ie bully you into changing your mind..

Unfortunately more and more guys on here feel entitled to something, usually with little to know effort on their part.

I can’t tell you why because personally I can’t understand it myself and it frustrates me as well because it turns people away from ALL guys which has a negative impact on the genuine decent guys out there.

You should instantly block anyone that makes demands.

"

..and here's a nice, respectful man who probably gets loads of replies!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message

If it’s written in the rules then nobody should be demanding a reply. Ever. If it hurts these wankers that much then they shouldn’t be on Fab at all.

I think I love you

HC"

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message

If it’s written in the rules then nobody should be demanding a reply. Ever. If it hurts these wankers that much then they shouldn’t be on Fab at all.

I think I love you

HC

"

I definitely love your bottom

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been finding that if they insist on a reply, and you say no, the guys often take that as a cue to try to change your mind

And these same guys often have “not pushy” in their profile

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ent and bratCouple
over a year ago

here there everywhere


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners."

This

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Problem is, I found, these guys mainly struggle to "pull", in the real world, so they try fab, thinking it's going to be easier for them. So a "no thanks", is crushing to them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message

If it’s written in the rules then nobody should be demanding a reply. Ever. If it hurts these wankers that much then they shouldn’t be on Fab at all.

I think I love you

HC

I definitely love your bottom "

Tbf it’s my bum that gets me so much bother on here haha!

But thank you! Lots of hard work went into it

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"A man that demands a reply is never going to accept being turned down but rather is seeking the opportunity to “persuade” ie bully you into changing your mind..

Unfortunately more and more guys on here feel entitled to something, usually with little to know effort on their part.

I can’t tell you why because personally I can’t understand it myself and it frustrates me as well because it turns people away from ALL guys which has a negative impact on the genuine decent guys out there.

You should instantly block anyone that makes demands.

..and here's a nice, respectful man who probably gets loads of replies! "

Not as many as you’d imagine but these are obviously strange times... although I have had many polite rejections because I’ve actually sent a respectful message in the first place.

That said I don’t take it as an insult if I don’t, I fully understand how time consuming it must be for women and couples on here. I’m not entitled to anything on here.

I’m often ashamed of my half of the species and how they act on here

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"A man that demands a reply is never going to accept being turned down but rather is seeking the opportunity to “persuade” ie bully you into changing your mind..

Unfortunately more and more guys on here feel entitled to something, usually with little to know effort on their part.

I can’t tell you why because personally I can’t understand it myself and it frustrates me as well because it turns people away from ALL guys which has a negative impact on the genuine decent guys out there.

You should instantly block anyone that makes demands.

..and here's a nice, respectful man who probably gets loads of replies! "

Oh, and thank you!

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

It's good manners not to expect anything and to accept that no reply indicates no interest.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m curious, is it something that’s recently started happening? A covid phenomenon maybe? Desperation? I’m trying to get my head round it all. Psychology of it fascinates me. "
no it’s been going on for ever

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *alerieCouple
over a year ago

Close by


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message"

There is a thread floating around asking how many unsolicited mails do men receive per day .

Most of the replies went "from none to the occasional 1or2 every 6 months" .

Compared to the 30 or more that women and couples received everyday, seems to me that it's much easier and less time consuming for men to be polite and use "manners".

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m curious, is it something that’s recently started happening? A covid phenomenon maybe? Desperation? I’m trying to get my head round it all. Psychology of it fascinates me. no it’s been going on for ever"

I guess I must’ve been just lucky so far then to have not even noticed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had it on and off from the start...

It dawned on me the other day that given the Fab FAQ's say no reply = no interest and my profile says I don't reply to every message, way message me in the first place if you're instant on a reply?

I've had men try and tell me when I've explained that I don't reply to all messages because it often leads to abuse that that isn't the case at all... Er yes it is.

I've also had one gent who insisted I deleted his message after I'd already done so, informed him that according to the Fab FAQ's a no reply is no thanks (thinking he could see I'd deleted it in sent messages) and got called arrogant.

Like someone said above, if they can't respect my decision to not reply to every message, then are they going to respect my wishes in the bedroom?

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

If I message someone and my message is deleted without a reply I accept there is no interest and block the profile so I don't message again by accident.

If couples and single females deleted and blocked the sender when not interested it would save them from getting more mail from someone who they have no interest in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I've also had one gent who insisted I deleted his message after I'd already done so, informed him that according to the Fab FAQ's a no reply is no thanks (thinking he could see I'd deleted it in sent messages) and got called arrogant.

Like someone said above, if they can't respect my decision to not reply to every message, then are they going to respect my wishes in the bedroom? "

I HAD THAT GUY TOO!!! I think he does it to everyone!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I message someone and my message is deleted without a reply I accept there is no interest and block the profile so I don't message again by accident.

If couples and single females deleted and blocked the sender when not interested it would save them from getting more mail from someone who they have no interest in. "

This should really be written into the rules if I’m honest. I’ve had so many abuse me or repeatedly message me clearly oblivious to the fact they’ve called me a c*nt or a bitch in the past because I’ve not replied or said no.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.


"I’m curious, is it something that’s recently started happening? A covid phenomenon maybe? Desperation? I’m trying to get my head round it all. Psychology of it fascinates me. "

I've been on the site 10 years and it's been happening since then

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"They can insist and stamp their feet all they like, they can’t make you reply. If they say something like that in their message, it might be worth blocking them immediately so they can’t pester you. I find it’s never a good idea to respond because as you say, they try to convince you and often get nasty about it.

This is what I’ve started to do now. It just caught me off guard as I’ve never had that happen to me. I hate blocking people but I suppose it’s the only way of stopping the numpties. I get upwards of 70 messages a day at times, so I tend to skim read them, so I’ve missed a couple that were demanding a reply. And inevitably they just started being abusive turds.

I was just curious to see if anyone else had had this happen really. Or if it’s a new thing. "

I didn’t like blocking people at first either, but I’ve come to realise that it saves a lot of hassle when I do.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

Sorry, are you saying we are the ones with no manners for not replying? Did you read the OP at all? There is no politeness in demanding a reply, and it’s outright rude to respond to a no thanks with attempts to change our minds, or with abuse. So tell me again who has no manners?

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"“We are all for the same thing here at the end of the day, a cock is a cock, why u have to be fussy its just sex hun... I will make u cum loads”

Hahaha that is the way they try to convince me "

Right? And “how do you know I’m not your type if you don’t meet me?”

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message"

Ok, cool, great. We’re rude to not reply. What do you do when someone does reply no thanks?

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

[Removed by poster at 09/12/20 12:39:58]

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Omg this!

Then they continue to tel you how rude and up your own arse you are... you say no thanks and you still get the same reply! I literally don’t even bother replying half the time now! Can’t win either way... so entitled!

Ps the few not the many

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By *appy_Chappy567Man
over a year ago

Ashwell

As a single guy that does send messages longer than one line as I try to make an effort it is nice to get a ‘sorry but not for us’ reply. At least you know they’ve acknowledged your message and read it but I fully understand why many people do not respond or reply.

I can only imagine the amount of messages couples and single females receive so it’s very understandable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did have one guy tell me once that we had to help single guys out because they had it hard on here...

I've also been called sad and deluded by a guy outside my age range because I didn't reply... Simply because I busy away from Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s a polite message then we try to reply depending on how much time we have.Sometimes we get over a hundred messages a day.

If it’s can I come and fuck you then I am afraid we don’t.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

So this is the general gist of a recent exchange I had (not the actual message content).

He sent a short copy and paste message, I read it and his very brief, uninformative profile, and deleted.

He messaged again, saying we’d messaged when he first joined 11 months ago. I should have deleted again, but instead I replied saying it would have been a “thanks but you’re not what I’m looking for”, as at that time I was still trying to reply to everyone, and that we wouldn’t have actually chatted.

He messaged again, asking if it was still my response as he has photos and veris now so I can trust him! But no worries if I didn’t want to chat. I said it’s still my response, and wished him luck.

The next message was along the lines of fair enough, but one last try to change my mind. Lots more irrelevant stuff, plus some stuff about what he’s looking for that if he’d read my profile, he’d have known was a no for me. So I pointed that out.

There followed two more increasingly argumentative messages, where he was clearly starting to get arsey, saying I was tarring all men with the same brush and all the rest of it, at which point I blocked him (yes, I should have done it straight away).

All this took place across three days. So to the guy who said it doesn’t take long to reply no thanks - it can take a lot of time, because too many men see “no thanks” as the beginning of a negotiation, rather than the end of communication.

Oh and one last point - if someone can’t accept a no thanks at the initial message stage, I will never, ever meet them, because I’ll never be able to trust that they will understand that no means no in other situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply means; not interested. If I get a “No thanks” reply I always reply with “Thanks for the reply, no problems and hope you find what you’re looking for. Have fun”.

No point in being an arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You people are so rude! Who do you think you are? I am very important and you are all scumbags who have no manners. I'm done with you. You don't deserve my attention. I wanked over your photos and spent 3 minutes of my life fantasising about what you will do with me that I won't get back. Now you owe me those 3 minute back! Well. I don't care about you. Your fat and ugly anyway. I wouldnt look at you twice if I saw you in the street. Desperate fat old cuck and his prossa he has to beg guys like me to fuck. Your sad and pathetic. I would never let guys fuck my wife. Later losers.

.

.

.

.

.

.

THREE MONTHS LATER....

.

.

.

.

Hi sexy fabbers. Love your pics and profile. What's a guy like me got to do to get a meet with you? xxx

.

.

.

"

Howling! So true, and sadly very common now. We've started putting notes on the profiles who message and aren't suitable. If they're idiots and come back, T feeds them to me to mess with

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"You people are so rude! Who do you think you are? I am very important and you are all scumbags who have no manners. I'm done with you. You don't deserve my attention. I wanked over your photos and spent 3 minutes of my life fantasising about what you will do with me that I won't get back. Now you owe me those 3 minute back! Well. I don't care about you. Your fat and ugly anyway. I wouldnt look at you twice if I saw you in the street. Desperate fat old cuck and his prossa he has to beg guys like me to fuck. Your sad and pathetic. I would never let guys fuck my wife. Later losers.

.

.

.

.

.

.

THREE MONTHS LATER....

.

.

.

.

Hi sexy fabbers. Love your pics and profile. What's a guy like me got to do to get a meet with you? xxx

.

.

.

Howling! So true, and sadly very common now. We've started putting notes on the profiles who message and aren't suitable. If they're idiots and come back, T feeds them to me to mess with "

That's brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So this is the general gist of a recent exchange I had (not the actual message content).

He sent a short copy and paste message, I read it and his very brief, uninformative profile, and deleted.

He messaged again, saying we’d messaged when he first joined 11 months ago. I should have deleted again, but instead I replied saying it would have been a “thanks but you’re not what I’m looking for”, as at that time I was still trying to reply to everyone, and that we wouldn’t have actually chatted.

He messaged again, asking if it was still my response as he has photos and veris now so I can trust him! But no worries if I didn’t want to chat. I said it’s still my response, and wished him luck.

The next message was along the lines of fair enough, but one last try to change my mind. Lots more irrelevant stuff, plus some stuff about what he’s looking for that if he’d read my profile, he’d have known was a no for me. So I pointed that out.

There followed two more increasingly argumentative messages, where he was clearly starting to get arsey, saying I was tarring all men with the same brush and all the rest of it, at which point I blocked him (yes, I should have done it straight away).

All this took place across three days. So to the guy who said it doesn’t take long to reply no thanks - it can take a lot of time, because too many men see “no thanks” as the beginning of a negotiation, rather than the end of communication.

Oh and one last point - if someone can’t accept a no thanks at the initial message stage, I will never, ever meet them, because I’ll never be able to trust that they will understand that no means no in other situations."

This is pretty much how all my recent exchanges with these bellends have gone. The ‘no’ response is seen as interest.

It’s really really simple for those guys insisting that it’s only polite to reply even if it’s no - it’s in the fab rules that no reply means no thanks. If you can’t handle that, leave. Don’t be a prick.

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By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston


" Howling! So true, and sadly very common now. We've started putting notes on the profiles who message and aren't suitable. If they're idiots and come back, T feeds them to me to mess with "

I thought I was the only one who did that. Trolling them is fun and they block you in retaliation! The nerve!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It's manipulation and an indicator of the person insisting on a reply.

I find it a good way of sifting messages.

"

Yup. Insisting on a reply is a good way to be blocked (without reply).

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

yeah there

Must admit I used to like a reply regardless, it stopped me wondering if the yellow sent message had got lost amongst a morass of messages.

Now I just delete and if they reply, they reply

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

No one has the right to "insist" on anything. It will get peoples back up regardless of gender I think.

As a bloke it's nice to get a polite "no thanks" rather than just be deleted, but it amounts to the same thing. Never saw the point in messaging again, although I have on rare occasions said something along the lines of "thanks for letting me know, have fun" kind of thing.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

Always amazes me, that a guy makes this comment, gets a lot of replies about the reason why it’s not rude, then scuttles away cowardly, without either accepting those reasons or arguing against those comments.

It’s ‘manners’ to read the FAQ of any site you’ve signed up to. But no one is critical about your lack of research

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

Always amazes me, that a guy makes this comment, gets a lot of replies about the reason why it’s not rude, then scuttles away cowardly, without either accepting those reasons or arguing against those comments.

It’s ‘manners’ to read the FAQ of any site you’ve signed up to. But no one is critical about your lack of research "

Surely it’s just good manners for him to reply to everyone who replied to his comment?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

Always amazes me, that a guy makes this comment, gets a lot of replies about the reason why it’s not rude, then scuttles away cowardly, without either accepting those reasons or arguing against those comments.

It’s ‘manners’ to read the FAQ of any site you’ve signed up to. But no one is critical about your lack of research "

Yes, learning the norms of the environment is manners, to me, rather than insisting that your manners trump the norms of the place you are.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

Always amazes me, that a guy makes this comment, gets a lot of replies about the reason why it’s not rude, then scuttles away cowardly, without either accepting those reasons or arguing against those comments.

It’s ‘manners’ to read the FAQ of any site you’ve signed up to. But no one is critical about your lack of research

Surely it’s just good manners for him to reply to everyone who replied to his comment?"

Precisely, every person who has argued against his ‘manners’ quote and given examples, surely deserves some comment.

But typical of the mindset he has, that he’s not man enough to come back and/ or apologise and recognise he’s learned something from the examples and replies he’s received.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

Always amazes me, that a guy makes this comment, gets a lot of replies about the reason why it’s not rude, then scuttles away cowardly, without either accepting those reasons or arguing against those comments.

It’s ‘manners’ to read the FAQ of any site you’ve signed up to. But no one is critical about your lack of research

Yes, learning the norms of the environment is manners, to me, rather than insisting that your manners trump the norms of the place you are."

The guys who do well on this site, know the way it works and spend time learning about the site, it’s tools forums, chat rooms etc..building up a profile and getting seen and involving themselves into the scene.

It ain’t Rocket Science

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By *rivate roomMan
over a year ago

Bracknell

I do not always get a reply from threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do not always get a reply from threads"

Well consider this my random act of kindness for the day...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do not always get a reply from threads"

I sometimes join them & it stops em' all together!!!

It's true

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By *iglittleoneMan
over a year ago

B76 is home


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message

You take my profile for a day and you will soon change your mind! You physically cannot reply "no thanks" to every mail received when you're faced with over 500+ per day on a quiet day!! "

Yes I can understand that x

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).


"Just had this happen on my single account. He messaged me this morning, and has since messaged me again ‘reminding’ me and requested a response either way.

I do find it annoying, and tbh I just deleted it immediately. My profile says I may not respond, and if they can’t read and respect what I say I’m my bio, are they going to if we did meet, no!

I’ve just edited my profile to make it clear what I think about these absolute virgins. If they can’t read then balls to em "

Brilliant edit to your profile. 100% get it, whiny little shits asking "why"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just had this happen on my single account. He messaged me this morning, and has since messaged me again ‘reminding’ me and requested a response either way.

I do find it annoying, and tbh I just deleted it immediately. My profile says I may not respond, and if they can’t read and respect what I say I’m my bio, are they going to if we did meet, no!

I’ve just edited my profile to make it clear what I think about these absolute virgins. If they can’t read then balls to em

Brilliant edit to your profile. 100% get it, whiny little shits asking "why"? "

It’s really angered me. This has happened maybe 3 times this week? Furious about it

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

Nothing new about pushy people not taking no for an answer, lonely people happy to have any one talk to them even if its a no or kind people who get the two mixed up.

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By *bwlookingforfunWoman
over a year ago

crawley

I make it easier, but I block people who don't read my bio, who are not my type, who send "hi" messages or who are simply not my type.

If I get nice message, I normally reply saying thank you, but no, and block after too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message

If it’s written in the rules then nobody should be demanding a reply. Ever. If it hurts these wankers that much then they shouldn’t be on Fab at all. "

100 percent agree... We clearly state in our profile no response is a response! see fab FAQ's it's not rude or ignorant so for all those cuntmuffins who expect or demand a response to unsolicited messages do us a favour jump in your douche canoes, cry us a river & float the fuck away

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By *andK78Couple
over a year ago

Newport

[Removed by poster at 09/12/20 18:59:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

been on this site since the beginning and other big sites before that when first on here i blocked no one not even if they were rude and over the years i got sick of it i even used to reply to most messages but those two little words no thanks seem to spark fury in some guys and others just would not take a no and think its ok to message back saying things like oh go on ..

no more i block now anyone abusive block anyone not bothered to read profile blocked if i dont fancy blocked i even pre block those with abusive status block block block and it works i get very very little abuse now i only reply if i think a meet may work others mass deleted ... the only thing thats a pain is those that open new accounts but in the end they end up showing there normal selves...

the block button is the best tool on fab i only meet guys so im not going to mass block for the sake the one ones im not interested in

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By *andK78Couple
over a year ago

Newport

The amount of Straight guys (on there profile) messaging but claiming to be bi is endless.

As for replies, did the recipient ask for the message, guess not.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

That rather depends on how many times you have to do it each and every day, especially since most of the senders haven't even read your profile first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"been on this site since the beginning and other big sites before that when first on here i blocked no one not even if they were rude and over the years i got sick of it i even used to reply to most messages but those two little words no thanks seem to spark fury in some guys and others just would not take a no and think its ok to message back saying things like oh go on ..

no more i block now anyone abusive block anyone not bothered to read profile blocked if i dont fancy blocked i even pre block those with abusive status block block block and it works i get very very little abuse now i only reply if i think a meet may work others mass deleted ... the only thing thats a pain is those that open new accounts but in the end they end up showing there normal selves...

the block button is the best tool on fab i only meet guys so im not going to mass block for the sake the one ones im not interested in"

I really didn’t want to have to be that girl but I’ve had to start doing this also. It’s quite ridiculous really but needs must. It’s clear the admins won’t be able to stop the dickheads anyway because they just make new profiles and carry on harassing folk. Time to take action myself I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got called a mannerless cu*t on my last profile, he sent a 4 word message which I ignored, six days later I got that . Disgusting behaviour.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Hey, we have to have “manors” (sic) and just meet n fuck them because that is what we are all here for at the end of the day...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection is never a good feeling regardless if the person deserve it or not.

For those single men they assume because we are on a fuck site, the preference is négociable or even irrelevant. They don’t realise that couple and single women have more choices than single men will ever have, for any dating site. So insulting is the last resort , showing that they are not that desperate, some kind of regain control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is never a good feeling regardless if the person deserve it or not.

For those single men they assume because we are on a fuck site, the preference is négociable or even irrelevant. They don’t realise that couple and single women have more choices than single men will ever have, for any dating site. So insulting is the last resort , showing that they are not that desperate, some kind of regain control. "

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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

It does when you have to do it multiple hundreds of times a day, as some of the ladies here would have to do. The Fab rules implicitly state that a read message with no reply is to be taken as a polite 'no thank you'. It's nothing to do with manners.

Fair play but still it's polite to message"

No. Some people don't have the time to reply to 300 messages saying no thanks and should not be made to feel to they are being rude for not replying to half arsed messages

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Something I’ve noticed recently - a lot of the men messaging me now seem to insist on a reply either positive or negative. Ie they insist I reply to say even if I’m NOT interested. When did this become the norm?

I was under the impression that if you don’t get a reply, that generally means they’re not interested and move on. Instead what I’m finding is when I bother to read a full message from someone insisting on a response, if I choose to ignore him, I inevitably get a load of abuse back. I’ve actually had to start reporting people for the first time on here because of some of the abuse.

What irritates me further is when I do reply with a polite no, the majority of these men don’t leave me alone. They ask why or demand I rethink my response. I’m starting to think they’re just like the cretins who send a message saying ‘can I ask you a question’ and are just using it as an in to start talking to me. 9 times out of 10 when I stop replying they become abusive. I’m frankly sick of it.

This is more a post to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon really, and to serve as a warning for anyone who hasn’t had this yet. "

Yes to all it’s madness

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

i save myself the bother and use the block button

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

i save myself the bother and use the block button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they insist on a reply, just say the reason is 'you are just not well equipped enough' that should do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Something I’ve noticed recently - a lot of the men messaging me now seem to insist on a reply either positive or negative. Ie they insist I reply to say even if I’m NOT interested. When did this become the norm?

I was under the impression that if you don’t get a reply, that generally means they’re not interested and move on. Instead what I’m finding is when I bother to read a full message from someone insisting on a response, if I choose to ignore him, I inevitably get a load of abuse back. I’ve actually had to start reporting people for the first time on here because of some of the abuse.

What irritates me further is when I do reply with a polite no, the majority of these men don’t leave me alone. They ask why or demand I rethink my response. I’m starting to think they’re just like the cretins who send a message saying ‘can I ask you a question’ and are just using it as an in to start talking to me. 9 times out of 10 when I stop replying they become abusive. I’m frankly sick of it.

This is more a post to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon really, and to serve as a warning for anyone who hasn’t had this yet. "

Just block single guys and only meet cpls. Less hassle. I have blocked all single guys on our profile from contacting us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rejection is never a good feeling regardless if the person deserve it or not.

For those single men they assume because we are on a fuck site, the preference is négociable or even irrelevant. They don’t realise that couple and single women have more choices than single men will ever have, for any dating site. So insulting is the last resort , showing that they are not that desperate, some kind of regain control. "
swinging site not a fuck site. Big difference!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me put this way if u enter a cookie market of thousand shops all the shop keeper is gonna come to your nose to sell the cookies and it’s up to you to ignore or entertain the cookie owner. So better have your own standard to choose the apt cookie for you. Please remember that doesn’t mean others are bad cookies

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By *iseekingbiCouple
over a year ago

N ireland and West Midlands

OP -If you're not interested just delete and block. There's no point in entering into a dialogue with them. Yes it may appear a little rude but it will save your time and theirs.

It's what we do anyway.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's asking for a block

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

If you don't want to reply then don't, OP. It's your choice, you don't owe anyone anything on here. As for the 'can I ask you a question’ messages, I reply 'you just have' and don't bother responding to any other messages sent by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my messages are now well u are rude for not replying. Its a pain to block 95% of people

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By *etro8Couple
over a year ago

Southampton

Just reply your genuine interest or no thank you if in doubt BLOCK.....there’s plenty of genuine guys on this site ....good luck.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

I happily reply. But if it is a "no", I will follow the message with an instantly block for two reasons.

1. So that I do not accidentally message or respond again.

2. So that they individual know instantly that no, means no.

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By *trangeleftyMan
over a year ago

London


"Something I’ve noticed recently - a lot of the men messaging me now seem to insist on a reply either positive or negative. Ie they insist I reply to say even if I’m NOT interested. When did this become the norm?

insecure little assholes! my advice is not to invest any energy into them

I was under the impression that if you don’t get a reply, that generally means they’re not interested and move on. Instead what I’m finding is when I bother to read a full message from someone insisting on a response, if I choose to ignore him, I inevitably get a load of abuse back. I’ve actually had to start reporting people for the first time on here because of some of the abuse.

What irritates me further is when I do reply with a polite no, the majority of these men don’t leave me alone. They ask why or demand I rethink my response. I’m starting to think they’re just like the cretins who send a message saying ‘can I ask you a question’ and are just using it as an in to start talking to me. 9 times out of 10 when I stop replying they become abusive. I’m frankly sick of it.

This is more a post to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon really, and to serve as a warning for anyone who hasn’t had this yet. "

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block button.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors

Always amazes me, that a guy makes this comment, gets a lot of replies about the reason why it’s not rude, then scuttles away cowardly, without either accepting those reasons or arguing against those comments.

It’s ‘manners’ to read the FAQ of any site you’ve signed up to. But no one is critical about your lack of research

Yes, learning the norms of the environment is manners, to me, rather than insisting that your manners trump the norms of the place you are.

The guys who do well on this site, know the way it works and spend time learning about the site, it’s tools forums, chat rooms etc..building up a profile and getting seen and involving themselves into the scene.

It ain’t Rocket Science "

Have to agree with this, in most cases understanding the site and the scene will get a lot of guys much further than a six pack and a monster cock does

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I favour conversations first so that it is pretty obvious of things are likely to progress, of course that doesn’t always work and I’m a fan of consent with enthusiasm, but understanding and appreciating the nuances of conversation is part of the fun for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi. Just carry on being firm and polite. I as one can accept that. Then block those men that can't accept that.

Can I ask you something? Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/12/20 08:57:41]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just had this happen on my single account. He messaged me this morning, and has since messaged me again ‘reminding’ me and requested a response either way.

I do find it annoying, and tbh I just deleted it immediately. My profile says I may not respond, and if they can’t read and respect what I say I’m my bio, are they going to if we did meet, no!

I’ve just edited my profile to make it clear what I think about these absolute virgins. If they can’t read then balls to em Jesus get over yourself "

FOUND ONE! Does it hurt your fi fi’s that the consensus is with me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi. Just carry on being firm and polite. I as one can accept that. Then block those men that can't accept that.

Can I ask you something? Lol. "

I’m being firm and polite where it warrants it, but I refuse to be spoken to like shit by anyone. The way some people have spoken to me on here wouldn’t dare face to face. I’d take one of their eyes out.

Interestingly in the last half an hour someone’s DM’d me from the thread, starting off all nicey nicey and asking for details of what’s happened. Then when I pointed out it’s in the rules and anyone so emotionally unstable enough to not take a rejection shouldn’t be on the site, they got nasty. More fool me for responding to a single male I suppose but I just found it interesting. So the new MO is ‘agree with me or you’re an awful person’.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure. "

Its your choice being here no one else’s. I appreciate that it must be difficult for single guys here but they make up probably well over 90% of the users here. This is exactly why the rule of ‘no reply means no’ was established. Being bombarded all day incessantly to have it followed up by abuse from a handful of knobheads is just exhausting. But at least you’ve acknowledged why we ignore a lot of messages. That’s a start.

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By *lim and louiseCouple
over a year ago

dromore

We've had one or two,we just block them,too pushy for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

Its your choice being here no one else’s. I appreciate that it must be difficult for single guys here but they make up probably well over 90% of the users here. This is exactly why the rule of ‘no reply means no’ was established. Being bombarded all day incessantly to have it followed up by abuse from a handful of knobheads is just exhausting. But at least you’ve acknowledged why we ignore a lot of messages. That’s a start. "

I always put other people before myself so it's easy to acknowledge.

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By *lim and louiseCouple
over a year ago

dromore

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By *lim and louiseCouple
over a year ago

dromore

And if you do reply to their questions,demands,they seem to think they are on to a winner,err NO !!!

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure. "

It wouldn’t be harassment, and anyway acceptable work behaviour is a very different thing from the Fab world. How many messages do you send on here each day? Not counting existing conversations. 10? 20? 50? Would you really feel better about yourself if you got 10, 20 or 50 “no thanks” replies?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

It wouldn’t be harassment, and anyway acceptable work behaviour is a very different thing from the Fab world. How many messages do you send on here each day? Not counting existing conversations. 10? 20? 50? Would you really feel better about yourself if you got 10, 20 or 50 “no thanks” replies?"

I send 1 message each day on average if you take it over 1 month. I didn't think a guy would send 50.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

It wouldn’t be harassment, and anyway acceptable work behaviour is a very different thing from the Fab world. How many messages do you send on here each day? Not counting existing conversations. 10? 20? 50? Would you really feel better about yourself if you got 10, 20 or 50 “no thanks” replies?

I send 1 message each day on average if you take it over 1 month. I didn't think a guy would send 50."

You’d be very very surprised. I regularly get repeat messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

It wouldn’t be harassment, and anyway acceptable work behaviour is a very different thing from the Fab world. How many messages do you send on here each day? Not counting existing conversations. 10? 20? 50? Would you really feel better about yourself if you got 10, 20 or 50 “no thanks” replies?

I send 1 message each day on average if you take it over 1 month. I didn't think a guy would send 50.

You’d be very very surprised. I regularly get repeat messages "

I would not have the time to send 50 a day. I would not expect a woman to reply to 50 every day as she would need paid for all that work. She would have to leave her job to keep up with the messages. It would like a admin job lol

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By *uietly torturedCouple
over a year ago

walkden

Haven't had this yet but if we did would probably just delete & block. Same as the idiots who send a friend request without messaging first as they obviously haven't bothered to read the profile first either.

If guys can't be bothered to put a bit of effort in they're probably the same in bed

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

The thing that gets my goat most of all is those who message me and insist on a reply who clearly have not even read my profile text. Like I should be grateful for their cut and paste message and use my manners, despite them approaching me with none at all.

My profile current states that I do not want to chat to strangers so if you message me I will not respond. It also says I do not want to see your penis so if you send me a picture of it or you double message me when I didn’t reply the first time then I’ll block you. Despite this completely clear information I get daily messages from people asking if I fancy a chat, or a meet, or them brandishing their dreadful penis at me. I then get repeat messages if I didn’t block first time round. So they either don’t read the profile or they think it doesn’t apply to them. I can’t stand it. I wouldn’t want to meet any of these cretins in real life, imagine what awful people they must be to not even bother to check for some indication that person they’re approaching might want them to. Or be so full of themselves that they think they’ll be the ones to change a persons mind.

When I was meeting, pre Covid I stated on my profile that I was only attracted to black men and got inundated with messages from white men showing me their penises and saying how they have a big one, or asking if I’d make an exception to my preference for them.

If I hadn’t met some genuinely excellent people through Fab I’d have run a mile by now because the lions share of people who’ve messaged me are so entitled and disrespectful I’d never want to meet them if they were the last people on earth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing that gets my goat most of all is those who message me and insist on a reply who clearly have not even read my profile text. Like I should be grateful for their cut and paste message and use my manners, despite them approaching me with none at all.

My profile current states that I do not want to chat to strangers so if you message me I will not respond. It also says I do not want to see your penis so if you send me a picture of it or you double message me when I didn’t reply the first time then I’ll block you. Despite this completely clear information I get daily messages from people asking if I fancy a chat, or a meet, or them brandishing their dreadful penis at me. I then get repeat messages if I didn’t block first time round. So they either don’t read the profile or they think it doesn’t apply to them. I can’t stand it. I wouldn’t want to meet any of these cretins in real life, imagine what awful people they must be to not even bother to check for some indication that person they’re approaching might want them to. Or be so full of themselves that they think they’ll be the ones to change a persons mind.

When I was meeting, pre Covid I stated on my profile that I was only attracted to black men and got inundated with messages from white men showing me their penises and saying how they have a big one, or asking if I’d make an exception to my preference for them.

If I hadn’t met some genuinely excellent people through Fab I’d have run a mile by now because the lions share of people who’ve messaged me are so entitled and disrespectful I’d never want to meet them if they were the last people on earth. "

Keep perving then

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The thing that gets my goat most of all is those who message me and insist on a reply who clearly have not even read my profile text. Like I should be grateful for their cut and paste message and use my manners, despite them approaching me with none at all.

My profile current states that I do not want to chat to strangers so if you message me I will not respond. It also says I do not want to see your penis so if you send me a picture of it or you double message me when I didn’t reply the first time then I’ll block you. Despite this completely clear information I get daily messages from people asking if I fancy a chat, or a meet, or them brandishing their dreadful penis at me. I then get repeat messages if I didn’t block first time round. So they either don’t read the profile or they think it doesn’t apply to them. I can’t stand it. I wouldn’t want to meet any of these cretins in real life, imagine what awful people they must be to not even bother to check for some indication that person they’re approaching might want them to. Or be so full of themselves that they think they’ll be the ones to change a persons mind.

When I was meeting, pre Covid I stated on my profile that I was only attracted to black men and got inundated with messages from white men showing me their penises and saying how they have a big one, or asking if I’d make an exception to my preference for them.

If I hadn’t met some genuinely excellent people through Fab I’d have run a mile by now because the lions share of people who’ve messaged me are so entitled and disrespectful I’d never want to meet them if they were the last people on earth. "

This all day ^

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I also think it’s worse at the moment because a lot of new people have joined fab throughout the lockdowns. They, and existing Fabbers are lonely and this year has taken its toll mentally on a lot of people. Some are genuinely desperate during some human interaction so aren’t cut out for rejection at the moment. They shouldn’t be here IMO because they’re vulnerable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I also think it’s worse at the moment because a lot of new people have joined fab throughout the lockdowns. They, and existing Fabbers are lonely and this year has taken its toll mentally on a lot of people. Some are genuinely desperate during some human interaction so aren’t cut out for rejection at the moment. They shouldn’t be here IMO because they’re vulnerable."

Which was exactly my point to the guy DM’ing me. But his response was that people should ‘be kind’ and respond either way. No I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that and fab is not a charity case no matter how much some guys want it to be.

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By *lim and louiseCouple
over a year ago

dromore

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I also think it’s worse at the moment because a lot of new people have joined fab throughout the lockdowns. They, and existing Fabbers are lonely and this year has taken its toll mentally on a lot of people. Some are genuinely desperate during some human interaction so aren’t cut out for rejection at the moment. They shouldn’t be here IMO because they’re vulnerable.

Which was exactly my point to the guy DM’ing me. But his response was that people should ‘be kind’ and respond either way. No I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that and fab is not a charity case no matter how much some guys want it to be. "

I agree. I know how hard it is to be lonely and struggle, I’ve been there myself. I’m not on here to support strangers though, and whilst some are here for that, they’re rare. If someone saw my profile and thought they might like to build a friendship of some kind with me, a quick read of my profile would make clear that that’s not what I want right now and a decent, balanced person would move on to the next person. It’s not fair to call me unkind because I don’t want the same things, but plenty do.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"The thing that gets my goat most of all is those who message me and insist on a reply who clearly have not even read my profile text. Like I should be grateful for their cut and paste message and use my manners, despite them approaching me with none at all.

My profile current states that I do not want to chat to strangers so if you message me I will not respond. It also says I do not want to see your penis so if you send me a picture of it or you double message me when I didn’t reply the first time then I’ll block you. Despite this completely clear information I get daily messages from people asking if I fancy a chat, or a meet, or them brandishing their dreadful penis at me. I then get repeat messages if I didn’t block first time round. So they either don’t read the profile or they think it doesn’t apply to them. I can’t stand it. I wouldn’t want to meet any of these cretins in real life, imagine what awful people they must be to not even bother to check for some indication that person they’re approaching might want them to. Or be so full of themselves that they think they’ll be the ones to change a persons mind.

When I was meeting, pre Covid I stated on my profile that I was only attracted to black men and got inundated with messages from white men showing me their penises and saying how they have a big one, or asking if I’d make an exception to my preference for them.

If I hadn’t met some genuinely excellent people through Fab I’d have run a mile by now because the lions share of people who’ve messaged me are so entitled and disrespectful I’d never want to meet them if they were the last people on earth.

Keep perving then"

I will, thanks.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

It wouldn’t be harassment, and anyway acceptable work behaviour is a very different thing from the Fab world. How many messages do you send on here each day? Not counting existing conversations. 10? 20? 50? Would you really feel better about yourself if you got 10, 20 or 50 “no thanks” replies?

I send 1 message each day on average if you take it over 1 month. I didn't think a guy would send 50.

You’d be very very surprised. I regularly get repeat messages

I would not have the time to send 50 a day. I would not expect a woman to reply to 50 every day as she would need paid for all that work. She would have to leave her job to keep up with the messages. It would like a admin job lol"

I think some send more than that, but I guess it doesn’t take long to send “hi” or a copy and paste 50 times. But the part about it being an admin job to reply to that many is exactly the point - many women get a lot more than 50 messages a day.

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By *ogisticalBigManMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

I think some send more than that, but I guess it doesn’t take long to send “hi” or a copy and paste 50 times. But the part about it being an admin job to reply to that many is exactly the point - many women get a lot more than 50 messages a day."

Too right. I've seen statuses from ladies daunting they have 1000's let alone 50

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"“We are all for the same thing here at the end of the day, a cock is a cock, why u have to be fussy its just sex hun... I will make u cum loads”

Hahaha that is the way they try to convince me "

Laughing at how accurate this is for us too.

Had a message this morning asking to ' can I borrow your Mrs for half hour mate' what the actual fuck!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

Its your choice being here no one else’s. I appreciate that it must be difficult for single guys here but they make up probably well over 90% of the users here. This is exactly why the rule of ‘no reply means no’ was established. Being bombarded all day incessantly to have it followed up by abuse from a handful of knobheads is just exhausting. But at least you’ve acknowledged why we ignore a lot of messages. That’s a start.

I always put other people before myself so it's easy to acknowledge. "

So I should prioritise other people over myself, they are more important than me, their mental health takes priority. I don’t think so, that’s a very unhealthy attitude to have.

As someone said further up, the attitude of some people on here is appalling, they can be so disrespectful and entitled.

I don’t owe anyone anything on here, and no one owes me anything. We are all here for our one personal reasons and are entitled to run our profiles as we see fit.

HC

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

What? Are the women not here to serve the men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have simple rule

If we reply with a polite No and still get messages then we block that profile.

Move on .

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

I made a post about this in the Scotland thread, men on here are becoming way more agressive than they used to be, they are becoming entitled. I just it's frustrating to not get your hole during covid, but I've never dealt with so much abuse from people who want to fuck me. I've also been getting lots of people who are standing up for poor behaviour. We are all adults, and I'm used to being one of the you hear swingers. If I can have some common decency not to call you a dick, when you as a man have made inappropriate comments, unwanted advanced, or been generally rude then I don't deserve to be shouted at. Fab is a joke at the moment, more harm than it's worth

I'm tarring everyone with the same brush, I couldn't care at this stage. If you aren't a bad person you shouldn't get offended by me calling out men as a group.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"It doesn't take long to put 'no thanks' but maybe I was raised with manors"

That's the sort of passive/aggressive stuff that put people off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and one last point - if someone can’t accept a no thanks at the initial message stage, I will never, ever meet them, because I’ll never be able to trust that they will understand that no means no in other situations."

This, in spades!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I made a post about this in the Scotland thread, men on here are becoming way more agressive than they used to be, they are becoming entitled. I just it's frustrating to not get your hole during covid, but I've never dealt with so much abuse from people who want to fuck me. I've also been getting lots of people who are standing up for poor behaviour. We are all adults, and I'm used to being one of the you hear swingers. If I can have some common decency not to call you a dick, when you as a man have made inappropriate comments, unwanted advanced, or been generally rude then I don't deserve to be shouted at. Fab is a joke at the moment, more harm than it's worth

I'm tarring everyone with the same brush, I couldn't care at this stage. If you aren't a bad person you shouldn't get offended by me calling out men as a group. "

That is why we have blocked men o. Here. I had so much abuse for saying no thank you to meeting guys for sex it was not worth tbe bother so i just blocked all guys. Jen.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Oh and one last point - if someone can’t accept a no thanks at the initial message stage, I will never, ever meet them, because I’ll never be able to trust that they will understand that no means no in other situations.

This, in spades!"

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

It's so shit that we are all going through this, maybe time for a new swinging site :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, people demanding a reply!!! I'd never be so presumptuous. But then again it takes all sorts to make a world.

Surely an absence of a reply is reply enough!!!

It is fer me. I just delete my message, shrug shoulders and move on.

Sadly, I shrug regularly. ?????????

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Oh and one last point - if someone can’t accept a no thanks at the initial message stage, I will never, ever meet them, because I’ll never be able to trust that they will understand that no means no in other situations.

This, in spades!

"

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By *ucky24Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Speaking as a single male who only sent "respectful" message I did used to feel a bit put out not to even receive a polite thanks but no thanks. But the past 18 months on here has been a real eye opener. After chatting with women on the forum threads and making some good friends, some of their stories and experiences really shocked me.

Written abuse from the initial message through to general low level misogyny, escalating when they are told no.

One good friend told me that a guy chatting to her said he would fuck a woman off Fab but never go out with her. Wow there is a way to a woman's heart and mind straight out of the "how to win friends and influence people" handbook.

I liken Fab to a restaurant where the food decides if it wants to be eaten. However some think it is a takeaway app, in that I've ordered it and it better well be delivered quickly.

So now if I don't receive a reply I don't take it personally. It is what it is.

If I do I simply respond by saying thanks and happy fabbing and don't bother them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's so shit that we are all going through this, maybe time for a new swinging site :/"

Do you think that would be some kind of utopia where people suddenly turn into saints in the pursuit of sex?

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth


"It's so shit that we are all going through this, maybe time for a new swinging site :/

Do you think that would be some kind of utopia where people suddenly turn into saints in the pursuit of sex?"

Not at all, but maybe have a website that actually gets rid of arseholes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's so shit that we are all going through this, maybe time for a new swinging site :/

Do you think that would be some kind of utopia where people suddenly turn into saints in the pursuit of sex?

Not at all, but maybe have a website that actually gets rid of arseholes "

Put it on your list to Santa, but don't get your hopes up too much

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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"It's so shit that we are all going through this, maybe time for a new swinging site :/"

We like this website

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I like the website. It’s still a damn site better than anywhere else I’ve used. Just needs the aggressive misogynists to be dealt with properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a mannerless cu*t on my last profile, he sent a 4 word message which I ignored, six days later I got that . Disgusting behaviour."

Wow!!! Now that is appalling!!!! Half the time I think about quitting fab cos I don't wanna be tarred with the same brush!

To be called what you were is quite frankly beyong the pail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like the website. It’s still a damn site better than anywhere else I’ve used. Just needs the aggressive misogynists to be dealt with properly. "

How do you propose that happens on here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like the website. It’s still a damn site better than anywhere else I’ve used. Just needs the aggressive misogynists to be dealt with properly.

How do you propose that happens on here?"

They get their accounts deleted if they’re reported for being a gobshite. Inconvenience them enough and they might start behaving. As it stands they just block two aggrieved parties from contacting each other or seeing their content. So the aggressor is free to go on and behave the same way over and over again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a mannerless cu*t on my last profile, he sent a 4 word message which I ignored, six days later I got that . Disgusting behaviour.

Wow!!! Now that is appalling!!!! Half the time I think about quitting fab cos I don't wanna be tarred with the same brush!

To be called what you were is quite frankly beyong the pail."

I got called a boring c**t because I wasn't responding to someone and then another user said I must be if that bloke had called me one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like the website. It’s still a damn site better than anywhere else I’ve used. Just needs the aggressive misogynists to be dealt with properly.

How do you propose that happens on here?

They get their accounts deleted if they’re reported for being a gobshite. Inconvenience them enough and they might start behaving. As it stands they just block two aggrieved parties from contacting each other or seeing their content. So the aggressor is free to go on and behave the same way over and over again "

What about the folk who are gobshites back to them-should their accounts be deleted too?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like the website. It’s still a damn site better than anywhere else I’ve used. Just needs the aggressive misogynists to be dealt with properly.

How do you propose that happens on here?

They get their accounts deleted if they’re reported for being a gobshite. Inconvenience them enough and they might start behaving. As it stands they just block two aggrieved parties from contacting each other or seeing their content. So the aggressor is free to go on and behave the same way over and over again

What about the folk who are gobshites back to them-should their accounts be deleted too?"

Why should they? They didn’t initiate contact and certainly didn’t start the abuse, so why should they be punished for defending themselves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like the website. It’s still a damn site better than anywhere else I’ve used. Just needs the aggressive misogynists to be dealt with properly.

How do you propose that happens on here?

They get their accounts deleted if they’re reported for being a gobshite. Inconvenience them enough and they might start behaving. As it stands they just block two aggrieved parties from contacting each other or seeing their content. So the aggressor is free to go on and behave the same way over and over again

What about the folk who are gobshites back to them-should their accounts be deleted too?

Why should they? They didn’t initiate contact and certainly didn’t start the abuse, so why should they be punished for defending themselves? "

Can you not see the potential problems in this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a mannerless cu*t on my last profile, he sent a 4 word message which I ignored, six days later I got that . Disgusting behaviour.

Wow!!! Now that is appalling!!!! Half the time I think about quitting fab cos I don't wanna be tarred with the same brush!

To be called what you were is quite frankly beyong the pail.

I got called a boring c**t because I wasn't responding to someone and then another user said I must be if that bloke had called me one. "

It’s unbelievable isn’t it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a mannerless cu*t on my last profile, he sent a 4 word message which I ignored, six days later I got that . Disgusting behaviour.

Wow!!! Now that is appalling!!!! Half the time I think about quitting fab cos I don't wanna be tarred with the same brush!

To be called what you were is quite frankly beyong the pail."

Yep, it was really horrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first came onto this site I used to reply “ no thanks “ but this just seems to invite even more reply’s from them , “ what’s wrong with me “ am I not your type” etc etc now I just ignore them seems to be the best way , they soon move onto someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

Its your choice being here no one else’s. I appreciate that it must be difficult for single guys here but they make up probably well over 90% of the users here. This is exactly why the rule of ‘no reply means no’ was established. Being bombarded all day incessantly to have it followed up by abuse from a handful of knobheads is just exhausting. But at least you’ve acknowledged why we ignore a lot of messages. That’s a start.

I always put other people before myself so it's easy to acknowledge.

So I should prioritise other people over myself, they are more important than me, their mental health takes priority. I don’t think so, that’s a very unhealthy attitude to have.

As someone said further up, the attitude of some people on here is appalling, they can be so disrespectful and entitled.

I don’t owe anyone anything on here, and no one owes me anything. We are all here for our one personal reasons and are entitled to run our profiles as we see fit.

HC"

It is what I do put other people first you don't have to do this it's your choice. I run a successful buy to let business and it has worked for me. Good things always come back to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been finding people get so aggressive and nasty If you don’t reply,

I have received so many messages in a day and no time to answer them all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand why it would be overwhelming to get so many mesaages, and annoying when someone persists after you have replied with a NO.

However, this exact thing happened to me years ago on here.

I messaged a woman on here, she replied back saying I am not her type. I said to her, I am not photogenic, just meet me for a drink, if you still feel the same way, no bother at all.

She agreed, one drink turned into a bottle of champers that night.

We then went on to spent 3 amazing years together as a couple, went away together many times, had a couple profile on here, best time I ever had.

Last year she took a job in NY, great opportunity for her, and that was that.

I had a feeling that me and her would get along. I knew from her profile, her pictures, and from that first night, I knew she was special.

My point is, sometimes, very rarely, the repeat messages work

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I’ve just got

“Pft you call yourself a slut your just a time waster” and then they blocked me LOL!!

Apparently a stupid fab name means I’m not allowed any standards and have to say yes to everyone hahaha!

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By *udistcpl1Couple
over a year ago

Wirral

The block button works really well.

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Something I’ve noticed recently - a lot of the men messaging me now seem to insist on a reply either positive or negative. Ie they insist I reply to say even if I’m NOT interested. When did this become the norm?

I was under the impression that if you don’t get a reply, that generally means they’re not interested and move on. Instead what I’m finding is when I bother to read a full message from someone insisting on a response, if I choose to ignore him, I inevitably get a load of abuse back. I’ve actually had to start reporting people for the first time on here because of some of the abuse.

What irritates me further is when I do reply with a polite no, the majority of these men don’t leave me alone. They ask why or demand I rethink my response. I’m starting to think they’re just like the cretins who send a message saying ‘can I ask you a question’ and are just using it as an in to start talking to me. 9 times out of 10 when I stop replying they become abusive. I’m frankly sick of it.

This is more a post to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon really, and to serve as a warning for anyone who hasn’t had this yet. "
I have met about 6 women who ignored my first message so it clearly doesn’t doesn’t mean not interested all the time.

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By *attM73Man
over a year ago

Oldham


"A man that demands a reply is never going to accept being turned down but rather is seeking the opportunity to “persuade” ie bully you into changing your mind..

Unfortunately more and more guys on here feel entitled to something, usually with little to know effort on their part. Well said, and it’s normally us single genuine guys who don’t give crap back who get it in the neck, one of the defo down sides to fab

I can’t tell you why because personally I can’t understand it myself and it frustrates me as well because it turns people away from ALL guys which has a negative impact on the genuine decent guys out there.

You should instantly block anyone that makes demands.

"

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By *attM73Man
over a year ago

Oldham


"A man that demands a reply is never going to accept being turned down but rather is seeking the opportunity to “persuade” ie bully you into changing your mind..

Unfortunately more and more guys on here feel entitled to something, usually with little to know effort on their part.

I can’t tell you why because personally I can’t understand it myself and it frustrates me as well because it turns people away from ALL guys which has a negative impact on the genuine decent guys out there.

You should instantly block anyone that makes demands.

"
Well said mate, it’s normally us single genuine fellas who get the bum deal, after these cretins have ruined it for all, defo a downside to fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Something I’ve noticed recently - a lot of the men messaging me now seem to insist on a reply either positive or negative. Ie they insist I reply to say even if I’m NOT interested. When did this become the norm?

I was under the impression that if you don’t get a reply, that generally means they’re not interested and move on. Instead what I’m finding is when I bother to read a full message from someone insisting on a response, if I choose to ignore him, I inevitably get a load of abuse back. I’ve actually had to start reporting people for the first time on here because of some of the abuse.

What irritates me further is when I do reply with a polite no, the majority of these men don’t leave me alone. They ask why or demand I rethink my response. I’m starting to think they’re just like the cretins who send a message saying ‘can I ask you a question’ and are just using it as an in to start talking to me. 9 times out of 10 when I stop replying they become abusive. I’m frankly sick of it.

This is more a post to see if anyone else has noticed this phenomenon really, and to serve as a warning for anyone who hasn’t had this yet. I have met about 6 women who ignored my first message so it clearly doesn’t doesn’t mean not interested all the time."

Be honest - did you become abusive when they ignored your first message?

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I can understand why it would be overwhelming to get so many mesaages, and annoying when someone persists after you have replied with a NO.

However, this exact thing happened to me years ago on here.

I messaged a woman on here, she replied back saying I am not her type. I said to her, I am not photogenic, just meet me for a drink, if you still feel the same way, no bother at all.

She agreed, one drink turned into a bottle of champers that night.

We then went on to spent 3 amazing years together as a couple, went away together many times, had a couple profile on here, best time I ever had.

Last year she took a job in NY, great opportunity for her, and that was that.

I had a feeling that me and her would get along. I knew from her profile, her pictures, and from that first night, I knew she was special.

My point is, sometimes, very rarely, the repeat messages work

"

See, that wouldn’t work with me at all, because the “just meet me for a drink” bit would really annoy me. To me, that’s not a repeat message, I see a repeat message as sending a second message when the first hasn’t been replied to, and that does sometimes work - my FWB messaged me in my first couple of days when I was inundated, and he followed up and got back to the top of my inbox at just the right moment. That worked. But for me, pestering when I’ve actually said no wouldn’t work at all.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I can understand why it would be overwhelming to get so many mesaages, and annoying when someone persists after you have replied with a NO.

However, this exact thing happened to me years ago on here.

I messaged a woman on here, she replied back saying I am not her type. I said to her, I am not photogenic, just meet me for a drink, if you still feel the same way, no bother at all.

She agreed, one drink turned into a bottle of champers that night.

We then went on to spent 3 amazing years together as a couple, went away together many times, had a couple profile on here, best time I ever had.

Last year she took a job in NY, great opportunity for her, and that was that.

I had a feeling that me and her would get along. I knew from her profile, her pictures, and from that first night, I knew she was special.

My point is, sometimes, very rarely, the repeat messages work

"

If anyone persists after I say no, no matter how gently I do so, I block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a mannerless cu*t on my last profile, he sent a 4 word message which I ignored, six days later I got that . Disgusting behaviour.

Wow!!! Now that is appalling!!!! Half the time I think about quitting fab cos I don't wanna be tarred with the same brush!

To be called what you were is quite frankly beyong the pail.

I got called a boring c**t because I wasn't responding to someone and then another user said I must be if that bloke had called me one.

It’s unbelievable isn’t it "

It is, some are really vile on here. The 'another user' on a previous profile also said when I said he wasn't my type, that my type was me punching above my weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do feel for woman getting loads off messages from single men. I feel a no is best as at least your not been ignored. If I was to go about work all day and ignore everyone it would be harassment. On the other side I can't stop guys going mad when they get a no so it's maybe best to ignore them then. If I get ignored much more I may just leave this site and put my efforts and energy into something else which will make me more confident and financially secure.

Its your choice being here no one else’s. I appreciate that it must be difficult for single guys here but they make up probably well over 90% of the users here. This is exactly why the rule of ‘no reply means no’ was established. Being bombarded all day incessantly to have it followed up by abuse from a handful of knobheads is just exhausting. But at least you’ve acknowledged why we ignore a lot of messages. That’s a start.

I always put other people before myself so it's easy to acknowledge.

So I should prioritise other people over myself, they are more important than me, their mental health takes priority. I don’t think so, that’s a very unhealthy attitude to have.

As someone said further up, the attitude of some people on here is appalling, they can be so disrespectful and entitled.

I don’t owe anyone anything on here, and no one owes me anything. We are all here for our one personal reasons and are entitled to run our profiles as we see fit.

HC

It is what I do put other people first you don't have to do this it's your choice. I run a successful buy to let business and it has worked for me. Good things always come back to me. "

I’m not saying don’t do things for others or be selfish, but if you put others wellbeing above your own then it’s not healthy, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

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By *eachPreacherMan
over a year ago

Kent/London

I dont understand the people who dish out harassment when not getting a reply, those people clearly dont deserve to be taken seriously. That being said, when you've spent ages writing multiple well thought out messages to people only to get blanked or not even read by all of them (or straight up blocked), it does become incredibly depressing. So it's nice to get some feedback or at least a "no thanks" once in a while.

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