FabSwingers.com forum: Getting it up

By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Just a question?How many guys,couples have found that on their first meet...they have let the nerves get to them and cant get a full erection .....or cant go through with it?

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry cant help you with that

i just tend to go with the flow yes get butterflys just before the meet then it soon ends within seconds

all i can say dont ever expect to much and dont try to hard to please just chill and enjoy

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Yes i understand...i do get very nervous..and want to please but maybe trying to hard and thats the prob...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get very nervous before meets mostly with couples. But I find just chill out relax have a good chat and a bit of flirting usually gets the fella twitching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea this has happened with most of our single guy meets but after a wee chat usually there up for a good night

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Just a question?How many guys,couples have found that on their first meet...they have let the nerves get to them and cant get a full erection .....or cant go through with it?

Thanks

Fortunately, this has never happened to me.

I only wish I could recover quicker for round 2...

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

oh ur lucky....it does seem like most people on here are pretty understanding!and im sure things will improve with time lol............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been meeting people for years and I still get the butterflies before meeting new people.

I don't get hard straight away - I need some warming up - there has to be interaction beyond the sexual for that to happen, be it a kiss, a stroke or even just seeing them become aroused.

For some reason (and I'm still at a loss as to why) I get a lot of messages from blokes who want to 'just come in, drop to their knees and suck me off'

I always decline such kind offers as it would simply not work for me.

So nerves are a factor, but don't fail to recognise that some of us are far less sexual animals than others.

Being a member of a site like this, it is easy to assume that all the others hop to it and are turned on in seconds irregardless of the circumstances.

That is not the case.

Remember, our social conditioning tells us that what we do is not 'normal' behaviour and that also, to a degree, can be a factor as sex for many is seen as part of love making as opposed to a recreational activity.

The worst thing you can do is make an issue of it in your head.

Then it will become a problem as opposed to you just being you.

Look at the pics on here - the group shots will usually reveal at least guy who is either flaccid or with a semi.

I would say that rather than having a problem, you have just simply not met the right person (or people) FOR YOU and for where you're at now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So nerves are a factor, but don't fail to recognise that some of us are far less sexual animals than others.

Being a member of a site like this, it is easy to assume that all the others hop to it and are turned on in seconds irregardless of the circumstances.

That is not the case. The worst thing you can do is make an issue of it in your head. Then it will become a problem as opposed to you just being you."

Sorry for editing your characteristically wise words Bussy, but those above were the key ones for me.

It's difficult for me to put myself in the shoes of a relative newbie when it comes to pre-meet nerves as I have been 'at it' so long now, but even I get them sometimes.

It is very easy to let the nerves build up over more and more meets, at which point is DOES become a problem. Somehow you HAVE to get into the mindset of when a meet is over - no matter how well or otherwise it went - you have to lock it away in a box and open the next new box - which may contain a nice surprise

One thing NOT to get worried about is not getting an erection right away. It is VERY easy to be fooled by watching porn and getting the idea that that is what 'should' be happening.

The other thing you have to accept, as Bussy rightly points out, is that not everyone will turn you on in the same way or to the same degree - that's life. Sex would be pretty boring if it was the same with each and every partner, would it not.......??

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Thanks guys...its good to know that im not meant to b a porn star straight away!....anyway thanks for all your support .

Jay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like any first date, you are going to feel nervous at some point, be it before, during or after. The social side is very important for me, I can't hop into bed with someone I haven't spoken to for more than a couple of minutes. Take it slow and enjoy the company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bet you thought you were going to get slated bud fair doooooos everyone suffers one way or the other as we are not performing seals hehehhehe

just chill bud enjoy the ride so to speak

pete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get nervous before a meet too,

obviously I dont have erection issues but if my meet was feeling nervous I would try and help them relax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have xon our first meet everytime the other woman touched me i lost erection til mrs twin came to my aid x think most men do tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loss of erection or failure is simply caused by trying too hard...don't be afraid to sit back and watch and allow the atmosphere to take over...better than my first ever meet...30 secs...ooops...but 20 mins later we had a good night...that was years ago though...

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Yes i did think ...i was going to b slated..but ther are infact a good bunch on here!!!...I feel pretty good now ,it was almost putting me off meeting with any new people!!!

Jay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i did think ...i was going to b slated..but ther are infact a good bunch on here!!!...I feel pretty good now ,it was almost putting me off meeting with any new people!!!

Jay

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If you're at a club, party etc, there's potentially less pressure, as you can move on, if you're uncomfortable, or just be chatty and friendly with people, rather than straight into action.

The only pressure we have is what we've created. Choose people wisely to be around, maybe meet some partners more than once, if it helps you feel more comfortable etc. Take time to master the art of relaxation, stilling your mind - like most things we learn, it's a skill and becomes easier to engage when we want to, the more skilled we are. Also, note what you're saying to yourself when/if you get a problem: stop any self-criticism and re-engage your calmer state of mind. We're all unique, and most of us realise that of our partners, so don't expect porn star out of the box performance etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i did think ...i was going to b slated..but ther are infact a good bunch on here!!!...I feel pretty good now ,it was almost putting me off meeting with any new people!!!

Jay

Jay, everyone's been there mate, and if the collective mind of the Fab-Borg can't help you, who can??????

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Cheers all!!!!

Jay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very easy going and relaxed kind of person but i still get a little nevous sometimes but i think it is more excitement more than anything,as in what they are wearing etc.You just need to channel your feelings a bit better because the subconcious mind is a very powerful tool.

You may be getting ready to bang the hottest lady around but if you have any doubt in the back of your mind you will not be able to perform no matter how hard you try.If it makes you feel any better get some viagra (proper not fake stuff) from lloyds pharmacy,it can be done online without prescription then just go and pick it up from your nearest store.

You will feel lioke you have a steel rod in your pants all night!!.Not cheap but if you are only meeting once a month or so its o.k. Good luck.

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Will they put it in a brown paper bag...lol

Thanks

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By *outhlondondudeMan
over a year ago

london

"Just a question?How many guys,couples have found that on their first meet...they have let the nerves get to them and cant get a full erection .....or cant go through with it?

Thanks

"
-

Oh yes! Nerves has often given me a real problem on first meets. Why its good to get a second chance when you can easier be yourself.

As to not being able to go through with it, it is better to 'screen' the other person first so you tend to avoid that result.

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By *thlete0Couple
over a year ago

southend

We are always sooooo Nervous!!

Just relax its all in ur head dude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Will they put it in a brown paper bag...lol

Thanks

Lol its already labeled with your name on it and as you have to pay online there is no fuss either.Just go to the counter and say"i have an online order to collect" and give your name simple as that.You will get texts to say when your order is ready for collection as well.

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Ok that maybe an option then...i do think that if i met someone more than once things would improve!!

Jay

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Just a question?How many guys,couples have found that on their first meet...they have let the nerves get to them and cant get a full erection .....or cant go through with it?

Thanks

We both still get butterflies before a meet (even if we have met them before!)

I (Mrs) nearly chickened out of a meet once as I was literally shaking with nerves. So glad that I didn't as it turned out to be one of our best meets to date.

Think that as long as you just take each meet as it comes and don't have too many expectations....can't really go wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always get nervous and without any nerves it would take away some of the fun !

Erection problems are very common - I have yet to have a meet where it hasnt been a bit of a problem so Sabrina always keeps an eye out to help me when it happens - it's funny really as I have no problem when it's just us - so it has to be nerves lol

Not bothered at all by it now - and although some women may take exception to me not getting or staying hard for the duration - we see it as their problem and not ours really ?

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Thanks again ...all!, for the advice a problem shared and all that....

Happy swinging

Jay

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By *ughty NewbiesCouple
over a year ago

Truro

"Just a question?How many guys,couples have found that on their first meet...they have let the nerves get to them and cant get a full erection .....or cant go through with it?

Thanks

Nothing to be embarrassed about, I've had nerves affect my performance before now. Pretending it doesn't happen or feeling you have to suffer in silence and not talk openly doesn't do a man any good at all. Better to acknowledge that we all have a misfiring custard cannon sometimes and being able to face it and admit it, in my experience, tends to mean it's less likely to happen again.

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By *ayb1970 OP Man
over a year ago

Somerset

Thanks again for support...all

Jay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a tough one for the guys this...

The moment the action starts it sometimes feels like you're suddenly in a 100,000 seater floodlit stadium with a huge and highly critical crowd hanging on your every move - ready to vilify any false move! You aren't of course (are you?) but this is how it can feel!

But if you are with the right woman / couple /whatever turns you on - then hopefully they'll help to put you at ease.

I've also known several swinging guys who have the reverse problem and the damn thing never goes soft no matter how many times they come (how on earth DO they do that????)

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By *o Peep n WoodyCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

the trick is to let them know that you are nervous because its your first time with them, that way you wont pressurize yourself for being soft in the first 2-5-10-15 minutes..whatever takes you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you just gotta take it easy..enjoy yourself

i still havent had my first meet yet, when i do, i shall let you know my own personal experience

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By *RS79Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Not a problem for me either and my little fella is ready for rounds 2 onwards in 5 mins or less!!! A suprise for many people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regarding the true comment about porn not being natural regarding erections, you might find a lot more realistic sex on the cams here.

Quite often the guys are not completely hard all the time. Much more realistic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you just gotta take it easy..enjoy yourself

exactly... breathe deeply and relax. Forget about the increasing prices and the mortgage repayments, the mother in law visiting on Sunday for dinner, and the kids running riot at school when they actually go. Forget about the lack of promotion at work, the idiot boss who you do unpaid overtime for and the amount of coffee you drink playing havoc with your ever increasing blood pressure.... and enter into a transcendental state of feline contemplation...

ommmmmmmmmmmm

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell me about it! ur post has been helpful for me too, as ive had a few meets with couples now and its one of my biggest fantasies! but i cant get it up! wats that all about? like every one eles has said tho, now its happened i think about it before it does which makes it worse! ive defo thought id better change my user name as its false advertising really!lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happend to me when had a 3some with to girls was gutted! I just watched them lick eachother for about half hour trying my best to wank and get hard! lol after a wile I relaxed and was fine... its psychological. still when they both started sucking me off together I was hard in a flash! Fucked them both for ages and I was the only one that didnt cum, gutted!

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